Trusting Jay: (A Chicago Suits Romance) (Loving Jay Book 1) (13 page)

O
n Monday
, I struggled to push my meeting with Jay from my mind.  I couldn’t mess my new position up and jeopardize losing it, along with my condo and everything else.  Since my parents died when I was a teenager, I’d been determined to have a good career. To make it on my own without needing help from anyone, because there was no one to get help from.  Now all my hard work was paying off, and I wasn’t about to blow it.  My entire life was riding on it.

By the time I’d had my meeting with Richard on Wednesday, my whirring mind had slowed enough to allow me to focus on filling spreadsheets with numbers. 

Richard seemed impressed with my insights and supportive of my vision for reporting, which reinforced my confidence in my abilities.  If only I didn’t have the issue with Jay distracting me I could really shine.

Every once in a while I’d stop to beat myself up for leaving the cell phone in the bar.  I trusted Jay, and respected his instructions not to contact him, my heart still leapt every time my phone chimed.  But there had been no word from him.

“You’re coming tonight or are you seeing your man?” Sam asked Friday afternoon.

“No, I’m not seeing him, I’m definitely coming.  Lord knows I need a drink.”

Her face dropped.  “You mean you’re not seeing him tonight or not seeing him ever?”

“Just not tonight,” I said.  My lips formed a tight smile, and she studied my face then walked away.  ‘Was I seeing him’ was a question I’d been trying not to ask myself all week.

* * *

A
s I took
the first sip of margarita on Friday, I could no longer avoid thinking about Jay.  What were the chances a silver envelope would be waiting for me in my front hall when I got home?  Or better yet, find Jay’s car parked out front with him sitting in it.

A few hours and a few margaritas’s later, Sam was getting ready to leave but Jenny and I protested.  I guess neither of us wanted to stop the partying.  Her milestone birthday had finally hit Jenny, and while last week had been a celebration, this week she wanted to drown her sorrows.  I had my own reasons for wanting to party.  Namely, I knew in my heart I wouldn’t hear from Jay this evening.

Jenny plunked three more drinks on the table, and Sam, for the moment, was obliged to stay.  The crowd was thinning out, but the bar hadn’t yet turned the music up and switched to dance mode.  It was the lull between the post work crowd and the late night party crowd.  A time to relax and order our usual extra spicy chicken wings that would give us the energy to make it through the night.

Our table was nearish the front, Sam and I sat side by side facing the door and Jenny sat in a chair with her back to the door.  I stretched around in my chair, looking at the bar and squinting to read the special of the day when Sam grabbed me and clutched my top so hard she scratched my skin.

* * *

“
O
uch
, what are you doing,” I said turning back to her.

As my head twisted back around, I froze.  Calvin.  Please don’t see us, but before I’d finished my silent plea, he had zeroed in on us and was marching straight to our table.

“What’s going on?” Jenny asked, turning to see what we were looking at.

“It’s our nightmare ex-boss, Calvin,” I said.

“What do we do?” Sam asked.

Before I had a chance to respond to her, Calvin had reached our table and stood, nose flaring, at the edge of our table.  His eyes bore into me, and I wanted to sink under the table.

“There she is,” he said, his voice seething with anger, “the little whore who fucks her way to the top.”

“Whatever Calvin, get lost,” Sam said.  How did she manage to make her voice sound so calm?

“You, keep quiet,” he said, his failed attempt at pointing his finger at Sam revealed his level of intoxication.

“Whatever, get lost,” Sam repeated.

Calvin slammed his fist down on our table, sending ripples through our drinks.  I moved back in my chair, distancing myself from him.  He leaned low across the table, bringing himself to my eye level as he glared at me.

“You fucking tell your boyfriend to pay up, slut.  He’s not offering me enough.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Sam snapped.  I was in too much shock to say anything.

He turned his head to her, “What?  You mean you don’t know?”

“Know what?” Sam asked.

“Know who she’s fucking.”

“Nobody noteworthy,” she said.

Calvin’s laugh ripped through the entire bar.  “Well thank you Sam, you’ve been a big help.”  He turned his attention back to me, “You are going to pay.”

“Leave her alone!” Jenny yelled.

A huge man appeared beside Calvin.  “Is this man bothering you?” he asked.

“Yes!” Sam and Jenny shouted in unison.

Without saying another word, the bouncer grabbed Calvin by the collar and frog marched him out the front door.  He came back to our table.  “Sorry about that ladies, we’ll make sure he doesn’t get back in here.”

“What the fuck was that all about?” Sam asked.  My pulse pounded hard in my ears and I struggled to hear her.

What did it mean?  I had no idea.  What boyfriend was he talking about?  Unless he did see me during our hike at the lake after all.  But what on earth did he mean by accusing me of sleeping my way to the top?  Or of my boyfriend not offering him enough money?

“You’re coming home with me tonight,” Jenny said.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because he probably knows where you live!  Or if he doesn’t, he could follow you home.  Attack you on the street.  Who knows what he’ll do, he seems unhinged.”

I started shaking.  The idea hadn’t even occurred to me.  I’d always thought Calvin was an idiot, but I’d never imagined he was capable of what he’d done tonight.

“Thanks but I’m sure it’s fine, Calvin would never do anything.”

“You need to phone Jay right this minute, tell him what happened.  Ask him what he’s got to do with Calvin,” Sam said, poking my shoulder.

Jay had told me not to contact him.  I wanted to respect that, god, I’d been respecting that all week no matter how much I’d wanted to talk to him.  Did Jay even know who Calvin was?  Would he be angry if I contacted him?  I didn’t want to ruin anything.

I weighed up the options and said, “I’ll text him.”

“You don’t look convinced.  What’s going on Abbie?  I know you, I know that look,” Jenny said.

“It’s nothing, you’re drunk,” I said, trying to dismiss her.

H
ey
, my old boss just verbally attacked me in the bar and said a bunch of shit about you.

A
s soon as
I hit send, I started typing again.

S
orry for contacting
you

* * *

I
gave
Jenny and Sam and exaggerated smile in an attempt to reassure them, but I held on to my phone underneath the table.  I would feel the vibration and be sure not to miss any text back from Jay.

“Here ladies,” the barman said depositing another round of drinks on our table, “On the house, for your troubles.”

“Why thank you,” Jenny said, helping him take the drinks from his tray.

We downed the dregs of our existing drinks and gave him our empty glasses.  Then we picked up our new drinks.  With one hand under the table on my phone, I gripped the cool glass with my other hand.  Jenny and Sam each took several big drinks, but after Calvin I needed to be sober.

My phone vibrated in my hand and my heart raced.  Was is Jay, and would he be mad at me?

G
o
to the Four Seasons in one hour.  Tell the desk your name, a key card will be waiting for you.  J

“
W
as that Jay
, what did he say?” Jenny asked when I looked up from my phone.  I shot back.

O
kay
, see you soon

”
H
e wants
to meet up in an hour.”

In a moment of soberness, Jenny clasped my hand and said, “You need to be careful.  Promise me.  Something isn’t right about him.”

I ignored the comment, and they went  back to drinking.  The whole time my mind was racing, faster than it had all week.  What was Calvin talking about?  Why was Jay hiding from me?

I kept looking at the clock on my phone.   Every minute, it seemed.  Like it was the last day of school before summer break.  When forty-five minutes had passed, I set the phone down and stood.

“I don’t want to be late,” I said.

“We’re going to walk you there in case you run into Calvin on the street,” Sam said.

“And you have to text me later so I know you’re okay,” Jenny added.

“Fine, let’s go,” I said.

I
walked
into the lobby and up to the front desk.  There was a lump in my throat and I swallowed to try and calm my voice before speaking to the clerk.

“Hi, um, there’s a key here I’m supposed to get, um, I mean, you have it for me and I need it.”

“Your name?” the man asked.

“Abbie.”  He looked at me and smiled.  “White,” I added.  “I’m Abbie White.”

He typed something on the computer, nodded and passed me a key card.  “Here you go Ms White, room three eighteen, third floor, the elevators are to the left.”

“Thanks,” I said, snatching the card before he could notice my trembling hand.

When I reached the door, I inhaled sharply and tapped my card to the sensor.  I stepped into the room, lit only by the dim light of a desk lamp.  The door closed behind me.  

With my hand on the doorknob I allowed my eyes to adjust to the darkness.  Jay walked toward me, the light at his back casting an eerie glow around his frame.

“Abbie, are you okay?”  He took my free hand and pulled me from the door and into his arms.

My heart pounded in my throat, preventing me from speaking.  I nodded my head.  He hugged me tighter, and I felt at home, back where I belonged.  I took a few deep breaths, trying to rationalize with myself.  Bargain with myself over the issues.  If he could explain Calvin, then I would allow myself to sink into his embrace.  And only if.  But I'd already sunken into his embrace.

I kicked myself.  I couldn’t forget the reason I was here or allow myself to forget all the strangeness of the past week; the no contact, the note, the bar.  Jenny’s voice echoed through my head, ‘be careful,’ ‘don’t be gullible.’  I swallowed hard and cleared my throat.

“What’s going on Jay?”  I tried my best to sound strong.

“I don’t know, tell me what happened.”

“Calvin came into the bar and yelled at me, saying I’m a whore who slept her way to a promotion, and that my boyfriend isn’t offering enough money.”

“Is that it?”

“He said you’d better pay up.”

“But that’s all he said?”

“Yeah, isn’t that enough?  He was screaming right in my face, banging his fist on our table.”

“You’re fine now.  Safe.  I would never let anything happen to you.”

I looked up at him, my eyes wide, “But how does he even know who you are?”

Jay tucked my hair behind my ear and stroked my cheek with his thumb.  “He doesn’t.”

“But...”

Jay swallowed the rest of my words into his mouth with a kiss.  Though everything in my head was screaming not to, I kissed him back.  His hand pressed between my shoulder blades, pushing my worries out of me.  Forcing them up through my body and out of my throat.  Except I turned my head away, determined not to lose myself in him

* * *

“
I
need
to know what is going on.  Something isn’t right.  This isn’t normal.”

Jay sighed and loosened his grip on me.  “It’s difficult to explain, and it doesn’t matter anyway.”

“It does matter, it matters to me,” I said, my jaw taut.

He moved to allow some distance between us and held the tops of my arms, positioning us face to face.  In the back lighting I found it difficult to read his facial expression but I was facing the lamp, and the light shining on my face allowed him to see mine.  I felt on display, bared for him to know everything about me but I couldn’t see deep into him.

“I didn’t expect this to happen.  Calvin saw me with you on our hike that’s how he knows we’re together.”

“But how does he know who you are?”

He shook his head, “I honestly don’t know.”

“And why did he accuse me of sleeping my way to the top?”  Jay took a sharp inhale of breath, sucking the air from between us. I waited for an explanation, my heart pounding.  Nothing about this week made any sense.  I had to be strong and not let him dismiss my concerns.  

“Well?” I demanded.

He drew me back into him, and his heart thumped against my ear.  “It’s all okay, everything is fine.”

“How does Calvin know who you are Jay?”  

“I don’t know.”

“Who are you Jay?”  My voice was breaking with a mix of anger and tears.

He kissed the tear that had escaped my eyes, kissed down my cheek to my mouth.  I tried to resist, tried not to kiss him back, but his jaw forced my lips apart and his tongue forced its way into my mouth.  It took all of my willpower, but I did little to return his kiss.

Jay tightened his hold on me and lifted me from the ground.  First he only lifted my feet off the floor.  I tried to make myself heavy, to ground myself to the earth, but he scooped me up and carried me to the bed, lying me on it.

“Don’t do this Jay,” I rolled off the bed and stood beside him once more.  “Why aren’t you answering my questions?”

“What questions?”

“What questions?  Seriously?  My old boss just sought me out and verbally assaulted me in a bar, saying I needed to tell my
boyfriend
to cough up more money.  And you don’t think I deserve an answer for that?”  The words rushed from my mouth.

“I think the answer is your ex-boss is insane.  You know that already.  How am I supposed to have the answer to why he said the things that he did?”  The calmness of his voice helped to slow my heart rate.  It made sense.  But I still had Jenny’s voice in my head.

“Fine.  But what about all the other questions I don’t know the answer to?  You know everything about me and I barely know anything about you.”

He sat on the bed and patted the space beside him.  “Okay, what do you want to know?”

I thought for a second.  “Where do you live?”

“I told you I live in the ‘burbs.  Not all that far from where we went for a hike.”

“Do you have a dog?”

He laughed.  “No.”

“Why do you have so much money when you don’t have a job?”  I was almost afraid to ask because I was so scared of what the answer might be.

“I don’t have much money, you’ve seen my car.”

I searched his eyes, “Jay, I know how much the lingerie cost.”

He leaned away from me and looked to the window.  I kept quiet.  This was the biggest question of all and I had to have an answer.  I would not let another Matt happen.

“If I tell you, you have to promise not to hate me,” he said, his voice quiet.

“Why would I hate you?”

He turned back and our eyes met.  The sorrow in his eyes melted my heart and I kissed his cheek.  He wrapped his arms around me and held me.

“For lying,” he said.

Lying.  That word again.  No man could be trusted.  My insides caved in, crushing my heart and lungs in the process.  I gasped, trying to take in air.  The damn burst and tears rolled down my cheeks.

Jay moved closer and wrapped his arms around me.  I tried to resist, to move away.  In my mind I was already running down the hallway.  But he held on to me and I had no chance of overpowering his strength.