Under My Skin (21 page)

I groaned. “What do you care, Cecelia?”

She didn’t answer—only stared back at me with venomous eyes.

“You’ve skated along with the assumption you won’t have to be where I am right now,” I said. “So why don’t you sit all nice and quiet-like until it’s your turn to take the heat.”

I’d picked a fight with her again, and immediately felt sorry for doing so, but I couldn’t survive like this if she made the situation so negative. My life already had taken a poor turn. I might as well enjoy the little things while I still had time and freedom.

Our argument was forgotten once we reached the grand ballroom. This time everything was decorated with spring colors. The banners hanging down from the ceiling drew my eye and made me want to gape at the yards of bright yellow, red, and green colors. Servants offered drinks from golden trays in the shapes of leaves. To add to the merry ambiance, an orchestra played lively music.

The same cast of characters was here as well. Men and women mingled with the people who could’ve been their sons and daughters. I tried to make my way to the far wall to sit on one of the chairs, but the General’s friends wanted his attention.

It went on that way for the next hour, conversations with dry jokes. People who openly ignored me if the General wasn’t present.

Not long after a third person brushed past me, Cecelia excused herself to talk to another Second Water Bearer. I thought I’d finally found a moment to be alone, but then I spotted Zoe. My hand quickly went up to wave. Maybe she’d see me this time, and we’d talk like we were family again.

She had seen me. But when my cousin marched up to me, her smile was gone. Her brown eyes roamed over my new dress. I clutched my purse tighter and wished I’d found a spot in the sitting room where I could’ve been alone for the rest of the ball.

“Not the choice I’d expect you to make, Frederick. What made you want to use this girl as your stylist?”

My heart clenched. With Zoe so close, I wanted to say something to her, but with Justina in charge, it was as if my cousin were gone already. The urge to walk away was so strong, I could practically see the path to escape, but I took a deep breath instead and faced my adversary head on.

“The General’s not home,” I bit out. “If you’d like to leave a message, I’ll be sure to carve it out of his heart in the manner you talked about when we met last time.”

Her eyes didn’t blink while she stared me down. She didn’t even look at her Second Water Bearer when he brought her another drink. “Not the same little shy girl, are we?”

“It’s not hard when someone says they’d like to carve your heart out.”

“I wasn’t referring to that day.” She took a sip and then circled me like a lioness. “You don’t remember the first time we met, do you?”

“You’re not exactly dressed in your ‘old clothes.’” On any other day, I would’ve shrunk away from someone talking to me like this, but the words came fast. “If you had another body, I guess it was so plain and ugly, you got rid of it. I’ve done the same with my clothes.”

Her mouth spread into a wide grin. For half a second, a memory tickled my mind, a memory where I’d seen that smile before on a face I hadn’t seen since the auction. I glanced at her face before I blurted, “You. The test.”

Zoe clapped. “Bravo! So there are a few brain cells left in there.”

“You gave up a body like that,” I breathed, “to take over my cousin?” She’d been perfect, but not perfect enough, apparently.

“Welcome to my world, Sweetie. I pay to stay beautiful. You won’t be around long enough to see the next crop of Water Bearers pop up, but if you did, you might see what I’ll see.” She reached for the strap of my dress and ran her finger along the ribbon. Her hand drifted down my arm to snatch my wrist. All the while, I had to keep telling myself,
this isn’t Zoe, this isn’t Zoe.
“Learn what I’ve learned. That your body will shrivel away if used too long. The mind’s a fragile thing and with too many people playing cook in the kitchen, there’s bound to be a cracked egg or two.”

I pulled back, but she refused to let me go.

“Are you there, Frederick?” she asked. “I bet you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

Someone stepped between us and grabbed her wrist. “He might be enjoying it, but the young lady isn’t.”

I turned toward the man who stood between us. His dark green eyes sparkled with mischief. In one glance, I took him in—from his uniform to the shiny boots on his feet.

With a sly grin, Quinn pulled me away from Justina’s grasp.

“Are you injured, sir?” Quinn asked me.

My mind was numb, but Quinn was waiting for something, the signal, a gesture I’d been waiting to use for this past week.

I nodded, barely able to bring my trembling hand to my mouth. He took my hand and entwined it with his. It felt good to see his face again, to know he’d decided to come back for me. I couldn’t keep myself from hugging him, from burying my face in his black uniform. I didn’t care who saw us. The stiff cotton scratched against my nose, but I didn’t care about that either. I wasn’t alone in this room of strangers anymore. Even after what had happened, Quinn decided to come back to me. He didn’t blame me for what the General had done.

“I didn’t expect such a welcome,” he whispered against my hair.

I quickly backed away and tried to hide my exuberance. This was Quinn after all, and now I had to stop embarrassing myself. Why had I hugged him like that? He was so tall, so handsome.

He offered his arm. “Stroll with me.”

I glanced around for Cecelia, but she was nowhere to be seen. I took his arm and we flowed through the crowd.

“What took you so long? I was worried about you,” I whispered, so low I wondered if he’d heard me. But he did.

“I needed time.”

“Did you take care of him? Say goodbye?”

He nodded. “I made sure he had a proper burial.”

We passed by so many members of the Guild, and they barely gave us a sidelong glance.

“Would you like something to drink?” he asked me.

Once we reached a quiet spot in the corner, he surprised me by leaning close to my ear. A sensation similar to a feather tickled my ear lobe. At first, I leaned back, but he grabbed me by the shoulders. “Why are you so skittish all of a sudden? I don’t bite.” He laughed softly.

I relaxed slightly. “I’ve had some hard times.”

“But you’ve survived. You’re still alive. That’s a good sign.”

With him standing next to me, I thought back to all the times I’d missed out on what other girls my age might’ve taken for granted. To have a boy this close. Close enough for him to brush against my ear. Close enough for the stubble on his cheek to tickle my skin.

“Either way, with what little time we have now, we need to act fast,” Quinn whispered. “Since you’ve kept your side of the bargain, I’ve already made arrangements for you to meet the right people to help you.”

“Once we get you…” he trailed off and looked behind him. Someone was coming, Cecelia. A stolen moment lost.

Even though Quinn returned to his position as Master of Blades, everything didn’t immediately get better. I’d lost another day to General Dagon, and the three times I tried to get to the study to have a private conversation with Quinn, Rebecca had caught me on the way.

After my escape to the Winston Institute, she often locked me in the master suite.

“You’ve become a nuisance. A persistent one at that,” she’d said that morning. “I told my master we need to break you until your mind splinters apart.”

From the way she sneered at me, I felt it was safe to assume I’d survived much longer than the others. Each host must’ve vanished without an afterthought. I hadn’t fallen so easily.

But that also meant I was living on borrowed time. I didn’t have days or weeks. He was waiting for the right time to take me out for good.

I had to get out of this room, and I only had one choice: lie. I had to do something I’d already begun to do: pretend I was him.

“May I have the passcode, Master?” she asked.

“The passcode is
victorious
.” Fortunately, she asked for one of the passcodes I’d already used. “Be sure to ask for another if you are not sure. I don’t trust that girl.” I frowned for good measure, anything to keep the moment serious. “Is there anything else, or do you plan to stare at me for the rest of the day?” At first, I felt guilty for talking to her like that, but I had to play the game if I wanted to live.

She hesitated, taken aback. Even Quinn looked slightly amused.

“No, Master,” she said. “Would you like a drink while you read the network news this morning?”

I wanted to be alone with Quinn, but I couldn’t take any chances. “Bring my usual. You know what I want.”

“Of course, Master.” Her eyes glowed, and I wondered,
How could she admire a man like him?

I left the master suite and soon reached the point where I was now—hoping to talk to Quinn about how I’d escape to get help. But not before my drink was delivered.

Rebecca brought a shot glass filled with a maple-colored fluid. “Your drink, Master. Is there anything else?”

This was a familiar scene to me, and I already knew what to say. “No. Make sure my affairs are taken care of today. I have things to do.”

She turned, ready to leave.

“Oh, and Rebecca?”

She returned with a slight smile. “Master?”

“I don’t want to be disturbed. Do you understand?”

“Always as you wish, Master.”

Now that I was alone, I poured half of that vile drink into one of the potted plants. Hopefully, no one would smell it. Leaning against the wall, Quinn chuckled at my antics.

Now it was time for business. I gave Quinn the signal. “What do I need to do to get this process started?”

“If you’re able, meet me tonight at the guard house,” Quinn instructed. “I’ll take care of everything else. We’ll also need a new system in place in case of emergencies, a rapid-fire number exchange.”

Seemed like an easy enough request. All I had to do was make my schedule fit his. On most nights, I slept with no problem. He actually preferred for me to sleep. Perhaps it was all due to his desire for a fit body. But like all things, I didn’t trust the General and couldn’t predict when he’d awaken.

I took a catnap that afternoon and into the evening. If the General was going to appear, he would’ve showed up by this point. Perhaps I had a free evening to myself. But, of course, that wasn’t the case. Lieutenant Alphonse Kelping stopped by and I had to play hostess. Since the General didn’t make an appearance as desired, I was left to entertain him. Playing the role of the so-called foolish girl came easily. I’d done a lot of acting lately.

“I can see I won’t have any intelligent conversation this evening.” He even mocked me while he used his napkin to wipe off his mouth.

I ignored him and ate the salad on my plate. The bits of chicken had been cast away to a saucer. While Alphonse had droned on about the stirrings among the Guild members, I’d plucked each of the pieces of chicken from the salad. A much more interesting task. But, I was at least paying some attention to him. Any juicy gossip would be to my advantage. I’d never know if I didn’t listen.

“I’m surprised you’re hanging on this long.” He eyed me with a grin, this time, while he sipped his drink. “A girl like you should’ve folded a long time ago. The General’s usually quite persuasive.”

I took another bite. Chewed for as long as possible. “I’m sure he is.”

His jaw twitched. “I’m curious to know why you’re fighting him.”

I didn’t reply but focused on the salad. It tasted quite good. I relished the crispiness of the lettuce.

“You’re putting innocent people in danger, Myrian citizens who depend on the military for protection.” He continued to stab at me with words. “Do you realize you’re preventing an important man from doing his job?” Even though a few of them hurt, that was all they were: words. Someone like Alphonse couldn’t do anything to me. At that very moment, this realization hit me.

“Number one, I have no intention of giving up,” I replied. “Number two, I’m trying to enjoy my meal.”

He laughed and then stared at me. “So this must be what he faces every day.” He put down his drink and leaned over the table. From his position across from me, I could make out the details on his black uniform: the insignias next to his lapel, the brass buttons along his chest. But that wasn’t what truly caught my eye. It was the streak of blue veins that peeked from the underside of his neck and touched the edge of his jaw. I clenched the fork tighter.

He continued. “But you won’t be the first or the last person to put up a fight. That is the way of the jungle. The hunter must feed and the prey must fall.”

Even though I couldn’t bury the thoughts of the blue markings on his neck, I replied to him with furor, “I bet you’re glad I’m not the body you chose. Would you be ready to hunt another tiger?”

His smile widened, making his boyish features sinister. “Under most circumstances, I would. Why do think most Guild members are so aggressive?”

I didn’t answer him.

“Because we have to be. Do you think I would’ve survived for the past one hundred and fifty years on charity and kindness?” He snorted. “I’ll live forever because I want to be in control. I deserve to be. It’s because of me my household has food, shelter, and their children will be educated.”

I wanted to reply back he
paid
a staff who’d raise their children—the cattle as Claire had said—to be the next harvest for the Guild. How helpful of him.

For the next half hour, we finished our meals and ate dessert. He tried to draw me into conversation again, but I didn’t take the bait. I wanted the meal to be over soon so I could meet Quinn.

When it was time for Alphonse to leave, he rose with a brief, “Have a good evening, sir. I hope next time you can make an appearance.” He stared at me, maybe hoping the General would come to the surface. When he didn’t, he left the room without saying goodbye to me. It was just as well. To him, I was a persistent burr in the General’s side.

Once I returned to the master suite, I dressed in a black jumpsuit and boots. A light cloak would keep me comfortable from the spring chill in the air. I left the master suite and headed down the darkened hallways toward the side entrance. As I approached the doors, two guards waited in front. If I played the role right, I could get past them with no problems.