Holden’s smirk faded and anger replaced it. I knew it was immature but I didn’t give a shit. I may not have been able to hurt him the same way he hurt me, but there was no way I was walking away without at least putting a chink in his armor. Asshole.
That night was the start of it. The very beginning. Like in the movies where the main character is sitting there wondering “How did I get here?” and you see a flash of a scene as to why and where it started. That’s my why and where. Right then. The unforgettable.
After Holden and I broke up, not only did I have an emotional breakdown but I went into
full-blown
depression. I don’t mean slightly depressed and indulging in ice cream and sappy movies because there’s that. I’m talking about the type of depression where you just sat and cried for days, barely moving, barely breathing. It was pathetic. But then again, I was with him for four years and he was my only taste of love. Needless to say, it was my first broken heart. And now I wanted to wash my mouth out with soap and never have that horrible fucking taste again.
This went on for weeks before Rawley, my twin brother, finally decided it was time for me to get over my shit and took me out with him and his band one night in March. It should have been a laidback night of watching my brother’s band play and having a few drinks. I was only nineteen, but we knew the owner and it was my chance to at least drink and forget the horror of my life. So I went.
My brother’s advice before we entered Murphy’s Bar? He’s a fucking slut so I never listen to him but he said, and I quote: “Raven, one thing always leads to another.”
“You want a drink?” Zack asks me. He went to high school with Red, my oldest brother, and he’s always been cool about serving me even though I’m not twenty-one yet.
“
Fuck yeah
, I want a drink.” I set my purse on the bar. “Serve that shit up.”
Zack smirks. “All right, well hold tight. I’ll make you something special. You look like you could use it.” While Zack goes about creating whatever surprise he has in store for me, I bob my head to the beginning beats of the song Rawley’s doing sound check to. I love that he’s playing one of the originals he wrote. He doesn’t do it very often because he thinks no one wants to hear it. They’d rather hear him doing covers of Nickelback.
Just as quickly as he’s done with that song, he moves onto “Stroke Me” by Mickey Avalon. It cracks me up this one is on his set list because it’s unlike him. But I get why. He puts on a good show with it and that’s what he’s good at. Putting on a show.
Rawley’s been in a band since he was I don’t even know how old. It’s always been him, Linc and Beck. The three of them play good together and someday I honestly believe they’ll make it to the big time. That’s if my brother can keep his shit together long enough to make it work. He’s one of those guys who doesn’t like to be told what to do. He wants to play at his own will and if you try to tell him when and where, he just says fuck you and walks away.
The drink Zack makes me is a half piña colada and half strawberry daiquiri and it’s the best fucking thing I’ve had in my life. I suck the damn thing down in less than five minutes risking the brain freeze because I can’t believe how damn good it is.
“
Dude
.” My voice is high-pitched and bordering obnoxious already. “You, my friend, are a lifesaver. This drink is amazing!”
Zack laughs as he makes me another and then half turns to help another customer on the other side of the bar. He knocks his fist to the bar lightly. “Hold tight, honey. I’ll be right back.”
I nod to him, winking. “Take your time. I’ve got all night. But seriously—” I grab his fist—“make me another one soon because this is
delicious
.”
The crowd starts clapping and whistling, which tells me that Rawley’s band is taking the stage. I twist around on my stool so I’m facing the stage and do a quick visual sweep of the bar looking to see what kind of crowd is here tonight. It’s then I see a familiar face coming toward the bar.
Tyler Hemming. My older brother’s best friend and my childhood crush.
Of all the nights to run into him it has to be tonight. Awesome. It’s only been a few weeks since I last saw him, but still, when you’re a mess, the last person you want to see is a hot guy. It’s like going to the grocery store with your hair tied up in a bun and last night’s pajamas and make-up only to run into someone you know from high school who looks better than you.
A minute later he’s standing next to me, our shoulders bumping, Tyler eyes the drink as he sits down next to me at the bar. “Look at you. Drinking someone away, are we?”
I didn’t think he’d come in here and not come over. We’ve been friends for years but his deep voice still sends my heart fluttering. Naturally. Any crush would do that. “Yep.”
Zack gives him a nod, waiting for his order. “Whiskey. Bring the bottle.”
Looks like I’m not the only one who wants to forget the day.
I give him a look. “Whoa. How about you, what are you doing here?”
His eyes drag over me without revealing anything. Hell, my body is damn near burned by that one look. His gaze narrows before he lifts his chin and nudges his head toward me. “Do I need a reason to get drunk?”
Tyler is a beautiful man. Even when he was younger and I should have been too young to notice, I knew he was pretty. Not like a girly way, just in a rugged man way. His dark hair is shaved close on the sides and long in the front. He sweeps it out of his face, cold blue eyes wandering to mine.
“Well no, but you said it first. And it seems I’m not the only one here to drink someone or
something
away.” I eye him carefully. The sharpness of his jaw covered by a slight beard is a roughness I want between my thighs. “Is it a girl? Did she break your heart?”
For a split second, the look he gives me is almost vulnerable and I can’t tell why, but our eyes are locked and I know Tyler well enough to know I might have guessed right. He shifts his gaze quickly and laughs a little at the question then turns his attention back to Zack when he returns with his order.
“You gonna join me or am I going to have to finish this bottle by myself tonight?”
“Fuck yeah!” I shout, louder than necessary. “Someone to get drunk with. I hate drinking alone.”
He grins, light laughter following and my stomach flips a little because there’s the Tyler I have known for twelve years.
The thing about Tyler, he’s always been a flirt with me. Really since I turned sixteen and got boobs, he’s flirted with me. It didn’t matter who we were with at the time, Tyler always had a sexy comment or a wink to send my way. Hell, he even flirted with me during the time he was with Berkley, his ex-girlfriend.
I distinctly remember my teenage years spent dreaming about him going down on me, too. I know, crazy dreams but he was twenty-two when I was sixteen and the coolest guy ever as far as I was concerned. Also the hottest.
You know, those older brother best-friend types, they’ll get you every single time. Probably because they’re technically supposed to be off-limits. Well you know what, I’m a motherfucking rule breaker tonight, so I shift in my seat to face him.
Tyler seems entertained by my enthusiasm and turns so he’s facing me as well, our knees knocking. “Well I’m assuming the person you’re here to forget is Holden, so are you gonna tell me
why
or are ya gonna keep me wondering all night?”
Jesus Christ, the way he watches me.
I just want to lay myself on the bar right now and beg him to stick his head between my legs.
“Why yes, I will tell you who I’m drinking away, or rather why.” I stare at my delicious heaven in a cup that Zack slides my way, my lips scrambling to reach the straw. After a sip, the straw falls away and I remove the pineapple from the edge and take a dramatic bite for no particular reason at all. “The reason for my drinking is that he “whose name shall not be mentioned” is a stupid motherfucker. And for the rest of tonight and all eternity, he shall be referred to by his proper moniker of fucking asshole.”
Tyler lifts an eyebrow again, waiting for more of an explanation, one I don’t give him. I simply shrug. A hearty laugh leaves his lips, and he raises his drink filled halfway with liquor. He reaches out and grabs the edge of my barstool and in one swift movement, he has me sitting right next to him, our arms touching. “Well, shit…. To me, then.”
Giggling at nearly falling off the stool in the process, I watch as he downs the drink in one shot, grimacing at the burn.
“Why you?”
Setting the glass on the bar, he stares at me for a moment, making me slightly uncomfortable. Running his hands through his dark hair, he leans forward slightly, his head turned to me. “Because I’m the lucky son of a bitch who gets to help you forget the asshole.”
Sigh
. No really, I sigh. Outwardly, like I’m dreaming.
By “forget,” I know exactly what Tyler has in mind. As I said, he’s never been shy about his attraction to me. He’s still technically off-limits but like I also said, all bets are off tonight.
I hold my drink up clanking it against his. “May the force be with you!”
He snorts. “Did you just quote
Star Wars
?”
“Yeah, I think I did.” I try to focus on him, and instead I end up squinting.
Tyler’s eyes meet mine. “It’s still pretty early. You hittin’ the town tonight with Rawley?”
I eye him completely straight-faced. “I’m not hitting much of anything these days and all we have in this town are farms and bugs.”
He laughs. “You know, I’ve always said a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste and girl, you know how to use your dirty mind, don’t you?”
The way he watches me makes my knees shake and takes the air from my lungs. It damn near gives me chills. “I’m a Walker. I know how to use my dirty mind for good.” I wink at him. “And I think I’m going to stay right here. I want to drink away my sorrows with these delicious drinks and the bottle of whiskey you so kindly bought us.” My eyes sneak to his and then the bottle as I raise my empty glass. “Just poor it right in there. I bet it will be delicious!”
Tyler gives me this look, as if he knows where this could potentially go with us getting drunk but with the way his eyes darken maybe he wants that very same thing.
Maybe.
Despite my declaration of wanting to get drunk, my mind is on Tyler suddenly. I shift so I’m facing the stage again, staring out into the crowd hoping to distract myself.
“Can you believe that asshole?”
When I glance over at him, Tyler doesn’t look at me but I can see his brow furrow in confusion. “Who? Rawley?”
“No. Holden.”
Tyler twists his head in my direction, his brow raised and cheeks flushed in the cutest way. I want to reach out and touch the heat to my fingertips. Running his hand through his thick dark hair, he laughs lightly. “Actually, yes, I can. Holden, sorry, I mean fucking asshole, seemed like a turd to me.” His hand raises and flips around. “No offense.”
“None taken.” I want to slam my head on the bar and knock some sense into me. “Clearly. He couldn’t even cheat on me with someone hot. No he had to pick some average-looking blonde with perky tits and a fake tan from California.”
“Oh, I’m gonna need more on this. Did he give you a reason? And how do you know she’s from California?”
“No, he didn’t give me a reason. At least not one I understood and all sluts are from California.” I’m sure that’s not accurate, but in my head, tonight, it’s totally fucking accurate. I reach for the whiskey and pour both Tyler and myself a shot. Zack eyes the two of us and what’s happening, like he knows we’re having one of those nights where it’s best to keep your opinions to yourself. “So… yeah, no real reason but I mean, balls deep in another girl pretty much explains it, doesn’t it?”