Truly I do (14 page)

"I expect
someone like Grace would look after you properly!" Julie-Anne heard
herself croak bitterly.

"What?"
Russell sounded shocked by the suggestion.

"Look
Russell," Julie-Anne had started this line of childish, jealous
reasoning now and she couldn't stop herself, "twice now, and
despite what you're saying to me, you seem more than ready to break
up with me. And you can't really think that I didn't notice the
cosy little relationship you were striking up with Grace. You
helped me when I needed a friend, but that's all Russell. You don't
have to keep up the facade any more, it's okay."

"What are you
talking about woman?" Now he sounded really angry. Had she voiced
his secret? Was Russell really a womaniser? Was he prepared to sit
in dark corners and whisper sweet nothings with the likes of Grace
whilst stringing Julie-Anne along? She felt as if she hardly knew
him. She could picture the pulse under his strong neck muscle
pumping as his anger began to rouse. She knew that the muscles of
his arms and chest would begin to ripple as he tensed and reacted
to what she was saying. "You're crazy!" he almost shouted, "Grace?
What ever gave you that stupid idea? It was you I was proposing to
wasn't it? It was you I was sharing my life with, making plans with
. . . taking up to Yorkshire to build a new beginning for us
both!"

Julie-Anne
tried very hard to picture a future, to see that new life Russell
was so hell bent on starting. All she could imagine was the same
cold loneliness she had lived with in her first marriage and that
thought of that left her stomach churning and her eyes streaming
with tears of fear and anxiety. "I'm sorry Russell. I don't know
what to say. I'm too scared to go any further with you that's
all."

"Well, I gave
you the choice," he said, with finality in his tone, "But don't
come at me with that other nonsense about Grace - that's just
stupid."

There was a
long silence. Eventually Russell said "Bye then Julie-Anne. I do
love you, truly I do." Then he hung up and was gone.

Neither her
mother nor her aunt could stop the tears that Julie-Anne cried over
the next three days. And neither of them could even persuade her to
come out of the house, not even to go with them on their visits to
her father. It was only after her mother came home breathless and
excited at the end of the third day to tell her that her father had
regained consciousness that Julie-Anne was finally able to start to
get a grip on herself again.

The next
morning she hurried to get ready to go to the hospital. She spent a
little time treating her swollen eyes with ice cold water and being
careful to put on some flattering make-up. It was her father who
needed patience and sympathy not her, she knew that. The journey
seemed to take ages although Annie was a good driver and her mother
chattered all the way about how good the weather was.

Finally she
stood by her father's bedside looking into eyes as dark and
enticing as her own, gently smoothing back his rich dark hair that
was clearly the prototype for hers, and they smiled matching,
gentle smiles at one another.

"Hi!" she
almost whispered.

"Hello my
girl!" he wriggled a little so that he was slightly more elevated
on his pillows. "How's your love life?" his eyes twinkled
cheekily.

"Died a death
I'm afraid Dad!" she confessed, "I'm afraid I couldn't quite summon
up the nerve to make a proper commitment to it all."

"Pity!" He
grunted and seemed to sink back into his bed, almost as if his
disappointment was making him shrink away from her.

"More to the
point - how are you?" Julie-Anne's mother cut in, smiling brightly
at her husband and drawing his attention away from Julie-Anne.

She sat
quietly, listening to her parents talking for a while. Then, not
wanting to intrude on their private time together, she went out to
the corridor to get herself a cup of tea. She put the coin into the
machine and grabbed at the hot drink as soon as it finished
dispensing. She was feeling impatient, disappointed, now even her
dad was fed up with her and she wasn't going to be able to do
anything to persuade him that she wasn't just a timid little waste
of space. She swung away from the machine, remonstrating with
herself, feeling sorry for herself and, as she moved, smashed the
plastic cup of hot liquid into the chest of a male nurse who was
approaching to grab himself a drink for his quick break between
patients.

Hot tea surged
all over his dark blue tunic making him yelp and jump backward.

"Oh-my-god-I'm-so-sorry!" Julie-Anne gabbled. And then, probably
because she'd done nothing else for several days now, she burst
into tears.

The nurse, who
was standing with his arms spread and a look of pure fury on his
face seemed to melt in response to her tears. "Hey now!" he
exclaimed, "No need for tears. Come on, I'll smuggle you into the
staff canteen and we'll get a proper cup of tea together. I can
grab a new tunic on the way, eh?"

Not knowing
what else to do with herself Julie-Anne dumbly nodded and followed
him along the passages of the big hospital building. When they were
settle in the canteen she apologised again and, in response to his
questions, she mumbled something about splitting up with her
boyfriend in England and having her dad so ill in hospital. The
nurse forgave her with a hearty laugh and said "Well my only worry
is a bit of extra laundry, so let's say no more about it."

Julie-Anne
managed a weak smile and found a lot of comfort in sipping her hot
tea from a canteen issue, green china cup.

"Actually, I
lied a bit just then." The nurse said cheerfully.

"Oh?" she
studied his big brown eyes and open, friendly face.

"Yeah, I have
got one other worry! I gotta go to a party tomorrow night and I got
no-one to take with me. Hows about you commin' along? No strings or
anything, just like a mate, eh?"

Her mind
raced. 'Why not?' she thought, 'This could be exactly what I need,
something to inject some interest and opportunity into my life
before I become positively suicidal.' So she said, "Thank you, yes.
I'd like that very much."

The nurse
glanced at his watch and cursed under his breath. "Look, I gotta
get going now. My name's Ben by the way. Can you meet me in the
entrance foyer of the hospital about seven o'clock? I think it'd be
the simplest all around if you can ."

Julie-Anne
told him her name and agreed to be at the hospital foyer for seven
the following evening. After Ben had gone she decided this might be
just the thing to cheer her father up too. Smiling she made her way
back to his bed side to tell him all about the nurse, whose accent
she just adored, and the adventure she had just agreed to go
on.

"Perhaps it'll
be a beach party somewhere?" Annie speculated over breakfast the
next morning.

"Yeah, the
weather's good enough!" Julie-Anne's mother agreed. "What are you
going to wear darling? Do you fancy some shopping to get something
new?"

"Oooh yes -
let's!" Annie agreed.

Julie-Anne
couldn't resist the opportunity to self-indulge a little and felt
as if new clothes would help her to find a new self to go out and
make the most of this new experience. Things seemed to be looking
up. Her mother was happy because her father had made a little
improvement in his health; her aunt was happy to be with female
company and Julie-Anne was able to let herself catch the jovial
mood. Maybe she could set her ever brooding thoughts of Russell
aside for a while at least.

The three
women moved from store to store chattering about the clothes they
saw and fashions in general. They giggled together like three
sisters and they had a glass of wine and lunch at Annie's favourite
little salad bar. Shortly after lunch Julie-Anne selected a sweet
little pants suit with tight, ski-pant style trousers and a fitted
jacket that curved in to her petite waist to show of her trim
little figure. It was in a vibrant candy pink colour, enriched by
the cascade of her thick, dark hair tumbling in ringlets over her
shoulders. She was lucky enough that Annie spotted a pair of pink
pumps that exactly matched the colour and her mother agreed that
the whole outfit was fun and very attractive for going out to meet
new friends.

"Are you sure
you're not nervous darling, going out with strangers? It's a first
for you!" Her mother fussed when Annie bundled them into the car to
take her mother to visit with her father and she to meet with Ben
at the hospital.

"I'm sure I'll
be fine!" she reassured, "Just like Dad says - I need to take a few
chances and get involved in the adventures life has to offer!" She
didn't say that her stomach was doing summersaults or that Russell
had been looming in her minds eye since shortly after breakfast.
She must forget him and move on, she must.

*

Ben was prompt
for their seven o'clock meeting. Julie-Anne took a good look at him
as he approached her. He was wearing tight jeans and a close
fitting white shirt that strained to cover his heavy shoulders and
thickly developed muscles. He was not much taller than Julie-Anne,
'Not tall and handsome like Russell' she found herself comparing
and tried to stop it. Ben's eyes were lively brown expressions of
boyish fun set in a round, jolly face. When he grinned his teeth
were pearl white against his dark skin. All in all he had the
appearance of a cheeky, fun person.

When he joined
her by the doorway he raised his eyebrows appreciatively and said
"Nice outfit, you're out to turn some head, eh?" She was pleased.
She had teamed the sugary pink suit with a cropped top in mat white
silk that showed her tanned mid-rift and emphasised her flat belly
and shapely hips. She had got out of the habit of wearing young
person's clothes and this was already a lot of fun that she'd
almost forgotten how to have.

"Where are we
going?" she wondered aloud.

"Oh, not far.
Friend of mine's got a place out on the beach, it's his birthday."
Ben explained. "His wife is throwing this surprise party for him.
C'mon, we'll grab a cab."

Julie-Anne
couldn't help but grin at Ben's vibrant enthusiasm.

"What?" He
flashed a quick frown, "Have I got spinach in me teeth or
something?"

"Not at all!"
Julie-Anne laughed, "I'm just enjoying your accent, that's
all."

"My accent -
you can talk! You sound like you swallowed a whole tree full of
plums, posh English lady!" he teased back.

They got into
the cab with an air of merriment. Julie-Anne already felt like Ben
was an old friend, someone she could comfortably josh with.

Ben's friend's
house, and the beach of black volcanic sand it backed down to,
where both clean, modern and very lovely. Julie-Anne seemed to hit
it off right away with Gloria, the wife who was hosting the party.
When her husband Jim arrived and was suitably surprised by all his
friends who had gathered at his home, he came to Julie-Anne and Ben
with his arm wrapped high around Gloria's shoulder and greeted them
with absolute glee. "Come on and join the gang, let's show you how
we like to have fun!" he enthused to Julie-Anne.

She chattered
to a group of people about the Maori art works that hung in
Gloria's living room. The pictures and wall hangings were lovely
and Julie-Anne enjoyed hearing about them from the people that knew
their history and the stories behind them.

Then she went
outside to the barbecue where she was helped to a huge burger with
salad and relish oozing out from the bun. She giggled affably and
chattered to two young men who were discussing rugby and deciding
what to watch over the weekend.

Then Ben came
and escorted her down toward the beach where there was music and a
bonfire was beginning to light up the slowly thickening twighlight.
They danced together in the black volcanic sands, kicking up their
feet and acting like two happy children.

Then the music
slowed down and the night sky became a blaze of silver sparkles as
the stars shone. Julie-Anne was enchanted. Ben took her in his
thick, muscular arms and, tough as he looked, was surprisingly
gentle with her petite body as he guided her around in a waltz.
When the dance had finished she began to feel awkward, standing
against him with her hands on his chest, looking directly into his
smiling eyes, Julie-Anne realised she felt nothing. Not the
slightest tinge of fancy for this lovely, joy filled young man who
stood looking expectantly at her, eyeing her full lips and daring
to glance down toward her throat and beyond. It was an awkward
moment. She wished that Russell could be there to rescue her. She
wanted to go home!

There was a
brief respite as the music started up again and one of the young
sportsmen came whirling in to swing Julie-Anne away to dance
giddily with him. He then passed her on to his friend who
eventually handed her fingertips lightly to a blonde haired boy
from the heart of the city who, she'd learned earlier, was studying
law and would soon be fully qualified to practice on his own. The
music was slow again and this slender, refined young man held her
tenderly as they circled around together. Once or twice he leaned
back to look into her face and smile. His was an almost pretty face
that belied the strength of his masculine physique. Julie-Anne
clung only to her enjoyment of the music and the happy company
whilst secretly praying that none of these men would get carried
away and try to kiss her or do anything even more embarrassing.

When this
dance was over Ben approached and took her by the wrist - "Better
not lose you to strangers Jo-o-ols!" he drawled, a little the worst
for the amount of alcohol he'd had to drink by now.

"D'you know
what?" She smiled back to him,