Twisted (2 page)

My first night at Remy’s I had stared at that picture. Me, the misfit of the group with my wild hair, chubby cheeks, smattering of freckles and a mouthful of metal. Olivia was the tallest with golden blond hair and sapphire eyes. She was serious and smart and undoubtedly the pretty one, even at eleven. Hailey was the quirky one. She was always so cute in her own goofy way. Her hair was a whiter blond than Olivia’s and her eyes a much lighter blue. She had been silly and fun, always the one to make us laugh. Like me, she was shorter than most of the other girls in our grade.

I hadn’t called them since moving back. I had meant to but the last few weeks had just slipped away, as time often does. These girls were strangers to me now. I didn’t know how to talk to them. I was unsure of what to say. The school year would be starting next week. I didn’t feel like answering anyone’s questions any sooner than I had to. Besides, despite the hurried and unexpected move back to the town I’d spent my first eleven years in, I was enjoying my time alone with Remy. It was peaceful and relaxing to not have to look out for anyone but myself for a change.

My headache was subsiding so I decided to get started on dinner. As far as I was concerned, Remy’s eating was all messed up. She’d eat left over enchiladas when she got home around seven thirty in the morning but was hungry for breakfast when she got up around my dinner time, a side-effect of having no seniority and being stuck on the nightshift at the hospital.

I pulled out a loaf of French bread and the other ingredients needed to prepare some blueberry stuffed French toast.

Remy had come to get me at a moment’s notice, signing the papers to be my legal guardian as soon as they were written up. Best of all, she seemed genuinely happy to have me living with her. But I still felt I owed her a lot and I was more than willing to do my share to help her out. She was only twenty-four and taking in her teenage sister had to be a burden, even if she would never admit it. At the very least, I was wrinkling up her neatly ordered life a bit.

She was trying to take her new role as my guardian seriously. She hadn’t had her boyfriend, Jeff, spend the night once since my arrival. Granted, she worked the nightshift five nights a week but that still left some nights free. I was pretty sure this was a new development because while putting away her laundry I discovered he had his own dresser drawer. Yet, I’d only ever met him over a handful of dinners. I was hoping that would change soon, for her sake. I didn’t want to cause problems or change her life too drastically. I was happy just to have some sister time and a safe place to stay.

As I pulled out a mixing bowl I noticed the book on the counter. I pulled out the makeshift bookmark and held the place with my finger. The receipt was from Speedy Joe’s. It was a gas station close to the park. I had passed it on my bike ride. He had purchased two deli sandwiches, a small bag of Doritos, a Snickers
and
Butterfinger, a bottle of lemon flavored iced tea and a bottle of water. The date was from two days ago. All it told me was that the boy could eat. Not exactly compelling information and utterly useless in solving the mystery of who he was.

The book, on the other hand, I hoped was the key. It was a library book and therefore it had to be checked out. By him. I was feeling stiff and sore and venturing out of the house right then held no appeal. I would do it in the morning.

I pictured his face again. He knew my last name. I must have known him at one time. Realizing this only made me want to find out who he was even more.  I wondered if he had been intentionally distant or if I had just left him flustered by our unfortunate meeting. I supposed it had to be a bit unsettling to see someone hit by a car and then practically peeling them off the road only to find out it was someone you knew from years ago.

It had been six years since Mom packed us up and made me move for the first time. It was only months after the accident. The first accident. The one that changed our lives forever.

The library looked and smelled the same as it had six years ago. I marched through the double doors with the thick book snuggled into the crook of my arm. I had spent the evening searching through my mental rolodex. The information retained of my old life was pitifully scant. I pulled up a few faces and a few names but I wasn’t even sure if the faces and the names matched up. And honestly, an eleven year old boy probably looks a whole lot different six years later.

It startled me that
I
was recognizable. I’d looked like I was still carrying around some baby fat at eleven. Life hadn’t been easy since then and I’d taken up running to burn off my excess nervous energy. That equaled a whole lot of running. Like the baby fat, my braces had come off within a year. My freckled face was thinner and I had finally “blossomed” as Remy so delicately put it. My light green eyes maybe showed a little more history than most other girls my age. I’d stopped cutting my hair and let my mess of carroty frizz grow out. I found the longer it became, the easier the curls were to manage. Now, having deepened to a decent dark bronze color, it hung halfway down my back in a wavy mass of carefully maintained ringlets. The only thing that hadn’t changed much was my height. It looked like I’d spend the rest of my days at just a smidge under five foot two.

Then again maybe he hadn’t recognized
me.
Maybe it was my name that clicked in his head. I had been the only Maya in school.

The lady at the counter, “Robyn” per her nametag, smiled as I crossed the lobby. I slid the book over to her. She looked like she was Remy’s age, mid-twenties maybe. But with her straight dirty-blond hair and pale brown eyes she was a lot plainer than my sister.

She had seen me walk in with the book. “That one looks like it would take a while to read. Do you need to renew it?” she asked. She was eyeing up the makeshift bookmark that peeked out the top.

“No, I was actually wondering if you could tell me who it’s checked out to right now.” My feet were doing a nervous little dance behind the counter.

She frowned in her confusion. “Excuse me?”

“I found the book. Well, I mean, the guy who checked it out helped me. When he helped me, he dropped the book. I never got his name but I’d like to thank him…for helping me,” I explained. I hoped my jumble of words made some sense.

The look on her face told me she wasn’t following. I sighed and held up the scrape on my elbow. The ones on my knees were hidden behind the counter. “I got hit by a car and fell off my bike. He stopped to help me and when he did, he dropped the book. I never got his name but I’d like to thank him.”

Her lips turned upward into a smile. “That’s really sweet.” She scanned the barcode and a portly lady with tight silver curls slid the book out from under her. “Bernice” her nametag read.

“I’m sorry,” Bernice began as she gave Robyn a biting look. “It’s our policy not to give out that kind of information.”

“But-” I stammered. I backed up to show her my knees. “I was in an accident. I even got knocked out and he pulled me off the road.” Was I actually admitting this? I hadn’t wanted to say a word about the embarrassing accident and here I was exploiting it.

Robyn nudged Bernice and pointed to the screen.

Bernice’s eyes scanned over the name. “That doesn’t matter,” she muttered under her breath. “It’s a matter of confidentiality.”

I wasn’t sure at that point if she was speaking to me or Robyn.

I would have swiped the book out of her hands and dashed out of the doors with it. But she stood back and I couldn’t reach it. She eyeballed me like she knew exactly what I was thinking. She took another step back, holding the book protectively to her chest.

“Can you at least call him and let him know it’s here?” I asked. I pointed at the ragged receipt that was his makeshift bookmark. “He’s not done reading it yet. He should be able to get it back.”

“He can check it out again,” she curtly assured me.

“What if someone else checks it out first? He’s in the
middle
of it!” I stressed. I was unsure of exactly why I was making such a big deal out of this.

The younger woman plucked it from the cranky lady’s grip. “I’ll just set it off to the side for him,” she said brightly. Almost too brightly as she gave the older lady a perfect smile. “He comes in several times a week,” she looked pointedly at Bernice. “We don’t expect him today. But he should be here tomorrow. If I had to guess, I would say four o’clock.”

I blinked in surprise and Bernice gave Robyn a tight lipped glare.

“Well, okay then,” I said. I smiled as I absorbed the information. “Thank you very much
Robyn
,” I stressed, not bothering to look at Bernice at all. “That’s very kind of you. I really appreciate your help. And I really appreciate you seeing to it that he gets his book back.”

I practically skipped out of the library. I burst out of the doors and took a moment to take in the sunshine. It was a beautiful day. School was going to be starting soon. I knew I should make the most of the last of summer vacation. I had plans with Remy to go to Gino’s for pizza this evening but nothing for the rest of the afternoon.

I snatched the rubber band off of my wrist and knotted my hair up tight. I walked over to the side of the library to do a few discreet stretches on the lawn. My scrapes didn’t feel nearly as bad today. I was anxious to keep up with my routine of running. I finished stretching and I took off.

I wasn’t surprised to find myself on the paved path that ran along the river’s edge. It was a beautiful place to run. Running helped to clear my head or helped me think, depending on my mood. When I was a kid Mom and Dad would take Remy, Trey and me for strolls along the river. And picnics. We’d had countless picnics on the river’s edge. That was when things were normal. That was when our family had been complete.

Last night at dinner after explaining my banged up body parts and a detailed account of my mysterious rescuer, Remy had urged me again to call Hailey and Olivia. I told her I wasn’t ready and I was pretty sure she understood why. I wanted to get through a few more days without explaining how I’d come to live with Remy for my senior year. Well at least the “why” we’d come up with for public knowledge. As much as I hated to lie, I hated the truth more. Over the years I’d come up with my own truth out of necessity.

As my feet tromped along I was already thinking about tomorrow. I couldn’t explain to myself why his identity was eating away at me. Other than to say if he knew me, I must’ve known him at some point. Or maybe it was easier to obsess about him than to obsess about the rest of my life. An essential escape mechanism that I’d developed years ago.

That’s when I found him. Just…like…that. I was jogging along the paved path high up the river bank. I saw a guy, leaning against the trunk of a pine tree, protected by a canopy of needle covered branches, reading a book.

If it weren’t for the red backpack I wouldn’t have been so sure it was him. He was on the other side of the bank near where I’d been hit yesterday. The nearest bridge was nearly a quarter mile up ahead. Then I’d have to backtrack. My heart suddenly skittered now that I’d found him by mistake. Maybe approaching him wasn’t a good idea. I kept my feet moving as I decided what to do.

The book. I had a valid reason for approaching him. And really, after a few minutes thought, it was more logical to approach him here as opposed to the library. If I waited until then it would be obvious that I was hunting him down. Who wants to feel like a stalker?

I thought it over. And then I thought it over again. I wondered why I was making such a big deal out of telling someone ‘thank you’. Because really, that’s all I wanted to do, right?
Right
, I agreed.

I stopped several yards away from him. I allowed myself to catch my breath and let my heart settle back into place. It seemed like more than just the run had gotten it pumping a little too quickly. I shuffled my feet and hesitated. I finally took a deep breath and marched across the strip of grass that separated the path from where he sat, propped against the tree.

He hadn’t heard me approach. I stood a few feet away from him, not wanting to startle him. I fidgeted a bit before clearing my throat.

“Um, hi,” I said after what felt like hours of shifting from one foot to the other.

His eyes swung from his book to me. “Hey,” he finally replied.

“What are you reading?” I asked. As if it was any of my business.

He held the cover up to me. His finger held his place about half of the way through.

“You must be a fast reader,” I commented.

His head was tilted to the side. He was checking me out again in a way I couldn’t quite put my finger on. His eyes stopped on my scabbed up knees. Then they hurried back to my face.

“Why would you say that?” he asked.             

“I found your book yesterday. You must’ve dropped it. I noticed your marker in it. It’s a really thick book and you were near the end. And now this one, it looks like you’ve read a lot. So, uh, I guess I just assumed you must have just started that one. It looks like you’re already pretty far into it.” Was I rambling? I thought I was.

He nodded. “You found my book?” He looked around, seemingly uncomfortable.

“I did.”

“So do you have it?”

“Your book?” I asked, realizing immediately that it was a redundant question. What else would it be? “No, I don’t.”

His eyebrows lifted slightly.

“I mean I did. But I returned it. It’s at the library,” I clarified. “I didn’t want you to get charged for it or get a late fee or anything.” Did libraries even charge late fees? I didn’t know. I’d only paid late fees on movie rentals. Maybe I needed to read a little more. “They’re holding it for you,” I said, trudging ahead. “At the counter. At the library. I asked them to. Since, you know, you weren’t done with it.”

His eyes darted past me again, scanning the area. Maybe he was wondering if anyone was going to catch him talking to this blabbering idiot with scabs on her knees and banged up elbows. Maybe he was hoping he’d see someone he knew that could come rescue him. Or maybe he was meeting someone and looking for her. Maybe she was the jealous type who would be mad if she saw some girl hanging around for no reason.

“Thanks,” he finally replied.

“They said you come in a lot,” I continued to ramble. “The younger lady...” Her name had already escaped my feeble mind.

“Robyn.”

“Right, Robyn.” I realized he must go in a lot if he was on a first name basis with the librarians. “She said that you would probably be in at four tomorrow so she set it aside.”

“She told you I would be in at four?” he asked suspiciously.

I felt my face flush. “Well, she didn’t exactly volunteer the information. I told her I was looking for you. To thank you and to return your book and the other lady...”

“Bernice.”

“Yeah, her. She said they couldn’t tell me anything. But then Robyn looked at the computer and recognized your name. Bernice took the book and wouldn’t give it back.” His lips twitched at the thought. “So I asked them to hold it for you. Robyn said she would.”

“Thanks. I’ll get it tomorrow.”

“So you do plan on going at four o’clock to get more books?” What had happened to my mouth? It seemed to have a mind all its own.

“That’s part of it.”

I scrunched up my eyebrows. “Part of it?” This was completely not my business.

He nodded. “I work at the library,” he added reluctantly. “Just part-time.”

“Oh!” I exclaimed. That little bit of information made everything so much clearer.

His eyes were stuck to my knees again, making me feel more self-conscious than I did when other guys stared at my chest. He said nothing. I knew that was probably a hint for me to go away. I didn’t want to do that yet.

I saw him raise his eyebrows slightly when he finally shifted his gaze briefly back to my face. I felt compelled to keep talking. “I was going to show up at the library so I could thank you tomorrow. But I saw you now...So thanks.”

“No problem.”

I was telling myself now would be a good time to leave but my mouth still didn’t agree. My feet weren’t listening either.

“So do you come here often?” Did that just sound as lame as I thought it did? Probably. Definitely. “I mean to read?” I rushed to add.

He nodded, sighed and looked around once more.

There were few people at this end of the park. The picnic areas and the playground were closer to the middle. From here, you could hear the river gurgling and churning along. “It’s really peaceful,” I observed.

“Usually,” he said, his fingers tapping lightly on his book. I realized he must want to get back to it. My disturbance was anything but peaceful.

“Okay, well…” I started, not sure where I was going with it. I wished I could blame my stammering to the bump on my head. “What’s your name?” I blurted out, utterly derailing us both by switching tracks.

He looked at me hesitantly. I wondered for a moment if he wasn’t going to tell me.

“Ben,” he finally said.

I looked at him for nearly a full minute while pulling out the mental rolodex once more. “Ben McCaffey.” It finally came to me. I felt a smile tug at my lips. We
had
gone to school together. He’d be a senior now too.