TRI-SEXUAL (32 page)

I wanted to appreciate my parents and James setting aside whatever problems they had against me to assist me with bringing my baby into the world. They coached me through with pushing and breathing techniques. I pushed and pushed and then came the head. Getting the shoulders out was the hardest part. After the shoulders everything else was a breeze.

The doctor said “It’s a boy.” I was so overwhelmed with joy. James cut the umbilical cord. They washed him up and checked him out. My baby had all ten of his fingers and toes for those who thought he would be deformed. He was born with no abnormalities and I couldn’t wait to hold him. He was 6 pounds 9 ounces and 21 inches long. Once they brought my baby back into the room James intercepted him and was the first to hold him. Seeing him holding our son was heartwarming.

Once he got into my arms he was so tiny and perfect. He had a head full of hair and the most beautiful big brown eyes. He opened them and looked at me taking all the worries in my life away. He was all that I needed in the world no one else mattered any more. I didn’t care if I had to live the rest of my life alone as long as my son was there I would always be complete. My parents held him and seemed to be overjoyed about having a grandson for the moment. They seemed too had forgot about who the father was and I wasn’t going to remind them.

I finally took a nap. I was so exhausted after using every muscle I had in my body. My body and mind needed a rest. By the time I woke up my parents as well as James were no longer by my bedside. They brought me some dinner. I needed to eat to bring my strength back up. The nurses then brought my son into the room so I could feed him. We had some mother and son bonding time and then they took him back so I could take another nap. I needed it after all that hard work.

When I woke up the next morning James was sitting on the couch beside me holding our baby. The nurse came in with the papers to sign the birth certificate. I named him after his father James Aaron Brown Jr. When James signed the birth certificate I almost cried. He looked me into my eyes holding our son and began pouring his heart out to me.

“Listen first of all I just want to apologize to you for all that I’ve done to you over the years. I know I wasn’t there for you through the carrying, but I am here now. I am going to take full responsibility and be there for our son. Over these past few months I’ve been really soul searching and I found out a lot of answers that were within me all along. I let her turn me against not only you, but our son” He said.

“There is nothing I could possibly say to take back what I did other than I want to leave it all behind me and move forward. I have not been happy. I find that the only time I was ever really happy when I was with you. I never wanted to admit the fact that you are the only woman I ever really loved. I was in denial for so many years. I lead myself to think that you and I would never work out. I find myself thinking about you always. Even when I tell myself not to think of you I’m still thinking about you. I always thought I could get over you, but no matter how hard I try it only makes me want you even more” he said.

I wanted to believe him I really did, but after the long road we traveled down I just didn’t trust him anymore. He had sold me so many dreams in the past. I didn’t know whether to believe him or not. Over the years I had learned that when you stand for the truth you will never fall for a lie. I didn’t want to fall anymore. My heart just didn’t want to be disappointed again. I couldn’t set myself up for failure. I just couldn’t endure another heartbreak. What I did know was that what I wasn’t about to stand for was him being a part-time father.

He was not about to be in my son’s life one day and out of his life the next. I wasn’t going to allow him to play with his emotions. I let him know that if he didn’t want anything to do with him to sign over his rights. If he was sure he was ready to take on the commitment forever I had absolutely no problem with that. He continued to assure me that he meant what he said.

That night James stayed at the hospital with me. He had me wanting and needing him all over again. I just prayed to god that he doesn’t leave me out to dry. He could hurt me all he wanted, but when it came to my son that’s where I was going to draw the line. He seemed to be genuine by the way he was so into our son, but I still had my doubts. I had every right to. When I looked into his eyes I saw something different which was sincerity. Everything seemed like it was going in the right direction for the time being.

My third and final day at the hospital there just had to be some bullshit. Some loud mouth drama starting motherfucker in my family told his wife Cyndi about the baby. I guess she couldn’t believe it until she saw it for herself. James and I were preparing our things. We were waiting to be discharged. We were playing with James Jr. when Cyndi walked into the room. On a normal day I would have been ecstatic to rub it in her face that I had his child. Now that I was a mother I wasn’t down for the drama anymore. I didn’t want my son exposed to any negative energy.

She couldn’t just walk in there civilized. She just had to make a scene. “So this is your son James. When the fuck were you planning on telling me this? I got the memo, but you weren’t the one who sent it. Did you think you could just keep this a secret from me James? You’re not honestly planning to raise this child are you? You have to be fucking kidding me. This is so fucking ridiculous” she rambled on and on. She tried plunging at me as I held the baby in my arms. James grabbed her before she could get to us.

“James please get her from around us. She is upsetting the baby” I said. He escorted her outside of the room and hopefully outside of the hospital. Just as James returned to the room the nurse brought in our discharge papers and we were free to go. Cyndi was still lingering around outside when we exited the hospital doors.

I knew she had to be livid to the highest degree. She apparently wasn’t finished lashing out at James. I was trying to make it to the car and make sure my baby was in the car safely. I wasn’t concerned with that shit she had to say even the slightest bit. She just wouldn’t stop. She tried fighting James right in front of the hospital. The police eventually came and detained her just long enough for us to leave the premises. If that was just the start I wasn’t prepared to deal with the drama in the middle or the end.

My son and I were going to live a stress free life with or without him. I wasn’t about to have that bitch running my life. While we were driving to my house I let his ass know. I told him basically that I didn’t want my child to be in danger or harm’s way. I told him I was prepared to raise my son by myself if I needed to. I didn’t need the baggage he had hanging onto him. I told him that I was not about to have a repeat of that episode. He assured me that he would take care of it so I left it in his hands. He spent the night with us and went home the next morning. He had to deal with that crazy bitch and figure out what he was going to do. He couldn’t have two households.

As soon as James went home she was up waiting and full of drama. She was all up in his face giving him an ultimatum. “It’s either me or them James, but you can’t have it all” she said. James told her he was not going to allow her to force him to choose between her and his child. Her face turned red as he continued to defend his son. “Fuck your son. I’ll run him over with my car. He’s probably going to be retarded anyway” she said.

James wasn’t a woman beater by far, but she was swimming in dangerous waters threatening his son. He grabbed her wrapping his hand around her neck. “Don’t you ever say anything like that again. If you so much as touch my son I will kill you” he said. She didn’t like that his son was taking him away from her, but it was nothing she could do about it. James grabbed some clothes and came back home to me and our baby. Although he didn’t want to worry me he told me about what happened. He told me he would never let anyone hurt our son in any way. James had the divorce papers drawn up and ready for her to sign.

When he returned home she thought he had come to his senses and he had, but just not in her favor. He gave her the papers and told her that he wasn’t going to put anyone above his son. She was shocked and in disbelief that he was leaving her. She balled up the papers, threw them in his face, and told him that she wasn’t signing shit. “I know where that bitch lives. I will make your life a living hell don’t provoke me” she said. James turned around and walked towards the door. She pierced through his back with a sharp knife. He bled out crying out in agony from the pain.

She was frantic and panicked. She called 911 saying that she had just stabbed her husband. The ambulance rushed over to his rescue and took him to the emergency room. She had just missed his spine by an inch and missed all of his vital organs. It was a good thing that he didn’t bleed to death. The family weren’t even concerned that Cyndi tried to kill him. They were sympathetic to her. They even got her out of jail on bond. She was facing attempted murder charges. It devastated me that she would do such a thing. I had almost lost him and my family was on her side. James didn’t want to press charges on her. He didn’t want her to go to prison he just wanted a divorce.

After that chapter was closed it was bound to be more problems on the way. James sat me down and told me he wasn’t going to allow her to interfere in our lives anymore. He told me that he was taking me and our son on a vacation. We needed it after all that we had gone through. We drove down to Miami Sunny Isles Beach to be exact. I thought we were going to a nice resort, but we were actually going home. James had bought us this gorgeous house on the water. We walked into the house and I almost fainted.

The nanny greeted us at the door, introduced herself, and told us welcome home. He had fixed our son’s room up so nice and the house was just amazing. As I walked throughout I fell in love. It was like he put so much time into making it match us perfectly. I saw a small T-Cup Yorkie lying on our bed. I noticed she had something glistening around her collar. She was so tiny I picked her up to admire her and that’s when I saw the ring. Oh my god I was so happy words can’t describe the feeling.

The view of the ocean was indescribable. It was like a painting or a postcard. It was just unrealistic. The weather was so refreshing and the atmosphere was like taking a breath for the first time. James went back home to get the remainder of our things. He got my house sold and we opened our very own law firm. I got everything I wanted, although it’s not what some would call ethical or humane. I’m happy living with incest so that’s all that counts in my book.