Undead L.A. 2 (29 page)

“Most of the individuals we selected offered something worthwhile,” Larry continued, ignoring Jeremy's childish taunt. “They had made contributions in science, the arts, medicine, and so on. Some simply allowed us a broader sampling of human beings in terms of races and cultures. And a very small number traded their cooperation for the chance to survive.”

“You mean they helped sell out the human race to save their own asses? Let me guess, most of them were politicians?”

“Yes,” Larry said, fixing Jeremy with a dark look. “It's true. Many of them were former world leaders. There were also business men and women, engineers, media, scientists, and members of the armed forces from each of your countries.”

“So basically everyone we relied on and trusted was in on it,” Jeremy slurred, sloshing his beer onto the table as he pointed his finger at the president's doppelganger to drive his point home. “The very people we trusted to take care of us were the ones that cut a deal to save their skin.”

“What you have to understand is that this was inevitable,” Larry urged. “We have been doing this for a long time and have become extremely proficient at it. A small number of humans who knew it was coming attempted to stop it by fighting against us. They were wiped out in under a month.”

“Jesus Christ,” Jeremy swore, feeling nauseous at what he'd just heard.
 

“And before you decide to climb up on your moral high horse and start handing out judgment on your fellow human beings, know that you made a choice to survive as well,” Larry scolded, “even if you can't remember it at the moment.”

“I did?” The impact of the words left him speechless. It didn't seem like something he would have done, but there was a small part of him that knew it was true, that it had to be true. He set his beer down and stared at the floor.
 

“How did it happen? For the others? The non-chosen ones?”

“We introduced a virus in two stages,” Larry admitted. “Despite sharing the same genome as each other, humans are surprisingly adept at ignoring their commonality and exaggerating their differences. We've come to believe this is an evolutionary trait designed to identify and classify objects and people. For us it's utterly fascinating, this idea of the individual. We don't have that in our society. All beings are equal and one would gladly sacrifice oneself for the good of the whole.”

“That's what I've been seeing hit Los Angeles over and over again,” Jeremy interrupted, disgusted by Larry's childlike fascination with the eradication and enslavement of the human race. “A virus?”

“Not just an ordinary cold,” Larry explained, frustration finally visible on his face for the first time. “We perfected and introduced the zombie virus. You see, the first phase of the virus lies dormant in the infected individual’s system and then a second element is introduced that sets it off.”

“Jesus Christ!”

The screens all around them began to show aerial shots over American cities with homeless people being transformed into vicious zombies and tearing anyone near them to shreds.
 

“Those we'd preselected were given immunity boosters, just in case, although it was a silly precaution since the vast majority of them were already long quarantined from the threat of violence before it began. You see, we weren't worried that they'd be transformed by a bite. We knew once this thing took off they would be torn to shreds and eaten if caught. Plus they’d run the risk of dying by any number of elements of chaos this virus would unleash. What good is surviving the zombie apocalypse if you just get run over by a car or electrocuted by a downed power line?”

“You used the homeless?”

“That's correct,” Larry said, puffing up in pride. “Humans all over the world have an underclass of people they simply ignore or reject. They live right among you, but they might as well be invisible for all the good it does them. While we can't quite comprehend how this works we knew these abandoned humans would make the perfect delivery system to spread the virus as quickly as possible. In Los Angeles there were over fifty-four thousand homeless people by the time the end came, most of them living in tent cities downtown.”

Jeremy looked up to see that all the television screens now showed scenes from downtown Los Angeles. The virus hit the shelters and food kitchens first, and began spreading out in waves. There were shots ringing out at the Emmy's with celebrities fleeing flesh-hungry monsters that overran them and tore them to bloody shreds while they shrieked in terror.
 

“Why? I don't understand,” Jeremy spat in horror. “Why go to all the trouble? If you wanted to kill us off and take our planet why bother torturing us in the process? What purpose does that serve? Was it just for your sick entertainment?”

The wide, bemused smile returned to Larry's face, clearing away all traces of his previous confusion, like a ray of sunshine blasting off coastal fog.
 

“We studied you for decades,” Larry disclosed. “Humans are unique in so many ways, not the least of which are their fears and anxieties. We came to learn that fear is one of the primary components for what makes you human. Just like violence, it is hardwired into your DNA. Fear isn't just a survival mechanism for you. It's a coded system for how you perceive your world. Humans don't just use fear to prevent themselves from being harmed, they also use it to motivate themselves, to entertain themselves, to excite themselves.”

“So we're lab rats in your apocalyptic game? Why zombies? Why not vampires or werewolves or the plague?”

“Now that is the first good question you've asked so far,” Larry praised, motioning to the people outside. Jeremy spun in his chair to see that the steady flow of foot traffic had transformed into a snarling horde of undead monsters, biting and tearing at each other. A woman's ear-piercing shriek rent the air as a pack of kids in Justin Bieber and One Direction shirts bit her arms and chest, ripping free chunks of bloody meat. Jeremy cringed in revulsion.

“Zombies represent your cultural fears and anxieties. Humans have used them to vent about everything from race relations to economic systems like consumerism, to fear of global pandemics like AIDS and Ebola, to terrorism. We wanted to understand you as best we could. What better way to know someone is there than to tap into their darkest, deepest fears?”

“So you just sit back in your space ships in the sky and watch the chaos, safe and out of harms way?”

“That's the Cliff's Notes version,” Larry jested, giving him the wink the president had become famous for when he first started stumping for the job. “Our technology is quite a bit more advanced than your understanding. It's difficult to explain how it works. Human minds don't have the capacity to grasp all of it, and not just because of the scientific concepts involved either. In part this is an evolutionary matter, since you are missing sense organs we were born with. Still you have the amazing capacity for abstract reasoning that allows you to know something without needing to get why it works. Most humans didn't know the mechanics behind electricity in full, but they understood that if they turned on the switch they got light.”

“Go ahead and give it a shot anyway,” Jeremy moaned, shaking his head. “You make us sound like some kind of mongrel species.”

“We are able to capture your thoughts and collect them,” Larry said, looking nervous for the first time since he'd arrived, if that was the right word to use for him being here. “We started with cities like Los Angeles all over the world, observing and collecting the inner thoughts and ideas of the people affected by the crisis. We've preserved them in a digital form as a sort of holographic record of how your species functions. Some of the people involved were fully translated. Most were simply observed.”

“What's the difference? What do you mean by
translated
?”

“We took the entire essence of who they were and created a digital copy capable of interacting,” Larry professed. “This allows us to introduce them to a synthetic reality and see them interact with others. These were individuals not preselected to be part of the million organic survivors, people who still offered interesting perspectives on your race as a whole, whose stories were unique in some way.”

“Is that what I am?” Larry stood up, knocking his beer over in the process. A rope of sparkling gold flowed onto the floor as the bottle emptied, splashing against his shoes. “A hologram for you to mess with?”

Larry smiled in wonder at Jeremy's anger, his eyes locked on him like he was at the theater taking in a breathtaking performance.
 

“You are so much more,” Larry declared. “You are without a doubt one of our most valuable and priceless acquisitions.”

“Yeah, right,” Jeremy scoffed. “I'm sure you're the low level tech they sent in to placate me while they reboot the program.”

“On the contrary,” Larry refuted. “We don't have a caste system as such, so the idea of lower and higher is irrelevant in our reality, but just so you know, I volunteered for this. It is a great honor to be in your presence, Jeremy. There were many who were what you might call jealous that I got to be the one here with you.”

“Why is that again?”

“The fame and adoration you experienced during your time on Earth was extraordinary and well deserved,” Larry almost gushed. “But it is nothing compared to how popular you are now.”

“Come again?” Jeremy sat back down, feeling his buzz return as the anger subsided and his curiosity rose like a talking snake. He reached his hand out and once again his ice-cold beer was in it, more than half full. He no longer questioned why as he brought it to his lips and chugged down a hearty swig.

“It's true,” Larry said, his eyes filled with adoration. “You are the single most popular performer we've ever known in the entire history of our kind. You are beloved, and not just because you are talented. We love you because you chose this. You were one of the million, Jeremy. You were brought to us whole and safe and in one piece and placed in a perfect environment, a crime-free replica of Los Angeles. You could have spent the rest of your life in peace and quiet, never having to see us or interact with our kind again, and you rejected it.”

“I did?” A memory was floating to the surface again. This time Jeremy didn't try to repress it. He saw himself sitting on a plush sofa looking out through a bay window into a pristine neighborhood in Brentwood. He felt the boredom painfully sinking in, felt his desire to go beyond simply surviving and being something more again, yearning for new stimulation.

“Indeed,” Larry assured him. “While the vast majority of your kind were simply relieved to still be alive no matter what the conditions, you were not content with a meager existence. Peace and quiet didn't suit you. You approached us and asked about the possibility of being translated.”

“You’ve used that phrase before,” Jeremy recalled. “What does it mean?”
 

“It's a process that allows us to capture you,” Larry explained. “Not your body, but your mind—your memories, the real essence of who you are. You were right earlier when you said you were still you. There is no question about it. But instead of being limited to what the decaying organic matter of your natural body is capable of you are now virtually indestructible, a bundle of tightly wrapped data capable of interacting, feeling, and perceiving new experiences without the threat of disease or even death. This allows us to introduce you to new virtual environments where you encounter predetermined situations and react to them.”

“So it's like living out one movie after another?”
 

“Precisely,” Larry agreed. “That's a great way of looking at it, only instead of pretending to be someone you are not you actually become that person.”

“So why don't I remember any of this?”

“You do,” Larry beamed, “once your performance is complete and has been captured. But while you are in your virtual environment all previous knowledge of your experiences is reduced back to what is essential for you to know. That way your reactions remain authentic, your responses visceral and genuine. That's what makes you the best. There is no one who can hold a candle to one of your performances, Jeremy. Quite simply put, we've never seen anything like it. That's why it's an honor to be sitting here with you, sir.”

“You make it sound so amazing, but from what I can remember all I've done is sit in my house reliving the same day over and over again.” Jeremy felt the anger leaving him now as excitement replaced it, the questions multiplying in his head like leaves shaking on a tree.

“That's just the glitch,” Larry said reassuringly. “It's being dealt with. Soon you'll be returned to normal and this memory will be removed and stored. Think of this as behind the scenes footage that will be added to a DVD, like a directors commentary.”

“At this point I'd just be happy to leave my house again and see other people,” Jeremy admitted, feeling giddy at the possibility. “So how does it work? Do I get a say in where I end up next?”

“Yes and no,” Larry cautioned. “We've always taken into consideration what you want, but there are others who determine how you are cast, so to speak.”

“Who?”

“Your adoring fans.” Larry waved his hands to reveal a sea of humans screaming and chanting Jeremy’s name. They were no longer in the bar. Now they sat in a studio on comfy couches as if they were on a daytime television talk show. There was a great wall of glass behind them that Larry had gestured to, where throngs of people cried out for him like he was one of the Beatles. In his heyday he hadn't known this level of popularity. It was intoxicating. Another glitch hit them, causing the crowd of admirers to warp into monstrous aliens, but Jeremy didn't mind anymore. The attention was intoxicating.
 

“All of these people are here for me?” Jeremy questioned, his voice near a whisper.
 

“And billions more sentient beings,” Larry grinned. “It's safe to say, in the parlance of your times, that you are more popular than Jesus ever was, if not simply more entertaining. Every second of the day there are fans downloading and reliving your adventures. You are quite simply an entertainment god. It's part of why you were attacked.”