Authors: Angela Carling
No one had to tell Jennie; she saw it the second the image was pulled up. In futility, Jace tried to hide his guilt but his sweaty hands gave him away. For a minute, Jennie didn’t react, and Jace began to wonder if she’d missed the glaring truth. Instead, she stared at the huge image of her cheating boyfriend, trying to make some sense of what she was feeling. Anger, embarrassment and relief all bore down on her at the same time, but then after the first few seconds, anger rose to the top of the heap and took control.
Finally, accepting the fact that he had been caught, Jace held on to her hand unnaturally tightly and turned to face her burning eyes. They were already rimmed in red, but Jennie kept the tears at bay. She couldn’t help but think of Aria’s words that day in the bathroom.
Never let ‘em see you cry, she thought bitterly to herself as she put forth a Herculean effort to keep her emotions in check. She wouldn’t let Jace see her cry, he didn’t deserve to share her tears.
“It’s not what it looks like,” he tried.
Jennie shouldn’t have been, but she was stunned at his pure audacity. Her wide eyes moved to the screen and then back to Jace. All eyes were on them now. The source of entertainment had shifted from Reina to Jennie and Jace, and Reina didn’t do anything to take it back. On the gym floor, Nate rose to his feet and waited tensely, every muscle in his body ready to react if Jennie needed him. She didn’t. In one decisive movement, Jennie tore her hand from Jace’s tight grasp and delivered a blow with the palm of her hand across his cheek that was so loud the slapping sound echoed faintly through the gym. A collective gasp came from the crowd and initiated a new round of gossip among her classmates, but Jennie didn’t notice. She was already climbing down the stairs, kids parting like the Red Sea to let her through. As she descended, people she knew and some she didn’t patted her on the back and said things like “should’ve hit him harder” or “he doesn’t deserve you.” To Jennie it all sounded far away and detached, as if she were watching someone else’s pain instead of living it. She ignored her fellow students, focusing only on the voice in her head that urged her to get away from Jace as fast as she could. Once she reached the bottom of the bleachers, she broke out into a full sprint, heading straight for the double doors.
Nate ran to meet her, working hard to keep up with her brisk pace. The principle had come to the microphone to try to get control of the assembly again.
“People,” he called out over the buzzing of the student body. Some glanced his way, but most continued to talk. “People,” he tried again.
Nate reached the doors first and pushed them open, allowing Jennie to escape into the warm spring air. As soon as the door closed behind them with a heavy clank, all the chaos and noise of the gym faded away. Right away Jennie turned to Nate, commanding his full attention. Her eyes still burned with a fiery intensity that Nate knew could lead to more trouble if he said the wrong thing, so he stepped back a little and composed himself.
“Did you set this up?” she demanded, keeping her eyes level with his.
At that very moment, Marissa, who had somehow escaped the bedlam of the gym, pushed her way through the heavy double doors.
“Nate had nothing to do with this,” she stated forcefully before the doors even closed behind her. “Neither of us did, although we both knew he was cheating. Jace getting caught like that was dumb luck.”
Jennie’s eyes glistened in the sun as the tears began to force their way out. She felt so vulnerable, so abused. Worst of all, standing with her best friend and the boy she loved, she still felt so alone.
She would never let them know this, though. She moved close to Marissa, looking for answers that might take some of the sting out of this painful moment. Jennie knew, no matter what, Marissa would never lie to her, even if it meant their friendship.
“Do you swear to me that neither of you had anything to do with those pictures?” She asked, still breathing heavily from her hasty departure.
“I swear,” Marissa replied, her voice low and steady and her eyes meeting Jennie’s gaze head on.
Jennie let out a heavy sigh, not of relief but of defeat. The anger was wearing off now and the pain was setting in. She looked at Nate and then Marissa. She believed them, yet somehow it didn’t make her feel any better. Now beginning to feel physically weak and emotionally spent she turned to them one last time and said, “I want to go home.”
Nate didn’t know what to do. Once again, he felt powerless to help her. He wanted to reach out and grab her hand, he wanted to wrap his arms around her and comfort her until all the heartache went away, but he couldn’t. Instead, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and squeezed his fists open and closed, trying to burn off the frustration he felt.
Realizing she had said all she wanted to say, Jennie turned and walked toward the school parking lot. Nate watched her walk away until she was almost to the gate and then something inside of him broke free. He couldn’t stand idly by any longer, at least without trying to make it better.
Marissa saw the opportunity, too.
“Go,” she said fervently.
Nate went from standing still to a full sprint in seconds and met her at the gate. Without asking for her permission, he wrapped his arms around her and said, “I am so sorry,” over and over. Jennie didn’t know if he was sorry for the pain Jace had caused or the heartache he had brought into her life, but it didn’t matter. Nate’s words broke what was left of Jennie’s strength and her tears began to spill, one rising up as soon as the other fell. The familiar tingling sensation came as Nate’s skin touched hers but even that was not enough to soothe her aching heart. In fact, it only served as a reminder of Nate’s rejection, of the relationship that would never be. She knew he was trying to help, but instead, his kindness only made her feel worse.
“I have to go,” she said, using what was left of her willpower to pull away. Nate didn’t try to hold her. He knew she’d made up her mind. Still, he had to look away as he heard the creaking of the hinges of the large metal gate closing behind her. His stomach churned and his throat suddenly felt dry as walked back to the gym to get his backpack. Weeks had turned into days and days had turned into hours. All he’d been given to earn Jennie’s friendship was gone and now the time left to do his job and to be near her could almost be measured in minutes.
That night, for the first time ever, Nate stepped into Jennie’s room and disappeared into the background to watch her sleep. The rise and fall of her chest was soothing to him as he wrestled with his choices, which were now extremely limited. Since their fallout on New Year’s Eve, Nate had been working very hard to follow the rules. He’d hoped, somehow, his obedience would make everything work out, but so far his life and job were a total mess. In his desperation, he considered physically holding her back or tricking her in some way so that she wouldn’t go on the trip with her parents. Those thoughts came and went quickly without merit. Taking away people’s freedom to choose was never part of a protector’s arsenal. Finally, about 5 a.m., Nate made his decision. He would try honesty and hope for the best.
When the sun began to push its way up over the horizon at 6:10, Nate was still in her room, savoring every last minute he had with her. Before long, the hazy grey of morning began to give way to the emerging light of day. Merciless time was gone, just like the dark night before, and now, Nate knew that like time, he must move forward.
Without making a noise or even rustling the air around his being, he moved to Jennie’s bedside and kissed her delicately on the cheek.
“I love you, Jennie,” he whispered in the still of the room and then, he was gone.
Jennie opened her eyes and squinted against the morning sunlight. Her swollen eyes burned after hours of tears the day before and her muscles ached with exhaustion. As if it might make her feel better, she squeezed her eyes shut and then tried again, this time looking around her room instead of straight at the sunlight streaming through the window.
Nate was long gone, although she wouldn’t have seen him anyway.
When she felt ready, she looked at her clock: 7:08. She hadn’t set an alarm. Jennie had no intention of going to school today. She was considering never going back to school if the days were anything like yesterday. Instead of getting up, she stretched out until her toes touched the end of the bed and then immediately curled back up beneath her covers. Somewhere in the house, she could hear her mom’s footsteps. She knew her mom would be scurrying around getting ready for their trip. Kate was already at her friend’s house and would be going to school with their family today. Her father would be working half of the day and loading up the car when he got home so that they could leave mid-afternoon. All these familiar sounds should’ve gotten her excited about their upcoming trip, or at least been soothing to her, but they weren’t. She felt anything but enthused about her life. First Nate rejected her and then she let herself become the victim again by trusting Jace. What was wrong with her that neither boy wanted her and only her? Jennie could actually feel herself wallowing in a mud bog of self-pity, yet she made no attempt to escape. It was less painful to stay there, wallowing and ignoring the world.
Her mother’s footsteps changed pattern. She was coming upstairs now. Jennie pulled the covers over her head but she could still hear her mother heading her way.
Gently, Cathy pushed open the bedroom door and peered inside. “Jennie,” she called out softly, “you need to get up.” Jennie thought about ignoring her, but quickly realized her mom wouldn’t give up until she saw Jennie’s face. Slowly, she pulled the covers down, revealing her swollen and bloodshot eyes.
“Oh,” her mother didn’t hide her surprise. “Yesterday took its toll on you.”
Jennie’s mom came and sat down on the bed and wrapped her arms around her oldest daughter and held her through her blankets. When she pulled back, she managed a small smile.
“This will pass,” she promised, then with obvious determination walked over to Jennie’s window and pulled back the curtains, letting the sunlight spill across the floor.
“I’m going to get some ice packs for those eyes,” her mother stated, “and when I get back, you will get out of bed and start packing for our trip.”
Jennie could tell by her voice that she meant business. Her mom always thought the best way to get over a failure was to keep moving forward. She’d heard the story about how her mother fell down over a hundred times learning how to roller skate, but still got back up. Jennie groaned and forced herself to sit up, knowing resistance would just prolong her mother’s prodding. Like it or not, she was going to have to face the day.
* * *
While Jennie pulled out her suitcases, Nate was doing some packing of his own. Around two, he carefully placed Sebastian’s things into a box. Jennie’s boss had already found a new family for Sebastian. Assuming he didn’t revert to his wild ways, he would do fine in his new home. Nate picked Sebastian up and cradled him in his arms. Sebastian melted into his owner and let him scratch his furry belly.
“You’ll have a new family by tomorrow,” Nate told the feline. “Be good for them.”
When he was done, he gently set the cat down and watched him scamper off to the other room. He would miss the little troublemaker. He would miss everything about this assignment. Celeste had already come by to check on him. When Nate confessed that he still had no idea how he was going to keep Jennie from going on the trip with her parents, Celeste offered no encouragement or advice. Instead, she looked at him and said, “You know it isn’t over until the fat lady sings.” In response, Nate rolled his eyes and went to the cupboard to find the chocolate bars he had been saving for her. Celeste happily took her loot and finished with, “Either way, I’ll erase you from Jennie’s memory by tomorrow night.”
Nate sighed. At least he knew Jennie wouldn’t remember him, succeed or fail. No one ever remembered his or her protector. This was by design; otherwise, humans would run around feeling abandoned by their guardians. Just before Celeste pulled the door closed behind her Nate called out, “wait.”
She grumbled in the doorway but stopped.
“Can you erase me from Sebastian’s mind, too?” Nate asked.
Celeste snorted. “Don’t flatter yourself,” she responded, “That cat won’t remember you for long anyway.”
Leave it to Celeste to be honest to a fault. Almost as soon as the door closed behind Celeste, Nate felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled up the text message, hoping it was from Jennie. Instead, he was surprised to learn that it was from Celeste.
It read:
By the way, I still believe in you—Celeste.
Nate smiled weakly. He still felt nervous about what the day would bring, but it was nice to know he had Celeste’s support even if she wouldn’t admit it in person.
After one last look around the apartment for stray cat toys, Nate loaded the cat supplies and Sebastian in the car. All the way to the pet store, Sebastian made a terrible wailing sound as if he understood his fate. Trying his best not to get emotional, Nate carried the feline into the store and dropped him off. Jennie’s manager promised to watch him until his new owners arrived. Ignoring the feeling in the pit of his stomach, Nate stroked Sebastian’s plush fur coat one last time and then left without looking back. It was now time to face the task that he had been dreading for months. It was finally time to do everything in his power to save Jennie Townsend.
Nate climbed into his Mustang and headed straight for Jennie’s house. As he drove past the towering palms and landscaped yards, he thought about the past six months and wondered how it would all turn out. Marissa had passed on vital information. Jennie’s family planned to leave around four o’clock and drive late into the night to get to Santa Barbara. Nate had a few hours and a sketchy plan. If all else failed, he would wing it. Hopefully, it would be enough.
At 3:22, Nate pulled up in front of Jennie’s house. Clouds had been building in the sky for the last several hours and now they were thick enough to obscure the sun. In the distance, even darker clouds loomed, making Nate wonder for the first time exactly how Jennie’s parents would lose their lives. As quickly as the thought came, he had to push it away. He forced himself to focus on the job and only the job. If he didn’t, the unknown details would only become yet another distraction.