Under Your Skin (17 page)

“You want to talk about a talk?” One eyebrow—the left one with the small scar above it—arched.

“You know what I mean. We said stuff that can't be unsaid.”

“So?”

“So what are we going to do about it?”

“Nothing.”

The word was sharp and jabbed at her. But really, what did she expect? That he'd been simply waiting for her to say something before sweeping her off her feet?

“Why not?”

“A lot of reasons.” He stepped closer and palmed her belly. “She's the biggest one.”

The fact that he referred to her child as
she
shouldn't have been endearing, but Norah melted a little over it. “She'll be out of the picture in a couple of weeks.”

Just then, Ella kicked and flipped. “Whoa.” It was hard enough to steal Norah's breath.

Kai jerked his hand away. “You okay?”

Norah nodded.

“Just because you have her doesn't mean she'll be gone. You have a lot going on.”

“So a little escape would be good.”

“I'm not an escape. Go find some little frat boy.”

She wrinkled her nose at him. “I don't want a frat boy. Been there, done that. I want something different. I like you.”

“You don't even know me.”

Well, damn, he had her there. “I like the parts I know. You remembered what kind of yogurt I crave and bought me some, even though it's disgusting. You held me and let me cry on you when my ex was an asshole. You offered to beat up my brother for making me cry. You love your mom even when she makes you crazy.” She stepped closer, her belly brushing against him. “And I really, really liked the way you kissed me.”

“You choose to see what you want. You wouldn't like the rest. This can't go anywhere.”

“You said you want me.”

“I'm no stranger to wanting what I can't have.”

“But you can have me.”

He turned and stepped away. “No, Norah, I can't.”

“Why not?”

He didn't answer. He got into his car and pulled away. Norah went back into the house, even more frustrated.

Lani was dressed for their walk. “Ready?”

“Sure. Let's go.” Maybe a little exercise would relax her tense muscles and calm the baby.

As they eased down the sidewalk, Lani talked about her latest book and how she couldn't wait for her next book club. Norah only halfway listened because she had to focus on walking. Her breaths were a little shallow and it felt like she wore a belt that tightened with each step.

“What do you think?” Lani asked.

“I'm sorry, what?”

“I said, do you think Kai would let me host again? The house is so quiet while he's at work and we don't have to censor our language.”

“I don't know, but you should ask.” Norah knew he wouldn't deny his mom's request, even though he'd hate every minute. She touched Lani's arm. “Do you think we can cut this a little short today? I'm not feeling well.”

“Sure. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it's just stress, maybe some gas.” She took a slow, steadying breath. They walked back to the house, which suddenly felt like it was a mile away.

Crap. If it was already this hard to keep moving, how would she ever last beyond her due date? She and Lani held on to each other as they climbed the steps. In the living room, they both sat on the couch.

Norah rubbed her belly in rhythmic circles.

“You're not looking so good.”

“I'm fine. Just need a break.” She closed her eyes and imagined sitting on the beach, water lapping at her feet. Nothing calmed her though. Her breathing still felt short and she was restless. The need to move forced her back to her feet. Her back ached and the tight feeling around her belly constricted, but at least the baby stopped kicking. She probably fell asleep to the motion of Norah's swaying body.

Norah walked to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. She hoped the cool liquid would soothe her. That was when the first sharp pain hit. Her knees almost buckled. She knocked the glass over on the counter and it rolled until it fell and shattered on the floor.

“Norah?”

Norah took a deep breath as the pain subsided. “I'm okay. Just dropped a glass.”

She straightened and inhaled to make sure the pain was truly gone. She was okay, so she lowered to the floor with some paper towel to clean up the glass. Great. In addition to feeling like an ox, she had the grace of one as well. After dumping all of the shards in the trash, she wet the paper towel to grab the pieces that were nearly unnoticeable.

The simple task wore her out. She washed her hands to make sure no glass stuck to her and went back to the living room. As she neared the couch, another pain hit.

“Norah, you're pale. And that didn't look like a baby kick. I think you're in labor.”

No.
No.
She wasn't due for another week and a half. Maybe more. She shook her head. Lani pushed up from the couch and walked over to where Norah had a death grip on the armchair.

Norah pushed back. “I'm okay. See?”

“That's the way contractions work. They start, stop, start. I think we should call an ambulance.”

“No. I can't afford an ambulance. Plus, they'll take me to the closest hospital. I want to be with my doctor. I'll call Jimmy.”

She dug her phone out of her purse. She got Jimmy's voice mail, so she left a message and hoped it didn't freak him out too much. Then she called her doctor who started asking questions like how far apart the contractions were. Like Norah paid attention to that? She guessed eight or ten minutes. The doctor said she had time and didn't have to rush to the hospital, but she should get there.

“Lani, you can sit back down. Jimmy will call back. He'll come and get me.” Another contraction hit, stopping her from saying more.

“That was no eight minutes.”

“It's fine. Jimmy will come.” He always did. If she believed in nothing else, she could believe in that.

The restlessness attacked again. She wanted to move, but she didn't. She wanted to sit, curl into a ball, and wait for it all to go away, but then she wanted to stomp her feet. She settled for a short pacing circuit in the living room under Lani's watchful eye.

“It's probably not even the real thing. There's such a thing as false labor, right? That totally sounds like something that would happen to me.”

Another contraction hit and Norah began to realize it probably was the real deal. And no way was she ready.

Lani's voice reached her as the pain waned and Norah realized she was talking on the phone. Then she was rubbing Norah's back. “Kai's on his way. He'll take you to the hospital.”

“Jimmy will come.” Kai wasn't supposed to take her to the hospital. Then she realized Kai would probably send Tommy. Tommy was an acceptable substitute for Jimmy. She took a few more steps and turned again. Lani had disappeared from her side, and Norah appreciated the freedom.

When the pain returned, it didn't seem as bad this time. She didn't even have to bend over. It was like passing a gas bubble—uncomfortable, but not painful. Maybe it was a false alarm. The front door flung open and Kai stomped in.

Kai was going to kill his mother for pulling this. She needed to understand he had a business to run. “What the hell is going on?”

“Norah needs to get to the hospital, just like I told you when I called.” The look on her face told him she was serious.

“I thought you were playing games.” He looked at Norah. “I thought you weren't due yet.”

“I'm not. Why didn't you send Tommy?”

“I don't know where Tommy is. He's not working today.” Suddenly, his mom was at his side, handing him a towel and a plastic bag. “What's this?”

“Go put the plastic on your seat and cover it with the towel in case her water breaks.”

Aw, fuck. That was disgusting. “Call an ambulance.”

“No. I want my hospital with my doctor.” Norah waved a hand, but he saw she was weak. “Don't worry. I called Jimmy. He'll come.”

“I don't know who this Jimmy is, but she called him an hour ago and he hasn't shown or called. She might be delusional.”

This was going to fall on him. What the hell? “Come on. Let's get you where you need to be.”

His mom slid a purse over Norah's shoulder. “Your phone is in the front pocket.”

“Thanks.”

“What about you?” Kai asked his mom.

“I'll be fine here. I'll call Jaleesa to stop by.” She snapped her fingers. “Take care of that girl.”

Norah had made it as far as the front door and then doubled over with a moan. Her face crumpled with pain. Her fingers wrapped on the door frame in a white-knuckled grip. This was ridiculous. With the towel and bag in his fist, he scooped her up in his arms and elbowed the door open.

“Put me down. I can walk in a minute.”

“With my luck in a minute that baby will be popping out.” He carried her to the car and set her on her feet at the curb. He laid the plastic and the towel on the seat like his mom suggested and then reconsidered. “Would the backseat be better?”

“This is fine.” She turned and put her butt first on the seat and then swiveled her legs and feet in.

He closed the door carefully and then got behind the wheel. She quietly told him how to get to the hospital, which by his estimation would take a good thirty minutes. He hoped to God they made it in time. Given that it was still early in the day, he opted to hop on the expressway. Traffic moved smoothly and he coasted at an easy sixty miles an hour across the city.

Another round of pain hit Norah and he had no idea what to do, so he held out his hand. She laced her fingers with his and squeezed through the pain. For such a little thing, her hands were damn strong. When she relaxed her fingers, tears filled the rims of her eyes.

“Thank you.”

“For my hand?”

“For everything. For driving me. For letting me hold your hand. For carrying me to the car. Hell, for giving me a job.”

“That was purely selfish on my part.”

“What?”

“Hiring you. My mom makes me crazy. I'm grateful you took the job.”

She laughed quietly. Her free hand rubbed her belly. “You know if I have this baby now, we'll be revisiting our conversation from this morning.”

“Why is that?”

“Because Ella will go home with her parents. I'll be ready to move on with my life.”

“Kind of soon, isn't it?”

“Do you know how little I've enjoyed over the last six months or so? I deserve a break, some fun.”

His thumb stroked her hand where they were still connected. Part of him wished he could take the time to explore with her, to see what they could be. But he knew she was meant for something better than him. “So move on with your life. Put me behind you.”

“No.”

“No?”

“That's what I said. We're attracted to each other. Why can't we enjoy that?”

“You're about to have another's man's baby. How can you even think about starting something else?”

“At this particular moment, I really need a distraction from the pain. Beyond that, I know life is too short to dwell on your mistakes. I go after what I want.”

“Shouldn't be me.”

“We'll see.”

She seemed to be breathing better now. Like starting an argument with him somehow gave her renewed energy. He got off the expressway and jogged across the side streets to the hospital. “Any idea which lot I pull into?”

“Maybe you should go to the emergency room. I think my water just broke.” Her fingers tightened on his again and he maneuvered toward the emergency entrance. He pulled up in front of the door and extricated his hand. “Stay here. I'll get help.”

He ran through the doors and told the nurse he had a woman in labor in his car. Within minutes, Norah was in a wheelchair being pushed into the hospital. Kai ran and parked the car and returned to find Norah. They already had her in a room. He knocked on the door and she called for him to come in.

She was waddling out of the bathroom in a hospital gown. A look of shock came over her face. “You're here?”

“Did you think I'd leave you alone?”

She lifted a shoulder. “This isn't your problem.”

“I know I said I'm an asshole, and I am, but I wouldn't leave you alone.” He reached for her arm to help her climb into bed. She did her best to hold the edges of the gown to retain her modesty. He didn't have the heart to tell her there was nothing she could do.

As soon as she lay back on the mattress, she curled up in pain again. He stood, paralyzed, not knowing what to do for her. A nurse came in and started hooking Norah up to a machine. She talked quietly in a soothing tone that, judging by the scowl on Norah's face, did nothing for her.

“When do I get some drugs here?”

“I can put a call in to your doctor and see what she says.”

“She better say you should give me the epidural.”

The nurse smiled and patted Norah's leg. Then she took Norah's arm and readied an IV. Norah's free hand flung out toward Kai, reaching. He held it and she squeezed as the needle went in. Then another contraction hit, so she didn't let go.

He didn't want to think about why that didn't bother him.

The nurse left and he sat, holding Norah's hand and staring at her.

“God, don't look at me. I'm probably a mess.”

“You look fine. You want the TV on or something?”

She shook her head. “Just talk to me.”

Like he was good at that. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Tell me about work.”

“What about it?”

“Tell me about the craziest tattoo you've ever done.”

He pulled a chair close to the bed and sat. Leaning his elbow on the edge of the mattress, he thought back over the hundreds of tattoos he'd done. There were some that stood out more than others, of course, but crazy? He tried to steer clear of those. Then he thought of one.

“The first month I opened, I was desperate for clients. I handed out business cards and posted flyers everywhere. I spent so much time doodling and praying for someone to come in. Then one day, this guy comes through the door holding my flyer. He says he's got a proposition for me. If I do a tattoo that he wants for free, I can do another of my business card on his body. He'd be a walking billboard.”

“No way.”

Kai nodded. “I figured the guy wasn't right in the head, so I told him no. But, I really needed the money. The guy swore he could drum up business. The next day, he comes in with like ten friends. They all wanted tattoos. I figured there had to be a catch.”

“So what was it?”

Kai shook his head. “I still haven't figured it out. They all paid for tattoos. Needless to say, I did that guy's for free. He's still a client.”

“Did you do your business card on him?”

“No. We compromised and I signed him.”

Norah laughed. “You mean there's some guy walking around Chicago with your autograph on his body?”

“Yep.”

“Why would someone want that? It's not like you're famous or anything.”

Kai shrugged again. “Beats me.”

The door behind him flung open. “Norah.”

Norah shifted to see around him. “Hey, Jimmy.”

“Oh God. I'm so sorry. I was in a meeting and didn't pay attention to my phone. I thought we had time.” He pulled up short on his way to the bed and looked at Kai.

“Jimmy, this is Kai. Tommy's boss who hired me to help with his mom.” She barely got the words out before another contraction hit and she curled into herself without releasing Kai's hand.

By the time he got home, his fingers would probably carry bruises from her grip.

Kai rubbed her hand and up her arm. Jimmy's eyes bore into him. When the pain passed, Norah looked between the two of them.

Jimmy finally stuck his hand out. “It's nice to meet you. Thank you for getting her to the hospital.”

Although Kai shook his hand, he took the statement for what it was meant to be: Get out. Kai slid his hand from Norah's. “Good luck. I'll see you.”

“Kai,” Norah called.

He turned from where he stood with his hand on the door.

“Thank you.” She gave him a watery smile.

“No problem.” He left the room and the hospital. In the car, he called Jaleesa and his mom. Without Norah, they would need a new game plan. He didn't even know if Norah planned on coming back to work.

Part of him was relieved at the notion. He wouldn't have to control his urges around her. But more of him didn't like the thought of not seeing her anymore.

He was screwed.

* * *

Jimmy sat on the edge of the bed looking down at Ella in Norah's arms. She was the most beautiful baby Norah had ever seen. A shock of dark hair fluffed up on the top of her head and she was tiny and wrinkled. But healthy. The doctor had assured Norah that although she was a little small, Ella was healthy.

“You did good, Norah.” His finger stroked the top of Ella's head.

“She's amazing.”

“Are you having second thoughts about adoption?”

A tear squeezed out of the corner of her eye. “I'm scared, Jimmy. I love this little girl. I'm so afraid of messing her up.”

“We're here for you.”

“I know. But I also know she would have a better life with Kim and Trevor. They
want
her. They've been searching for her. They're ready for her. As much as I love her, I'm not. She's going home with Kim and Trevor.”

Jimmy wrapped his arms around her shoulders in an awkward hug. “Okay.”

His voice was thick and it about crushed her to think she moved her big, bad brother to tears. They stayed like that for a while. She took the strength she could from Jimmy's embrace.

“I've already called Teagan and Kim. They're on their way.”

“Already?”

“I don't want to take care of her. I don't want to do anything that will confuse me. I wanted to hold her to tell her I love her, but she needs to be with Kim.” Tears streamed down her face. She knew it was the right decision, but it didn't make it any less difficult.

“The guys want to come meet her.”

“Is that a good idea?” She swiped at her face. “I can't handle them telling me I should keep her.”

“They won't. I can have them visit her in the nursery. Would that be easier for you?”

Norah nodded. A knock sounded at the door and Teagan poked her head in.

“Can we come in?”

“Yeah.”

Teagan came in and Kim and Trevor followed.

Jimmy stood and stepped away from the bed. “You want me to stay or go?”

“You can go.”

He nodded and left.

Kim and Trevor hovered by the door.

“Come on in and meet your daughter.” She waved to them with her free hand.

They stepped forward together, Trevor's arm on Kim's shoulder. Kim's eyes filled.

“Do you want to hold her?”

Kim nodded and stretched her arms out. Handing Ella over to Kim was easier than Norah thought it would be. Love filled Kim's face and even Trevor looked teary. Her own tears started to fall again. For as right as it was, Norah's arms felt extraordinarily empty.

“After this, they're going to keep her in the nursery until she's ready to go home, so you can visit her there. I just wanted to say good-bye to her.”

Kim passed Ella to Trevor and wrapped Norah in a tight hug. “I can never thank you enough for this. She is the most precious gift.”

They stayed and talked and Norah told them about her labor, so Kim would have stories to tell Ella as she got older. Their tears stopped and the conversation was a relaxed one between friends, but Norah was exhausted and the baby started to fuss.

“She's probably hungry,” Norah said.

“You're sure you don't want to . . .” Kim asked.

“She's all yours.” Norah called for the nurse so she could take Trevor and Kim to the nursery to feed and change Ella. Teagan sat on the bed next to Norah.

“Want to talk?”

“Not really. I think I just want a nap.”

“Okay. I'll hang out for a while. Is there anything you need?”

“No.”

“Don't keep it bottled up, Norah. I'm here for you.”

“I know. And I'm really okay. For now.” She tugged the blanket up over her freezing arms and shifted on the bed to find a comfortable spot.

She pulled out her phone and called Avery.

“Hi, Norah.”