Authors: Angela Carling
Jennie would be all right, Celeste had promised. Nate knew hundreds of comforting angels were waiting for the word, and then they would surround her with strength and comfort better than he could ever provide.
Nate took a big breath and climbed out of his Mustang. Just as he began to walk up the cement walkway, Jennie’s dad came through the front door carrying a large suitcase.
“Nate!” he said, not even attempting to hide his surprise as he met him on the sidewalk. “It’s so good to see you!”
Nate walked up to Jennie’s father and greeted him with a handshake.
“Thank you, sir,” he said. “Is Jennie home?”
The wrinkles on her father’s forehead deepened. “Jennie’s here, but she’s not too happy and may not even talk to you,” he warned.
“I understand,” Nate said, “but I’m willing to take the risk.”
Without another word, Alex turned and walked him to the door. Once they were inside, Jennie’s father called out to her.
“Jennie, someone’s here to see you.”
Nate could hear her walking, her footsteps sounding listless and defeated as came down the hall and out to the front room. He visibly cringed. She was still upset. That could only make it harder for him to save her life. When she walked around the corner, Nate was taken aback by her appearance. She must’ve showered late in the day because her dark hair was still wet and the curls hung limply around her face. She wore no makeup and her eyes, despite the ice packs her mother had given her, were still swollen and tinged with red.
“Hi,” he said softly as she approached. Jennie’s dad took the opportunity to slip out of the room leaving them alone.
Seconds later, Jennie’s mom, completely unaware that Nate was there, breezed through the living room carrying a large fern from the dining room into the kitchen to be soaked with water.
“Well, this is a good surprise,” she said to Nate, peering at him between the feathery spikes of the fern she was holding.
“Here, let me,” Nate said, taking the heavy plant out of Cathy’s hands and carrying it to the kitchen sink. Jennie shuffled along behind them.
“Thanks, Nate,” Jennie’s mom said sweetly and then added, “Why don’t I give you two some privacy?”
Jennie could see where this was all going. Her parents loved Nate and were not-so-subtly trying to get them together, even though she’d told her mother that Nate had rejected her.
“It’s okay, Mom,” Jennie spoke up. “Nate and I can talk in my room while I finish packing.”
As Nate followed Jennie down the hall, his heart began to pound in his chest. Would she listen to him? Did she still respect him enough to heed his warning?
Once they were alone in Jennie’s room, Jennie closed the door, sat down on the bed near her half empty suitcase, and began sifting through the contents, taking some things out and pulling others from the nearby dresser.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in school?” She asked him bluntly, as she packed.
“I was worried about you,” he admitted.
For one fleeting moment, Nate thought he saw a flicker of confusion in her green eyes. Did she really believe he didn’t care about her? This realization was stunning to him, revelatory, even. As he watched her haphazardly throw clothes into her suitcase, only one thought gave Nate a small measure of comfort; at least she was listening now.
“I worry about you every day,” he blurted out, awkwardly finishing his original thought.
Jennie whipped her head around to glare at him. Not the reaction he’d expected. Suddenly, the listlessness was gone, replaced by hostility, and the worst part was that the angry vibe was directed toward him.
“You don’t love me but you worry about me every day?” she threw back at him, wielding her words like a protective sword.
Stay with honesty, Nate reminded himself. “Yes, and I miss you constantly and I need to tell you something very important.”
Jennie couldn’t believe her ears. What was Nate trying to say? Jennie felt her breath catch in her throat. She’d spent the last two months telling herself that there was no chance she and Nate would ever be together, and now as they sat on the edge of the bed, Jennie could actually feel a shift, like doors that had been closed were opening just a crack.
Jennie moved closer to him and her expression softened just a little, but her hands stayed clenched together defensively as if that could protect her fragile heart.
Nate caught her gaze and held it, his steely blue eyes searching hers.
“Do you still trust me?” he asked pointedly.
Jennie knew she did, but was scared to make herself vulnerable. Nate still held her heartstrings, and she couldn’t take the pain of his rejection again. For some unexplainable reason, being pushed away by Nate was worse than Jace’s betrayal, ten times more painful, and she was not equipped to take another blow so soon.
“Why do you ask if I trust you?” she asked cautiously.
“Because I need to tell you something that won’t make any sense, but I need you to listen to me.”
Jennie reached out her hand to touch him, but he instinctively pulled back. She recoiled, obviously hurt by his reaction. It was now or never and Nate knew it. What little was left of his credibility was quickly slipping away along with his chance to save her life. He took a deep breath, much like the one he had taken all those months ago as he studied her picture in the quiet of his room. He needed to soothe himself, yet at the same time, he needed to muster indomitable courage to continue. Just as it had before, the cleansing breath steeled him up and he pushed on.
“I know you don’t understand why I do certain things,” he began carefully crafting his words, “but you have to know how much I care about you.”
Jennie began twirling one of her damp curls around her finger. “And?” she coaxed.
“And I need you to not go on this trip with your parents.”
Finally, Nate had spit out the words that had felt like acid burning in his throat all day. He had been guarding these vital words for so long that releasing them felt liberating, even exhilarating. Nate felt such relief that for a moment, that relief distracted him and he forgot to watch Jennie’s reaction.
Jennie stood up abruptly. Any residual listlessness was gone, replaced with a fire in her eyes that Nate had seen before and had hoped never to see again. She stood before him, her body tense and her lips pursed tight in anger. Nate was beginning to wonder if making Jennie angry was what he did best.
“You come in here after breaking my heart into a million pieces and ask me to trust you and not go on this vacation with my family, my last family vacation before I go to college, and then you don’t even tell me why!”
Nate stood up and began to try to diffuse her anger. “I know it’s an odd request,” he said, “but…”
Jennie cut him off before he could finish. Her voice had risen several decibels and it didn’t look like it was coming down anytime soon.
“Why?” she demanded, “I want to know why you come to me with this crazy request.”
It was a reasonable question but there was no reasonable response. What was he going to tell her?
Because I am your guardian angel and I know best?
Not only would he be breaking the cardinal, never-to-be-broken rule, but she’d think he was crazy and dismiss him. Nate wracked his brain, trying to find a way to explain without revealing his true nature. His hesitation was enough. Jennie’s shoulders slumped. She walked over to her half-packed suitcase and zipped it up before lugging it out the door.
“If that’s all you came here to say, then it’s time for you to leave,” she spat angrily.
Even as she told him to go, she knew he wouldn’t leave without a fight. Trying her best to ignore his presence, she pulled her suitcase down the stairs, making a dull thumping sound with each new stair she hit.
“Dad,” she called out in the stairwell, her voice now sounding less angry and more desperate, “Are we ready to go?”
Her father appeared in the living room, looking concerned.
“Did you call me, sweetheart?” he called up in return.
Jennie was fighting valiantly to hold back the tears, but quickly losing ground. Nothing made sense anymore. When Nate showed up, she was sure it meant he loved her. Now, seeing him there but not hearing those three vital words…well, it was more than she could take.
“Yes, Daddy,” she said, her voice sounding strained. “I wanted to know if we were ready to get out of here!”
Nate stood several feet behind her looking equally despondent. Her father didn’t know what was going on, he just knew his little girl wanted to escape and he wanted to protect her.
“Yes,” he replied quickly, “we only need to load a few more things. Why don’t you go wait in the car?”
Grateful for the chance to slip away, Jennie dropped her suitcase at her father’s feet and mumbled goodbye to Nate before slipping out the door. As soon as she was gone, Jennie’s father flipped around and narrowed his eyes at Nate.
“I don’t know what you said to her, son,” he began, gently but firmly, “but she has been hurt enough by high school boys that don’t treat her right. I need you to leave now.”
As Nate stood facing Jennie’s father, the emotions of the last seven months began building up inside of him, simmering uncomfortably close to the surface. This journey was not just about Jennie. He had suffered heartache, too. Nothing had gone as planned. He’d faced his own weaknesses and persevered despite them. Now, as he stood facing Jennie’s father, he wondered why, out of all the amazing guardians, he was chosen for this job. Why him, why this girl? This last question seemed to tear through him like no other question he’d ever faced, searing him with white-hot truth, and painful vulnerability. Then almost immediately, with an equal amount of force, Celeste’s earlier words, like haunting remembrances, came back to his mind, giving him the answer he so desperately needed.
“You see, Nate, I stood up for you because it was that passion that saved her life tonight and in the end will save her life again.”
Suddenly, Nate understood with flawless clarity what Celeste was trying to say all those months ago. Nate was chosen to help Jennie because he would love her and would do whatever it took save her. Loving her more than he loved himself, that’s what Celeste had seen in him so long ago. That’s why he was chosen.
He knew what he must do. He must break a critical rule. He also knew that by doing that forbidden thing, he would never be a guardian again, losing his privileged place among their ranks.
With perfect harmony between his mind and heart, Nate looked Jennie’s father directly in the eyes and boldly declared, “No sir, I won’t leave until I have told Jennie that I love her.”
Nate heard a delighted squeal come from the kitchen, and soon Jennie’s mother popped her head through the door and said, “I knew it!”
An almost imperceptible smile began to tug at the corners of Nate’s lips. Then, as he straightened up and looked to her father for permission to talk to Jennie again his smile spread quickly, becoming full blown.
Jennie’s father grumbled. He didn’t deal very well with boys chasing his daughter. He knew that with relationships came pain, yet he knew keeping her from Nate was not the right thing to do.
“We’re driving out right now,” Alex said gruffly. “You have one more chance to talk to her and no matter how she responds, we’re leaving in five minutes.”
Jennie’s mom looked lovingly at her husband and then back to Nate. “I’m going to get the cooler from the kitchen and then I‘ll be out…Go!” she urged.
Nate didn’t have to be told twice. He was to the door and out to the car before Jennie’s father could change his mind. When he reached Jennie, he found her with her knees tucked close to her chest, her headphones on and her head down. Nate knocked on the window trying not to startle her. Jennie looked up at him as if she were already expecting him but didn’t open the door or roll down the window.
“I need to talk to you,” he said through the window.
Inside, Cathy held the cooler in her arms as she peered through the large bay window in the front room. Jennie’s dad stood nervously behind her, ready to move if Jennie looked the least bit upset.
Jennie continued to stare at him, but didn’t say anything. “I need to tell you something important, something I should’ve said months ago, or maybe the first time my hand touched yours.”
Jennie kept her gaze steady, almost seeming to stare past him.
“So say what you want to say,” she said curtly through the glass. Nate could tell her defenses were solidly up, and reaching her would be nothing short of a miracle. He didn’t care; nothing would stop him at this point.
“I love you, Jennie Townsend,” he said each word slowly, loudly and distinctly, but he wasn’t done. “I love you and I need to know if you love me.”
At first, Nate wondered if she’d heard him, because she didn’t move. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of waiting to Nate, Jennie unlocked the door and pushed it open. When Nate looked down into the car and saw her eyes welling up and her hands trembling, he dropped to his knees on the abrasive cement driveway, anything to be closer to her, anything to make her feel better.
“I can’t explain why I’ve never told you before, but you must know that I love you with all of my heart and I would give up everything for just one day to hold you in my arms.”
Then Nate did what Jennie had dreamt of from the first minute she realized she was in love with him. He took her by the hands and pulled her from the car to stand with him. Gently, he pulled her body close to his, letting their skin touch, unobstructed and without limitation. The warm and soothing sensation came quickly and with unbroken power, flowed between them, making every hair on Jennie’s body stand on end. It felt as if light itself was coursing through her veins, and her thoughts began to crystallize in a way she had never experienced. Before she even had time to understand these sensations, Nate pulled her even closer, cupping her face in his hands and then, with a feather light touch, he placed his lips on hers.
First Jennie was struck by the warm salty taste of his lips and then a connection with him that was like nothing she’d ever experienced or even imagined. She literally felt her mind open up, and light, experiences, and knowledge began to flow from some source that had been previously kept from her. She could almost feel the walls between her past and the present burst like a dam, and memories began to flow like an unrestrained river. It became a movie running through her head, scenes from her life before she was born on earth, and in each scene was Nate. He was beautiful and exuded light everywhere he went. Most of all, he loved her with a perfect, unbreakable love.