Uncle John's Ahh-Inspiring Bathroom Reader (56 page)

Claim to Fame:
Former First Lady, wife of President Franklin D. Roosevelt, U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations

How She Died:
From a stroke, possibly the result of medical errors made while she was being treated for anemia

Postmortem:
In April 1960, the 75-year-old Mrs. Roosevelt was found to be suffering from aplastic anemia, which means her bone marrow wasn't producing enough red blood cells. By April 1962, she was also suffering from a shortage of white blood cells and platelets, so doctors prescribed prednisone, a drug that stimulates the bone marrow to produce more blood cells. But prednisone has a side effect: it suppresses the body's ability to fight off infections.

In August 1962, Mrs. Rooselvelt was back in the hospital, this
time with a fever and a cough. Her doctors considered the possibility that she was suffering from tuberculosis, but when a chest X-ray showed no signs of the disease, they declined to do any further tests.

Mrs. Roosevelt was discharged from the hospital…but six weeks later she was back again, this time in even worse shape and still suffering from a “fever of unknown origin.” On September 27, her doctors finally took a bone marrow sample and sent it to a laboratory to test for tuberculosis, a process that takes four to six weeks.

By October 18, Mrs. Roosevelt was so miserable and so convinced her end was near that she had herself discharged so that she could die at home. Her test results came back on October 26: she had tuberculosis…and months of treatment with prednisone had made it impossible for her body to fight it off. Not only had the doctors' diagnosis been wrong, but the medication was the worst possible thing they could have given her.

Nine days after finally receiving the correct diagnosis, Mrs. Roosevelt, still at home, suffered a stroke and slipped into a coma. She died three days later.

 

 

“Charged with murder in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, Donald Leroy Evans wanted a little respect. Evans filed a motion which would allow him to wear a Ku Klux Klan robe during his court appearance. The motion also requested that Evans's name be officially changed on all court documents to ‘the honorable and respected name of Hi Hitler.' Apparently, Evans thought Hitler's subjects were chanting ‘Hi Hitler' instead of ‘Heil, Hitler.'”

—
Presumed Ignorant

A man was sentenced to two years in prison yesterday for trying to break
into
the Rideau Correctional Center. Shane Walker, 23, was believed to be bringing drugs to his friends last week when he was foiled by striking corrections workers who heard bolt-cutters snapping the wire fence and apprehended him.

—National Post

Do you select a hotel for the amenities it offers? Well, forget mints on your pillow. Here are a few examples of how far some hotels will go to get you into their rooms.

H
OTEL:
Hotel Monaco, Chicago

AMENITY:
Goldfish

ROOM SERVICE:
The hotel is proud to be pet-friendly—so much so that if you didn't bring one of yours, they'll lend you one of theirs. (On your next visit you can even ask for a specific goldfish by name.)

HOTEL:
Hotel Monasterio, Cuzco, Peru

AMENITY:
Oxygen

ROOM SERVICE:
Cuzco is the home of the famed Inca ruins at Machu Picchu and sits at about 10,890 feet above sea level. For the altitude-weary visitor, oxygen pumps are supplied. Every room has one.

HOTEL:
The Clift Hotel, San Francisco

AMENITY:
Live music

ROOM SERVICE:
If you're having trouble sleeping, this hotel has a string quartet on call. And they'll come to your room at bedtime to play you a lullaby. (Cost: $1,000)

HOTEL:
The Jailhouse Inn, Preston, Minnesota

AMENITY:
Steel bars

ROOM SERVICE:
The old Fillmore County Jail, built in 1869, was converted into a hotel in 1989. For $129 (starting rate) you can spend the night in an actual cell.

HOTEL:
A proposed hotel in Bozeman, Montana

AMENITY:
Grizzly bears

ROOM SERVICE:
Plans for this hotel include rooms in underground caverns—that are also grizzly bear dens. You'll get a TV, a kitchenette, and a one-way window to watch your roommates in their natural habitat.

We all love bloppers…er…we mean bloopers. Here are some great ones from the silver screen.

M
ovie:
The Bridge on the River Kwai
(1957)

Scene:
The film's opening credits.

Blooper:
This blockbuster won seven Oscars, but not for spelling. They misspelled the star's name, Alec Guinness, as “Guiness.”

Movie:
Clueless
(1995)

Scene:
A close-up shot of Cher's (Alicia Silverstone) report card.

Blooper:
The name on the report card is Cher Hamilton, not the character's name, Cher Horowitz.

Movie:
Vanilla Sky
(2001)

Scene:
Julie (Cameron Diaz) and David (Tom Cruise) are in the car. Julie goes crazy and drives it off a bridge.

Blooper:
The exterior shot reveals there's no one in the car.

Movie:
Die Hard
(1989)

Scene:
When Sgt. Al Powell (Reginald VelJohnson) crashes his squad car, his forehead is bleeding pretty badly.

Blooper:
Throughout the remainder of the film, no evidence of the wound is present.

Movie:
Double Indemnity
(1944)

Scene:
Fred MacMurray plays a bachelor.

Blooper:
Then why is he wearing a wedding ring?

Movie:
North by Northwest
(1959)

Scene:
In a restaurant, Eve (Eva Marie Saint) pulls a gun on Thornhill (Cary Grant).

Blooper:
Just before the shot is fired, a boy sitting at a table in the background puts his fingers in his ears to muffle the sound of a gun he has no way of seeing…but obviously knows is there.

Movie:
Twister
(1996)

Scene:
The story chronicles one of the biggest tornadoes in Oklahoma's history.

Blooper:
Most of the road signs are from Texas.

Movie:
Shrek
(2001)

Scene:
Shrek (Mike Myers) and Fiona (Cameron Diaz) blow up some balloons and let them go.

Blooper:
The balloons fly up in the air. (Okay, we know they're fairy tale characters, but that doesn't explain how they could exhale helium.)

Movie:
Independence Day
(1996)

Scene:
Inside a tunnel, Jasmine (Vivica A. Fox) and her son, Dylan (Ross Bagley), escape through a service door just before they're overtaken by a wall of fire. Then Jasmine calls the dog.

Blooper:
Even allowing Hollywood its usual “artistic license,” the fact that Jasmine and Dylan make it out is barely plausible. But the dog? A shockwave is tossing cars like toys, yet somehow superdog manages to jump out of the way barely a few feet in front of it.

Movie:
Kate & Leopold
(2001)

Scene:
Spectators on a bridge are waving American flags.

Blooper:
The flags have all 50 stars… in 1876.

Movie:
Pulp Fiction
(1994)

Scene:
Vincent (John Travolta) and Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) are in an apartment when someone bursts out of the bathroom and starts shooting at them.

Blooper:
The bullet holes are in the wall
before
the gunman starts shooting.

Movie:
Cocktail
(1988)

Scene:
Tom Cruise goes into the Regency Theatre in Manhattan and gets into a fight.

Blooper:
It must have been a long fight—when he went into the theater,
Barfly
appeared on the marquee. When he exited, it was
Casablanca
.

When you hear the word “danger,” you probably think of slippery floors, shifty criminals, or busy intersections. These days, people tend to ignore the threats posed by the natural world. But after reading this article, you may decide not to come out of the bathroom—it's a dangerous world out there
.

B
EWARE OF:
Your backyard

EXPLANATION:
Some common garden plants and shrubs can kill you if you eat them. These attractive but potentially fatally toxic plants include daphne, English ivy, fox-glove, hemlock, jonquil, mistletoe, morning glory, and yew. The list of plants that can leave you in a coma, paralyzed, or spasmodic is as long as your arm.

BEWARE OF:
Golf courses and riverbanks

EXPLANATION:
Each year about 100 people are killed in the United States by lightning strikes, and most of these unfortunate victims became targets while out enjoying golf or fishing. A typical lightning flash carries about 15 million volts, so you don't want to be caught swinging a number 5 iron or a 20-foot fishing rod when a storm comes by. The National Weather Service recorded 3,511 deaths and 11,489 injuries from lightning strikes between 1959 and 1999. PGA advice to all golfers is to stop playing and seek shelter as soon as any storm approaches.

BEWARE OF:
The woods

EXPLANATION:
“Assassin bugs,” also known as “kissing bugs,” have been known to suck blood from the lips, eyelids, or ears of a sleeping human. There are various species that hang out in the woodlands and bushes of Africa, Central America, South America, and even North America. Most assassin bugs aren't deadly to humans, but the
Triatoma infestans
makes up for it. Found mostly from Mexico to the south of Argentina, it can spread Chagas' disease, which will kill a person in just a few weeks by weakening the
nervous system, eventually causing a heart attack. Five thousand people die from Chagas disease each year.

BEWARE OF:
Old baby rattles

EXPLANATION:
Toy manufacturers once used castor beans as the noisemakers in baby rattles. They probably didn't know that castor beans contain
ricin
, a protein that's fatal to humans. Scientists estimate that, ounce for ounce, ricin can be 6,000 times more deadly than cyanide. A teeny bit of ricin, weighing no more than just one grain of salt, can kill an adult.

BEWARE OF:
Jewelry

EXPLANATION:
Another substance even more toxic than ricin is
abrin
. Abrin is found in jequirity beans, which are used in rosary necklaces. Just one seed can be fatal, yet this bean is often used to make necklaces in Mexico and Central America.