Translated Accounts (3 page)

I would be inside very very quickly, squeezing entry into where it might be. But, too, caution. I could be trapped. I had strength, unlike the other, a chest strong, with power, my upper arms
also and if we were to fight no advantage would be to him through physique, only than height. But height, what is height, reach, but to what, reach to something. I had strength, he had none to
myself, what he could do, nothing, he could do nothing, not to myself, I do not sneer, I am saying it, simply, it was as that.

I was at this time near to one ceiling, walking quickly to see where I should be and some way along there I saw a place that had this possible way. I said it I was not so tall as the one in
opposition but above the lower wall here was a further tanglement of wood, concrete, iron bars, more rods, and I could grasp these latter with my left hand, retaining my own weapon, and they held
for me. I also was not heavy in weight, so to be tossed by the wind, if not by this other, if as nothing, not so to him.

No bitterness was in me. Others may do so what they will do, feeling such, yes, all their lives, themselves themselves, there is no bitterness to myself, in myself. I have none, I can say it, am
saying it.

I looked to him, hearing the knocking, he was wielding the iron bar. What had happened to his concrete piece, yes, had it smashed into fragments and looking at him my bar might crunch into the
shell that was his head, it would come not long from there.

I had not selected him, not myself selected. Securitys were there. If I am to say more, what it might be, that is not yet known. I was to move to him, so moving, he now was in retreat. What is
not known. All is known or may be predicted and at any time. This man had no power, not to myself, and I move swiftly, so may do it, swiftly

Yes, this was the redhaired woman. She was coming from outside. She had a large bundle, parcel. Where do things come into existence? She hurried into our section. I listened,
the door shutting. It was quietly done by her, not wanting one sound. She has a child, a baby, was carried on her back, its face was tiny.

The face of the baby, any baby

This woman did not have a companion. I did not know of one with her, if accompanying her. This companion was not seen. None saw him, her. I did not, no other. How I can say it, if I may.

I also have a child.

The wind blew. She wore a wide top, clothing piece, and so her body was revealed. She would wear clothes that are not her own, seeming as such, as in an effort to conceal herself, wide clothes,
wider.

But if she did not care, it is possible.

She never would look to me. I smiled now but again, not, why not look to me like this? Yes she was afraid but not of me. Why? There is no reason. I had an attraction to her and did want her if I
did so, sexually, yes, as this is man to woman, not a horrible and terrible thing. She saw me, yes watching her I did so. Often. Yes, I do not deny it. But I would do nothing that might be
unwanted. Thus, I studied her. She saw me, myself, I also as seeing myself, watching. This for her too was something, if she thought of it, what she did think, as I watched her, studying herself,
what she did think, it is man to woman, if she was fearful.

This place where we were, horrible things, events, leaving their sign. Yes, these then are signs of existence. Their existence. Some are material.

Its effect on us, myself, as on anyone, human beings, lowering our strength, lowering our resolve, weakening our spirits, yes, we were weakened spirits, this is how I can say it.

What history may be.

She had her baby, it was with her.

I said I have a child, so thoughts of my child, one other life, one to another.

I do speak of spirit. Something may reach out. It is no recourse, I was comfortable with such thinking, am comfortable now, comfortable with it now too, also, yes.

What is there to enumerate, essence of human being, our strength alone, this thing, what it is, more than resolve. I was unable to avoid these descriptions of my state, reaching to what was, if
what it may be, that I in becoming. What happened would not become clear until I was out from my own self, away from there but when that could be, and how were we to live through this until it, if
it should come.

None explains this to us. None ever does so.

I cannot say either what happened to the redhaired woman but she was one of many, if she was, I think that she was. She had a large bundle, a parcel, if something was inside it. I also, having a
child, I have said it.

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...7]8...7î...7 There was always curfew that evening any evening, people were over the bridge in the square and they saw, spectated, as to say nocurfewthat evening there was always curfew any
eveningI was on the bridge and they passed me, this without recognition. I heard their whispers. They were hurrying. A breathless talking together, I do not know what about. Yes of course I
listened trying. They paid no heed to me. Soon they were thirty metres ahead. The time would have been eight thirty, nine. Dark, yes, mild, approaching, paid no heed to me, I had seen these two on
occasions, not so to speak. If under these circumstances, what circumstances. It was during my early period in this town and I was learning things, some were on top of me and also were my
obligations, these that had to be performed, my colleagues also were there

If one is to know about this section but that it is older, the buildings, all stonework. I did not pay the attention. I had been across the bridge numerous times, occasions. Yes
it was beautiful, we can say that. Ceramics, an old art, the design very unusual, such a thing, a frieze, in such a form, people came, tourists and other strangers, photographs, video cameras.
There are no mountains. Local people made use of that bridge. From early evening it became a promenade and for young people, many young people. Older people also, families, babies, yes, elderly,
grandparents, all would be there, and creams, ices, they would buy them, and little children. Their enjoyment could be seen, that was displayed for all, securitys, all personnel, whomever was
there, all might see it, this was not kept hidden. If securitys did not like this, yes, it was displayed.

Military might be there all at that place. I did not see them. It was the bridge, truly a communal point, meeting place. Across from there was a small square, people would walk
to there. For many it was the end of the promenade, they would go home. Tonight was not the same and these two fellows now were hurrying and when they reached that other side I heard the noise from
behind, it was a chase, unmistakably so, the pounding feet, and these two were moving very quickly and I myself of course alert, yes I was alert and saw one of these two and knew him who he was,
recognised him, foreign guest in our country, famous man, political man and the other, yes, I knew him also with the sight of his hair, newspapers made cartoons of him, lawyer, respected man here
in this country, political man. Ahead I could see them veering, now across, to the left end of the square and down the passageway there. Not far, hearing their footsteps halting, thumping on a
door, quickly quickly, and vanishing inside. Now pounding feet were at myself and this one man dashed on past and around that first corner across the square but to the right side and from behind
were more, many of them, securitys, I should say seven of them, and gripping their rifle weapons, pursuing the individual across the bridge and across the square, disappearing from view. And
silence. My memory says scuffling, were they catching him and he put a fight to them, and fought hard. I do not know. Until then I heard the gunshot, five in counting, but if I was mistaken, I
might have been. They now returned, the several, not quickly, neither slowly. Of course I was unconcerned, acting so, I knew what it was, left hand in my pocket, right at my side, swinging. I was
not self-conscious, keeping a rhythm but not as marching, simply, and with my left leg, and through my mind an image of an old experience, when in the early days a boy like myself I remember him,
if he was selected, I do not remember, I do not think so, I did not know him. But he did not know how to march, I am saying, he not having

yes I have been trained, trained in it, long experience.

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was like clockwork, swinging at his side, a boy like myself, if he was selected, he did not know how to march, not having been trained in it, long experience as myself.

faltering however, clockwork which was breaking down, required its rewinding, we were very new, if he was selected, I do not remember, I do not think so. He did not know how to
march. His left arm was with his left leg, his right arm with his right leg, his shoulders yes, also, how his shoulders moved, he was concentrating to keep his limbs synchronised for it was
unnatural to him, as to all, so moving his shoulders in such a manner, an aid for him. He did not find it natural and could not

Now from behind me the securitys passed, speaking together, quietly, amusement, such a still night, voices could be heard, so, whispering together, one said to the other, He
shot himself, it was a suicide mission. The others would be looking to me and laughter. Also people were there who had been walking out and now were returning home as the curfew, before that time.
It would be to myself, the securitys would look to me. It is what will happen and we prepare for it, I was prepared for it, but did not look to them, carrying their weapons lightly, I knew it. What
kind of weapons, old fashioned I think in design, I think so, and having bayonets certainly. Do not look to young ones, if they would seek excuses and two were so, young, 16, 17 years, 18 years,
also carrying their weapons, and their nervous-systems and they cannot listen they cannot listen if you speak to them they do not hear you cannot hear you they wish to slap you, speak fast to me I
cannot hear you, yes, they did not seek excuses but killed quickly and I say also that they were in readiness. 16, 17 years, 18 years, they did not know anyone, famous people from foreign
countries, they did not know, they killed anyone, killed quickly, they did not know foreign countries, amereeca put me on the movies plees. They passed, yes, but then were stopping, allowing others
to go on to the square, and across there, but not myself, they were looking to myself.