Uncle John’s Impossible Questions & Astounding Answers (31 page)

The Nüshu language of China has been secretly passed down from mother to daughter for thousands of years. A written language only, Nüshu has about 2,000 characters. Until it was discovered by outsiders in the 1980s, Nüshu was the best-kept language secret in history. Women used it mainly to write letters, but also used it on quilts, fans, and other decorative artwork. To most men, it looked like nothing more than pretty symbols. Nüshu has remained isolated to Jiangyong County, in Hunan Province, and is known locally as “Dong language.” As the literacy rate in China has increased, the language has nearly died out. But some young women are now trying to preserve it.

How did a fish become a symbol for Christianity?

What common childhood poem espousing the benefits of a certain food first showed up on bathroom walls in the 1600s?

What do you call the hole in your shirt that you put your arm through?

Early Christians co-opted the symbol of the fish for a few reasons. One, the Greek word
ichthus
(“fish”) can be made into a loose acronym for
Iesous Christos, Theou Uios, Soter
(“Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior”). In addition, the Gospels told of many fish-related Jesus stories (many of the Apostles were fishermen). During the first few centuries A.D., when the Romans persecuted the Christians (and used them as lion food), the intersecting curves of the fish symbol were printed on signs to advertise Christian meetings without the Romans finding out.

That’s the modern version of the poem. No one knows who made it up, but versions of this ditty were first scribbled on English privy walls in the 17th century.

Called an
armsaye
or
armscye
, this obscure word comes from Scotland. It’s most likely a corruption of “arm’s eye.”

What embarrassing situation has led to the recently coined Dutch word
geboortenaam
?

What nice word once meant “ignorant, stupid, foolish, and malicious”?

The Dutch Language Union coined the word in 2008 after receiving complaints about a line on marriage forms that says
meisjesnaam
, or “maiden name.” When male gay couples applied for marriage certificates, that word led to an awkward moment when the one partner who would take the other’s last name had to enter his maiden name. Maiden name? He’s a guy—he has no maiden name. In its ongoing quest to rid the nation of awkward moments, the DLU introduced
geboortenaam
, which translates to “birth name.”

The word
nice
has undergone an amazing transformation since it first appeared in English in the 1300s. Originally from the Latin
nescius
(“ignorant”), the French turned it into
nice
, meaning “stupid.” It entered English with that meaning, but over time it was softened to “foolish,” then to “wanton” or “malicious.” Over the centuries,
nice
took on even more meanings: “extravagant,” “elegant,” “strange,” “modest,” “thin,” and “shy.” When did
nice
become “nice”? Not until the mid-1800s.

In recent years, the word has taken a step back toward its dark past, becoming a sarcastic interjection—such as, when a wayward boomerang hits you on the head and you say, “Nice throw, Crocodile Dumb-dee!”

Time to get on your mark, tee up, and make that free throw through the goalposts in center field!

A televised “60-minute” football game lasts about three hours. How much of that time are the players actually playing?

Who created the five Olympic rings? What do they signify? And who made them famous?

If you used a stopwatch to tally up the actual playing time during a three-hour football broadcast, it would total about 11 minutes. (Actual playing time is measured from the snap or kick of the ball, to the whistle at the end of the play.) So what fills the rest of the time? About 20 minutes are spent watching replays. Another 20 or so minutes are spent watching canned video features, cheerleaders, coaches, crowd shots, halftime, and pre- and post-game chatter. Another hour is spent watching the players stand around and huddle up, which still leaves an hour. That’s for all the commercials.

The creator of the rings is Baron Pierre de Coubertin of France. Known as the father of the modern Olympics, Coubertin designed the flag in 1912; he chose five rings to represent the five continents (he counted North and South America as one continent and left off Antarctica). Though the flag has been flown in every Olympics since 1920, it became the well-known symbol it is today at the 1936 Games in Berlin, Germany. That’s because German chancellor Adolf Hitler flew the flags everywhere he could put them. Newsreels of the Games played all over the world, introducing millions of people to the five Olympic rings…and to the Nazi swastika. (Hitler is also responsible for reintroducing an ancient Olympic tradition—the ceremonial carrying of the torch.)

Where can you play a round of golf two miles above sea level? (And no, “Inside a jumbo jet” is not an acceptable answer.) What about 220 feet below sea level? (And no, “Inside a submarine” is also not an acceptable answer.)