Two Weeks With a SEAL (The Wakefield Romance Series) (18 page)

I was in a sense of
shock. Not only from the altercation with Holly, or Chad's fighting with Duke,
but from the gloom that had settled in my heart for that split second before I
had started to sob. I was going to have to let my heart walk away in a few
days, the heart that I had my arm around his waist at this very moment and I
had no idea whether or not he was going to come back.

But that was part of
having a military man in your life, right?

This man of mine. This
SEAL of mine.

As the water splashed
around my face, burning into the slight cut above my lip, I locked this thought
in my head: My man was going to try his hardest to get home, just like he was
trying his hardest to protect me from the prick that was Duke Orr.

He was a strong man, a
tough man and a rowdy redneck. And he was all mine.

January 26, 2012

It was only four in the
morning and we had just gotten home from Harlan's about three hours ago, but I
couldn't sleep. We had showered and gone to bed, Chad falling fast asleep, but
I had tossed and turned so I had reserved to get up and sit on the bay window
bench that I still occupy. The street is dead like always accept for the stray
cat that roams around, his orange and white fur standing out against the
darkness, slinking under a car down the way. My head is pounding from all of
the hair pulling that Holly had put me through and putting my fingers up to the
corner of my lip I run them over the butterfly bandage, the smooth plastic
keeping the small cut closed.

We were both probably
going to have a couple of bruises when the sun comes up. Chad's being under his
right eye and me on my lip and probably my chin, but I could care less about
that right now. I wished that Holly would show up right now so I could pound
the shit out of her without worrying about keeping Chad from killing Duke.

I let my head settle
back against the window frame with a mild thud, my eyes closing with all of the
emotion of the night running through me, my arms encircling my chest to hug
myself. Chad had confessed that he would've killed Duke if Harlan hadn't
stopped him, and it had made me tremble.

Duke had done this on
purpose. He had riled Chad up, begging for a fight. My fists clench into my
flannel pajama pants as I think about Duke and his arrogant face. The way he
had sprayed dirt and gravel around Harlan's driveway as he had roared away,
Jesse's Lexus on his heels. "Please let that asshole take some advice and
leave me the hell alone," I whisper, my cheek up against the window pane
causing it to fog with my breath.

Chad rumbled in his
sleep, shifting from one of his sides to the other, his face towards me and I
can't help but smirk to myself. I had fantasized about this man in every kind
of way and there he was lying in a bed with his arm thrown over the spot where
I had tried to sleep.

God, I was going to miss
him when he was overseas, or wherever the hell he was going because he couldn't
exactly tell us. My chest tightens at the mere split second thought of him
leaving and I clutch at my ribbed tank top, seemingly pulling at my aching
heart. What advice would Randy give me if he was alive? What advice would my
mother give if she was still alive? Tears rim my lashes as I think about them.
My mother would be so happy for me right now because she always knew how I felt
about Chad and she had always said she prayed that we would find each other one
day.

"Well today's that
day ma," I whisper as a single tear slips down my right cheek. I can't
help but let the idea that maybe me finally being officially with Chad would've
brought my mom out of her emotional funk and depression. What I wouldn't give
to talk face to face with her right now. What I wouldn't give to just see a
small smile on her full, always red lips, or a glint in her pretty blue eyes.
"
Ugghhhh
," I moan to myself, my head bouncing off the window
pane as I let it roll back with my eyes closed.

"What's wrong
babe," Chad's husky, sleep filled voice shakes me from my self-pity party
and my eyes snap open, my hand wiping away the few tears that had slipped out.
His hair was in a ponytail but it was all disheveled from sleep, his body bared
to the waist where the sheets sat, his chest muscles flexing as he scratched
his head. I can't help but smile at how silly he looks right now and he sees
it, asking "What's so funny," in his scratchy voice.

I shake my head, moving
silently from the window to kneel on the bed beside him, "You look so cute
right now," I say, running my fingers along his jaw, scratching my index
finger into his beard under his chin. His arms wrap around my waist and pull me
into him, his warm chest scaring away all the goose-bumps that line my skin.

"I don't look
cute," he smiles, kissing the tip of my nose, "I look manly," he
says the last word in an exaggerated deep voice, puffing his chest out and
flexing his arms against the bed making me giggle. His laugh rumbles through
his chest as I lay my cheek near his heart and he pulls the sheets up around us
as I'm splayed on his chest. "Please don't worry," he whispers as his
fingers brush the hair from my cheeks and forehead and I can feel his hot
breath on the top of my head.

"Let's not talk
about that now," I say, resting my chin on his chest so I can see his
face. He squeezes his chin down to his chest and smiles at me, making me giggle
again lightly. I slide myself off of his chest and snuggle into his side as his
arm wraps around my shoulder. "You still wanna go to the cemetery later
today," I say, twirling my finger around his nipples, getting a shiver to
rock through him and a pinch on my shoulder.

"If you
wanna," he says, kissing my forehead, hugging me tight with his lips
lingering there. I nod and he kisses me again, pulling the sheets up to our
shoulders. I close my eyes, basking in the warmth and love of this man and I
sigh, loudly, getting a chuckle from Chad. He hugs me tighter and I drift off
to sleep just as the sunlight peeks over the horizon, my breathing even with
Chad's heartbeat.

When I awoke the sun was
beaming in through the window and the smell of coffee was drifting in through
the cracked door. My phone tells me it's just after nine and I groan, throwing
my head back against the pillow and covering my eyes with my hands. I feel
emotionally and physically drained right now, but the thought of being with
Chad over the next few days swings my feet from the bed and makes me sit up,
scratching my head. I throw on my favorite jeans, thick socks, red tank and a
long sleeve Virginia Tech hooded shirt, shuffling my way down the stairs.

"Mornin' sleepy
head," Chad smiles at me over his shoulder tending to the sizzling bacon
in the pan on the stove in front of him. I just yawn and slap him on the butt
as I scoot by, grabbing a mug and pouring myself some coffee. Standing by the
glass sliding door I see that the grass is wet and still frosty in areas where
the sun hasn't hit yet, the temperature gauge telling me its thirty-five degrees
as I sip my coffee. "Figured we'll go to your mom and Randy's plots with
some fake flowers, make it look good and then have a late lunch at the
diner," he says in a questioning tone, raising an eyebrow at me as he
cracks two eggs into the bacon grease.

"I have some
flowers that will look good in my mom's craft cases," I nod my chin
towards the spare bedroom down the hall where we had stored all of the things
from my trailer and Chad smiles. My mom had been an avid crafter; knitting,
painting, clothes making, decoupage, embroidery, and everything in between. I
had an entire large plastic tote filled with plastic flowers and greens of all
sorts and I know I can whip something up that would make her proud.

Our breakfast was pretty
quiet and I know that seeing Randy's grave is going to be hard on Chad. They
had been attached at the hip since they were seven, going everywhere with each
other. Whenever one got in trouble the other fell into step so that the first
wouldn't be lonely in their punishment. When their senior year of high school
rolled around, Chad had already decided to go into the Navy instead of college
and Randy agreed, both of them saying that they'd go to college after. As we
all well know, the lure of action and excitement drew them into the SEALs after
they enlisted and the rest is history. Which is still unfolding.

Chad helped me as I made
a few bunches of flowers to take to my family grave plot. Wrapping some green
wire around the plastic stems, I tied together red roses, white lilies, pink
carnations and baby's breath, fitting leaves into the empty looking spaces for
my mother's grave. For Randy's I let Chad pull together an array of blue, red
and white flowers, fitting small American flags into the bunch as I tied it all
together. Setting the flowers in a small box on the coffee table I'm surprised
when Chad's arms go around my waist, pulling me into his lap and his mouth
brushing along the side of my neck.

"They'd love
these," he whispers, kissing just below my ear and a shiver runs through
my body, lightening striking my nerves.

"Yeah," I let
out in a reply that I try not to fill with emotion, but it seeps out anyways,
"they would like them."

It hasn't gotten much
warmer and we're both sort of bundled up as we head out, getting in the cold
truck and heading towards Spratley Cemetery, the cardboard box with flowers in
my lap. My fingers tap nervously on the sides of the box as we get closer, my
leg shaking making the box bounce lightly, jostling the flowers around. Chad's
hand found my shoulder and his warmth found my skin even through my North Face
fleece jacket. His light brown, graying hair was kept under the knit cap I had
gotten him, the silver in his beard reflecting in the sun as his blue eyes
watched me out of their corners. I try to smile at him as he turns the truck
onto the long blacktop driveway leading up the slight hill, the archway stating
that we were in the cemetery. Like I would forget.

Up and around to the
left, Chad parks just under a large, sprawling oak, it's branches spreading out
and over the driveway and many of the surrounding headstones. There was snow on
the ground here and there, but it was mostly bare as Chad held my hand as I led
the way to the back right corner of the cemetery. There was a large red maple that
marked our destination, it's looming branches guiding the way as we walked
along the sidewalk, hand in hand, my head on his shoulder as he held the box
under his arm. The maple's branches reached towards the sky like fingers and
then out like opening wide for a hug from God, my mother's reddish-pink stone
standing out like a sore thumb among the small pile of snow I spot beside it.

I can feel Chad's steps
hesitate the tiniest amount as we get closer and I can see that his eyes are on
the ground, watching his feet. I know he's trying to hold it in. Letting my
hand fall from his I reach out for the box and take it from under his arm, his
eyes never meeting mine, but I know he's trying to deal with the turmoil
inside. Seeing Randy's headstone was making it all real to him again and I know
how he was feeling. The tightness in my chest was almost earth shattering as I
turned and faced the two headstones before me, nestled up against the roots of
the maple above them.

"Hi Rand," I
whisper, my eyes glistening as I look at my older brother's pure white, cross
shaped headstone. The SEAL eagle and trident emblem caught the sun and the
light danced off it as a tear slid down my cheek, my left hand running over the
metal emblem, wiping the moisture from it. "Chad and I brought you
these," I say, kneeling down and pushing the dead grass away from the
green floral holder that was staked into the ground. Pushing the wired stems
into the tube, I spread the blooms and flags out, making it take up a nice
chunk of the right corner of the headstone, bringing some color to its
surroundings. Randy was always a fan of color, wearing crazy graphic tees and
hoodies when we were younger. The thought of him dressed in his crazy green
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle hoodie that had been his favorite when he was
twelve and I was seven brings a smile to my face and I push some moss from his
name.

Standing, the slight
breeze makes me notice the wet spots on the knees of my jeans from the ground,
but I ignore them, stepping over and kneeling before my mother's heart shaped
stone. "Hi Mom," I whisper and the scratchiness finds my voice, the
overwhelming emotion making my throat tighten. I run my hand over the reddish
stone and its etched roses on the face, the tears streaming down my cheeks silently.

I can see Chad out of
the corner of my left eye step up closer to Randy's headstone, placing his hand
on the SEAL emblem on the top, his head down and his back to me. A almost
silent mumbling makes it's way too me on the slight breeze and I can make out
Chad's prayer. It makes my chest tighten.

Brushing some dead grass
and branches from in front of her stone, I put the fake flowers in the green
floral stake, spreading the blooms out I say, "I made you these, I think
you'll like 'em." I take a ragged breath, wiping the tears from my cheeks
with a shaky hand.

"So I finally did
it ma. I finally told Chad that I love him, and guess what," I whisper
ever so slightly and a smile breaks out on my face, "he loves me
too." I let out a laughing sob, running my hand over the rough edge of the
heart shaped stone as my smile turns to more tears, running down my cheeks and
soaking into the collar of my fleece.