Authors: Chris Jordan
the floor, looking sideways at Edwin Manning, who lies
sprawled nearby, a dart protruding from
his
neck.
Amazing. What happened exactly? Sally’s thoughts have
become vague. Is he dying? If so, it’s not so bad. So far.
A big, meaty fist comes into his angle of vision. For
some reason it reminds Sally of one of those coin-operated
games on the boardwalk, the one where you try to snatch a
kewpie doll with a little crane. The big fist locks on Mr.
Manning like he’s a kewpie doll, and from behind comes a
haunted voice that says, “I decided you and your son should
be together.”
And then the boss is gone.
18. Events In The Sky
Even as an adult, whenever I got seriously out of whack
my mother had a favorite song she would hum—”Cleopatra,
Queen of Denial.” She always did it with a smile—the idea
was to kid me into straightening out, or at least accepting
reality—but she had it right, believe me. For many years I
364
Chris Jordan
was
the queen of denial. Something about the world I didn’t
like, I’d tune it out, ignore it to the point it no longer existed.
Best example, getting pregnant. I’m sixteen and my
periods have always been somewhat irregular. So it’s fairly
easy to not pay attention when the time comes and goes. And
okay, I did pretend to use and dispose of tampons, so Mom
wouldn’t catch on, but that was just to avoid embarrassing
questions about menstruating, not because a pregnancy was
possible. No way. Couldn’t be. Don’t even think about it.
I tucked away the fear—it was a terrifying notion, me having
a baby—and went on with my teenage, high school life. A life
in which I was the shy girl without a boyfriend. There were
plenty of girlfriends and friends who were boys, but no actual
hang-out, take-you-on-a-date, try-to-make-out boyfriends,
because either my father chased them away or I did. He because
of a deep belief that all teenage males were basically evil and
me because the whole idea of sex and boys was scary.
I wasn’t ready, didn’t have a clue.
Amazing attitude, considering that I was pregnant. The
queen of denial, floating on a river of lies. One month went
by. Two months. Three.
My body cooperated with my brain, hiding the truth. I
put on a few pounds, but not many, and besides, my weight
was fluctuating then, as I lost baby fat and put it back on,
dieted and binged. My belly muscles tightened rather than
expanded. Most women, healthy women, when they get
pregnant they want to show, and they do. Not only did I
not
want to show, I refused to admit the reality of what was hap-
pening. If I didn’t have a protruding belly I couldn’t be
pregnant, therefore I didn’t allow myself to have a belly.
That was good for about five months and then my seam-
stress skills came in handy, altering blouses and skirts, mak-
Trapped
365
ing sure the cut and drape of the fabric concealed what I
continued to deny.
Amazing what a few blousy frills can hide. Not even Fern
suspected, although to be truthful at the time she was pretty
busy with her own new baby, and fighting day and night
with her future ex-husband.
Bottom line, nobody knew, not until I was well into the
seventh month. I’m lying on the couch because my “tummy”
aches. Too many damned potato chips, according to my stern
and disapproving father, but in reality the infant in my belly
is kicking with both feet. We’re watching
Seinfeld,
my father
and me, while Mom is in the kitchen polishing the dishes with
a special cotton cloth so as to avoid my father’s wrath about
spots on the dishes, one of his numerous pet peeves. Anyhow,
I must have groaned in a certain way because Mom came
flying out of the kitchen and before I could stop her she put
her hand to my belly. She knew.
“Maybe it’s her appendix?” my father suggests, backing
away from the couch as if fearful his inexplicable daughter
might explode.
Mom reminds him that I had my appendix removed at the
age of eight. Her immortal, marriage-ending words: “She’s
pregnant, you asshole.”
Kelly was born three weeks later, a preemie but strong and
healthy despite that. It was a very long labor, with several starts
and stops, and when I finally got home from the hospital,
shocked and thrilled and terrified of the tiny infant in my arms,
my father had moved out of the house and from then on it was
just Mom and me. And Kelly, of course, who ruled from day
one. What a pair of fists that little girl had! Grabbing at anything
within reach and refusing to let go. Tiny, impossibly small
hands, of course, but amazingly strong. First time she latched
366
Chris Jordan
onto my nose and wouldn’t let go was also the first time she
laughed. Gleeful. An actual grin of triumph. She was ten weeks
old. Way early, according to the pediatrician, but Kelly always
got there early. High-speed crawling at seven months, walking
at nine. She never toddled. She walked and then she ran.
The queen of denial is back, refusing to believe that Kelly
escaped and then was again taken captive. My girl is running.
No way did she let herself get kidnapped all over again.
Leo Fish may think he’s seen the “signs” and what he calls
the “trace,” a few spots of blood, the imprint of a flat-
bottomed boat nudged on the grass, and what he insists are
footprints. To my eye it’s all just bent grass. He can’t possibly
know what happened, other than that one man was murdered.
“Okay, she was here, she escaped, I believe that part,” I tell
him. “But how can you assume Lang grabbed her? Maybe she
got away while he was shooting this other man. It was dark, you
weren’t there, you can’t possibly know what really happened.”
“I agree it ain’t a certainty,” Fish says. “I can see where
you might be doubtful, not recognizing sign and trace.”
He’s being patient with me, which of course drives me
nuts. How dare he?
“Maybe Ricky got her, maybe he didn’t,” Shane says,
interceding. “Whichever it is, we still need to locate her.”
“Best get a move on,” Fish suggests, preparing to lead the
way.
“My cell is out of range,” Shane says. “Got any flares?”
“Might be one or two in the pan,” Fish responds.
Shane’s idea, set off a flare to alert the helicopters, let them
know where to recover the body. It’s not just the body, but
whatever evidence may be developed from the site—his old FBI
instincts tell him there may be important clues in the vicinity,
and he can’t walk away without notifying the authorities.
Trapped
367
I immediately like the idea, because if Kelly is out there,
running or hiding, she may see the flare and understand that
her rescuers are nearby.
“Ricky will see it, too,” Fish points out, but he doesn’t
argue the point. Knowing two very stubborn people when
he sees them.
Standing ankle deep in the dark water, so as not to set the
grasslands on fire, Shane ignites the flare and holds it high
in the air, a Statue of Liberty pose without the crown or the
gown. The hot-red flame is so bright I have to look away as
billows of white smoke rise up into the morning sky.
“They gotcha,” Fish comments in his laconic way.
He indicates a direction and I pick up on a helicopter
cruising the distant horizon. Sure enough it has shifted course
and is heading in our direction, no doubt having spotted the
smoke if not the flare itself.
As we wait for the helicopter the discussion turns to strategy.
Should we proceed by air? Does it make sense for Fish to guide
search parties from the helicopter? Shane seems to be pushing
for the helicopter, in the belief that we can cover more ground
quickly, whereas Fish seems to think the helicopter is a bad idea
because Ricky will hear it coming and take precautions.
“Man apparently believes he can make himself invisible,”
Fish points out. “In some ways he can, if we’re in the air and
he’s on the ground. This may look like open country but it
ain’t. There’s a million places to hide and a thousand ways
to not be seen. Ricky knows all the tricks. Best chance is me
locating his sign.”
In the end the discussion is settled by events in the sky.
The search-and-rescue helicopter, which Shane identifies as
a Bell 412, is close enough so we can discern the pilot, as
well as a passenger using binoculars. The passenger seems
368
Chris Jordan
to be pointing, no doubt at the flare smoke, which has begun
to disperse. Worried that they’ll lose us, I wave my arms and
jump up and down. Figuring if I can see them, they can see
me, which may or may not be true.
Which is why I’m looking directly at the helmeted pilot
when the helicopter explodes in a ball of hot orange flame.
“Pretty cool, eh Tyler?” Ricky says, lowering the RPG
launcher.
Tyler grins, makes a boom! motion with his hands, and
goes back to running in circles around his sisters, who are
drifting through the saw grass, light as butterflies in their
pinafore dresses.
The children have been with him more or less continuously
since he had the conversation with his father. Their presence
is a comfort, and he doesn’t want them frightened away by
roving helicopters. Figuring one down, they’ll call back the
rest. Not expecting rocket-propelled grenades or, indeed, any
of the other interesting weapons he has in his arsenal. What did
they think, his weapons would be limited to bow and arrow?
“Reya, honey? Careful of the water, you don’t want to get
your shoes wet.”
Reya—it means
queen
in Spanish, her mother’s idea—
Reya is the middle child, tends to be careless of her belong-
ings, and she sticks her tongue out at him and skips through
the shallow water in open defiance.
Ricky smiles. This is the new Ricky Lang. There was a
time when he might have lost his temper, maybe even
spanked her little bottom, but those days are over. He’ll not
raise a hand to any of the children now, or ever again. Solemn
promise, hand to his heart.
Strange. His big hand searches around his chest, attempt-
Trapped
369
ing to locate a heartbeat. Can’t find one. As the black smoke
rises from the wreckage of the helicopter, he grabs his wrist,
checking for a pulse.
No pulse. Amazing.
The sudden realization that he’s dead fills Ricky Lang
with joy. He’s left himself behind! He can no longer be killed.
Being dead creates all sorts of interesting possibilities.
19. The View From The Fire Tower
Maybe I’ve led a sheltered life, but up to now the only
place I’ve ever seen a dead body was in a hospital setting or
a funeral parlor. In the hospital the dead look empty and at
peace and at funerals they tend to resemble wax dummies.
Sad but not remotely scary, and never a hint of violence.
So far this morning my count includes the victim of a
gunshot wound and two would-be rescuers blown out of the
air. It feels like we’re surrounded by sudden death and frankly
it almost scares the pee out of me. Not quite, because I
manage to get behind a clump of bushes to do my business.
My male companions avert their eyes and say not a word,
for which I’m grateful.
“What happened?” I manage to stammer upon return.
“Why did it blow up? Was there a bomb?”
“Surface-to-air explosive device,” Shane concludes.
“Probably an RPG.”
My first reaction is that we lured them to their doom, homing
in on our flare. Shane looks like he’s thinking the same thing.
“You couldn’t know,” I tell him.
“No, I couldn’t,” he admits.
“It’s like you call the fire department to report a fire and
370
Chris Jordan
on the way somebody shoots at the fire truck. It wasn’t you
who made them shoot.”
Shane looks rueful. “Not quite the same. I knew he was
out there, I just never imagined he had the weapons to bring
down a helicopter.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“Makes you wonder,” Fish says, staring off at the black
smoke. “We know he’s got a fully automatic shotgun and now
a rocket-propelled grenade launcher. What else has he got,
and why’s he need such an arsenal?”
“Must have big plans,” Shane suggests.
Fish nods agreement. “Revenge type plans. Who’s he mad
at, besides the rich white man who helped him buy the casino?”
“His own people,” Shane responds instantly. “For
kicking him out.”
At the top of a new steel fire tower, located not far from the
forward deployment area, Special Agent Paloma Salazar backs
away from her spotting scope. She closes her eyes, takes a
deep breath, exhales slowly. Bird down, no doubt about it.
Salazar gets on the radio, orders the remaining helicop-