Trusting Love (9 page)

She shook her head. Steven had promised her the same thing. Whenever they went out, if another guy hit on her or tried something, he took care of it. He acted possessive, he promised to always protect her and put her first. He didn’t. He exposed her to Collin. Offered her up against her will.

She felt a hand on her knee and she jumped up and dropped the paper plate of food on the floor as her stomach wrenched with sickness. Her eyes were glazed over as she looked at the stunned expression on Nevin’s face. She felt the food coming back up as he reached for her and she slapped his hands away, covered her mouth, and went running.

She got to the bathroom, slammed the door closed, and emptied her stomach into the toilet. She gagged and cried and lost her breath, feeling like she was going to choke and wishing she could be numb to the feelings, to the memories in her head.

She didn’t hear the door open but felt the comforting hand against her back, caressing her, and a hand moving her hair from her face as she continued to gag until she was exhausted and spent. In her mind, she imagined the night she was attacked. She cried.

“Easy, baby, nice calm breaths. You’re okay now.” Nevin?

She tried to move but he held her against his chest as he sat on the tile floor, legs wide and sticking out as he leaned against the wall with her between his legs.

“Here,” she heard Milton’s voice and then felt the cool washcloth against her heated skin. She was perspiring and felt clammy and so tired.

“Why are you still here? Just go. Leave me, please,” she whispered as more tears rolled down her cheeks.

He continued to caress her back and her hair.

“We’re not going anywhere. You’re going to see that this is the real deal. We want to take care of you and take all that pain you have bottled up and take it away. Just let it go and we’ll take it all away.” He continued to caress her until she felt her mind drifting off and started to ask herself if they were real, and if they really could be trusted after all.

* * * *

Nevin continued to caress Carina’s hair as she calmed her breathing and stopped shaking. His heart ached for her and he didn’t even fully understand what happened.

“Oh, God, it’s probably so late and you have work early in the morning,” she said and began to lift up.

He helped her to a sitting position and she looked so fragile and weak. She lowered those gorgeous blue eyes of hers and pushed her hair behind her ear while leaning on her palm.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Shhh. Don’t even say that to me. To us,” he said and she looked up to find his brother Milton standing there.

“I feel so stupid.”

“Don’t,” Milton said to her. She looked up and her eyes filled with tears but none fell.

She took an unsteady breath and then knelt on both knees, tucking her feet under her. She placed her hands on her thighs and looked at Nevin and then Milton.

“I’m tired. I’m so damn tired. My head is pounding.”

“Of course you are. It was a long day, sweetie,” Milton told her.

Nevin reached out and cupped her cheek. He stroked her lower lip and smiled at her.

“A good night’s sleep will help.”

She shook her head.

“That’s not what I mean, Dr. Cortland.”

He squinted his eyes at her and she swallowed then held his gaze. “Nevin.” He gave a small smirk in celebration.

“Tonight I said some things. I...”

She lowered her head and he tilted her chin up toward him.

“You’ll tell us everything. Soon. I know you will because deep down inside, deep in your gut, never mind in your heart, you know we’re good men. Trustworthy men.”

“Maybe it’s me who isn’t good enough for you.”

“Nonsense,” Jack stated, joining them along with Jesse.

“We can talk later in the day. We’ll be here to work on the window and then basement after we catch some sleep. How about noon time, we come on over?” Milton told her.

Nevin watched her eyes as she nodded but looked away. She wasn’t going to be here when his brothers got here.

“You have the key, right?” she asked.

“Aren’t you going to be here? You’re not running off and avoiding us now, Carina,” Jack said firmly.

She shook her head.

“I have an appointment in town and some errands to run.”

“I said I would bring you,” Milton said to her.

“I need to take care of this first. Later in the day you can,” she said and he nodded at her.

“Okay. Let’s get the place locked up and you ready for bed,” Nevin stated.

“I’ll help out with that,” Jesse said and winked at her. Nevin chuckled and Carina lowered her eyes and blushed.

“I think I’ll handle it alone, Jesse.”

“Can’t blame a man for trying. Gonna be hell being away from you tonight,” he admitted with his hands in his pockets, looking over Carina and licking his lips.

“We’ll make some plans to get together this weekend. Okay, Carina?” Nevin said to her. She nodded and he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. One by one they kissed her cheeks and forehead and then went around the house making sure everything was all locked up. As she walked them to her front door he could tell she was hurting. None of them wanted to leave her, but she wasn’t ready for them to stay.

“Goodnight, baby,” Jack said and gave her a wink. The others did the same and Nevin was the last to go.

“Take something for that headache and drink some water so you don’t get dehydrated from vomiting. If you feel sick during the night you call me. You understand? I’ll get here.”

She smiled at him.

“Okay, Doctor.” He raised one of his eyebrows up at her and she chuckled low and looked so damn feminine and sweet it was killing him to leave her.

“Tomorrow, Miss Fay.” He gave a wink and headed to the truck with a heavy heart.

“What do you want to do?” Collin asked Steven. They were at the shooting range, working on their times and preparing for the hunt this weekend. The group was growing bigger, and more men were joining, coming in from other towns now that they were promised the lifestyle of kings.

“What the hell do you think I want to do? I want to find her,” Steven replied and then he placed his ear protection over his ears and clicked off a few shots. When he was done, he looked at Collin. He held his gun firmly. Collin was his best friend, his buddy for years. He finished his session and then removed his headgear.

“She’s out there. We’ll find her.”

“We never should have handled it the way we did. If we were patient, and I waited to slowly involve you, she would be here,” Steven said to him.

Collin squinted his eyes and looked around them to ensure no one was eavesdropping.

“We didn’t have a choice. Anderson had his eyes on her and you know it.”

“He knew she was mine. He knew I was planning on marrying her.”

“Like that stops men like Anderson, Voight, and Bogurt? Come on now, Steven, get your head out of your ass. They run this fucking town, this operation. You should know that. Bogurt’s my damn uncle.”

Steven swallowed hard. He loved Carina more than anything, but this town, his family, this lifestyle owned him. They owned every person they set their eyes on. It was a tradition, a way of life that had been taking place for generations.

“Carina was inexperienced. She adored you, but you knew the rules going into a relationship with Charlie Fay’s daughter. You exposed her to our world, and with that body, that platinum blonde hair and blue eyes, she stood out as a goddess. Why the hell do you think you were getting so much attention for promotion? Those added bonuses to your checks, and the invite to the hunts positioning your seat with the higher ups in the group by my uncle and the others? They were setting you up to bring her in as the jewel.”

“What?” Steven asked, eyes wide and knowing exactly what Collin meant. If Carina was chosen as the jewel, then she would be taken by all three higher ups. She would be taken away from him.

“That’s why it was so important for you to invite me into your relationship with her. Having my father as one of the head leaders, she couldn’t be touched by anyone. She would be ours and we would protect her.”

“We could have waited. Could have slowly gotten her used to your touch.”

“She’s the woman. She’s to be at your, at
our
command. All rights, all positions taken away, and her purpose would be to provide for us in all ways we asked. Do you think the alternative for her would have been better?”

Steven shook his head. The leaders were all big men, older men with little to no respect for women. To their wives, though, they were perfect husbands, but behind the closed doors of the order they were sadistic. The things he saw them do over the years were outrageous. He had his own desires, his own fantasies he wanted Carina to fulfill, but now things were different. Collin was right. They were in this together in order to protect her from worse harm. They were in this so one day they could be leaders, too. There was no getting out and no reason to. He had everything. At least he did when Carina was here in Starling Grove.

“Do you want to still look for her on our own or do you want to take advantage of the order’s offer to assist?”

“Then what? Accept that they get to punish her for taking off while we sit there and watch? She’ll never forgive us, forgive me for any of this.”

Collin gave him a shove.

“You accepted this life, the order. We protected her by claiming her body that night even if it was against her will. If we thought for a moment she would take off, then we would have continued to seal the deal and make her understand her choices. She didn’t let us. She took off, snuck out of here undetected. It’s been months, Steven. Months. I think we should ask the order for help. Accept the penalties. And the time we spend helping Carina heal after the punishments will bring us closer and make her realize we are her destiny and her protectors.”

Steven clenched his teeth and thought about the punishments that would come to Carina from the leaders.

“They’ll beat her, display her at the hunt for all to see.”

“They won’t fuck her. Everything else she will deal with and so will we because in the end she’s ours. These are our lives. This is what we were born into. She’s tougher than we gave her credit for. Whatever battle wounds she winds up with after the punishments will be a reminder of where she belongs and what could happen if she ever decides to take off again.”

“I’m never going to let her go again. You’re going to help me, Collin. We’re bound to her and her to us.”

Collin placed his gun in his holster.

“We’ll kill anyone who stands in our way of getting her back. Call the leaders. Call my uncle and get the help we need in finding Carina so we can move on together.”

“And if she refuses to return?” Steven asked.

Collin smirked.

“You know as well as I do that these men are trained better than any cop or soldier out there. This is part of what they do. They’ll grab her and no one will know a single thing or even where to look to find her.”

“That means we can’t return here to town for a while. We’ll be moved to isolation.”

Collin placed his hand on Steven’s shoulder and squeezed then smiled. “More time alone with our woman to make her understand her place and learn to serve her husbands well.”

* * * *

Carina had a bad night’s sleep. When she heard banging going on outside she didn’t know what was going on. Then she remembered Milton and Jesse saying they were going to replace her window in the kitchen and fix the cabinets under the sink that were destroyed by the water.

She looked over at the clock. Ten a.m. Too freaking early on her day off from work to get up, besides having very little sleep last night. She was embarrassed. She lost it in front of them. Threw up her dinner, had to be held by Nevin in the bathroom on the floor. He stayed with her. Milton and the others, too. Something had to be said for that.

She pulled the pillow over her head and then remembered that they would need to come into the cottage to fix those things, too. If she didn’t get up, she knew they would find a way in. They were resourceful.

Her cell phone buzzed and she pulled the pillow off her head and looked at the text messages. She’d missed a bunch, mostly from Antonia asking what the heck was going on, and that Cesar would be at the office for her appointment at eleven. Apparently the guys must have called him, too, and figured out where she was heading. Then she got the latest message. Hot coffee, from Jesse. How the hell did he get her cell number?

Antonia? Cesar? Ledger, God damn it, did anyone mind their own business around here?

She pulled back the covers and when she got up her head pounded. She grabbed on to it and took slow breaths, hoping the pounding sound would subside.

She stood up and made her way to the bathroom, worrying about her messed up hair, the obvious signs of a night spent crying and tossing and turning. She looked terrible. Carina brushed her teeth, washed her face, and then freshened up best she could but it was obvious she had a bad night despite the hot shower she had taken before going to bed because she couldn’t fall asleep. She threw on a pair of shorts and a tank top, then her sneakers.