Two Weeks With a SEAL (The Wakefield Romance Series) (19 page)

"I'm sorry mama.
I'm sorry I couldn't be there more for you. I'm sorry I was at work when you
needed me the most," a sob hits my chest and it feels like my heart is
going to explode, "I'm sorry." I slouch down on the cold ground with
my left shoulder against the reddish stone, my cheek resting on its edge. I cry
for my mom and all the pain she had gone through in her life, from the abuse at
the hands of my dirt bag dad to the death of Randy. I cry for all the pain she
had felt.

I also cry for me. Yes
it sounds selfish but at this moment but I realize that I need my mother. I
need her to be there when I need some guidance, the way she always was before.
I need her to hug me when I come home; I need her to kiss my cheek when I need
some emotional support. I let the sobs roll through my chest because I haven't
really cried for my mom. After the funeral I was too occupied with pushing the
last six months of her depression from my life, purging my home of all it's
remnants, but now, I mourn. I close my eyes tight to try and squeeze back the
pain of missing my mom, but it seeps out along with the tears.

I feel Chad's warm arms
snake around my waist, turning me to face him and I open my eyes. My heart
breaks at the sight because his face is streaked with tears running down
through his short beard. His blue eyes are rimmed with red and puffy as I
imagine mine and I wrap my arms around his waist, slamming my head against his
Carhart covered chest, his arms tightening around my back and shoulders. His
cheek is against the top of my head and I can feel the tears meeting my hair as
the sobs fill his chest, the sniffling of us both filling the silent area
around us. We're on our knees; in between the two headstones embracing each
other for only God knows how long, just crying into one another's shoulders and
necks, exchanging sweet kisses every now and then.

"I'm sorry,"
Chad chokes out and his arms squeeze me tighter.

I rest my chin on his
chest to look up at him, wiping at the wetness on my cheeks as he looks down at
me, his face creased with pain and sadness. "It wasn't your fault," I
say, my voice scratchy from the tears and sobs. With my hands on his chest I
push myself away ever so slightly so that I can see him better.

His shoulders are
slumped and his eyes are blood shot. I run my fingers over each of his cheeks,
wiping away the stray moisture as he cups my cheek, running his thumb over the
reddened flesh and over my lips lightly. "Randy loved you like a brother
and he wouldn't have let you go out there by yourself. Plus he had his own
reasons that neither of us will ever know and, well, we just have to hope that
he's in a better place now." I try to give him a little smile but it's
rimmed with tears as they slide down my cheeks.

Chad returns it with a
small grin of his own, pulling me back into his chest. "Yeah he's prolly
out on a little tin boat in the middle of a peaceful pond with his feet propped
up, his floppy hat pulled down and a cooler of Buds sitting on his right."
We both laugh because that is totally Randy. He loved fishing and he loved
being out in nature. "Or maybe he's with your mama, hiking up a mountain
in the beginning of fall, because they both loved fall. Randy would tell me
that fall was the best because of the colors that came out. And because he
could still watch girls running around in short-shorts." We both laugh a
little harder and I bury my face deeper into his jacket as his arms rub over my
back.

"I just hope
they're together," I say, my voice still edged with emotion.
"Wherever they are I hope they're together and happy, enjoying each
other's company and watching over you and me." I lift my chin up and look
at him, his eyes finding me. My heart melts when he presses his lips lightly
over mine, his facial hair tickling at my chin and upper lip. His hand finds my
cheek and pulls me in to deepen the kiss and I don't refuse. I straighten my
back and press my chest into his as his hand goes in my hair and I wrap my
fingers around the back of his neck.

Pushing our foreheads
together after breaking the kiss sweetly, his chest is heaving. "I love
you Rhea," he says, his eyes locked onto mine.

I smile at him, kissing
his cheek as I get to my feet and take his hand, "And I love you
Chad." When he's on his feet, he wraps an arm around my shoulders and we
just stand there, silently looking at the two headstones before us. This was my
family. This was where they rested. Now I have the chance to make my own family
and honor Randy and my mom’s memories. I was going to build it with this man
right here, holding me. Picking up the now empty box, I squeeze Chad's hand,
bumping my head into his shoulder as we turn to head back to the truck.
"I'm glad we came."

"Me too," he
says, wrapping his arms around me as I'm squeezed to his side.

Our journey into town
was quiet as I sat at his side, curled under his arm, the Silverado warm and
toasty by the time we pulled into the diner parking lot. It was a little after
one-thirty so the lunch crowd was gone and only the regulars remained. Old Man
Kelley tipped his dirty Penzoil hat to me and shook Chad's hand as we walked in
the door, taking our coats off and hanging them on the rack. Janice Ludwell was
at her post, pouring coffee into Jack Spinley's cup and she waved us to sit
anywhere. We chose the booth we had sat in the last time and Chad and I slid
in, his hand on top of mine over the table.

"Well you two
looked like you were rollin' round in the dirt, what've ya been doin'?"
Janice inquired, looking at our legs under the table and raising an eyebrow as
she poured our coffee, taking rolled silverware from her apron. She was the
definition of a small town diner waitress, her hair in a bun, her portly, plump
figure wrapped up in a light green floral dress and covered with a stained
white apron.

I just smile sweetly at
her, stirring my coffee, "We were at the cemetery." She seems like
she's about to apologize but as she looks at Chad, I see him smile and nod to
her. Janice grins and tells us she'll put our usual order in as she scuffles
away. I let out a sigh and Chad's hand caresses mine lightly, his blue eyes
smiling at me as I look up. "What," I say, shrugging my shoulder.

"You're cute,"
he says looking me in the eyes with that oh-so-sexy grin on his face, the one
that makes the dimple in his cheek stick out and I can't help but giggle a
little. I move my fingers from under his hand and tap them lightly on his skin,
zoning out on just the feel of him. Even the slightest, most innocent touch of
his skin could send tingles down to my toes. "You gonna be okay," he
asks and I can see his brow crease from the corner of my eye, but I just keep
looking at his hand and brushing my fingers along the back of it lightly.

"Yeah," I say,
a smile reaching my lips, "I'm gonna be fine." I sat up so that I was
leaning across the table between us and I took his face in my hands, pulling
his lips to meet mine over our coffee cups. I could tell he was a bit shocked,
but his hands came to my cheeks as our lips brushed slightly and then filled
with passion as he pulled me closer.

A shrill whistle broke
our moment, our foreheads going together and I can see Old Man Kelley totally
spun around watching us from the counter, a wide smile on the face of Jack
Spinley as he shook his head and spun back around to face his food.

We both laugh, sliding
back down into our own sides of the booth, his hand settling once more over
mine on the tabletop. Our food comes with a wink from Janice as she refills my
coffee cup and as I blush she pats me on the shoulder, making Chad chuckle once
she'd walked away. The waffle was delicious as always, this time with Bubba's
home grown strawberries on top and Chad devoured his chicken fried steak with
extra mashed potatoes, leaving nothing but his napkin on the plate.

With his arm around my
shoulders as we left the diner, Chad kissed the side of my head. "You
wanna walk around a lil'," he asked, stopping our path to his truck. He turned
us more towards the center of town where there was only a few stores and a
library. I nodded in my agreement because any time spent with him will be great
and we start down the sidewalk, headed first for the library.

I love reading, so
stepping inside the old library and hearing the familiar ring of the old bell
above the door a wide smile crosses my face. The musty smell of the older books
throughout the two-story building hits me. It brings back many memories of my
childhood, spending my days sprawled out in the corner, engrossed in some novel
meant for an older woman while waiting for Randy and Chad to come get me from
their escapades around town that I wasn't welcome on. I had sat there through
winter, spring and fall, reading about romance and fantasizing that just one
time Chad would come in on a white horse and rescue me, declaring his love for
me. I squeezed his hand as left him at the desk, talking to Henry Green, a kid
who graduated with Randy and him, and I headed to the second floor bound for
the romance section.

I ran my fingers along
the book spines as I passed the historical romance section, eyeing some titles
about Highland warriors rescuing women in distress. Ah, now my favorite
section, Paranormal Romance. I was a huge paranormal fan, especially vampires,
werewolves all that good stuff. I was an avid Sookie Stackhouse fan and I have
read all the books, a new one is due out in May and I watch True Blood on HBO
religiously in the summer when the new seasons are on. There was something absolutely
amazing about losing yourself in a world where creatures of the night and sons
of Luna roamed the pages, sweeping the unsuspecting innocent girl off her feet.

I thumb through a few
different titles but am unimpressed by any of them, nothing really striking my
interest until I hear Chad's boots clomping on the staircase, headed my way. I
didn't
need
these romance novels to help fulfill my fantasy of having
the man of my dreams, because, well frankly he was walking steadily towards me
and I peek my head around the bookshelf out so he can see me.

A smile breaks out on
his face from ear to ear and I can't help but return it, my cheeks flushing,
"How did I know I'd find ya up here," he asks, shrugging his
shoulders and winking at me.

I laugh because it's only
the hundredth time he's found me up here since I was about nine. He takes the
book I had in my hand [one of the Highland warrior romances], thumbs through it
with a raised eyebrow and throws his arm over my shoulder. "You remember
that time when you were maybe ten and I came up to get you and caught you for
the first time readin' one of these," he shakes the book in the air and I
giggle because I do remember.

"You were so
embarrassed," he pinches my cheek and gives me the book back as I punch
him in the shoulder.

"Yeah and you sat
down on the bean bag chair with me and had me read it out loud to you," I
lean back against the shelf behind me, my face flushing at the memory of how I
whispered the words to him. "It was the major love scene too," at
that Chad bursts out laughing, "and you did just that, making me throw the
book down and run out crying. You embarrassed me so much that day." He's
laughing hard and trying to say he's sorry, but I just shake my head at him,
giggling the entire way down the stairs to go check out my Highland Warrior
romance.

Chad finally composes
himself and joins me at the desk just as Henry hands me the little paper bag he
had put the book in and I can see he notes that Chad is still laughing
slightly. "Boys," I mutter and walk out, leaving Chad to catch up
with me as I head towards the small grocery store about two blocks down. I can
hear his boots lightly falling on the concrete as he jogs up to me, his hand
wrapping in mine and our fingers entwining. He jerks my arm, pulling me into
him and he kisses my forehead.

"You know that day
when you read to me," he started to say, pausing me and turning me so that
I faced him, "I was what, fifteen, and I only yelled out, "That's so
lame", because at that time it seemed like it. It was all lovey and gushy
and just didn't seem to me, being a fifteen year old male, as if it could be
real." He ran his thumb over my bottom lip, tipping my head up so that I
was looking right in his eyes. "But I know now that love is like that,
because that's how I feel with you." My hands go to his chest and I'm up
on my tiptoes in a split second, kissing him as my hands grip at his jacket,
squishing the paper bag that holds my library book.

"You still
embarrassed me," I say with a smile, swatting at his chest as he pulls me
into his side, continuing our stroll to the grocery.

Channing's Chuck Wagon
was our local grocery store and deli. They carried a variety of foods,
including a large vegetarian and vegan section and they had a small deli
counter where you could order a generous sub sandwich with a cup of their house
roasted coffee. Their coffee was great and the smell of it hit me as Chad
grabbed a cart. The store was all but empty except for the little old lady here
and there, and I spotted Ms. Jenkins who lives up the street from Chad, and me,
I guess now. She spots me and I wave while she gives me a sweet smile, nodding
to Chad as he comes up behind me. No doubt the news of my moving in with him
had spread like wildfire throughout the salon where Ms. Jenkins spends her
weekdays, along with some unsavory rumors I can imagine.

We roamed the aisles,
picking up random items here and there. We spent what felt like ten minutes in
the cereal aisle arguing over what kind was the best, finally settling on
peanut butter Captain Crunch. As I led the way around the end to the next
aisle, I was rammed by a cart, my eyes finding non-other than Holly Unger
behind it. Her bleached-blonde hair was up in a ponytail and she had a fresh
bruise across her cheek and a cut above her nose, right between her eyes, which
were locked on mine, trying to bore a hole in my soul. Trying to ignore her, I
push the front of her cart from my thighs, my hand going next to Chad's on the
handle of ours as we pushed by her.