Unbind My Heart (32 page)

Opening the door of the cab, Mara twisted and stuck her injured leg with the stiff half boot out first.  Struggling with the crutches in the tight space, she juggled her purse and scooted forward, which was no easy feat.  Luck as usual was against her, and her hand slipped. She watched helplessly as one crutch fell to the pavement, the rubber-tipped end hitting first so that it bounced just out of reach.  Holding onto the door, she stretched to her limit, reaching and straining for it.  Fearing she’d take a header onto the concrete and injure herself more, she sat up, cursing under her breath.  Finally, using the other crutch to hook it, she emerged from the back seat out of breath and slightly sweaty.  Tottering precariously, she reached back in and handed over the fare to the cabbie.  He hadn’t even offered to help her with the door or her crutches so she stiffed him on the tip, feeling not one iota of guilt, the big jerk. 

As he pulled away, she barely controlled the urge to aim a very rude hand gesture his way.  Standing on the wide concrete sidewalk outside the tall downtown high-rise that housed Rossi Security Inc., she took a deep breath to center herself.  She didn’t have an appointment, but she couldn’t live with the guilt anymore.  She had to talk to someone about what she knew.   

Hoping that Jonas was in the office, or Lil T, she painstakingly made her way up the ramp to the main entrance.  It was a revolving door, jeez-oh-crap!  She had already entered the carousel-like death trap when the security guard called to her.

“Ma’am, there’s another door to the left.”

Too little, too late. She hobbled awkwardly on her crutches, hopping occasionally to keep up with the spinning door.  It went faster than she remembered, but it had been a long time since she used a revolving door so she could be wrong.  She was almost in the clear when the end of one crutch caught on something and jerked from her hand.  Pitched forward and off balance, she saw the floor rising up toward her face.  At the last minute, strong hands caught her.

Once she was upright and the crutch was returned, she looked up at her rescuer to thank him.  The familiar face had any words of gratitude dying on her lips.

“Mara,” Cap said abruptly, his brusque manner and closed expression similar to that of his wife and sister-in-law from earlier that week.  “What business brings you here?”

“Um… I, uh,” she stammered.  Feeling like a fool, she tried again.  “I was hoping to talk to Jonas.”

“He’s unavailable.”

“How about Lil T?”

“Also, not possible.  Do you have a personal matter with my men or is this business related?”

“Maybe I’ll come back when they’re here.”

“Maybe you should tell me what brought you here and quit playing games.”

Mara swallowed.  She’d always been intimidated by Cap.  Like Sean and the others, he was tall, muscular, handsome as sin and strong as a bull, but Cap had a dose of something extra.  As Sean’s commanding officer for years and then his boss, maybe it was the position of authority that made her think that way.  Most likely, it was the power that radiated from his badass take-no-shit demeanor, which unfortunately was directed at her and made her think she should either run like hell or hide under the nearest table.

“I’m waiting, Mara.”

Her submissive nature responded to the authority in his voice.  Although she hadn’t played in the lifestyle in years, she had been trained to answer to that tone of command.  Trying to suppress her years of training, she said softly, “Maybe I should talk to General Davis, instead.”

“No.”  His patience obviously had run its course, because he lifted her with one strong arm around her waist.  Gathering her crutches in his other hand, he held her against his hip and carried her toward the elevator like a sack of potatoes.

Shocked speechless, she hung limp under his arm. Her voice returned as the elevator doors closed them in and they began their ascent to the uppermost floor.  “I’d like to leave, please.”

“And I’d like some answers.  Once I get what I want, you can have what you want.”  The doors opened with a ding, and she found herself being carried down a wide, carpeted hallway.  “I’m taking you to my office where you will fill me in on the nature of your business.  Then I’ll call Joanna to come fetch you.  You’re obviously not ready to be out and about on your own yet.”

“I’m fine, Sir.”

“No, you’re not.  If I hadn’t been there to stop your fall, you would have beefed it onto the hard marble floor.  You’d have been bruised and banged up at the very least.  Or you could be dealing with busted teeth or a bloody nose right about now.”

She couldn’t argue with that and remained silent.  Arriving at a set of double doors, he somehow managed to open them with his hands full, and then carried her through the lobby where the receptionist looked up in surprise.  “Hold my calls, Gina.  And if Sean’s in, tell him to join us.”

“No.  I don’t want to see him.”

“Tough.  Sean is one of my men, and I will not carry out business with his wife behind his back.  I know it is hard for you to understand, but we insist on honesty and integrity among the owners, here at Rossi and at The Club.”

Worried about another unpleasant face-off with Sean, she could barely process his remarks as he carried her into his office and plunked her down in a large, leather chair in front of his desk. 

“I’ve changed my mind.  Please give me my crutches so I can go.”  With panicked eyes, she watched as he propped them against a bookshelf on the other side of the room.  Damn him!

“You can’t keep me here against my will.”

“Apparently, I can.”

Mara glared at him in frustration, tears prickling against the backs of her eyes.  She reached into her purse for her phone deciding to call Joanna right now.  She’d barely thumbed it on before broad fingers pulled it from her grasp.  Looking up, she saw Cap propped against his desk, arms folded over his chest.  He hadn’t moved.

“What are you doing here, Mara?”

She froze as Sean’s voice rumbled above her.

Hesitating only a second, with her ragged nerves on edge, she managed to state in a calm even tone, “I was leaving.  If you’ll give me my phone, I’ll call for a ride and you can go about your day.”

Ignoring her, Sean pocketed her phone and asked Cap, “Why is she here?”

“She hasn’t shared yet.  I found her in the lobby.  For some reason she was trying to get through the revolving door on crutches.  It wasn’t a pretty sight.  Wes is on today. He said she had the same problem getting out of her cab. She’s a menace on those things and needs a keeper.”

“Thankfully, that’s not my job anymore.” 

Sean’s voice was even colder than Cap’s and his words cut her to the quick.  Beginning to feel sick, she finally accepted what the little voice in her head had been telling her all morning.  This was a really bad idea.  She’d almost told the general, but she was afraid he would kick her out of his house.  She also didn’t think she could bear the look of scorn she knew she would see in Joanna’s eyes when she found out.

“Please can I have my phone back?”

“No.”  Sean practically barked his reply.  When he continued, his tone was more even.   “If you’re not going to explain the reason for your visit, we’ll take this opportunity to ask you a few questions of our own.”

Her head came up.  Looking at Cap gave her no clue so she turned to look at Sean, facing him for the first time since he’d entered the office.  A feeling of dread passed over her.  He must know already.  Cap, too.  Why else would they be treating her like dog crap on the bottom of their shoe?  A disgusting mess that was so foul it was dealt with quickly, and then forgotten forever, if you were lucky.      

“Do you have the file, Cap?”

“It’s on Jonas’ desk.”

“I’ll be right back.  Don’t let her leave.  I only want to do this once.”

“Sure, bud.”

Silence encompassed the room in his absence.  Mara resigned herself to answering whatever questions they might have before she could leave.  She should just tell Cap her story and get it over with.  Her short-term disability checks had started so she had enough money to stay at a motel for a few days if need be, at least until she found another apartment.

Unbelievably, her landlord had already rented out her old place.  Thankfully, he’d put her stuff in storage, for a ridiculously high fee, which once paid would allow her to get her furniture and belongings back.  The question was how.  She certainly couldn’t move it all while hobbling around on crutches.

“You really did a number on him.”

Cap’s voice startled her from her planning.

“What?”

“Sean.  You crushed him and the blows keep on coming.  It’d be best if you disclosed everything so he can move forward.”

“It’s been two years.  I would have thought he would have done that by now.”

“All this bullshit has brought it to the surface.  You need to end this today.”

“I was shot.  None of this is my fault.  I’m the victim here.”

“Why don’t I believe that, Mara?”

Indignant, she glared at him.  How dare he?  Yes, she had left Sean with little explanation, breaking his heart evidently and her own in the process.  That was on her. She accepted that.  What happened to her at the clinic that day could in no way be her fault.  

Sean came back at that moment, flipping through a thick file folder as he walked to Cap’s desk.  Hooking her chair with his foot, he dragged her closer.  He then began to lay out pictures; awful pictures of misdeeds she could never forget.  There in all their glory was a slide show of one of the most fucked-up events of her life, and that was saying something because her entire life was fucked up.  In all, there were a dozen pictures of her humiliation. 

“I want an explanation.”

Her throat had gone painfully tight and dry; she couldn’t speak.  In fact, she could barely breathe as he stared down at her and the proof of the horrible thing she had done.  She didn’t have a choice; the evil bastard hadn’t given her a choice. 

“It’s not what you think.”

“Really?”  His voice dripped with sarcasm and disdain as he jabbed his finger at an incriminating photo.  “You mean that’s not you playing Domme to Judge Jenkins and Shelby?”  He pointed at another.  “How about this one? That’s not you beating his ass with a riding crop while he fucks her?  Or this one,” he snarled, as he grabbed another one and held it up to her face.  “You’re not the bitch with an eight-inch strap-on buried in the judge’s throat?  The cheap wig isn’t much of a disguise.  All the guys recognized you when they saw it.”

“Please stop,” she sobbed as she turned away.

“Hell no,” he said, and his hand dug into the hair at the back of her head as he none too gently pulled her head back.  “You don’t get to sit there and turn on the water works.  I want the truth, Mara.  What the fuck did you do?”

“I didn’t fuck him, Lucky.”  Her nickname for him slipped out.

“Don’t call me that, dammit.  I don’t give a shit if you did fuck him, or if you fucked them both, or the entire goddamned club for that matter.  I’m so over this shit.  What I want to know is how you fucked over The Club and the people you called friends.  I want to know about the blackmail. Your arrangement with Shelby, and about any other fuckers who had their hands in this shit.”

A shuddering breath, just shy of a sob escaped her.  She’d left him to keep him from finding out about her past and having him hate her for it.  What a joke.  Because he hated her anyway, not for what she’d been but for what she’d done to cover it up. 

“Answer me, Mara.”  The hand in her hair tightened painfully.  It hurt, but the anger and loathing in his voice and the hatred in his eyes as he looked at her was crushing.  She felt like her mind and heart were going to explode.  She had to get out of there.  Struggling, she twisted, trying to get away.  The hand locked in her hair prevented it. 

“Please,” she cried softly, “you’re hurting me.”

“Sean.  Let her go.”

“You sure played me for a fool.”  Unadulterated disgust resounded in his voice as he released her.  Picking up an envelope from the desk, he shoved it into her hands along with her phone.  “Here are the divorce papers.  I signed them this time.”

Her eyes flew to his in shock.

He ignored her as he continued, “They were outdated, so I had to have them drawn up again.  Your signature gets us out of this travesty of a marriage, once and for all.”

“I thought—” Cap’s words from earlier suddenly registered.  He’d called her Sean’s wife.  Ohmigod!  All this time…”

“This time they will be filed.  My attorney will see to it and send you a copy.”

With that, he turned to leave.  He paused in the open doorway, looking back at Cap.  “Get a forwarding address, will you?  I’m done.  I can’t bear to look at her another minute.  I’ll swing by and pick up the papers after she’s gone.”

Then he walked away. 

Unable to control them anymore, the tears overflowed.  Remarkably, other than the tears, she kept it together.  She didn’t know how.  What little pride she had was ripped away long before this and well before Sean, if she was honest with herself. 

Miserable, Mara sat beneath the coldness of Cap Rossi’s unsympathetic stare.  His only response was to move a box of tissues within reach.