Uncle John’s Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader

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Authors: Bathroom Readers’ Institute

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Uncle John’s Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader
Bathroom Readers’ Institute
Uncle John’s
SLIGHTLY
IRREGULAR
B
ATHROOM
R
EADER

By the
Bathroom Readers’
Institute

Bathroom Readers’ Press
Ashland, Oregon

OUR “REGULAR” READERS RAVE!

“This is one of the best books I’ve ever read. What are the other best books I’ve read? Why, the other
Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers
, of course! Thanks—you make doing #2 my #1 priority!”

—Robert D
.

“I found nirvana when I found your books. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

—Donna K
.

“This is just a note to thank you for the valuable knowledge that you have dumped on me. You have given me great pleasure and kept me quite regular. My wife also thanks you, for since our introduction to the world of the
Bathroom Reader
, I had to build her a second bathroom. Humble thanks and keep up the good work.”

—James M
.

“I started reading your books after a colleague, ordinarily not much of a conversationalist, started to get smarter and smarter by the day. We couldn’t figure out what was going on until we caught him reading one of your books. I bought my first one that night.”

—Ernie P
.

“You guys are the best. My girlfriend thinks I spend too much time in the can, but I just tell her that I am improving my cognitive thinking and am full of information, not what I’m usually full of.”


Marty M
.

“I’m a huge fan of
Bathroom Readers
, but they are
too
good. Everytime someone sees me with one of your books, they ask to see it, read it, then borrow it. The bad part is I never get them back. Keep on flushin’!”

—Ted C
.

“I just purchased my 16th
Bathroom Reader
and will not stop until I own every one. You have given me many days and nights of enjoyable reading. I look forward to future editions. Keep up the good work!”

—Karyn L
.

UNCLE JOHN’S SLIGHTLY IRREGULAR BATHROOM READER®

Copyright © 2004 by the Bathroom Readers’ Press (a division of Portable Press). All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

“Bathroom Reader” and “Bathroom Readers’ Institute”are registered trademarks of Baker & Taylor.
All rights reserved.

For information, write
The Bathroom Readers’ Institute,
P.O. Box 1117, Ashland, OR 97520
www.bathroomreader.com
888-488-4642

Cover design by Michael Brunsfeld,
San Rafael, CA (
[email protected]
)
BRI “technician” on back cover: Larry Kelp

Uncle John’s Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader
®
by The Bathroom Readers’ Institute

ISBN-13: 978-1-60710-613-5
E-book edition: April 2012

Created in the United States of America

 

“Seattle Windshield Pitting Epidemic” by Alan J. Stein for History Link.
Copyright © 2003. Reprinted by permission of History Link.

Hiya Sophie! Hiya Jessie!

THANK YOU!

The Bathroom Readers’ Institute sincerely thanks the people whose advice and assistance made this book possible
.

Gordon Javna

John Dollison

Thom Little

Jay Newman

Julia Papps

Brian Boone

John Gaffey

Laura BlackFeather

Jeff Altemus

Sharilyn Hovind

Michael Brunsfeld

Bryan Henry

Angela Kern

Lori Larson

Sam Javna

Sydney Stanley

Gideon Javna

Jim McCluskey

Janet Spencer

Paul Stanley

Jenny Baldwin

Nancy Toeppler

Raingirl Thering

Joe Diehl

JoAnn Padgett

Amy Briggs

Allen Orso

Lyne Brennanski

Jolly Jeff Cheek

Scarab Media

Stephanie Spadaccini

Jef Fretwell

Maggie Javna

Andy Peterson

John Staedler

Larry Bograd

(Mr.) Mustard Press

Steven Style Group

Mana Manzavi

Matt Rosenberg

Jim Koweek

Barb Porshe

Paula Leith

Chris Olsen

Rich Skrenta

Porter the Wonder Dog

John Javna

Thomas Crapper

...AND BEST FLUSHES

to the millions of bathroom readers out there
.

“Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you’re finished.” —Leslie Nielsen

CONTENTS

Because the BRI understands your reading needs, we’ve divided the contents by length as well as subject.
Short—
a quick read
Medium—
2 to 3 pages
Long—
for those extended visits, when something a little more involved is required
* Extended—
for those leg-numbing experiences

PUBLIC LIVES

Short

Youngest & Oldest

Famous People’s Pets

Found and Lost

Youngest & Oldest

Medium

Nudes & Prudes

When Celebrities Attack

Nudes & Prudes

Famous for 15 Minutes

Long

The Man Inside The Terminal

BATHROOM NEWS

Short

That ’70s Bathroom

Close the Lid

Bathroom Stats

Medium

Uncle John’s Stall of Fame

I Heard It in the Bathroom

Bathroom News

Bathroom Time Killers

Uncle John’s Stall of Fame

Your #1 News Source

FADS & FLOPS

Medium

(B)ad Campaigns

Close, But No Cigar

Segue into Segway

Used-Less Inventions

Long

Billion-Dollar Babies

World’s First Muscle Car

BLUNDERFUL LIFE

Short

Jail Food Follies

Medium

Oops!

The Digital Age

Uncle John’s “Creative Teaching” Awards

Oops!

More “Creative Teaching” Awards

It’s the Wrong Song

Oops!

WATCH THIS!

Short

Mmmm...Trivia

Reel Wise

Medium

Box-Office Bloopers

The Lost
Star Wars

The Lyin’ King

Video Treasures

McLeaned

Taxi Driver
, Starring Neil Diamond

They Felt the Passion

Hunting for DVD Easter Eggs

(Not) Coming to a Theater Near You

Long

The Cost War (Movies)

POP SCIENCE

Short

Spider? Man?

Wearable Electronics

Animal Life Spans

Tree-mendous

Rocks on the Go

Weights and Measures

Wooden You Know

Medium

I Hate Cleaning!

Upstanding Citizens

Q&A: Body of Knowledge

Comic Book Science

Color-Blind

Q&A: Ask the Experts

How
Not
to Get Struck By Lightning

Long

Lucky Strikes

SPORTS & AMUSEMENTS

Short

Not Exactly Seabiscuit

Basketball 101

Medium

Foul Balls

Goooooooal!

Grandma Celia, Card Shark

Long

The Birth of the Major Leagues

* Jack Johnson vs. The Great White Hope

MUSIC

Short

The Who?

“I Want a Beer As Cold As My Ex-Wife’s Heart”

Medium

Behind the Hits

Long

By the Time We Got to Woodstock, Pt. I

* By the Time We Got to Woodstock, Pt. II

INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS

Short

Be A Pochemuchka!

(Not) Made In China

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