Trouble finding Blondie (16 page)

“Oh my God. Not a blissful experience....”

“Haha. Can’t have everything after all.”

“So now he was out. Then what?”

“Not so fast, he was just turned. I needed to push him out, but my body was shutting down because it was bleeding internally. I had no more energy to push. That’s when Lucas came over, and laid it on me with his French accent. ‘Simona, your body is shutting down. You are bleeding to death, and if you don’t push this kid out, he will be dead, too! Tu comprends?’”

“That was it. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer to me and said, ‘I’m going to fucking kill you if this kid doesn’t survive, do you comprends?’ Then Dr. Inouye came up, stood by my head, ‘Okay kiddo, he is not bullshitting. Can you still feel the contractions or not?’

‘I don’t know…'

‘I figured you were past the point of pain. Do you trust me?’

‘Yes. You don’t have to save me, but He needs to live.’

‘Look, my goal is to save you both. I need you to push when I tell you to push. Got that?’

“Well, I pushed when they told me. She was going by the monitor showing my contractions. I gathered everything I had left in me, and he was out in a few pushes. He was screaming, pink, with no signs of distress or pain, and that’s the last thing I remember. The rest, I know from Philippe.”

“So, they took your other ovary?”

“Oh no, it wasn’t like that. They rushed me to the OR with a 30% chance of surviving. If I wouldn’t have the combo of the surgeons and the experienced hospital staff, I would be dead for sure. Do you remember Dr. Inouye from my first surgery? She is that tiny Asian lady with an authority aura around her. It’s this light around, like Her Eminence Cardinal.”

“I remember. She walked in like a ghost, everything was moving, everybody on their toes, and everyone was looking for the source.”

“Exactly. So apparently Lucas was like a happy intern. Philippe later said he has never seen him like that because he has a God complex. She was determined to save me. Apparently I had too many ruptures to count. She was clamping them one by one, while Lucas was sucking the blood out and cleaning the mess. They took the whole uterus out and my fallopian tube with an ovary. Any organ that
 
I could survive without was coming out to stop the bleeding. Philippe said they were dicing and slicing…”

“Where are your scars?” Andre was lifting Simona’s shirt.

“That is the impressive part. Thanks to Dr. Inouye’s perfectionism, she used my old scars, and the big one is below my bikini line.”

“For all of that?”

“Yep. Even Lucas said that he wouldn’t have been able to do that. He is pushing her to use me as a case study. They have been working together since the exciting night of terror.”

“Another good thing that came out of a horror story?”

“Yes. I’m stoked for those two. They really found each other. Professional match made in heaven, by an accident.”

“Sounds like made in hell, not heaven. Blondie, you really do pay the highest price for everything.”

“Well, I woke up and realized that I was alive. The first person I saw was Lucas holding Francois. The payment was worth it.”

“What did he say?”

“He said, ‘You went to hell and back. Welcome to the planet Earth. This is your new lease on life, and this is your almost 9 pound miracle.’”

“I said, ‘Five pounds, my ass.’”

“He laughed, and I stretched my arms out to get Francois. He said, ‘Sorry Cherie, but you can’t hold him’.”

“I was like, what the heck do you mean? I need to nurse him. And before he could respond, Dr. Inouye walked in with ‘No sense of arguing with her Lucas, she is the most stubborn patient I ever had, and you should not be surprised after last night’s party.’”

“I tried to smile, give her shit back. ‘Sorry to fuck up your evening plans last night. I heard you didn’t get much sleep.’ We started going back and forth. Lucas was very entertained.”

‘No worries, I’m going to sleep in my coffin.’

‘Hey. That’s my statement.’

‘It’s mine now. I’m not sure, but it may be pretty close to the comfort of this Holiday Inn.’
‘Come on, it couldn’t have been that bad. A night in the ‘on call’ room with a hot surgeon and his cute French accent?’

“Lucas was blushing, but Dr. Inouye was in an unorthodox open ‘happy go lucky’ mood. She said, ’I’ll give you that. Last time that happened, it was during my surgical residency decades ago with some international interns. But I heard no accent, not even a sound, thanks to you. You worked us to death. And by the way, you are not human, you should not be talking right now, you should not be moving, and definitely should not have your brain already in a sarcasm gear.’”

‘What can I tell you, Dr. Inouye? I only have two speeds, dying or full speed.’

‘Well, you are going to have to find a new gear because you lost too much blood, and you are anemic on top of that. With your low blood pressure, being stitched up literary everywhere, inside and out, you need to respect your body.’

‘I will take it easy, I promise.’

‘You don’t get it, kiddo, do you? Your body should be dead. It’s simply a miracle, and your sheer survival determination that you are still here.’

‘Well, I’m sure the two of you had something to do with that.’

‘We are good. No, we are brilliant at what we do, but not ‘this’ good. This was a work of a higher power. You beat all the odds.’

‘Are you turning religious or spiritual?’

‘All I’m saying is, if you want full recovery, there are no shortcuts, any little bullshit or stupid hero syndrome needs to take a back seat. One bad move and you are screwed.’

‘I didn’t know you wrote poetry.’

‘Ok, let me be blunt. If you push this, rupture anything we stitched inside, your body can’t take another round of going under. You will be dead.’

‘Got it. Loud and clear.’

‘Lucas, bring the baby. What’s his name?’
‘Francois!’

‘Ok, now look at him. He is perfect. His Apgar score is 10.’

‘What? Really? Big and perfect?’

‘Yes. Now promise you won’t make this perfect boy an orphan.’

‘I promise. I promise.’

‘As far as…, don’t fuck up my stitches either.’

‘Oh my God. Dr. Inouye. WHAT did you just say?’

‘Nothing…'

‘You are a naughty girl.’

‘That must be all the drugs from the anesthesia affecting your hearing.’

‘Can I nurse him?’

‘Hmm, milk wise, yes. But I don’t see it technically… Lucas?’

‘Philippe is setting up 24/7 infant nurse, and her cousin Reni is coming, too. Maybe half pump and half latch, just for the sucking reflex.’

‘How about the painkillers?’

‘I don’t want any. I don’t want it in the milk.’

‘That’s not realistic. You would be in agony.’

‘I can do it.’

‘Yes, we know you can, but your body can’t. Let’s figure out a compromise. We have him on donated breast milk right now. You are going to be here for a few more days, so that’s covered. You need to start pumping, so that your milk kicks in, and upon your discharge we can re-evaluate the medicine.’

‘Thank you. How about his sucking reflex and latching?

‘That’s a gamble. You have to wait and see.’

‘Fair enough. God bless you both. Thank you.’

‘It was actually a privilege to be here with you, ladies. I will never forget this,’ Lucas confessed.

‘Well Lucas, I don’t think any of us will ever forget this,’ they all turned and saw Philippe walk in. ‘And let me express my gratitude. I have never been more tormented, or part of anything more disturbing, nerve wracking, than last night. It was also amazing, with a happy ending, thanks to all of you. Thanks for letting me be part of it. I will never be the same.’

“The speech was powerful, especially coming from Philippe. You have to understand. These three people have a God complex in their own separate ways, but somehow at that moment, standing in that small hospital room with me lying helplessly in the middle, there was nothing but ‘humbleness and gratitude.’ A genuine respect, admiration, and a strange acknowledgment of a higher power. It was amazing to watch, and I wanted to capture that moment forever.”

“Blondie, how do I deserve to be here?”

“Same way I deserved to have all those amazing blessings. All we can do is pay it forward, give love, do the right thing, fix mistakes, and make amends.”

“Live honestly with integrity and character?”

“Yes. Spoken like a wise man.”

“Time for yummy desserts. Let’s go have some of Madame Bonnet’s sugar creations.”

❖ ❖ ❖

Back in Paris, reality was setting in. Being in the country was all a vacation, relaxing and catching up. Paris had ‘what now’ all over the place. Francois was sleeping. Simona and Andre were both showered in their comfortable clothes, candles everywhere.

“I wanted to tell you, I went to Philippe to thank him for what he did. He had a really weird reaction, totally brushed me off.”

“You went to thank him for the birth?”

“Well, for everything. But especially that.”

“Philippe is traumatized from that day, but also punishing himself. He can’t even talk to me about it.”

“Punishing? For what?”

“He and his staff made all the arrangements, rented the house, the cook, the nurse, flew Reni over, but he left on the third day. Lucas and he travelled together back to Paris.”

“Oh my God. Did he think I was being sarcastic? Are you serious?”

“Relax. He needed to go. He was maxed out. I only know this from Lucas, but he had a full on break down few moments after they took off, and another one half way through the Atlantic. Lucas actually sedated him.”

“What? You almost killed him?”

“Nice. As if I needed that on my consciousness. But you are right. I did feel guilty. I managed to convince him to come back a week later for Thanksgiving and tried to take him off the hook and out of his misery.”

Andre smiled and said, “I think it’s time for me to inspect the stitches.” He started pulling Simona down to the fluffy carpet, like they used to have together in their house on Maui. She was giggling like a little school girl with a smart ass attitude, “Well, professor, which stitches did you have in mind? The outside or the ones on the inside? The top or the bottom?”

“Hmm… Intriguing! Tell me more…”

“Haha. Dr. Inouye is famous for her artwork, but down there, she stitched me up all the way.”

“Not all the way, but tight. Your VJJ is like the school girl look you are sporting.”

Simona didn’t have any comeback because Andre already had her naked, inspecting all the stitches with kisses, driving Simona crazy. After her first orgasmic kissing torture, she was more than ready for him to come in, but he got up and walked to the kitchen. “Where is your coco, lady of the house?”

“What? Now? Noooo, come back here!”

“Stop telling me what to do, and tell me where it is.”

“Top shelf on the right.”

Andre grabbed a towel from the bathroom and had Simona lie down for a coconut oil massage. Heavenly is the word. His traveling hands went everywhere. She kept pulling him down, and he kept shushing her like a naughty girl. She was completely wet, and Andre finally laid down, kissing all her scars, coming up, playing with the valleys of her four pack, poking her ribs, climbing to her perky breast, making fun of her aroused nipples, calling them, as usual, two little soldiers. He was finally close enough for her to grab his face to kiss him. She was all oily, rubbing against his body, with his hand still down on her Venus triangle. The kisses were full of passion, with Andre’s hand caressing her down there, with his fingers checking out the newly rejuvenated vulva. Simona was in ecstasy, “Stop torturing me!”

“You need to take the volume down before you start setting off the car alarms again.”

“It’s time to give Him to me,” she protested.

“He is yours now? Are we being territorial?”

“Of course. He is my property.”

“Haha. Do I get to keep him?”
“Well, I guess for now…”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, when you decide to leave, I’m just going to chop him off, and keep him as a live vibrator.”

“Thanks for that graphic image in my head. Get over here, naughty girl.”

Simona was playing with Him for a while, repaying the torture, and when she finally let him in, it was like fireworks combined with hot lava. The moaning sounds he always made when coming in were not only a huge turn on, sexual pleasure, but music to Simona’s ears. The fireworks, the music, and like the biblical verse, two physical bodies becoming one flesh, one soul, was simply divine.

“I finally feel home, Blondie. I love you.”

They were both peacefully resting with flickering candle lights when Andre looked at Simona.

“What’s the number, Blondie?”

“Are you serious? Are you planning on ruining every love making, or just this one?” Simona got up and went to shower. Andre was left hanging, naked on the carpet, getting cold, with his tortured soul.