Under My Skin (12 page)

“Yes, I did, but that body was far too fragile. The mind broke like a reed in the wind.” He leaned forward and the corner of his mouth slid into a half-smile. “I guess the General has his work cut out for him. Is he awake?”

I bit the inside of my mouth as apprehension jolted my insides. They talked about all these other bodies as if they were clothes you wore from day to day.

When I didn’t answer, he continued his light conversation with Rebecca. “The ride here from Easton was rough. There’s unrest in the New Amesbury due to Adam’s temper.”

“The capital’s rife with such things, but yes, I’d heard rumors the Prime Minister’s new body isn’t working properly.”

“He should’ve acquired one through the auction, but he’s determined to keep the one he has.”

Rebecca laughed. “You have the keys to the universe, and yet some of you prefer to hold onto the vestiges of vanity.”

“I’m like any other man. I tire of taking on the body of a boy every few decades.”

“You are spry and young now. Don’t you enjoy all the new things you can do?” The jovial expression on her face appeared artificial, as if she made conversation with someone she wanted to impress. What I wanted was for both of them to leave me alone.

He sighed and took a sip of his tea. “The body I have at the moment is just another role to assume. Another face that must take control of my household and my lands. This past year hasn’t been easy. But enough about me.” His gaze shifted back to mine.

“There are problems in New Amesbury, sir. You need to make an appearance there as soon as possible. With the unrest in the north, the other high-ranking officers are vying for power to help the Prime Minister.” His voice took on a more serious tone. “I know you are in the middle of your transition, but it is most important you take control soon. Neighboring islands have been fighting with us. The Prime Minister will be looking for someone with experience to help end the conflict.”

I waited for something to happen—for the tingling sensation to come, but the General remained silent. Hope slipped through to me. Maybe something had happened to him and he disappeared?

“There’s another thing you need to worry about. You’re not the only one who’d be great to rally the troops. Two other generals would like to take control as well. And they are more than willing to kill you to take it.” Our gazes locked.

“Do you understand, sir? Are you there?”

Silence filled the room and my fear intensified.

“This is a dire situation and you need to show me you understand—”

“Quit your blathering, boy,” my mouth growled. “I’ve listened to everything you had to say.”

The moment he took over my mouth, it was like watching a ventriloquist handle a dummy. It was my voice, but it wasn’t “
my
voice.”

Blood rushed to my head. I reached for the edge of the couch. All this time, he’d been awake. “For how long have you been—” I managed to murmur.

He chuckled in my head, soft and menacing.
“Wouldn’t you love to know?”

“My apologizes, sir.” Alphonse lowered his head.

Even Rebecca’s face took on a stricken appearance. “Do you have the passphrase, Master?”

My mouth moved again without my volition. “The passphrase is
vital importance
. Ask for the second one next time if you have doubts.”

I clasped my left hand over my mouth. The sensation was nauseating. The way he used me was such a violation of my free will that I couldn’t stomach the idea of letting him speak again. But the General wasn’t done with me yet. Like a vengeful appendage with a will of its own, my right hand grabbed my left and yanked it off my mouth. When I tried to use my left to grab the right, he slapped me hard in the face.

The sound bounced from the corners.

My cheek burned from the force of the slap and all I could do was sit there, completely stunned, while Rebecca and Alphonse glared at me. As if I were the one who was violating the general.

“I’ll be ready to journey to the capital soon enough, boy,” I snapped. “I just need more time to take control of this one.”

Alphonse nodded.

“You tell Kennedy that if that man wants to come for me—and it won’t be the first time he’s tried to do it—you tell him to come find me. No more slinking around like vermin in the night. If he wants to kill me, he better do it with his bare hands.”

“Understood, sir.”

My left hand clenched while I watched my right as he spoke. The right hand gestured as he spat curses from my mouth. He couldn’t do this to me. My heartbeat accelerated. Panic rose higher and higher, forcing me to suck in air. The General gasped between words.

“Damn body,” he slammed my right fist into the couch. “You two are dismissed. I’ve worked hard enough today.”

Rebecca rose, while Alphonse did the same and saluted me. They marched out of the room and left me alone with Cecelia and Captain Belfry.

“Are you ready to go back to bed, Master?” she asked in a quiet voice.

I waited for him to make a snide comment, but my head was silent once again. With my left hand, I touched my right. The hand was mine again, I hoped.

“Yeah, I want to lie down.” Or throw up in private.

When Cecelia wheeled me past the Master of Blades, I didn’t want to look at him, but there was something about his face, his demeanor, that forced me steal a glance. His mouth formed a straight line, eyebrows furrowed, and his gaze had unwavering focus on me.

Cecelia took me back to the room and helped me into bed. She said nothing to me when I climbed onto the mattress with my dress on. I just wanted to turn my back away from her, close my eyes, and wish I was somewhere else. I wished that my mom and dad were in the other room and that everything were okay. This somewhere I wanted to be wasn’t a place where people did horrible things to others.

By the next morning, the General kept his promise. I woke up to him ordering Des and Penelope around like a drill sergeant.

“Stop dawdling and bring me the food!”

Sleep clung to me, and I wasn’t surprised, since I had trouble falling asleep. All night, I’d been worried over Captain Belfry’s murderous intent. But something bothered me even more. Why hadn’t I woken up when I started talking?

“I bet it’s cold already,” my mouth spat. “And you,” he addressed Des, “mind your work. Don’t think just because I’m sleeping that I’m not listening.”

They had to know this wasn’t me talking. Their faces said it all. Des wasn’t the bright woman who greeted me every morning. She focused on her work and didn’t look my way. Dread poured over me in waves. What was coming next?

“Just shut up and leave them alone,” I said. “My head should be my own.”

“Not anymore. This is my home now. The sooner you realize this, the easier the transition will be.”
His voice took on a softer tone.
“Didn’t you hear what Alphonse said? What Desdemona told you? Those people suffered when they fought against the Guild. Just like you’re doing against me right now. Do you want me to make you suffer? Do you like pain?”

I shoved the tray of food across the bed. The scent from the platter of eggs, bacon, and toast soured my stomach.

“If the pain means you don’t get to have me, then bring it on.”

He chuckled.
“As much as I hate to have to work for this body, I prefer the challenge. Is that what you want this morning? A fight?”

I watched my right hand twitch and then it clenched into a fist. Not far from me, Des and Penelope watched me with sad eyes. Cecelia enjoyed her breakfast without a casual glance in my direction.

“No,” I replied to him. “I don’t want to fight with you.”

“Then get that tray and eat. Now.”

I grabbed the tray and took a big bite of the toast, scowling through every bite. Even though I refused to touch the meat, the General kept quiet. I was sure he’d speak again when he wanted his needs met. And it didn’t take long.

“You’re expected to stay at my side during this period,” the General said to Captain Belfry as he guarded the room.

“Yes, sir.” Captain Belfry kept his eyes on the far wall and didn’t so much as twitch.

“I don’t trust her. Don’t disappoint me, either. I appointed you Master of Blades because you’re the best at what you do. Even at your age. But I’ll have you digging trenches if you fail to protect me while I’m in this condition.”

“I will be diligent, sir.”

By midday, it was easy to discern the General from myself. He continued to bark out orders and kept people scurrying about. “I need my clothes prepared, Rebecca. We’ve already discussed this, but I want to make sure my orders are understood.”

“Of course, Master. The seamstress has prepared a new dress with your insignias sewed on the front. All your expected alterations have been made.”

“How are the preparations for the transfer of my estate to Elise Dagon?”

This new name piqued my interest. A few hours earlier, I’d heard Rebecca mention it to Des briefly.

“Already in progress, Master. The bar code is now registered under her name.”

Based on everything they discussed, my new identity, or, I should say, the General’s new name was Elise. A new name to go with his new face. His life would continue while mine would come to an end.

While those two discussed their business, I tried to take back my mouth, but he pushed my control away like swatting at a horsefly. I blinked rapidly and shifted in my seat.

“Stop, it. This isn’t the time to get fidgety. What did I tell you earlier, girl?”

I finally took control of my mouth. Or perhaps he gave it to me. “I don’t like the way this feels.”

Rebecca was taken aback and watched me talk to myself—and most likely reply to words she couldn’t hear.

“You don’t have to like anything I do to you. You’ll keep quiet or I’ll do something you really don’t like.”

“Or what? You’re already in my head. What can you do me?”

“Oh, I don’t have to punish you. I can punish someone else. Maybe Des. Or perhaps I should send someone to visit your village? A group of enforcers to have a chit-chat with your family?”

My stomach jumped. Since he was in my head, he felt it too. My surrender. For now.

The three days leading up to the trip to New Amesbury were long and torturous. As my strength returned, the General strengthened as well. Our little talk had left me shaken. He still needed me though. I moved around for him and he still had periods where he “slept.” During those times, I explored the house and kept to myself. Cecelia pushed me around wherever I wanted to go. Captain Belfry followed us but didn’t interfere.

Gone were the mornings where Des greeted me with a smile and offered me green apples. On the day before the transport ship planned to take me to the capitol, she didn’t look me in the eye. She was far too busy listening to Rebecca drone on about the preparations.

“The Master needed all of the clothes in the trunks hours ago, Penelope.” She directed her questions to Des next. “Do we have all the medications?”

“Yes, Miss Rebecca, yes. Quit worrying. Just because the Master is here doesn’t mean you need to gripe about everything.”

Rebecca glanced at me and her mouth formed a thin line. Even with Des’s words, how did she know if General Dagon was awake or not? All this time, I didn’t know either. That was until I really paid attention to my body. I hadn’t truly thought about it, listening to my pulse—feeling the sensation of hot and cold on my skin. The creepy feeling of crawling bugs wasn’t there anymore. Something new took its place. When General Dagon took over to speak, something deep inside of me melted into a puddle of fear. An instinctual desire for me to flee and claw my way out of my prison. Even when he didn’t speak, I felt it. Like right now.

He waited like a patient, prowling cat. A leopard waiting to pounce and tear at its victim. That frightened me the most. He was forever watching and observing everything around him. His presence lingered for a bit and then it vanished again.

Sleep eluded me the night before my trip. The shadows in the master suite appeared more ominous. I sat in bed and glanced out the window. The room was warm with a well-tended fire in the hearth and dimmed lights so I could sleep. Part of me wished I could play the piano in the corner. Anything to end the silence.

I’d already completed the puzzle Des had given me.

Earlier, I’d asked Rebecca for some holo-videos to watch, but, of course, programming came from the communications console, and Rebecca wasn’t ready to give me access to it yet. After more griping, she relented and gave me access to a few of the paperbacks from the General’s library.

As she left me with my pile, she snorted and offered a tart comment. “Might as well enjoy books while you can.”

I dove into the pile and checked to see what she’d brought me. Most of them were written by authors I’d never heard of before, but no tales like the ones I’d read from Sophie Saint John. The titles I’d been offered gave a clue to their sleep-inducing content. Who in their right mind would be able to sit and read
The History of the National Tax Code
? I loved history and all, but even I had my limits. Compared to that, even my homework would’ve been more interesting.

I picked one of the other titles, a simple book with hand-drawn insects. Very beautiful and fascinating with descriptions of the insects.

I browsed through the book, not really caring what I found—until I came to an insect I hadn’t seen for a while. I traced my fingers over a picture of a praying mantis. The drawing portrayed the insect perched over a grasshopper. The unsuspecting grasshopper had no idea its life would end soon, that this creature would snatch it and kill it while eating it
alive
.

A chill swept down my spine and then climbed back up to the nape of my neck. The hairs on the back of my neck stiffened. When I looked at the picture again, I knew the General was awake.

Like a low-lying fog sweeping across a field, one minute the picture was there and the next, it wavered. My mind came undone and everything in the room turned to gray. As the picture dimmed even more, I clawed at consciousness—fought with everything I had to stay awake, to shake the feeling of falling asleep. But my salvation never came.