Uncle John's Endlessly Engrossing Bathroom Reader (2 page)

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Authors: Bathroom Readers' Institute

BOOK: Uncle John's Endlessly Engrossing Bathroom Reader

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HOW TO DO THINGS

HOW TO PICK A GOOD COMPUTER PASSWORD

HOW TO JUMP-START A CAR

HOW TO BOIL AN EGG

HOW TO WRITE A THANK-YOU NOTE

HOW TO TELL IF A STEAK IS COOKED

ANTARCTIC JARGON

INDIANA BASKETBALL: THE “MILAN MIRACLE”

THE CHURCH OF BASKETBALL

THE PUNCH WAS TOO PUNCHY

POT HEAD

AN ANGRY LITTLE BOOGAARD

JUST FOR KICKS

IT USUALLY TASTES BETTER

A VERY EXPENSIVE PENNY

THE BOOK OF THE KNIGHT OF THE TOWER

A TOKEN FOR CHILDREN

TOMMY THUMB’S PRETTY SONG BOOK

A LITTLE PRETTY POCKET BOOK

FACTS THAT CUT THE...

LIFE IMITATES ART

RANDOM BITS ON ’80s HITS

EVERYDAY HEROES

NEITHER RAIN, NOR SLEET, NOR…FIRE!

BUS DRIVER BOY

READ YOUR MOLE-O-SCOPE

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

YOUR FACE

YOUR BODY

HORSE MYSTERIES

THE CASE OF THE BRISBANE BATS

THE CASE OF THE SUDDEN SWELLING

THE CASE OF THE FALLEN FOALS

THE CASE OF THE EL PASO PUNCTURES

FIRST PRINCIPLE…OF WEIRD BEHAVIOR

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO PRINT

GARBAGE: THE FINAL FRONTIER

SMELLS FUNNY

BUT WOULD YOU WANT TO LIVE THERE?

COOKING WITH JULIA

THE DIGITAL CAMERA REVOLUTION, PART II

NO MEALS, NO PEANUTS, AND YOU HAVE TO PUSH

DON’T MAKE ME TURN THIS PLANE AROUND

BIG, OLD, BUSY BERTHA

MOOOVE OVER

MAGNETIC PERSONALITIES

A WINNING PHRASE ORIGIN

OOPS!

WHEN IS A DEATHBED NOT A DEATHBED?

WHEN IS AN APOSTLE NOT AN APOSTLE?

I’M NOT DEAD YET

IT BROKE THE SPELL-CHECKER

GRAM CRACKERS

BLACK (HUMOR) FOREST

BIG VIDEO TREASURES

LITTLE VIDEO TREASURES

HELLO, I MUST BE GOING

FATHER KNOWS BEST

THE HITS JUST KEEP COMIN’

YOUR GOLD SMELLS FISHY

CREATIVE SENTENCING

TURNING THE PAGE

NOT SO CROSS

PUTTING THE “PAIN” IN PAINESVILLE

HURRICAN’T

BACKSEAT HURLER

HOW MANILOW CAN YOU GO?

PEOPLE STUFF FOR DOGS

WHEN HARRY MET BESSIE

GO, ARTICHOKES!

FABULOUS FLOP: THE GYROJET

THINKING SMALL

BULLET BASICS

ROCKET SCIENCE

THE GUN OF THE FUTURE

AND NOW THE FINE PRINT

WORST BASKETBALL TEAM

WORST COLLEGE FOOTBALL TEAM

WORST MODERN BASEBALL TEAM

WORST COLLEGE BASKETBALL TEAM

WORST OVERALL PRO SPORTS TEAM

AN ALLIGATOR IN THE GARAGE

A BEAR IN THE MEDIAN

A TURKEY IN BOSTON

A BIRD ON THE HEAD

A BOAR IN THE BACKYARD

STOP—IN THE NAME OF THE LAW

THE INVENTIONS OF PROFESSOR LUCIFER GORGONZOLA BUTTS

A MAN CALLED RUBE

THE GOLDBERG VARIATIONS

THE “AUTOMATIC” BACK-SCRATCHER

GETTING AN OLIVE OUT OF A BOTTLE

SHARPENING A PENCIL

UNHEARD ALBUMS

MC HAMMER, TOO TIGHT

PRINCE & THE REVOLUTION, DREAM FACTORY

NEIL YOUNG, HOMEGROWN

BEASTIE BOYS, WHITE HOUSE

CRUNCHY LOGGS

USED COWS FOR SALE

Q&A: ASK THE EXPERTS

WRONG TURN AT ALBUQUERQUE?

FOR LOVE OF THE GAME

THE YELLOW RIVER GOT ITS NAME FROM I.P. FREELY

HAIR IT IS

HAIR IT ISN’T

CHECK IT OUT

IT’S A WEIRD, WEIRD WORLD

WON’T GIVE YOU THE TIME OF DAY

WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE…

AT LEAST HE CAN’T COMPLAIN ABOUT THE NOISE

GET YOUR GOAT

END OF THE ROAD

THE GREAT RACE, PART II

ENTLEMEN, RESTART YOUR ENGINES

THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY (1998)

TOILET TECH: BABY EDITION

COLORCODE (AMBER-BLUE ANAGLYPH)

3-D TV WITHOUT GLASSES?

HOLOGRAPHIC TV

UNCLE JOHN HELPS OUT AROUND THE HOUSE

INDIANA BASKETBALL: THE CRISPUS ATTUCKS TIGERS

THE FAKE NEWS NETWORK

THE NEWS-VERTISING AGE

URBAN LEGENDS

GARDY LOO!

WOULD YOU BELIEVE…

UNCLE JOHN’S PAGE OF LISTS

TRADING PAINT & SPRING RUBBER

BEHIND THE (MOB) HITS

ARNOLD “THE BRAIN” ROTHSTEIN

ARTHUR “DUTCH SCHULTZ” FLEGENHEIMER

“JOE THE BOSS” MASSERIA

JOSEPH “CRAZY JOEY” GALLO

LITTLE THINGS MEAN A LOT

A KEY AND A PAIR OF BINOCULARS

RING AROUND THE DRAIN

TAKE THIS…AND THIS…AND THIS

IT (PROBABLY) WON’T KILL YOU TO EAT…

IRONIC, ISN’T IT?

DE-PROGRAMMED

WIPING THE SLATE CLEAN

FAMILY ISSUES

STONE COLD DEAD

KURBY AND KRYSTAL GO TO WHITE CASTLE

DUMB CROOKS: SILLY WEAPONS UNIT

THE POTTY POLLS, PT. II

YOUR TOOTHBRUSH AND YOU

CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO…IMPOSSIBLE

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