Trusting Love (16 page)

“You don’t get it.” She shook her head.

She didn’t even realize how sexy and vulnerable she looked right now. Her blouse was undone, her breasts full and pouring from the lace bra she wore. Her trim waist and the piercing on her belly button made her look like some sex symbol, but he got her drift. He knew what she was trying to say. He just didn’t want to think of her loving another man like she did Steven.

Milton got up and met her by the edge of the bed. He towered over her, placed his one hand on her skin against her waist and the other hand on her shoulder under her hair and against her neck. He squatted down slightly, bending his legs to look at her face.

“I get it. You loved him. You gave him all of your innocence, your body, heart and soul and the fucker betrayed you.”

She nodded her head and tears rolled down her cheeks.

“I may have never loved someone so much or experienced that type of betrayal, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get it. I can tell you one thing for sure right now, Carina. Listening to you talk about him hurts. It makes me feel jealous and angry to know that another man had a hold of your heart the way he did. It makes me fearful, Carina.”

“Fearful?” she asked. Jesse squinted his eyes and felt his heart racing.

“Fearful that you’ll let him continue to rule your life and have control over you even now, when my brothers and I are offering you true love, true commitment, honesty, faithfulness and a security that you don’t have an inkling about, but that we’re going to prove to you. It makes me fearful that you will hold back in fear, in concern of getting your heart broken while I’m here, a much older man pouring my heart and soul out to you right now.” He bent down a little lower. “And honey, you can ask my brothers, I am not a soul-baring kind of man.”

Jesse chuckled. Carina nodded.

“I won’t lie to you, Milton. I’m scared of all the things you mentioned, but the one thing I know for sure is that none of it matters or exists, nothing Steven and Collin did have any power over me, when I’m with the four of you, being kissed by you, aroused by you and it just makes me want more. I want more, Milton, but damn, I’m scared,” she said, her voice cracking.

He pulled her closer and kissed her deeply. When he released her lips they were all there watching her and Milton.

“We’ll make it through this together. We just need to be honest about what we’re feeling and work it out together. Now, let’s get something to eat, and then my brothers and I are going to tuck you in for the night and give you another small example of what belonging to the Cortland men is going to be like.” He kissed her again, and this time Milton squeezed her ass, ran his finger along the crack and then gave her ass a spank.

“Milton,” she gasped as she pulled from his mouth.

“Don’t think we won’t be doing a lot of hands-on exploring of this body, baby. You’re absolutely perfect.”

He turned her around and led her from the bedroom.

Jesse smiled and looked at Jack and Nevin.

“We’ll work it out,” Jesse said.

“This isn’t going to be so easy for her, Jesse,” Nevin said.

Jack and Jesse squinted at Nevin.

“What’s going on? Is she in danger from these men? Are they looking for her?” Jack asked.

“As far as I know right now the possibility is too fucking possible for my liking. Let’s join them in the kitchen, we’ll start making some plans of action,” Nevin said to them.

“Did the text you got have something to do with this?” Jesse thought to ask.

Nevin gave him a nod.

“Cesar came to me today and we’re organizing a little team to investigate on the down low. In order to protect her, I’m going to use some of my connections.”

Jesse felt his gut clench.

“Oh, fuck,” he said.

“Shit, Nevin. You’re thinking that this town she came from was that fucked up?”

“Preliminary investigation is indicating that something is going on in that town and the power spreads beyond its borders. The Feds are involved.”

“Fuck me,” Jack stated and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Shh. Don’t let on to anything with Carina. She’s our responsibility and we will protect her with all we got. We’ll see what information we come up with in the next week or so. These things take time. What we need to do is secure this bond with her and prove to her we’re the real deal. I’m more than ready for that,” Nevin said and winked.

Jesse and Jack nodded.

“Hell yeah. We should be up for sainthood for not taking that little exploration session to the next level. My dick is still fucking hard,” Jack admitted as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other and then adjusted his crotch.

“You’ll get no sympathy from me. I think we’re all in the same boat. She’s a knockout, and she’s ours. Come on,” Nevin said and they headed out of the room to enjoy the first of hopefully many nights sharing dinner with their woman and loving her more and more.

“So I think it’s safe to say that something fucked up is going on in that town,” Nevin said to the guys as they all gathered around outside of the Filing Station a few nights later.

It was Mateo, Leif, Damon, Fox, Gino, Cesar, Jack, Milton, and Jesse.

“What did your sources find out?” Jack asked.

“More than I expected, and unfortunately it makes me even more concerned and have more questions. There seems to be at least two dozen individuals partaking in this group called the order. It’s a small town, but the main leaders are part of the board and main business owners in the community as well as the local sheriff,” Nevin explained.

“How the hell did you find out so much in such little time?” Jesse asked.

Nevin looked at his brother. “One of my contacts has a friend who just happens to be part of the government investigation into these people. So, Cesar, the call you got about backing off was legit. The thing is, this investigation has been going on for a while. When I was asked why I was investigating, I didn’t want to mention Carina at all, but then my friend asked me if a young woman, who he described exactly as Carina, was in Repose.”

“Shit. What did you say?” Cesar asked.

“I didn’t. As quickly as he described her then asked me, he then continued and said if by any chance she was then to keep it quiet and protect her.”

“You asked more questions, right?” Jack asked.

“No. Then like thirty minutes later I got an e-mail.”

“Well?” Milton pushed.

“It was a copy of an article in the paper talking about a third young woman who had disappeared and whose body was found on the side of the road in Kilt County in the last ten years. The latest was a young woman in her early twenties who had family who lived in Starling Grove, who she came to visit. Then she disappeared. Because of the similarities in the condition of the bodies when they were found and the lack of not only evidence but investigative procedures taken by local law enforcement who responded to the scene, the cases are all unsolved and inactive.”

“They’re killing women, and making sure the crime scenes are contaminated so that no evidence can be collected or the murders solved?” Mateo asked.

“Were all the responding detectives or police officers the same individuals?” Leif asked Nevin.

“Not the same officers or detectives, but the same police department. Starling Grove,” Nevin said.

“What’s the connection with Carina and the possibility that she could have been the next victim?” Jack asked.

“I’m not sure, and I don’t think I can push any more for now. However, my connection now knows that Carina is here and he will not tell a soul because it seems to me she’s safest in hiding. He will let me know of any updates, but also you know eventually he’ll come here and want to place her under federal protection, and we won’t have a say in it.”

“The hell we won’t. We’re the only ones who are going to be protecting her. It’s all of us, and this town. This is where she’s safest,” Milton said firmly.

“What are the Feds doing now to try and find these women’s killer or killers? Also what about this order, and who is part of it so they can eventually be arrested?” Cesar asked.

“I honestly don’t know and he couldn’t give me more because what he gave me was pretty damn crucial enough.”

“Are you sure this guy, your friend is legit and will keep Carina’s location hidden?”

“There’s not a doubt in my mind,” Nevin said.

“How can you be sure, Nevin? There’s a whole lot of corruption and crazy shit going on around that town and the case,” Mateo asked.

He looked Mateo in the eye and spoke very seriously and calmly. “He owes me his life and then some. Let’s just leave it at that.”

* * * *

“So, you’ve made some progress with the Cortland men. Not so terrible after all, huh?” Amber asked Carina by the bar and winked at her.

Carina smiled and couldn’t help but to blush.

“It’s hard, and I’m taking things as slow as I can.”

“Honey, you take it as slow as you need. They’re good men and very trustworthy, not to mention, hot,” Amber said and raised her eyebrows up and down.

Carina chuckled. She glanced behind the bar and caught sight of Ledger squinting and looking a bit upset. She wondered if he thought that Amber was talking about some guys she was interested in and was jealous. It was pretty obvious that Ledger liked Amber and she seemed to like him as well. He headed back down to the other end of the bar to make some drinks for some customers.

“What about you?” Carina asked her.

“What about me what?” Amber asked, fixing her little waist apron and then leaning her elbow on the counter. Amber took a glance at her tables near the bar. She was working the late shift tonight.

“Ledger? When are you going to take a chance with Ledger?”

Amber’s eyes widened and then she looked away.

“What do you mean?”

Carina gave her arm a nudge. “Don’t play that with me. You like him. He’s always helping you out with the baby.”

Amber shook her head.

“I’m not interested,” Amber replied.

“Then why do I catch you staring at him whenever his back is turned? Is it just the fact that the man has a super great ass and is in amazing condition?”

Amber swung her head to the side to look at Carina, who chuckled. She leaned against the bar.

“He works out so hard. He doesn’t let his disability get in the way, that’s for sure. Wait, it’s not that, is it? That he’s an amputee?”

Amber shook her head.

“I should get back to my tables.” Amber moved and Carina stopped her.

“I know I’m the last one to talk, especially because here I am twenty-three years old and have four super sexy, older, experienced men interested in making me their woman and I’m fighting it every step of the way, but, alone is lonely. I’m tired of being scared all the time, of looking over my shoulder, of being happy and then suddenly being a victim again. It’s a vicious roller coaster, yet whenever I’m with one of the Cortland men, never mind all of them, those fears, those insecurities, that loneliness and sadness, all disappears. Who is to say that won’t be the case with you and Ledger?” Carina said to her.

Amber had tears in her eyes.

“I’m happy for you, Carina, I really am. My life is a bit different. I was married, in love, we started a family and had baby Ella. Then Gabe was killed in Iraq and all our plans, all our happiness, and my life changed in that instant I got the call. There are too many things to fear,” she said and then cleared her throat and stopped talking. “I need to get back to work.”

She walked away and Carina felt terrible. Amber was suffering in her own way. It made Carina feel stupid for saying anything to her. That was Amber’s business and Amber’s life. Why was she suddenly feeling like she could give advice or push Amber or anyone to get involved in a relationship with men, or to make life-changing decisions when she was living in fear, pushing four potentially amazing men away from her and not taking any chances herself?

She swallowed hard and looked around the room as she headed toward some more customers at the dining tables near the bar. She caught sight of Nevin and his brothers and friends. He looked different than when he was wearing his white doctor’s coat and appearing efficient and professional. Now he wore a dark T-shirt that showed off some tattoos that peeked out and a sexy pair of jeans that hugged his waist. He didn’t look like a typical doctor. He looked sexy, and a bit wild. She felt her body react.

As she scanned him and his brothers with her eyes, her entire body lit up with desire. She wanted them. She wanted to make love to them, to feel their bodies and their protection, but was she ready for that? Was she ready to make love to them, or would the fears, the memories from the attack overshadow the happiness these men could bring her?

Then instantly she thought about what she could give to them. She wanted to be special to them, everything they desired in a woman, a lover, a best friend. She wanted a hell of a lot more than she ever thought would be available to her, and something inside of her clicked.

She couldn’t be a victim any longer. It held her back, could potentially ruin the possibility of love and happiness for the first time in her life for real. She wanted to take a chance. She wanted to give them the opportunity to do as they promised. Love her, take their time with her, and protect her. She wanted them to need her like she was already needing them.