Trust (21 page)

“’cause I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye.” She gave me a soft smile, took my hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I didn’t think we’d get out of there.”

I retu
rned her smile and it then occurred to me that my lips and mouth were dry, so dry. “I bet Jenny must have been wild when she woke up.” I gave a soft laugh thinking about how crazy wild she’d be. She’d endured a lot, regardless of whether she’d brought it on herself or not. I knew her dad worked for the LAPD and made a mental note to contact him once I was up and about so I could connect with her and reassure myself that she was okay. Lance had been wrong, she wasn’t a lost cause; I knew it in my heart.

My soft laughter faded seeing
Becca’s smile fade and a grim look cross over her face. Tears began to well up in her eyes and spill onto her cheeks. This was the first time I’d seen Becca cry.

“What is it?” My brow creased. “She’s okay, isn’t she?”

“Gwen baby, Jenny’s dead.”

I struggled to sit
up and managed this time, ignoring the head rush that came with moving so quickly. “How’s that possible? I mean…”

“The guard
who shot you also hit the cart. The bullet went through the bin and hit her. Looks like it punctured her lung. We were in such a hurry to get the group away from the compound and to the van that we didn’t even notice until Lance was lifting the girls out and placing them inside.”

“I wanted to save them all.” I fought back the tears and let out a loud, uneasy sigh. “The other girls.”

“The others are all fine. Jenny was the only casualty.” She took my hands in hers. “You saved us all. Lance admitted to me that you insisted on taking everyone, or refused to go yourself.”

I nod
ded. “I couldn’t leave you guys behind.”

“That was stupid
, girl. I appreciate you stood up for us, but that was stupid.”

The sound of a key being inserted into the lock had us both turning our attention to the door. When the door pushed open to reveal Lance carrying a brown paper bag, my heart leapt up into my throat. Even worn out and tired looking, Lance was the sexiest man I’d ever laid eyes on. If I’d had the strength to stand up I would have rushed over to him
. Instead I had to settle for Becca releasing my hands and stepping away from the bed, to make room for Lance to take her place.

“I’ll leave you two alone.”
Becca retreated, exiting the room and pulling the door closed after her.

Neither one of us
spoke for a long while, we just looked into each other’s eyes.

“How are you feeling” he finally asked. He pushed back the blanket covering me and examined my leg
, which was already bandaged.

“Okay. Leg hurts, but okay. How did it get bandaged?”

“It was a surface wound. It bled a lot, but I was able to fix you up. It’s going to scar though.”

I laughed. “I can add it to my collection.”

His face fell, as if I’d slapped him.

“I’m teasing.” I took his large hand in my tiny ones. “It’s fine. I’m just glad it’s over and I can go home.
Ohmygod, my parents are going to be so happy, I can’t wait to see them again. Oh and I know they’ll
love
you.” A wide grin spread across my lips; I could actually feel my father’s arms around me and the smell of his Old Spice cologne. “My god, when I tell them you saved my life, Dad will likely name a town holiday after you. Lance Day, or something equally as tacky. My dad is the king of corny, but you’ll love him.” I gave him a playful swat on the shoulder, but my smile quickly faded seeing that he wasn’t sharing my excitement.

“What’s wrong?”

He took a deep breath in and slowly released it. “You can’t go back home, Gwen.”

Chapter 23

I wasn’t sure if I
had heard correctly. I couldn’t go home? Cocking my head to the side, I eyed him for a hint of a smile; surely he was fucking with me. The smile didn’t come, his expression remaining dour.

“Excuse me? What are you talking about?
Why can’t I go home? This is a joke, right?”

He took my hand in his, brought my palm to his lips and kissed it softly, before cradling it in his hands. “I didn’t want to tell you until we were free, since you already had so much on your mind…”

“Tell me what? I don’t… I don’t understand.”

“Tanne
r wasn’t at the compound when the explosion occurred.”

I shrugged. “So? I tell my father, he keeps me on watch.” I flashed him another smile, hoping he’d reciprocate the gesture. “And I have you to protect me.”

“The people I killed aren’t people whose deaths will go unavenged, Gwen.”

“But, you got all the big
bads… right?”

“I did. Mostly.
But there are still people who will come looking for me once they realize my body wasn’t one of the ones at the compound and that the slaves were all gone. My blowing the place buys us time to get as far away as possible, but that’s it, eventually the truth will come out. Tanner will explain to them how close I was to you and it’ll be easy enough for them to connect the dots. And if you happen to pop up alive where do you think they’ll go looking for me?”

“Me and my family.” I felt numb inside as the truth behind the situation hit me.
I’d been so excited over the idea of seeing my parents again, it hadn’t even occurred to me that that wouldn’t be a possibility.

“Not to mention they won’t want lo
ose ends. Even if I weren’t in the picture they’re going to want to eliminate anyone who may be able to shed light on the organization – although once the information I sent to a dozen news providers is reviewed I doubt there will be much light left to shed. Most of the companies will bury the story, but there will be one or two brave enough to air the list of people involved and their activities.”

“Wait a second. What about the other girls? Their families?” 

Lance shrugged. “I warned them, what they do from the time they step onto the bus I put them on is up to them.”

“But
–”

“I can’t protect everyone Gwen. There’s only one other person in the world
who matters to me and she’s sitting in this room.”

“But what do we do?”

Standing, Lance walked across the room to an army duffle bag sitting on the dresser. Pulling the duffle off of the dresser he brought it over to the bed and unzipped it. Reaching inside he produced two Canadian passports.

Eyeing the passports I accepted the one he passed to me. Flipping it open I saw a picture of me, but it wasn’
t me; the girl was named Lillian Louise Walters. Looking up from the passport I waved it at him. “What is this?”

“The only way you, me and the people you love will be safe is to disappear.”

“To Canada?” Admittedly, despite living close to the border I’d never actually been to Canada.

“
It’s safer there since the organization has virtually no contacts there and I was able to secure you a passport. A new life. A new identity. You have a whole new background. You’re going to need to study it, but we have a twelve-hour drive to the border so you’ll have plenty of time.” He produced a folder from the bag; inside was an entire background on me, a complete work of fiction.

“Let me see yours.” I grabbed his passport from him and opened it up. His picture beamed up at me
: Travis Adam Walters.

“Are we married?” Looking down at his marital status I notice
d it said married.

He shrugged. “As far as the government of Canada is concerned we are.”

“You could have at least proposed?” I grumbled under my breath, looking back down at mine. His chuckling had me looking back up at him. We shared a smile that helped settle my anxiety.

“I apologize for being presumptuous, I thought it would look better.”

My God, Canada? Maine was on the New Brunswick border of Canada; maybe one day I’d be able to see my family again. Surely there would be a point when I’d be able to make an appearance again – if only briefly. Maybe a few years down the road, but maybe.

“What if when we get into the real world we don’t get along? We get a fake divorce?”
I was only halfway joking. Life at the compound and life outside those walls were two entirely different things. Would we still have the connection we had now in a normal atmosphere?

He laughed outright. “Something like that. But I don’t think we need to look that far ahead.
Let’s worry about survival for now.”

“What about money? Jobs?”

He cocked a brow up at me. “Baby, money won’t be a worry ever in our lifetime. When we get there you can get a job, go to school, be a soccer mom… whatever makes you happy.”

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “A mom?”

He groaned, rolling his eyes at me. “Well, whatever. I’m just trying to make a point, the world can still be open to you. You can still be happy, it’s just not quite the future you were on the path to have.”

“Will I ever get to see my parents again?”

He sat down in the chair beside me and took my hands in his. “I don’t know. Honestly. If I feel it does become safe enough then it’ll be years down the road and not in the capacity you’d want. It would be a quick, unexpected drop-in and then gone again for another few years. No phone calls, no emails. Nothing. In order to keep everyone safe, it’s the only way.”

  
“Shit…” I raked my fingers through my long locks, not sure what to think. What he said made sense. Were my parents better off? They may be hurting but at least they and my sister were alive, which may not be the case if I went home. And I always had the hope of seeing them again. As long as I had that hope it made me feel better, even if it didn’t do them any good.

“There’s more Gwen. Something you need to know about me. I don’t want there to be any lies between us. I want you to know the man I truly am before you make the decision.
” Keeping my hand in his he leaned back into the chair at my bedside. “There’s a reason why I was able to get away with what I did at the compound.”

“Yeah, your dad…”

“No, as I told you already it wasn’t because I was his son that he gave me leniency.”

My brow furrowed
. I had no idea where he was going with this.

“
I’m too important to the organization, hence to a certain extent protected. Until now.” He huffed. “Now I’m the organization’s most wanted. I knew they wouldn’t kill me for fucking you because my father would have to defend why he killed one of the most important people to the organization over fucking some girl. I’m the organization’s lead arms dealer. Or, was…”

Ignoring the pain I sat up fully. “What are you talking about?”

Releasing my hand he stood and pulled his t-shirt over his head and tossed it onto the bed at my feet and then turned so his back was to me to give me a look at his tattoo. “You asked me a while ago what the tattoo stood for and where I’d gotten it.”

“Yeah.” I reached out and touched his back
, tracing the dark line work of one of the wings.

“It was given to me as a present by a warlord in Sierra Leone a year ago; a man who has become one of my closest friends and biggest buyers. And when I say friend I mean I had his respect
, not friend in the colloquial form.”

“Okay.” I knew I was supposed to be drawing conclusions at this point, but I was so mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted I just wasn’t going to get there without it being spoon fed to me.

“I’m called the ‘Angel of Death’ to my buyers because the guns I’ve sold and supplied to armies, militia groups, warlords and so forth have killed more people than the weapons of any other arms dealer in the past two decades.”

Lance turned back to me, waiting for my response
. When I didn’t say anything, he sat back down and reclined into the chair. “My guns are responsible for tens, hell, hundreds of thousands of deaths; more than most likely, I don’t really keep score.”

“But you didn’t pull the trigger…”

He frowned. “You’re big into human rights, right?”

I nod
ded.

“Al
l right, think back to what you know of the Rwandan genocide of 1994. I know you were barely born then, but it’s an important event so I assume you know of it.”

I nod
ded. I’d watched documentaries about it. “I’m familiar.”

“
Then you know that the guns and ammunition supplied to the Hutu military were pivotal in the extermination attempt on the Tutsi. Citizens used machetes and such, but it was the guns that allowed them to herd the Tutsi into stadiums where they were killed en masse using grenades or simply opening fire. It’s much more complicated than that of course…”

“But you had nothing to do with that.”

“No, no I didn’t. But those deaths are also on the people who supplied an army they knew was about to go to war.”

“And you’ve supplied armies about to go to war.”

Lance paused and then slowly nodded. “Yes, with the knowledge that people would die because of it.”

I had no idea what to say or how to respond. I was a firm believer that everyone was responsible for their own actions. There was always a choice even if the choices weren’t ideal. Even when I was in the dungeon locked up I had a choice, play along or fight my captors. I could carry on or do something so extreme that my captors put me out of my misery and killed me. Sure those weren’t the greatest of options, but they were options. When I had the gun in my hand and pointed it at Lance’s chest I had the choice on whether to pull the trigger or not. Yes, what Lance did for the organization may make bad situations worse, it may triple body counts during times of distress, but where there’s demand there’s a supply, if it wasn’t him supplying them it would be someone else.

“Jesus Gwen, say something.” Looking up into his eyes, I saw the worry etched in his expression. He really saw himself as pure evil. For a man who kept his emotions in such rigid check, seein
g him so distraught threw me.

“I think
you did what you had to do. I think if it wasn’t you then it would have been someone else supplying them. And I think you gave back the lives of over a dozen women and saved God only knows how many more lives with what you did yesterday.”

“This isn’t a game of checks and bala
nces, Gwen,” he argued.

“And you’re not responsible for other people’s actions
, Lance. I’m not sure why you’re insisting on hating yourself for what you’ve done, but
I
don’t hate or blame you for it. Just like you said earlier, this is a chance at a new life.”

“So this means…”

“It means I think going to Canada and being Mrs. Travis Walters is the best option. It’s the option I want because even though you may not think of yourself as a hero, I do.”

“Is it what you
really want?”

“What I want is us to go back to Maine so I can introduce my new husband to my parents, but m
oving to Canada also sounds like an acceptable option.”

He half-laughed and half-sighed. “Al
l right.”

I looked back down at my passport. “Is that why you asked me what name I liked?
And you used Louise, my mother’s name.” I was beyond touched.

He looked down at the name
Lillian Louise Walters
. “Yeah.”

“So you knew before you even left you wanted me with you?”

“My life was an extremely lonely and dark place before you came along. After needing you, and having you need me, I knew there was no way I could go back to the darkness I felt without you in my life.”

Chapter 24

Gwen

“Was it hard for you?” I was hoping Lance would tell me about what happened before he came for me at the apartment, but he seemed to be pretty tight-lipped over it.

“What?” Lance slipped from the chair at my bedside and sat down next to me on the bed. Slipping an arm around my shoulders he pulled me into him. I eagerly cuddled tight to him, slipping my arms around his waist and settling my head against his shoulder.

“Killing your father.”

“Nope.” Again, there was an intense coldness in his tone
that drew my eyes up to meet his. There was no remorse.

“I know he was a monster, but you grew up with him, right?”

He slowly nodded. “I did. He was always so invested in his work, he was away on business a lot, but when he was home he was the perfect father. I admired him, wanted to be him.” He huffed. “I guess I wanted to be him so badly I managed to become him.”

“You’re not like him.”

“My father was a sociopath Gwen, he had no remorse for any of his actions. Once I realized that I realized the love he felt for myself and my mother was just a façade, it was all self-serving. We were the perfect cover. He appeared to be the perfect man, and no one was the wiser at what actually lived below the surface of the impeccable shine which that was him.”