Uncle John's Ahh-Inspiring Bathroom Reader (86 page)

After nearly three decades, hundreds of the entertainment industry's biggest names have crossed paths with
Saturday Night Live
, from Robin Williams to Oprah Winfrey to Paul McCartney to Madonna. It's tough to flip through the channels for too long without seeing some evidence of
SNL's
impact: (click)
The Chris Rock Show;
(click) David Spade on
Just Shoot Me;
(click)
Stripes
with Bill Murray; (click) a commercial for
Austin Powers;
(click) “Tonight on
Conan
: Steve Martin, followed by Molly Shannon, with musical guest Elvis Costello” (who made his U.S. television debut on
SNL
).

As
Saturday Night Live
enters its fourth decade, the show continues to collect Emmys and praise from critics, who marvel at the show's longevity. Tom Shales continues to hail
SNL
, calling it a “weekly miracle.” When asked how he's kept the show funny in the 21st century, Lorne Michaels answered: “I think that we've got those non-suck devices working again.”

• Youngest host: Drew Barrymore, on Nov. 20, 1982, 7 years old.

• Five hosts cast members most liked working with: Steve Martin, Tom Hanks, John Goodman, Alec Baldwin, Christopher Walken.

• Short list of wanted hosts that have never appeared (so far): Johnny Carson, Tom Cruise, Bill Clinton.

• Other
SNL
alums: Ben Stiller (1989), Janeane Garofalo (1994), Kevin Meaney (1986), Jay Mohr (1993–94), Chris Elliot (1994).

One day in the early 1960s, young Uncle John was waiting in line at a Dairy Queen when he happened to see a strange little car pull into the parking lot. It looked like a refrigerator on wheels. That car—the Isetta—was Uncle John's introduction to an unusual class of foreign car known as microcars. If you aren't familiar with them, here's yours:

In post-World War II Europe, economic realities were forcing car designers to rethink the idea of the automobile. Europeans were already accustomed to smaller cars. More densely populated than America, many of its cities had narrow streets that predated the automobile by centuries. As early as 1923, smaller, more easily maneuverable cars were being built by manufacturers such as Alfa-Romeo and Fiat.

After World War II, fuel was expensive and materials were in short supply. The damaged economy made even these small cars out of reach for most people. In contrast to America's postwar optimism—which was expressed by materialism and a “bigger is better” attitude—Europeans tightened their belts and looked for ways to get by on less. Many people used bicycles or motorcycles for transport, but these left a lot to be desired in inclement weather and were of little use for carrying much more than the driver.

In the late 1940s and early 1950s a number of unconventional inventors began designing vehicles that were a sort of hybrid—more than motorcycles, but not quite cars. Many were designed to use motorcycle engines, particularly the early models. Later versions used more powerful proprietary engines. But one thing all the new cars had in common was size: they were very small. As a group, they became known as “microcars.”

Some had four wheels, making them more carlike. But many had just three—usually two in front and one in back—which brought the cost down. According to British law, for example, a vehicle with fewer than four wheels (and without a reverse gear) was considered a motorcycle and was taxed at a lower rate than
regular cars. Another plus: A less-expensive motorcycle license was all that was needed to drive the three-wheelers.

More than 50 different microcar brands were produced in Europe after the war. Some had a great deal of success; others barely got off the drawing board. With names such as Atom, Frisky, Scootacar, Trojan, and Wolf, it was difficult to take some of them seriously. But Europeans seemed to find the names and many of the wacky designs endearing. The vehicles were cheap to buy, economical to operate, and, as one ad said, “Why walk when you can ride?”

Some of the diminutive vehicles were designed and built by companies with automotive backgrounds, such as British Reliant, which expanded on its prewar line of three-wheeled vans. (Reliant made three-wheelers until early 2001.) But many others were produced by inventive entrepreneurs with little or no experience in vehicle design.

Bavarian businessman Hans Glas manufactured agricultural machinery. When demand for his equipment dropped sharply in the late 1940s, Glas thought there might be a market for a well-built scooter, so he began manufacturing one in 1951. He was right. After the success of the scooter, he went on to design a tiny car, the four-wheeled Goggomobile, first sold in 1955 for about $750. It was as rugged as its agricultural heritage might suggest—one reviewer noted that “the only way to flip a Goggomobile is to drive it over a land mine.” With more than 280,000 sold by the end of production in 1969, the Goggomobile became the most successful small car produced in Germany.

Another well-known microcar started out as a wheelchair. Shortly after the war, German aeronautical engineer Fritz Fend, a former Luftwaffe technical officer, began experimenting with some ideas he had for a hand-powered tri-cycle for disabled servicemen. His design evolved into a motorized version, with two wheels in front, the single wheel in the rear. When he started producing the vehicles, he was surprised to find that he was swamped by requests for it—not from disabled servicemen, but from ordinary people looking for cheap transportation.

Fend was more of an inventor than a businessman, so to meet the demand for the new vehicles, he turned to his aviation contacts at the Messerschmitt aircraft company. The Messerschmitt factory, which had built fighter planes for the Nazis, was closed after the war. They were banned from making aircraft, so it was sitting idle…until it was put back to use making Fend's little cars. The first production model of the eight-foot-long Messerschmitt, which the makers preferred to call the Kabinroller, was introduced to the public in 1953.

With flowing lines and a clear, plastic dome top, it resembled a cockpit on wheels—and some people thought the Cabin-Scooter was made of old fighter plane parts. Reinforcing that misconception, the top opened upward and its two seats were in tandem, one behind the other. With a 191cc engine and a top speed of more than 50 mph, the Cabin-Scooter got 60 to 75 miles per gallon. Some 45,000 were sold by the end of production in 1964. A more powerful sibling, the Messerschmitt Tiger, had four wheels, a 500cc engine, and claimed a top speed of 90 mph.

Just before World War II, Italian businessman Renzo Rivolta purchased Isothermos, a small company that specialized in making refrigerators. After the war he added scooters and motorcycles to his line, then three-wheeled minitrucks, and then in 1952 his first car, the Isetta (“Little Iso”).

Though the Isetta and the Messerschmitt were called “bubble cars” because of their rounded enclosures, the Isetta bore little resemblance to the Messerschmitt—there was no chance anyone could mistake it for a fighter plane. Sometimes called “an Easter egg on roller skates,” it was distinctly ovoid, 54 inches wide by 90 inches long.

The
entire
front end of the Isetta served as its single front door, much like a refrigerator door. With the door open, occupants would step into the car, turn around, and sit down on the single seat. The driver closed the door by pulling on the steering wheel, which was attached to the door and would pivot into place. The car had a canvas pullback sunroof, which made motoring around the countryside more pleasant on sunny days, but the real reason for it was that in the event of a front-end collision, passengers
could use it as an emergency escape.

Though versions of the Isetta were made in Brazil, France, Spain, and Belgium, it was BMW of Germany that refined the little car and contributed most to its success. In the postwar economy, BMW was having trouble selling its more expensive models and was looking for an economy car to manufacture. BMW scouts were impressed by the Isetta's performance in Italy's Mille Miglia (1,000-mile) race. One reportedly finished with an average speed of almost 50 mph and with a fuel efficiency of 60 miles per gallon.

BMW bought the manufacturing rights, replaced the original engine with a more powerful 13-horsepower 247cc motorcycle engine and made several design improvements, such as better suspension and sliding side windows. At a cost of just 20% of its least-expensive luxury cars, BMW sold more than 160,000 Isettas in Germany. Another 30,000 were made in Great Britain under the BMW license. Some critics called it “a death trap,” but many historians actually attribute the survival of BMW to the success of the Isetta.

BMW built Isettas until 1962, when competition from sturdier, more carlike microcars, especially the British-built Mini, was making bubblecars obsolete.

In the late 1950s, microcars enjoyed a second surge of popularity. Egypt had seized the Suez Canal in 1956, and Britain was rationing gasoline. Sir Leonard Lord, head of British Motor Corporation, asked designer Sir Alec Issigonis to come up with something revolutionary—a car to “wipe those blasted bubble cars off the road.” And that's exactly what happened.

At roughly 41/2 feet by 10 feet, the Mini was only a little larger than most of the earlier microcars, but with proper car-like side doors and a front and rear seat. The engine was in its own compartment, in the front over the drive wheels. But the real revolution was the drive train—by turning the 848cc engine sideways and putting the gearbox underneath it, Issigonis fit all the mechanical parts into just 18 inches. That left plenty of room for four passengers and even luggage.

With its four-cylinder 37-horsepower engine, the Mini could hold its own on the highway among larger cars. The early models had a top speed of 72 mph, but later performance modifications boosted
that figure to over 100 mph, a remarkable speed considering the Mini rode on 10-inch wheels. The combination of size, power, and maneuverability made the car the best in its class, and sales figures reflected its successful design: during the 25 years after its introduction in 1959, more than five million Minis were built.

But in spite of its long popularity, the Mini gradually fell victim to the times. It was competing with small but more powerful sports cars and the economical Volkswagon Beetle. By the mid-1980s sales had fallen off dramatically. A new owner, the British auto manufacturer Rover, tried to revive the Mini by offering a number of special editions. Strong sales in Japan helped to keep it going for a while, but as the end of the millennium approached, it looked like the Mini would finally join the Isetta and other legendary little cars on the scrap heap of history.

But history was about to repeat itself.

In 1994 BMW was seeking to expand its line and bought the four-wheel-drive Land Rover. It turned out to be a bad match. English investors didn't like the idea of a German company owning Rover, and the Rover division cost more money than it made. BMW sold off most of Rover in 2000, but the head of the company was a fan of the Mini…so they kept it.

In 2001 BMW unveiled a new Mini, built in an English factory, sporting BMW styling and engineering. With a motor nearly twice the size of the original and more than twice the horsepower, top speed is estimated at 125 mph. Automotive reviewers think it is both a blast from the past—and a peek at the future.

Though giant SUVs and luxury cars abound today, many car manufacturers with a grasp of history are preparing smaller, more fuel-efficient models. And if the BMW Mini is any indicator, modern microcars will feature high-tech advancements with new designs, materials, and fuels. Meaning: the future may hold mini more surprises.