Trusting Love (4 page)

She started to wiggle off the examining table as she pressed Nevin’s hand away.

He gripped her hips and she gasped, feeling worse than right after the accident. He towered over her. His hands were so large and capable, his muscles hard and his resourcefulness apparent. She was battered and bruised. It reminded her of when she was assaulted. The pain went on for days. How easily she imagined Nevin or Jack striking her like Steven and Collin had. She winced and tried pushing past him when her leg hit the table.

“Carina, hold on, honey. You’ll hurt yourself.”

She shoved his hands off her hips.

“No, I won’t, Dr. Cortland.” She referred to him by his last name on purpose.

She buttoned her blouse with shaking fingers.

“Carina, I want to be sure that you’re okay,” Jack said, brushing her hair from her shoulder and cheek, placing it away from her face so he could look down into her eyes.

She shivered with a mix of arousal and trepidation. He was tall, six feet plus, with muscles and abilities that only made her think of the bad he could do instead of any good. Same with Nevin. For a doctor, he was fit, sexy, very soft-spoken and calm. Was it pretend? Could he be hiding the real personality? Steven and Collin were kind, too, but quickly turned violent when she refused to give them what they wanted.

Jack held her gaze, caressed near the very bruised cheek bone that was throbbing right now. Her lips parted and he stared at them, looking like he would take what he wanted. He was older, more than likely used to seducing women, casting a spell with all his perfect qualities. She looked at his uniform. The badge, the tight, crisp dress shirt, holstered gun, handcuffs. Just like Steven and Collin, he probably had women begging to be his next lover. She felt the tears hit her eyes
. I’ve been down this road before, and I’m still running. He isn’t right for me. None of them are.

She stepped to the side and cringed from the move but held her ground. She continued to button the last two buttons on her blouse.

“Carina, do we scare you?” Nevin asked and she looked up to see them both staring at her. Jack’s eyes were squinted like he already knew she would lie. It made her gut clench with guilt. She had to be smart, though.

“Let me make something perfectly clear. I’m not your responsibility, or your concern. My injuries are bruises. Things could have been worse but they aren’t. Please, just leave me alone. I’ll be fine.”

She walked over to take her purse, hiding her discomfort.

“Carina, you are our concern and our responsibility. Whether you’re ready to accept it or not,” Jack said to her firmly.

She was shocked by his tone and the way he stood there resting one hand on the butt of his gun and the other on his hip, staring at her. It was like he was reading into her response to them. She needed to be more careful.

She gave a soft smile that had him easing his hands off his hips and looking caught off guard.

“I can assure you that I don’t need looking after. I take care of myself. I do, however, appreciate the care and concern. Thank you, Dr. Cortland.” She touched his hand and then quickly pulled away. Now Nevin was squinting at her.

She looked back toward Jack.

“I’ll need a ride home,” she said to him.

Jack stepped closer and placed his hand on her hip and pulled her close.

“I’m not leaving your side for a while. Until we know who tried hurting you.” He caressed her cheek and gripped her chin. She stared up into his eyes, wishing she wasn’t attracted to him. Knowing she needed to resist him and his brothers, yet yearning for happiness, for exactly what Antonia had with her men despite her past.

He caressed her lower lip and began to press closer to her lips.

“You feel it. We all do,” he said, and as she fought with whether or not to let him kiss her, and how badly she wanted to feel his lips against hers, Jack’s cell phone rang. He answered it, stepping aside, releasing her. Then he squinted his eyes and then widened them. He looked away from Carina and walked toward the door.

“Are you certain? What do you need from me? Yes, definitely. We’ll take care of her. I will, and then I’ll meet the others.”

He turned toward her.

“Change of plans. Antonia is in trouble. Cesar said her ex showed up and took her. You need to be in a safe place.”

She covered her mouth and gasped.

“Oh, God, no.” She closed her eyes and immediately thought of what Antonia had told her about her ex, and what she shared with Antonia about Steven and Collin. She wasn’t safe, neither was Carina. This validated her need to stay strong and not give in to temptation with the Cortland men. She could never have happiness, could never be safe in any man’s arms. Not with Steven and Collin out there and more than likely looking for her to continue their plans of controlling her and making her their permanent woman, their possession.

Carina opened her eyes and exhaled, trying to catch her breath. Her chest felt tight with that panicked, uncertain feeling she got whenever she awoke from a bad dream. This hadn’t been completely bad. No, it seemed after the past few weeks her mind wouldn’t let go of that night with Jack and Nevin and their care for her. Avoiding them, and even Jesse and Milton, was difficult to say the least.

She ran her fingers through her hair and felt the tightness of her breasts, how hard her nipples felt, and she thought of them. She rubbed her face with her hands, feeling the tears she must have shed in her sleep. They were getting worse. Her longing to feel what it would be like to be held by one of the brothers was getting more powerful. Despite their intimidating personas, there was still that gut instinct that called to them. It was like deep down she knew she would be safe with Jesse, Jack, Nevin, and Milton, yet she knew she could never have a normal life. She was scarred deeply.

No amount of reassurance from a man’s arms, from his kisses, from his possessive ways would take away the trouble she was still running from. It wasn’t fair. It sucked. It pissed her off that Steven and Collin controlled her from a distance. That was exactly what she was allowing.

She couldn’t confide in them. She was raped, assaulted, used by her own boyfriend, and attacked in her bedroom. To keep them from hurting her further or breaking any bones, she had to cooperate. She closed her eyes and willed the memories away. Their hands gripping, pulling, scratching her body. How heavy Collin was lying over her, forcing her legs apart and taking from her body without her consent. They were over six feet tall. She was five-foot-four. They were two hundred pounds. She was maybe a hundred and ten.

It wasn’t fair. She was the victim, yet here she was having sleepless nights, feeling like trash and like no man would ever want her. That’s because Collin told her that. He said they owned her. That she was their possession and would be their lover, their wife, and the bearer of their children. God damn them!

She banged her fists and then closed her eyes and tried to calm her breathing, but her thoughts were out of control.

Steven liked her petite, thin, and he enjoyed lifting her up or grabbing her with one arm around the waist and pulling her close. She had loved the feel of his arms, the way he whispered to her when they made love and how he complimented her body. She worked out hard to maintain her figure. She had been the perfect girlfriend, would have been the perfect fiancée and eventually wife. So why hadn’t she gotten any vibes from Steven that he wanted to share her with Collin? She even told him she didn’t like Collin or feel comfortable around him.

She shook her head. She had been over it a thousand plus times. It wasn’t her. She hadn’t done anything wrong. They did. They were the monsters. They were the ones to hurt her and make her continue to live in fear and have nightmares every night. Something had to change. She needed to gain control of reality here. She had to stay clear of Jack, Jesse, Nevin, and Milton. Perhaps Antonia was right. Maybe she should confide in Cesar about the past so he knew what was going on and what her fears were. He would have to promise not to tell Jack and his brothers. Or maybe he should tell them so they would leave her alone. They wouldn’t want a woman who was raped by two men. A woman so stupid and weak she couldn’t fight back.

Milton especially seemed intolerant of the weak. That deep, dark look he always had in his eyes warned others to stay clear of him. He had muscles over muscles. Tattoos along his chest and shoulder and that long hair pulled back in a hair tie made him look wild. It was like that expression the famous wrestler, the Undertaker, would have. She shivered just thinking about it.

What that man could do to her with one hand, never mind two. Tears filled her eyes. She wasn’t normal. She didn’t come from a normal life. She couldn’t even call her grandmother and cousin to check on them. She couldn’t risk the calls being traced, knowing Steven’s and Collin’s capabilities as cops and as soldiers.

She wouldn’t survive another attack by them. She couldn’t pretend she wasn’t afraid and that they weren’t looking for her. If they showed up and took her, she wouldn’t make it this time.

The tears stung her eyes as she thought about Jack and his brothers and how they would protect her. She was stupid. She wouldn’t put them in the middle of a sick, corrupted situation. No, she needed to be smart. Cesar would ask her about the car being unregistered and uninsured by her. When Antonia registered it in her name, he would have further questions and Carina would be forced to lie more.

She couldn’t do that. These were good people, honest, strong men, and they had a right to the truth. She needed to get back to the dojo and train. She was more than ready for those self-defense courses that Leif and Mateo taught with Milton. She would request them instead of Milton and she would continue to ignore the Cortland men.

“Anything?” Jesse asked Milton over the phone.

“She didn’t show up at the dojo today. I know the bruises are all healed. Hell, even Antonia is talking to Damon about returning to the dojo for training.”

“She’s not working tomorrow. I may ask her if she wants to go out to lunch or something.”

“Yeah, good luck with that, Jesse. Like Jack said, she’s blowing him off, keeping her distance, and not even looking him in the eyes. The moment that call came into Nevin’s office that Antonia’s ex had taken Antonia, Carina’s whole demeanor changed. It just leads to more questions about her past. We don’t even know where she lived before Repose.”

“She isn’t going to tell us anything. To top it off, even Antonia is giving me sympathetic looks. Carina has been spending time with Antonia, too. Plus I heard that Carina still doesn’t have her car back.”

“Why not? It should be fixed up by now.”

“I don’t know, something about insurance and registration. I’ll ask Jack.”

“I’d better get going. I’m heading to the dojo now. Talk to you at home later,” Milton said.

“Later, bro.” Jesse hung up the phone.

He leaned back in his chair by the bar in the Filling Station and watched Carina. The woman was so beautiful he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. No matter where she was in the room, he could find her, spot her from the rest of the crowd. Of course, her platinum blonde hair stood out as well as her sexy figure. She was thin, petite, and well-endowed. Her dark blue eyes and full, plump lips drew attention to her face. What got him the most were the looks of fear, the apprehension mixed with desire he saw in her eyes. She was feeling the attraction to him and his brothers but something was keeping her back.

Nevin saw her yesterday and nearly lost his cool as he rambled on about all the possible things that could have happened to Carina that she wasn’t sharing. Was she in danger? Is that why she closed up and blew them off after what happened to Antonia and her ex-boyfriend? Could Carina have an ex who hurt her and wanted her back? Maybe that’s why she mentioned not remaining in Repose? What the hell was she so afraid of?

Could she be afraid that they could hurt her? The thought wasn’t so far-fetched. He and his brothers, including Nevin, despite being a doctor, were hard core, big men. Jack and Nevin did have more calming tones of voices. Milton could be pretty intimidating. Between all the tattoos, large muscles, shoulder length hair he kept pulled back and those dark eyes, yeah, his brother appeared mean. Hell, even Jack, though he had shown Carina nothing but kindness, had an edgy sort of look. Slicked back black hair, dark eyes, and that
Terminator
expression in his eyes and face he had most of the time. Jesse knew it was from being a soldier and from being a cop. He had to intimidate potential criminals and suspects. Even the basic pull over of a vehicle could result in a more serious situation.

Milton and Jack lived for that stuff. They liked keeping their edge, staying guarded and ready for action. That would never change. Jesse noticed that when Milton, Jack, and Nevin spoke of Carina, they did so with such respect and desire.

Jesse glanced toward Carina just as she was heading by him.

“Hey, Carina,” he said, turning in his seat to face her and half sitting on the edge, ready to grab her hand if need be to get her to talk with him a few moments. The desperate notion had him squeezing his beer bottle and licking his lower lip.

She looked sexy as usual in the short shorts and tight black T-shirt that hid her well-endowed chest somewhat. His brothers Nevin and Jack told him and Milton about her body and seeing her large breasts, trim belly, and the belly ring she wore.