(Un)bidden (27 page)

She nodded.

“And those times in the yard?”

Guiltily, I looked at my hands.  In the yard, I did more than just beat back men.  I controlled them.  But something cautioned me against revealing that detail, a detail of which she was hopefully unaware.

“Every time I moved one of them, it was the same thing,” I said, carefully wording my answer to avoid a lie.

She exhaled and considered me for a moment.

“As an Elder, I need to do what is best for the whole of our race.  It relieves me that you can’t control us.  That would represent a dangerous potential.  Yet, as a human, you are at a disadvantage here, and hearing you have the ability to defend yourself is a relief.  Mates are important.  Without them, we have no future.  As a potential mate,
you
are important to our kind.  Yes, your ability is unique, but I see no reason it should concern us.”  She patted my hand and stood.  “Now, let’s finished this up and make some cookies.”

I returned her smile with a weak one of my own and moved to help.  She accepted me because she sensed little threat in me.  What would she do if she knew the truth, that I could control them, too?

It was a relief when Winifred left with another truck bed full of metal.  Throughout the weekend, she’d continued to be nothing but kind.  It just made keeping something from her harder.  I wanted to tell her.  Yet every time I set my mind to do so, something stopped me.  It was as if a little voice in my head whispered caution.

“I wish she would have brought more eggs,” Mary said as I closed the outer door.

Winifred had brought six dozen.  We ate three Saturday and three again that morning.  It wasn’t just the men who liked to eat well.  Mary did too.  I grinned at her.

“She said she’d bring more next weekend.  Until then, you’ll have to make due with oatmeal,” I said.  Mary made a face and turned back to the dishes.  I went to join her.

I was mentally preparing for another week of monotony when Thomas and Gregory walked in from outside.

“Ready, Charlene?”

“For what?” I asked, setting aside a plate.

“I thought we’d start with a walk along the north border.”

“Is that far?”  I finished drying the last plate and wiped my hands.

“Far enough that I’d need to carry you there and back if we don’t want to sleep out there.”

There wasn’t much to do here.  The laundry from the weekend could wait until tomorrow, and Mary was already making eyes at Gregory.

“Did you need me here for anything?” I asked her anyway.

“No.  Go on and enjoy your day.  Gregory and I will find something here to occupy ourselves.”

A slow grin spread on Gregory’s face.

I blushed and focused on Thomas.

“All right.”

He chuckled and motioned for me to lead the way out the door.  As soon as we were in the yard, he scooped me up in his arms again.  The feel of his skin under the palm of my hand made me blush further.

He ran with ease, covering the distance to the lake and then past it.  Bramble filled in between the trees but Thomas always managed to find narrow trails around or through them.  When my face grew a little cold from the cool forest air, I turned into his heat and laid my cheek against his shoulder.  It amazed me that his breathing remained even.  I laid my hand over his heart.  It beat steadily.

Suddenly, he stopped, and I was on my feet.  Trees surrounded us.  How did he know where the property ended?  I looked up and met his gaze.  The focus I found there startled me.

He reached for my hand and lifted it up to his chest.  He placed it over his heart once more.  Then, he took my other hand and placed it on his skin as well.  He held them in place as he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

“I never thought such a simple touch could do so much,” he said.  He shook his head.  “I understand what Gregory means.”

“About what?”

“Every little thing Mary does drives him crazy.  All he wants to do is touch her, hold her close.  The waiting is testing his resolve.”

His insinuation that he was experiencing the same thing with me made my stomach twist happily.  He kept his left hand on my right one, and with his other hand, lightly traced the curve of my jaw.

“You tempt me, Charlene.  I want to kiss you every time I see you and lay beside you every night.  Claim or not, I belong to you, and the distance you want is getting harder to maintain.”

His thumb skimmed the edge of my bottom lip and my breath caught.

“Thomas, please.  I can’t...”  Couldn’t what?  Kiss him?  I already had.  And I really wanted to again.  But he wasn’t after a single kiss.  He wanted much more.  He wanted commitment, a Claim I couldn’t give him.  “We don’t know what will happen when the rest of your pack returns.”

Frustration crept into his gaze.

“Right.”

He picked me up again and continued running.  I was careful to keep my hands hooked around his neck.

We didn’t run much longer before he slowed to his version of a jog, then finally stopped.  He bent as he released my legs, straightening once my feet touched ground.  He didn’t release his hold around my shoulders but used it to hug me close to his chest.  I tipped my head back, wondering at his mood.  But he quickly dropped a kiss on my forehead and released me.

“This is the edge.  Winifred posted it when she officially purchased it.”  He pointed to a sign that prohibited the hunting of
any
animal on this land.  “Beyond this, there are a few parcels of open land and then protected land.  It’s perfectly placed for us to roam.  But only here are we truly safe.”

We started walking to the left.  Ahead I saw another sign nailed to a tree.

“My mother and father ran on a stretch of land much further north.  I grew up with snow three of the four seasons.  When they died, Grey and I decided to head south.  We’d heard about this place and were curious why an Elder would waste time with it.  It lived up to our low expectations.  Still we stayed in the area.”

“How long ago was that?”

“Grey was twelve and I was nine.”

Nine.  I was stunned.

“That’s a long time to be on your own.”

“Not on my own.  I’ve had Grey.”

“If Grey’s older, why are you the pack’s leader?”

He gave a single, short laugh.

“If you asked Grey that question, he’d tell you he spent enough time leading me that he didn’t want to do it anymore.  And maybe some of that is the truth.  He’s always watched out for me.  I think pushing me to lead the pack was another way of leading me.  If that makes sense.”

Not really but I didn’t say so.  For a long while, we walked in silence.  Eventually my stomach started to rumble.  He grinned at me and took my hand in his.

“There’s a creek ahead.”

I didn’t see what a creek had to do with my growling stomach.  When we found it, he dropped to his knees and studied the moving water.  Then his hand darted forward, splashing into the water and immediately retreating.  He held up an ugly looking brown thing with beady eyes and two pinchers.

“What is that?”

“Lunch,” he said with a grin.  He broke off the tail, put it to his mouth, and sucked.  When he pulled it away, the shell was empty.  I barely noticed that.  I stared at the thrashing top half.  He noticed, and his expression changed from amusement to mild shame.

“Sorry,” he said.  He quickly tossed the top half into the water.  The little creature sunk to the bottom.  I watched others like it scurry forward.  Soon it was buried under several of its own kind.

Thomas stood, looking uncomfortable.

“You were fine with the fish,” he said.

I understood what he meant.  Before, while he’d caught the second fish, the first had flopped around on shore until it stilled.  That hadn’t bothered me.  I was realistic.  I knew I needed to eat.  I just couldn’t eat something while its top half was alive to watch.

“It’s fine, Thomas.  Just a bit shocking.  I’m not that hungry anymore.”

He nodded and led me away from the creek.  My stomach continued to growl as we walked, though.  He remained silently thoughtful beside me, his eyes on the ground rather than the trees ahead.  Then with a sniff, his mood shifted.  His gaze searched the bramble around us, and he increased his pace.

A few more feet and we found a small patch of picked over blackberries.

“Better?” he asked.

“Much,” I said with a smile.  We worked together to find a few with enough juice left in them to eat.  I licked my stained fingers when I couldn’t find any more.

“Here,” Thomas said, holding out a handful of berries.

“It’s all right.  You eat them.”

He picked one out of his palm, popped it in his mouth, then extended his hand again.  “Your turn.”

My stomach wanted more so I gave in.  When we finished, we returned to walking the property line.

“So what exactly are we doing out here?” I asked.

“Keeping you from loneliness.”

I stopped walking and turned toward him.

“Thomas, I didn’t mean to take you away from your responsibilities.”

“I can do what’s needed from here,” he said and tapped his temple to remind me of his connection to his pack.  “I thought you wanted space before.  That was the only reason I stayed away.”

I didn’t know what to say to that.  First, he’d resented my presence.  Then, he’d met me and resented that he wanted to Claim me.  Now, he wasn’t even that man.  He’d admitted to wanting to kiss me, spent time with me, was very considerate of my feelings, and listened to what I thought.  My chest felt uncomfortably tight.

I wanted to escape him for a while to regroup and reconsider all the reasons I needed to avoid him because, at the moment, I couldn’t think of any.

“Maybe we should head back.”  As soon as I said it, I realized my mistake.  He would have to carry me.  There was no escape.

He scooped me up in his arms and settled me next to his chest.  Before he started running, he met my gaze.

“Haven’t you figured it out yet?  You don’t need to run from me.  I’m willing to be whatever you need.  Even patient.”

He ran, and I held on.

We stopped by the lake on the way back and picked some vegetables for a stew to go with the four rabbits Thomas said Gregory and Mary had waiting.  I was ready to run the rest of the way but he insisted on carrying me again.  All the constant, little brushes of skin here and there caused a long lasting blush.

When we finally entered the yard, I sighed with relief.

“I only meant to keep you company,” Thomas said softly as he set me to my feet.

“You did.  I’ll just bring these in,” I said about the carrots, onions, and parsnips held in the bottom of my shirt.  I turned and fled inside.

I felt guilty over my agitation.  I wasn’t annoyed with him.  I was annoyed with myself.  I didn’t like being bitten, yet I couldn’t help feeling attracted to Thomas.  What kind of mixed signals was I sending him?  Plus, Claiming wouldn’t even work on me.  What would happen when families started showing up with young girls like me?  One was bound to pique Thomas’ interest.  And where would I be?  Standing in a corner with a broken heart.

I needed to keep myself busy.  If Mary couldn’t spend time with me, I needed to seek out Ann.  Hopefully, the families would start coming soon.

*    *    *    *

Something heavy pressed me down into the mattress.  It wasn’t a sudden weight that woke me but one of which I slowly became aware as I struggled to breathe.  It pinned my torso and legs.  I opened my eyes and blinked, trying to see in the dim light.  A familiar ear and dark wavy hair swam into focus.  His slow and steady breath warmed my neck.

What did he think he was doing?  Sleeping in my room with permission to protect me was one thing, but in my bed—no, not even in my bed but on me—that was something else.  I frowned and tried to wiggle free.  He didn’t budge, didn’t twitch.  His breathing remained uninterrupted.

His chest pinned my left arm but not my right.  I grabbed his shoulder and pushed.  No reaction.

“Thomas,” I whispered.  “Wake up.”  His breathing didn’t change in the slightest.

What was his deal?  I’d never seen him sleep this hard before.  I paused and realized I’d never seen him sleep.  The times he was with me, he was always awake before I woke.  That just meant he slept less, didn’t it?

I pulled in another breath.

“Thomas,” I said right in his ear.  Nothing.

I hesitated calling out for help.  Mary and Gregory were in the room right next to us, the room her Dad and Uncle had used.  They would hear.  But did I really want them coming in here?  Thomas was heavy but not really hurting me.  Yet.  I didn’t know how much longer I’d be able to stand his weight, though.  Since he wasn’t doing more than sleeping, it didn’t feel right using my will either.

“Now what?” I whispered into the dark.

I turned my head slightly.  My mouth was right next to his ear.  He’d once told me he’d like it if I bit him.  I grinned in the dark a moment before I nipped the firm shell of his undamaged ear.