(Un)bidden (29 page)

Mary’s eyes rounded, and a snort escaped her.  She bit her bottom lip to keep from laughing outright.  Gregory walked into the room, eyed Mary, and came to stand behind her.  I didn’t fail to notice he positioned himself just as Thomas had with me.

“Congratulations,” he said, meeting my eyes.

“Thank you,” I said, quietly.  The heat refused to leave my face.  “Mary, let’s make breakfast.”

I walked away from everyone and immediately missed Thomas’ touch.  A gentle wave of reassurance washed over me.  Feeling these emotions that weren’t my own was disorienting and scary.  What was he feeling from me?  He already knew when I lied and that I kept secrets.  Would he feel when I used my ability?  Would he know, then?

Would he tell Winifred?  And would Winifred then see me as a threat as she’d hinted?

When the rest of Thomas’ pack returned for dinner that evening, a few gave me long looks and nods of acknowledgement but no one acted any differently.  Except Anton.  As I scooped a portion of the food onto his plate, his nostrils flared.

“Claimed?”

“So I’ve been told,” I said, handing him his plate.

He glanced around and saw Thomas watching us.  “Normally, I’d say congratulations.  But I think you’ll need luck instead.”

A trickle of annoyance reached me, and I knew it was Thomas.  Anton stepped away and took his seat as Thomas started toward me.  When he reached me, he moved to stand behind me and rested his hands lightly on my shoulders.  It was comforting.  He stayed with me until everyone was fed.  Then he left the main room with the rest.

After cleaning up, I went to play with Ann’s baby for a while before going upstairs.  I was nervous.  What would he expect now that I’d Claimed him?  Yes, he’d said he wouldn’t take more than I was ready to give, but could I trust that?  Not only did the physical expectations concern me, but our apparent mental connection did, too.

I opened the door and found him standing in front of the window.  The last light was fading, and he’d already lit the lamp I kept in the bedroom.

“Excitement was the best thing I felt from you today,” Thomas said without turning.  “Your fear and constant worry...”  He sighed and turned to look at me.  “I will do everything in my power to turn this place into a safe home for you.”

He moved toward me, wrapped me in his arms, and kissed the top of my head.  I set my cheek against his chest and listened to his heart.  For a moment, I let all my fear and worry go.  Underneath, I found what he felt for me.  Adoration and respect flowed from him.

I wrapped my arms around him in turn.  A wisp of desire brushed against me, and my fear returned.  I dropped my arms to my side, and he exhaled his frustration.

“Your fear is torture.”  His hand smoothed down my back.  “Will you tell me, is it me?  The thought of losing this place?  I can’t fix what I don’t know,” he said, pulling back to study me.

“All of it and more,” I said honestly.  “If you think my fear is torture, the things you feel when you look at me...I’m struggling with my own feelings, I can’t deal with yours, too.  Everything is more confusing now than it was before.  I don’t know what to do.  What’s safe?  Will you keep your word and leave me be?  When the other’s return, will they agree with the Claim I unintentionally made?”  Will you discover my secrets?

“I can’t help what I feel for you, and I won’t apologize for it,” he said softly.  “My hope is that someday you’ll feel the same for me.  Until that happens, I’ll wait.  I’d like to continue sleeping in your room beside you, but nothing more.  Will you allow me that much?”

I wanted to say no.  I wanted to tell him to leave.  But since he’d pulled away from me, I felt empty and abandoned.  I didn’t understand why or if those were even my own emotions.  All I knew was that having him near made me feel safer and not so alone.

“Yes, you can sleep by me.”

He smiled, reached out to touch my cheek, then flooded me with comfort.  Before I could react, he left the room.  I wasn’t sure how, but I knew he waited right out in the hallway.  He wasn’t being impatient or aggressive.  Just protective.

I changed into the light shirt and cotton shorts I’d been using for sleeping and then climbed into bed.  I lay there tensely for a moment before I called him in.

My stomach churned nervously as he entered.  He didn’t look at me as he walked to the dresser and blew out the lamp.  I blinked in the sudden darkness, unable to see him.  The mattress dipped as he sat, and my heart stuttered.  His fingers touched my hair.

“So much fear because of so little trust.”

I stared in the direction of his voice and saw his vague shape.

“Trust has to be earned,” I said softly.  “If you recall, you bit me.”

“Only because you allowed it.”

I snorted.  “As if I had a choice.  I knew you wouldn’t leave it alone.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you, but I’m glad I didn’t leave it alone.”  He eased down next to me.  Lying on his side, he rested an arm over my middle.  The weight felt comforting rather than confining.

“Go to sleep, Charlene.”

Despite my racing heart, I somehow managed.

*    *    *    *

I woke with a weight on my chest, and for a disoriented moment, I panicked.  I pushed at the weight at the same time I struggled to kick off the covers.

“Shh.  It’s all right,” Thomas said as the weight disappeared.  I saw the vague outline of his head.

“What were you doing?” I asked, no longer trying to escape the covers.

He touched my hair and the weight settled back onto my chest.

“Listening to your heart.”

For a moment, I said nothing.  Would I ever understand Thomas?

“Why?”

“Sometimes, when you dream, your pulse races; and it sounds so fragile.  I don’t like it.  I whisper to you until it calms.”

His admission caught me off guard.  How often had he listened to my heart like this?  “Don’t you sleep?”

“I do.  Not very much, though.”

The idea that he stayed awake next to me should have been troubling.  So why wasn’t I troubled?  His fingers drifted from my hair to trace the curve of my jaw.  I closed my eyes and tried to relax.

“Am I allowed to kiss you?”

“No.”

I could picture him grinning at my abrupt answer.

“Sleep well, Charlene.”

“Stop staring at me, and I will.”

His chest vibrated with his laughter.  I couldn’t help grinning in return.

For the remainder of the night, I slept comfortably.  When I woke, I had the vague recollection of wanting to roll over at some point but being unable to do so because of a weight on me.  However, Thomas was already gone so I couldn’t ask him about it.

I dressed and went downstairs.  Before I entered the main room, I smelled breakfast, and my stomach rumbled.  Thomas stood before the stove, stirring something.  Mary and Gregory were at the table, glumly eyeing their bowls of oatmeal.

As I walked past the table to see what was left on the stove, I heard Mary’s comment to Gregory.

“Tomorrow, you wake up first.”

“Good morning,” Thomas said, drawing my attention.  I peeked over his shoulder and saw a pan with eggs and onions.  It wasn’t much.  Enough for two humans.

“Where did you find eggs?”

“I went to the marsh this morning,” he said scooping some egg onto a plate.  “For you.”  He handed me the plate.

I accepted it and turned away before I blushed.  He’d gone to the marsh just for me.  I couldn’t prevent my small smile as I sat next to Mary.

“What does everyone have planned for today?” I asked, taking my first bite.  I didn’t miss how Mary’s gaze tracked my food.

Gregory looked at Thomas for an answer as Thomas sat across from me.

“Bine took his things and walked into town after Winifred left.  That leaves Zerek in the workroom, creating more window coverings, and the rest went to see if the man at the yard needed more help.  What needs to be done around here?”

“Well...”  I thought about it for a moment.  The pile of wood outside was impressive.  They had long rows stacked high with logs driven into the ground to hold everything up.  And with Zerek working on the windows, I was less concerned about freezing this winter.  I was still worried about going hungry though.

“If Leif has time, maybe he can show us what to collect to make baskets.  While we’re out there, we could weed the garden and get a really good look at what we have.”

“I’ll talk to Leif while you finish eating,” Gregory said, standing.

“We’ll leave for the marsh when you return,” Thomas said with a nod.

I was excited to get out and do something active.  I quickly ate my eggs and pretended not to notice when Mary stole a small bite.

*    *    *    *

Hours later, I sat down in the chair with a groan.  My lower back didn’t just ache; it burned from the strain of the hours I’d spent pulling weeds and picking reeds.  Pain radiated from my hips to mid-back.  I just wanted to lie in my bed, but it seemed too far to walk.

Mary sat next to me with a grunt and set her armful of cattail leaves on the table.  Gregory and Thomas were making another trip back to the marsh for the rest of the cattail leaves we’d harvested.

“You need better ideas,” Mary said, leaning back.

“I thought werewolves were all tough and strong.”  I couldn’t even lean back.  My spine was set to forward only.  I rested my face on the table.

“Weeds will kill us,” Mary said.  I snickered.

The main doors opened, but I didn’t look up.  I couldn’t.

“How did the gathering go?” Leif asked.

I reached out a hand and lifted a frond.

He chuckled.

“Does this mean you won’t want to start working on baskets today?”

“Nope.  No basket weaving,” Mary said for me.  I heard her stand.  “Will you help me pump water?”

At first, I thought she was talking to me but then Leif answered, “Yes.”  With relief, I stayed at the table a few more minutes before I struggled to my feet.

“I’m going to lie down,” I said.

“You sure?  They’re bringing back fish for dinner, and I have water heating for a bath.”

I smelled like marsh and sweat but didn’t care.

“I’m sure.  Tell Thomas to let me sleep.  Even if it’s through dinner,” I said shuffling to the door.  “And if he lays his head on me tonight, he’ll lose it.”

She snorted a surprised laugh just before the door closed behind me.

I trudged my way upstairs, stripped from my smelly clothes, and feebly dressed myself in my shorts and shirt.  With a groan, I sank onto my mattress.  Typically, I slept on my back.  However, when I tried to lie that way, it hurt too much.  Lying on my stomach hurt even more.  So I curled on my side and tried to relax.

*    *    *    *

Heat pressed against my lower back in rhythmic sweeping moves.  It ached, but in a good way.  I let out a sigh that was a half groan and snuggled deeper into my pillow.  The pressure increased on my back, easing some of the soreness.  I curled up more, bringing my knees level with my hips.  The warm sweeping pressure continued, undisturbed by my movement.

I sighed and drifted back to sleep.

*    *    *    *

I woke with a confined stretch.  Something wrapped around me.  A blanket.  I untangled myself and slowly sat up, not opening my eyes.  My back cracked in several places.  It was still sore, but nothing like it had been when I’d gone to bed.

I stayed there, sitting on the mattress for several seconds as I debated if I wanted to open my eyes and officially wake up, or if I wanted to lay down and try to go back to sleep.  My head hit the pillow.  However, lying on my back wasn’t comfortable.  I rolled to my side.  My shoulder hurt a little, and I guessed I’d spent a lot of time on my side last night.

Fingers gently dug into the muscles of my lower back and startled my eyes open.  I twisted in bed and saw Thomas sitting on the edge of the mattress.

“You slept a long time,” he said, keeping his eyes on my exposed back.

I glanced at the window and noted early morning light.  I felt his concern.  This time it was my turn to send out some reassurance.  If only I could figure out how.  I settled for words.

“I’m thinking about sleeping longer,” I said, relaxing my head against the pillow.  “Especially if you keep doing that.”

With my face pressed against the pillow, I smelled marsh and wrinkled my nose.  On top of an already sore back, I would need to do laundry.

“Hmm.  Does that mean I should tell the new family what room to pick?”

I sat up quickly, dislodging his attentive fingers.  “New family?”

“Yes.  A Mated pair and their cub.  A little boy about two.”

I was up, out of bed, and frantically searching for clothes.  A family.  It was a start to what I saw this place could be.  Hope and excitement filled me, along with Thomas’ amusement.

“They’re eating oatmeal in the main room.  Come down when you’re ready,” he said, standing.