Uncle John’s Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader (37 page)

Thomas Jefferson, right? No, those words are from Virginia’s Declaration of Rights, written by another wealthy Virginian—George Mason. Jefferson was to borrow and edit Mason’s words less than two months later when he wrote the Declaration of Independence. Other parts of Mason’s document would later be used for the Bill of Rights. So why isn’t Mason as well known as Jefferson, Adams, Washington, and the other Founding Fathers?

CURIOUS GEORGE

George Mason was born to a wealthy Virginia family near the Potomac River in 1725. His father died when George was 10, so he was raised by his mother and his uncle, John Mercer, a prominent lawyer in the colony. Historians agree that young Mason benefited from the move because it provided him with access to his uncle’s private library—more than 1,500 volumes, most of them concerning history and the law. Although his future work would influence governments all over the world, Mason had virtually no formal schooling: he taught himself in that library. It was there, biographers say, that he learned and developed his theories about government—that too strong a central government was dangerous and that there must be protected rights for individuals—as well as his lifelong opposition to slavery (although he was, like Jefferson, a slave owner).

39.4% of U.S. energy comes from petroleum.

THE STRONG, SILENT TYPE

Known as an intensely private man, Mason believed in public service, but had no desire for the limelight and no interest in the “babblers” of national politics (he was elected to the Continental Congress in 1777 but refused the seat). Yet despite his disdain for national politics, his extensive legal knowledge (especially in English law), his strong beliefs in personal freedoms, and his hatred of British tyranny led him to a prominent position in the shaping of the United States.

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In the 1750s, he began a career in local Virginia politics as a trustee of the town of Alexandria and justice for Fairfax County.

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In 1759 Mason was elected to the Virginia House of Burgesses (the colonial legislature), where he first earned his reputation as a fearless critic of the British.

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In 1765 he wrote an open letter condemning and urging resistance to the infamous Stamp Act, Great Britain’s first direct tax on the colonies.

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In 1774 Mason and his neighbor, George Washington, wrote “The Fairfax Resolves,” calling for a congress of the colonies and a halt of trade with Great Britain. The Resolves were adopted by Virginia that year and by the Continental Congress in 1775.

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In 1776 he was asked to write Virginia’s Declaration of Rights (assisted by 25-year-old James Madison). That document is widely considered to be one of the most influential and important papers in the history of modern democratic government. Along with the “pursuit of happiness,” the extraordinary declaration also called for a separation of government powers, guaranteed freedom of the press, freedom of religion, and trial by a jury of one’s peers. It would soon serve as a model for other state declarations, and eventually for Jefferson’s Declaration of Independence, which spurred the American Revolution.

William Howard Taft was the second president to own a car, but he was too fat to drive it.

AT THE CONSTITUTIONAL CONVENTION

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In the summer of 1787, Mason, now an elder statesman, was called out of retirement to attend the Constitutional Convention and to assist in writing the new nation’s constitution. He took the job seriously, writing that the final work would affect “the happiness or misery of millions yet unborn.” He is considered one of the most influential participants—giving more than 136 speeches on the convention floor. But as the work progressed, Mason grew to dislike the direction in which he saw the document headed. On August 31, he announced “that he would sooner chop off his right hand” than see such a constitution passed. In September, Mason passed a list of “Objections to This Constitution of Government” to his colleagues. They outlined 16 points of contention. Among them:

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The working constitution contained no bill of rights for individuals—this was the worst problem, in Mason’s view.

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The Supreme Court was given too much power over state judiciaries, “enabling the rich to oppress and ruin the poor.”

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The president had excessive pardoning powers “which may be sometimes exercised to screen from punishment those whom he had secretly instigated to commit the crime, and thereby prevent a discovery of his own guilt.”

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Slaves were allowed to be imported for another 20 years. Mason wanted to immediately end the importation of slaves and to abolish slavery as soon as possible.

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The proposed constitution threatened to “produce a monarchy, or a corrupt, tyrannical aristocracy.”

PAYBACK

The Constitution was signed by the delegates on September 17, 1787—but George Mason was not among them. In the end, after having been so influential in the document’s creation, he refused to sign it, and the move is said to have cost him his long friendship with George Washington. Critics said that he had let his ego get the best of him; some even questioned his sanity. But Mason continued to fight for his changes, opposing the document’s ratification in Virginia. When the Constitution was formally ratified on July 2, 1788, Mason still opposed it.

No midnight snack? Snails can sleep for 3 years without eating.

As more and more Americans read the Constitution after its initial signing, it became obvious that many people shared Mason’s biggest fear: that it contained no bill of rights. In fact, many of the states ratified it only on the promise that such a bill would quickly be added. With pressure mounting from across the new nation, the anti-Bill of Rights contingent finally had to give in. In 1791 Congress made the first change to the U.S. Constitution by ratifying 10 amendments—the Bill of Rights.

The First, Second, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, and Eighth Amendments were all largely borrowed from Mason’s Virginia declaration, sometimes using his exact wording. Mason later wrote that “I have received much satisfaction from amendments to the federal Constitution that have lately passed. With two or three further amendments, I could cheerfully put my hand and heart to the new government.” (In 1795 the Eleventh amendment was passed, limiting the power of the Supreme Court over the states—another of Mason’s ideas.)

George Mason died on October 7, 1792 at his home in Virginia. His refusal to sign the Constitution makes him largely unknown to modern Americans, but his place as the “Father of the Bill of Rights” and one of the most important Founding Fathers is unquestioned. In 2002 he was finally recognized by the nation he helped found when the George Mason National Memorial was formally dedicated near the Thomas Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C.

THANKS, GEORGE

“In giving this account of the laws of which I was myself the mover and draughtsman, I by no means mean to claim to myself the merit of obtaining their passage. I had many strenuous coadjutors in debate, and one most steadfast, able, and zealous. This was George Mason, a man of the first order of wisdom among those who acted on the theatre of the revolution, of expansive mind, profound judgment, cogent in argument, learned in the lore of our former constitution, and earnest for the republican change on democratic principles.”

—
Thomas Jefferson, 1821

George Washington liked to tell dirty jokes.

It may shock you to learn that some people who are struck by lightning live to tell the tale
.

S
HOCKING STATISTICS

If you’re struck by a bolt of lightning, are you more likely to live or die? More likely than not, you’ll survive. The National Weather Service estimates that roughly 400 people are struck by lightning each year in the United States. Of these, only 10% are killed—and some of them could have been saved by CPR.

As for the survivors, 70% of them suffer long-term effects, including pain, stiffness, numbness, headaches, insomnia, hearing loss, fatigue, short-term memory loss, depression, and difficulty sitting for long periods of time. The remaining 30% have few or no long-term problems. Here are some folks who got lucky:

EDWIN E. ROBINSON
, 62, a former truck driver from Falmouth, Maine, who had lost most of his sight and hearing after suffering a head injury in a 1971 truck accident

The Strike:
In June 1980, Robinson was struck by lightning when he went into his backyard during a thunderstorm to look for his pet chicken. “It was like somebody cracked a whip over my head,” he told reporters. “I fell right on the ground, face forward.” Being struck by lightning would take a lot out of anyone, so after being struck, Robinson got up, went in the house, and took a nap. When he woke up 20 minutes later, he felt a little “rubbery,” but other than that he was fine.

Aftermath:
Most people would consider themselves lucky just to break even after a lightning strike, but Robinson’s health actually improved—somehow the electric shock reversed the brain damage from the 1971 truck accident and caused his hearing and sight to return. Robinson’s ophthalmologist has verified the improvement, but other eye specialists speculate that his was a case of “hysterical blindness”—Robinson
wanted
to think he was blind, and now he wants to think he’s been cured. Robinson says that’s “a load of bull.” He gives the credit to God. “He put me with this,” he says. “I coped with it, and when the time came, lightning struck me.”

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JOHN CORSON
, 56, of Madison, Maine

The Strike:
Corson was struck in July 2004, while working outside on his house just after a thunderstorm had passed by. “It was a whitish-blue, and so bright,” he told reporters. “I actually heard the snap, but I was paralyzed. My whole body was vibrating. It was a hell of a sensation.”

Aftermath:
The lightning strike tripped three circuit breakers in the garage, but Corson—who has had three heart surgeries—was not even knocked down. His knees buckled a little and the bolt left red marks on his shoulders. Otherwise he’s fine. In fact, he says he feels better than before. “I’m feeling like my body is light,” he says. “It’s the best I’ve felt in ten years.”

MARK DAVIDSON
, 33, a fisherman from Whitley Bay, England

The Strike:
Davidson got his jolt while fishing for salmon off the coast. “A lightning bolt hit the antenna mast on top of the wheel-house, then it went straight through me,” he says. “It felt like somebody had whacked me on the head with a hammer.” After the strike, Davidson’s friend fired off a distress flare and the Coast Guard came and took him to the hospital.

Aftermath:
Davidson was fine—and when he was released a few hours later, he headed right back out to fish. (He figured lightning never strikes the same place twice.)

DANYL LEVIEGE
, 44, an ex-preacher from Omaha, Nebraska

Strike:
LeViege was standing in the doorway of his porch watching storm clouds when lightning struck him on the neck—right on the spot where he was wearing a cross. “The lightning hit the necklace,” he says. “That’s where the pain was. I went flying.”

Aftermath:
The pain is gone, but LaViege still has burn marks. His wife, Sheila, says the bolt was the Almighty’s way of telling him to return to the ministry. “It’s a miracle,” she told
Jet
magazine. “I told him it happened for a reason. ‘God’s giving you a message. Straighten up.’”

CARRIE KWASNIEWSKI
, a constable in West Sussex, England

The Strike:
Kwasniewski, who patrols on bicycle, was struck while taking a report from a motorist. “There was an almighty flash, and a bolt shot through my arm, throwing me from my bike,” she says.

Gotta go: Stop signs weren’t used in the U.S. until 1927.

The bolt shot out the handlebar and struck the motorist’s car, knocking out its electrical system. “The woman said ‘did that really just happen?’” Kwasniewski says. “We just looked at each other and said, ‘we’ve just been struck by lightning.’”

Aftermath:
Kwasniewski’s arm felt a little tingly, but otherwise she felt fine. So she went on to her next assignment—taking a report from a nearby gas station that had been struck by lightning. “We’ve dubbed her Superwoman,” says her boss, Geoff Charnock.

JIM CAVIEZEL
, 35, the actor who played Jesus in the film
The Passion of the Christ