Unclaimed (21 page)

I ran my hand through my hai
r and leaned back in my chair.  Leaving Pru had been my biggest regret and now it was ignoring her.

Jonas sat with me while I was lost in thought.

“I love her,” I finally blurted out.

“I know,” Jonas said.

“I want her back.”  I did.  I wanted her back even before I knew she was pregnant and now even more so.  My mother would tell me it was fate.

“What are you going to do about it?”

“Whatever I can.”

I had given her up so easily after her parents had so carefully planted seeds of dou
bt in my head but not anymore.  I loved Pru and I knew that she still loved me even if she denied it.  Then it dawned on me.  She had never denied loving me.  I would do any and everything I possibly could to win her back.

Chapter 18

Prudence

It had been two days since I’d seen Lincoln at Starbucks.  Two days and since I had felt my hopes be built up and broken all over again.  I wasn’t sure how I felt.  I was beyond confused.

I love
d him.  I truly did.  I thought that I moved on, well, maybe not moved on but at least come to terms with it.  I hadn’t.  I had only fallen more in love with him.  Apparently absence does make the heart grow fonder.

Even though I still love
d him I was not ready to forgive him.  I didn’t trust him.  He crushed me.  He had let my parents get to him and destroy us.  Then he hadn’t even looked back.  I had called him at least once a day for months and he didn’t even answer or return my calls.  Love or not I was still angry with him.

When he asked about us and told me he loved me I wanted to leap into h
is arms and tell him the same.  Pretend like the last few months hadn’t happened but I couldn’t.  I was finally starting to act semi normal instead of walking around like a zombie.  When he broke up with me it crushed me.  My heart was completely broken.

I had to protect myself. 
I couldn’t survive that again and this time I had more than myself to think about.  I had to worry about our baby.  The baby I already loved whole-heartedly.  I would never keep him from the baby.  I knew he’d be a wonderful father but I had to protect my heart.  I just couldn’t do that to myself again.

It was a good thing that he hadn’t t
ried to call because I probably wasn’t strong enough to push him away for long.  If he called and made any attempt I probably would have crumbled but he hadn’t called.  It was also very possible that I might have had the complete opposite reaction and would have been a complete bitch.  All that hurt was still very close to the surface.  I was very hot and cold these days.  I could picture myself freaking out on him just to push him away and protect myself.  I didn’t know if I wanted that either.

I was thoroughly confused.

Maybe he was giving me space.  I told him I’d call him.

Maybe he realized that he didn’t really want this.

I wanted him to call.  I didn’t want him to.  I wanted him to give me space.  I wanted him to hold me and make all the hurt go away, make everything better.  I was so confused, even more lost then I had been days ago when I was facing the reality of doing this alone.

I headed into my apartment
rubbing my little baby belly.  I had been apartment searching, secretly.  I hadn’t told Maggie or Skyla I was moving out.  This apartment was home but how was I to bring a baby into this.  Maggie and Skyla didn’t need a baby running around plus where would it sleep.  Where was I going to put the baby’s things?  My things barely fit in my room.  Did they honestly think I could cram a baby in there too?

My hunt
had been a bust.  Everything was either out of my price range, since I refused to take any money from my parents, or I refused to live there.

I had changed my account so
my parent’s monthly deposits were no longer coming in but I kept my trust fund.  They were either going to accept me or they weren’t.  Either way I didn’t want them supporting me and what they viewed as my poor career choice.  I was a grown woman.  I could and would do it on my own.  I kept the trust fund though because I figured I earned it.  I took their crap for 21 years.  It was mine.

I opened the door and
found the living room covered in bags from every store you could think off.  Someone had done some major shopping.  They were everywhere.

“
Ummm…what’s going on?” I asked Skyla when I saw her looking at one of the bags.  She jumped and smiled at me.  She looked….guilty?

“These are for you,” Skyla said as she motioned to all the bags.

“For me?” I asked.  Huh?  She nodded.  “Why?”

She
just shrugged but was smiling.  She still looked guilty but for an entirely different reason.  She knew something.  She had something to do with this.

“Who are they from?” I questioned
skeptically rubbing my belly.  I had come to find it comforting even though it was barely there.

“Open them,” Maggie said as she popped her head around the corner.

I couldn’t help but be a little excited so I grabbed the first bag. Inside was ten little board books.

I sat down.  My heart was racing. 
My breath caught in my throat.  I felt tears start to build up in my eyes.  These were for the baby.  From who?  There was no note, no receipt, nothing that would give me any clue as to who sent this stuff.

I grabbed another b
ag. Inside was a bunch of baby toys.  Again no clue as to who brought it by.  How did all these bags get in here anyways?  Maggie or Skyla had to be in on this somehow.

Another bag. 
This one was full of maternity clothes.  Maternity clothes I actually liked.  All dresses.  All styles I would definitely wear.  All the right size.

I continued to go through
the bags.  There was stuff for the baby: monitors, diapers, bottles, etc., and stuff for me: maternity clothes, the ridiculous chunky jewelry I liked, books, and so on.  I couldn’t help but smile.

“Who is all this stuff from?” I asked after I had torn through each bag without a single clue.

I was smiling, really smiling for the first time in months.  I felt like I was going to cry again but happy tears.

“You really don’t know?” Skyla asked as she dropped down onto the floor next to me.

I had my guesses but I refused to get my hopes up too high without any proof.  If I was wrong I would be crushed.

Skyla handed me a box, this one had a large red bow on it,
none of the others had been wrapped.  Skyla had her hand in this.  It could only mean one person but I refused to get my hopes up without any proof.  I grabbed the box and opened it inside was a pair of perfect heels.  They were closed toe pumps in black and white plaid with metallic golden threads running through them.  I loved them.  They were the perfect size even.

I kicked o
ff my heels and slid the new ones on.  Perfect.  I let out a deep sigh as I stared down at my feet.

Maggie joined us on the couch with her coffee in hand pushing bags out of her ways so she could sit.

Skyla handed me an envelope.  I hadn’t even noticed her holding it.  I had been too wrapped up in my new shoes.

My na
me was scribbled on the front.  I instantly recognized the writing.  My heart began to pound and tears welled up in my eyes.  Lincoln had done all this.

I slowly opened the envelope and slipped out a homemade card, well
as homemade as any man makes.  It was a piece of paper folded in half with a picture drawn on the front.  It was of cherry blossoms, just like the ones on my side.  Sitting near the top of the blossoms was a little fairy.  She was holding her legs against her chest and her hair was blowing in her face but I recognized the eyes peaking through the hair in her face.  My eyes.  Lincoln had drawn me as the fairy.  He had done that often when we were together.  The card was beautiful.  I was already tearing up and a little afraid to open it.

Skyla leaned into me an
d nudged me with her shoulder.  I had completely forgotten I wasn’t alone.  Maggie was rubbing small circles on my back while they waited.  I was so nervous I was shaking.

I opened the card.

Pru, My Lovely Fairy,

I can never express how much I regret these past few mont
hs, how incredibly sorry I am.  I have been miserable every day since I lost you.  When I lost you I wanted to die but I thought I was doing what was best for you.  I let you go because I let the differences in our worlds come between us.  Sadly enough I did it because I love you.  I wanted what was best for you and I didn’t think that was me.

But it killed me. 
I have been broken up inside ever since.  I all but shut down.  I threw myself into work, anything to distract me from you but I could never seem to escape you.  I saw you in everything I did: what music I was listening too, what tattoo I was working on, everywhere I went and everything I did.

I’m done. 
I can’t stay away from you any longer even if it’s probably best for you.  I don’t want to.  I tried.  I really did but seeing you the other day made me see what a fool I am.  I miss you.  I love you.  I’m selfish enough to do everything in my power to try and keep you.

I want us to be a family.  You,
me, and our baby.  I love you and our baby.  I always will.  I will do anything for the both of you.  All you have to do is ask.

I hope al
l of this stuff will work out.  I hope it fits.

I’ll never be able to give you Prada and pe
arls all I can give you is me.  All that I am.  All of my love.  You have my heart.

I love
you Prudence Kennedy Thompson.  I always will.  I will fight for you forever, wait for you forever.

I love you.

With all my love,

Lincoln

The tears were flowing now.  There was no stopping them.  Damn pregnancy hormones.  The wall I had been trying to erect around my heart was starting to crumble.  He was good, so good.

Maggie
smiled at me from around her coffee.  Skyla was fidgeting waiting for a response.  I just shrugged my shoulders as a sob broke through and I laughed at myself.  I was a mess.

I didn’t know what to do. 
I didn’t know what this really meant in the grand scheme of things.  I needed to think.

I wanted him back but did he truly want
me back for the right reasons?  Or was this all just because of the baby?  Did it matter?

“He’s really been a mess since you
guys broke up,” Skyla started.  “I didn’t want to tell you because I was trying not to get involved.  He’s been cranky and miserable.  He refused to do anything but work.  Jonas and I have been trying to help him see reason but you know how stubborn he is.”

I did.

“He really loves you Pru.”  All I could do was nod.

Maggie and Skyla helped me condense the bags and put them aga
inst the walls of the hallway.  We had nowhere else to store them.  Then I retreated to my room.  They didn’t ask any questions just let me attempt to process.  They knew I needed some space.  I loved them.

I looked a
t my phone.  Should I call him?  Should I just text?  Should I just ignore him?  Return the gifts?  No I wanted the gifts.  I wanted him to make an effort.

His grand gesture certainly had an effect on me but I wasn’t rea
dy to rush back into his arms.  I just wasn’t there yet.  I would need time to trust him with my heart again.  He had broken it and it was going to take time to put it back together.

So after much deliberation I sent him a simple text.

Thank you.

It was a start.

Lincoln

Thank you.

I couldn’t help but smile down at my phone.  That little simple text message made my heart jump.  It gave me hope.

After she left me at the ma
ll the other day I was a mess.  I experienced every emotion possible, anger, hurt, fear, love, joy, panic.  I even shed a few tears.  I had gone home and basically freaked out.  After pacing a hole in the floor I ended up calling Skyla who told me I still had a chance but I was going to really have to work at it.  I hurt her, bad.  So that was exactly what I planned to do.  I would do any and everything I could to get back in Pru’s good graces.  I would make her see that I loved her and that she still loved me if it was the last thing I did.

After talking with Skyla I decided that I needed to let Pru know that I was thinking a
bout her.  I spent the entire next day shopping.  I went to every store I could and bought all kinds of random baby things and things for Pru.  I wanted to show her that not only was our child important to me so was she.

I informed Skyla of my plan. 
I needed an inside man.  She was it.  She thought it was a great idea and was more than willing to help.  Skyla texted me when Pru went out for the day and helped me get everything inside.  I didn’t want her to see me.  I didn’t want to crowd her.  Pru had said she’d call so that’s what I was letting her do.  Sky said she wasn’t dealing with things real well and needed some space.  I was giving it to her as much as I could.  I made her a card and poured my heart into it.  I left the shoes and card with Skyla to give her last.

Then I waited. 
Skyla had told me that she had come home but didn’t share any details with me.  I wanted to kill her.  It was worse not knowing how she reacted then wondering if she’d made it home yet.

Pru said she’d call so I was wait
ing for it.  Every time my phone went I off I basically dove for it in the hopes that it was Pru and every time I was disappointed.  Nothing.  She hadn’t called or even text yet.  I knew I had to give her time, give her space but I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it.  I did this to her, to us.  I had to build it back up.  Gain her trust.  Earn her love.  Show her I was worthy.