Trusting Love (8 page)

“You don’t trust us?” Milton barked at her.

“I don’t know you.”

“That’s bullshit. You know enough just from that kiss we all just shared,” Jesse stated.

The sound of the pump gurgling echoed in the room, indicating the last bit of water was draining.

“I’ll go turn it off,” Milton said in an annoyed tone.

“We want to be here for you. We can protect you better than any man out there. We’re trained soldiers, Jack is law enforcement. You should feel safest with us than anyone. How could you not feel safe with us?” Nevin explained and she licked her lower lip then reached up and cupped his cheek.

“So were they.” She stepped away from him.

Jack grabbed her wrist and hand, stopping her. “They?” he asked with clenched teeth.

“No more questions. Let’s finish up so you all can get home and get back to your own lives and responsibilities.”

She reached for the broom and started heading down the stairs to the basement for another round of sweeping the last bit of water into buckets to then pour outside. Her heart felt heavy, her head ached, and tears filled her eyes. Their kisses were the most amazing thing she’d ever experienced, but she couldn’t give in to those desires. Not when men like Steven and Collin could be looking for her to take her back home and make her theirs forever.

* * * *

Nevin looked at Jesse and Jack. He could see how pissed off and concerned they were.

“What the fuck has been going on? She feels the attraction. Hell, she wants us like we want her,” Jesse stated in frustration.

“She’s obviously being cautious. Perhaps she just fears these guys, whoever they are, may still be looking for her and maybe she took off to be safe. We can’t sit here and assume the worst or make accusations. Focus on what she said. That she is going to speak with Cesar and trusts him. He’s the chief of police, and he runs this town.”

“She’s our responsibility, Nevin. If she tells him what’s going on and he feels she may be in danger even slightly, then as her guardians, we’ll be assigned fuller access to her,” Jack said to Nevin.

“She doesn’t know that.”

“I wish we knew more,” Jesse said, looking toward the stairs that led to the basement.

“I can tell you that her car was registered under Lucy Benning, an eighty-year-old woman in Missouri,” Jack whispered.

“Carina’s last name is Fay,” Nevin said.

“So she said,” Jack replied.

“You think she’s lying about her last name?” Jesse asked.

“If she is running from trouble then it would be a smart thing to do. No way to track her if she isn’t going under her real name,” Jack stated.

“Did you and Cesar look up the Benning woman?” Nevin asked.

Jack shook his head. “We were going to, but then both Cesar and I had a feeling, especially after the night of the accident, that Carina was on the run. She didn’t want to go to the emergency room, and her whole demeanor changed with Nevin and me. Yesterday we looked up the woman to see who she was. Benning is the maiden name, but her married name is Fay.”

“So it’s her grandmother? She set her up for the insurance and registration, maybe to help protect Carina?” Nevin asked.

“Looks that way to us,” Jack said and glanced toward the stairs.

“I’m glad Cesar asked that I hold off from digging any further. He said he overheard a conversation between Antonia and Carina about Antonia registering the car under her name and getting insurance et cetera for Carina,” Jack added.

“Shit,” Jesse replied and ran his fingers through his hair and looked toward the basement stairs.

“She wouldn’t go to the hospital after the accident and she told me she didn’t have insurance so if she could pay cash for the visit. Of course I told her I wasn’t going to charge her, it was no big deal,” Nevin said.

“The computer system. It’s public and whoever is looking for her could find out easily.”

“What do we do? I want to protect her if she’s in danger. How the fuck are we supposed to leave her alone?” Jesse asked.

“We need to give Cesar some time to work on things. I’ll update him on what we know. Carina will see him tomorrow. It’s her day off,” Jack told them.

* * * *

Milton finished sweeping up the mud and dirt to the corner where Carina lowered the dust pan and he swept the contents into it. They’d worked side by side for hours today, but her explanation for refusing an attraction between them pissed him off. He leaned on the broomstick.

“Are you taking the self-defense classes and kickboxing for protection?” he asked her.

She sighed, looking up at him as she squatted down and then lifted the dust pan to pour the contents into a garbage bin.

“Does it matter?”

“Yes.”

“No, it doesn’t. It’s probably a waste of time anyway,” she said and stood up. She started to walk away and he grabbed her arm, stopping her. She looked way up at him.

“It’s not a waste of time. If you really want to learn to protect yourself then the best thing to do is to be prepared. To make a plan of action, and to let others know what to look out for. That’s being smart and prepared.”

“They’re bigger than you are, so handling them one-on-one is not an option unless it’s a surprise attack. Number two, no need to make anyone aware of my plan, because the first indication of trouble I get, I’m out of here, like as fast as I can leave.”

His temper flared. Holy shit, she had been hiding this fear and it was worse than she was letting on. Worse than what he just pushed for and gotten some answers on. He pulled her closer.

“You would leave all this? Repose? Your friends, your job, a community that has supported you and will continue to support you? You’d leave us, after that kiss?” he pushed.

“Stop doing this to me. Stop trying to break down my defenses and make me tell you things I don’t want to share. I can’t fight this. I can’t. It’s inevitable. I should have moved on months ago. I never should have gotten attached to anyone and especially not you and your brothers.”

He took her arms, pulled them around his waist, and then wrapped her up in his arms. He held her close and she was lost in his embrace. He wanted to protect her, to love her, to feel her this close all the time.

“I’m not ready to let you go. Not when I feel like we’ve just started.”

He ran his palms along her arm and her back then lower. When he felt her arms hug him back he exhaled.

Milton struggled to express his feelings. He wasn’t the mushy, emotional type. In fact, he was the complete opposite. Silent, brooding, stuck in his own thoughts—yet something told him Carina needed his support and encouragement. She was scared, and she felt feminine and vulnerable right now. That protectiveness he’d felt for her from the start was growing stronger.

“What if I told you that you didn’t need to be scared anymore? That I could take all your fears away and end this situation once and for all.”

“I would say you’re crazy and that it wasn’t possible,” she mumbled against his chest, her warm breath teasing his body, making him imagine her naked and in his arms in his bed.

“I’m a soldier, baby, Special Forces, don’t you know what we’re capable of?” he asked and smirked against the top of her head.

“I know all too well what men like you, soldiers, are capable of. Cops, too.”

It felt like a sucker punch to his gut.

He pulled back and cupped her cheeks.

His eyes widened. “He’s a soldier? A cop? The one who hurt you?”

She looked at his lips and he stared at her mouth and then her eyes.

“Both of them are. Both of them hurt me and had no right to do so. They’re capable, they’re determined, and they have help. I won’t lie to you, Milton. I’m scared and I’m untrusting and it’s just the way it is and it doesn’t matter what you say, or what you and your brothers promise. So I’m sorry, Milton, but right now I can’t trust anyone. I can’t let my guard down and pretend that everything will be perfect and I’m certainly not going to place you, your brothers, or anyone else I care about into potential danger.”

She pulled back and he went to stop her but was still shocked by her words. Two men hurt her. Two soldiers, cops? What the fuck? She headed toward the stairs. He followed. He couldn’t end this conversation this way. She was two steps up and he stopped her, took her hand, and turned her around. Now she was at his height, face-to-face. He cupped her cheeks and stared into her eyes and saw the fear, the mixed emotions.

“Not all cops and soldiers are bad or mean you harm. I know you don’t really know me. I keep to myself, maybe seem hard, but I’m loyal, I’m faithful, and when I make a promise, I damn well keep it no matter what.” She closed her eyes and tried to shake her head. “No, you hear me out, Carina. You put aside that fear a moment, that stubbornness, and you listen to me.” She stared at him, seeming shocked—or maybe his firmness just scared her more—but he would be damned if he was going to lose the chance at something amazing with this woman.

“I’m not letting you walk away from me, from my brothers. This is real, we’re good men and we care about you, hell, we want you. We’re ready to fight for you just like we’ve had to fight for just about everything else in our lives. I’ve been through wars, through missions, and situations you know nothing about, nor ever need to be discussed. I should be dead right now, numerous times over, but for some damn reason, someone was looking out for me. Day in and day out since returning and retiring from the service, I wondered why. Why am I still here? Will I ever feel happy, feel complete, feel whole like a man should be? Don’t be scared when I tell you this, Carina, but you make me feel things. Things I am not willing to just give up on and let go of because you say you’re scared and you’re in some sort of trouble. Others may have failed you, baby, but not this soldier. Not this man, hell, not us Cortlands.”

He saw the tear roll down her cheek and her eyes glaze over.

“Take a chance, baby. Take a chance because this is real, anything else before this was just the hell you went through, the battle wounds you have that got you here with my brothers and me.”

He leaned his lips closer to hers and right before they touched she closed her eyes and his heart soared with relief. He pressed his lips to hers and kissed her deeply.

* * * *

As soon as she reached the living room, she saw the others standing there by the counter, unwrapping food that Nevin brought. She didn’t want to eat with them. She didn’t want to be close to them and be tempted to feel their lips against hers, taking all the bad thoughts and memories away like Milton just did. It was foolish to get drawn in by them and their capabilities. To pull them into her fucked up life and fears. When they found out two men forced themselves on her, then what?

She was broken in a lot of ways but felt like she was beginning to gain a fight in her to survive and to move on. But that didn’t mean she was ready to accept men in her life. She was shocked at how easily she let down her guard around them, let them kiss her, but that was foolish, stupid, and reckless. These men were a force ten times more demanding, intense, determined than Steven and Collin were. Individually, they were a force to reckon with. Together, she wouldn’t stand a chance.

She stopped where she was and exhaled.

“Come have something to eat. We’ve all been going non-stop for hours,” Jack said to her in that tone of his. All cop. Giving orders, staring at her and then his brother Milton behind her.

“Is that an order?” she replied and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Jack’s eyes squinted but remained firm.

“You need it to be an order to get you to eat something so you won’t pass out?” he challenged.

This was useless. She gave up too much information. They weren’t going to accept it and move on. They wanted more. Men always wanted more, and if she denied them, then they took it. She thought about that night in her bedroom in the apartment. Tears stung her eyes as she recalled the first sounds and then the first strike.

When hands landed on her shoulders, she gasped and shoved away from Milton.

“Whoa, slow down, honey. Easy now,” Nevin said, walking closer. She shook her head.

“I can’t do this. Leave. Take the food and leave,” she said.

“No,” Jesse whispered. She shot a mean look.

“Sit down and eat something. You have to be starving. I heard your stomach rumbling earlier,” Nevin said to her in that calming tone of his.

She was hungry, and tired, too. She wouldn’t talk to them any more about her past. If they tried, she would ignore them. She just needed to get through this time with them. Nothing else was going to happen tonight. Nothing.

She walked toward the food, took some salad and a piece of grilled chicken, and then sat away from them. They watched her and she felt exposed, vulnerable. Would they force themselves on her? The tears stung her eyes and her nose clogged up. Of course they wouldn’t. They weren’t Steven and Collin. They weren’t. She tried to eat but her mind had a way of its own. She looked at each of them. So big, so strong and capable. Cops, soldiers, experienced men with such large hands and even larger personalities. It felt good in Milton’s arms. So badly she wanted to believe his words and promises of protection and safety.