Under Your Skin (16 page)

“I like that she cares about you. That's all.”

“You keep telling yourself that.”

He pushed up off the chair, suddenly feeling exhausted. “Fine. She can stay, but when she has the baby, I have to hire someone else. You're not ready to be alone all day or for going back to Jaleesa's.”

“You need to apologize to her.”

“I did nothing wrong.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

He flicked off the light and left the room. If she didn't get well soon, he might not survive this. He probably did owe Norah an apology, but he wasn't sure for what. He'd been an ass to her, sure, but she had that coming. He'd almost kissed her again, and in his mind, that was the greater offense.

There was no sign of her in the kitchen and when he checked the living room, her bag was gone.

* * *

Norah drove home in silence, dread filling her. She needed this job. Not just because of the money, although that played a huge role. She liked spending time with Lani and having Kai's house as a place of peace. If he fired her, she wouldn't be able to find anything for probably a couple of months. She parked and rested her forehead against the steering wheel.

This day had to qualify as one of the worst ever. Maybe if she asked Kai really nicely tomorrow, he wouldn't fire her. The car was getting colder, so she opened the door and dragged herself to the house. Then she realized she was still wearing Kai's sweatshirt. It was comfy and smelled like him. She wondered if he'd miss it.

She rolled her eyes at herself. Of course he would notice it missing. The guy noticed everything. Truth be told, it was a little unnerving. He was like Jimmy that way.

After changing for bed, she plugged her phone into the charger and at the same time it buzzed with power, a text came through. From Kai.

 

 

The simple text made her laugh before she responded.
I grew up with 4 brothers. I don't think you know what yelling is.

She lay in bed and waited for him to say something. When nothing came back, she thought that was all she'd get. But she craved more, so she called.

“Hello.” His voice was deep and craggy and she imagined him in bed, his hair loose, his long limbs spread everywhere.

“I'm sorry I invited people over without checking with you first. I wanted to do something nice for your mom.”

“I know. I was an asshole.”

“Why? It couldn't just be that you had a house full of old ladies.”

He was silent for so long, she thought he wouldn't answer. “You make me crazy.”

“I don't mean to. Tell me what it is and I'll try to stop.” She heard rustling on the line and pictured him sitting up, throwing the blankets off.

His quiet chuckle vibrated across the line and through her, doing delicious things to her body. “You can't. It's just you. Who you are.”

The words came like a slap. Had she turned into the epitome of the annoying little sister? She had no other role to play? Then she remembered the way he'd kissed her, the look in his eye when he'd stood surrounding her in the kitchen tonight. “What do you want?” she asked softly.

“That's the problem, Norah. You make me want. And I don't like that.”

What she'd thought had been one of the worst days of her life had just turned on its head. His words filled her with a surge of emotions, none of which could she name. “I don't know what to say.”

“There's nothing to say.” He paused. “What about your boyfriend?”

She jerked back from her phone. “You mean Avery? We were a brief thing. It's been over.”

“But he came for you.”

“For the baby. Not me.”

Kai sighed and mumbled something that sounded like “Stupid.”

“If it helps, I feel the same,” she admitted. If he could put it out there, the least she could do was not make him feel alone.

“That doesn't help a damn bit.”

“I'd apologize, but it would be a lie and you've made it clear how you feel about lies.”

“You're killing me, you know that, right?”

“It's been a long time since someone made me feel like this.”

“I'm sure I'll regret asking, feel like what?”

So many things: sexy, wanted, hot—even in her whale-like state. But she settled for “Special.”

“Having this conversation is stupid. It'll cause trouble. You have to know that.”

Of course she knew. She was pregnant and the only reason she was in his life was because of his mom. But she wanted to hold on to the fantasy for a little while. In the quiet dark of her bedroom, none of that mattered. “I know. Right now I don't care.”

“You need to care, Norah. I'm not the kind of guy you belong with. I'd only end up hurting you.”

“You wouldn't be the first and sometimes the hurt is worth it.”

“I don't think it is.”

“I guess we'll have to see then.” She smiled because Kai liked her. Maybe he didn't like the fact he was attracted to her, but it was enough that he admitted it. “Good night, Kai. I'll see you tomorrow.”

She disconnected and rolled to her side, putting a pillow between her knees for comfort. She'd always known she came from a messed up family, but she really took the cake. She just spent the night flirting with her boss who was also her brother's boss while pregnant with another man's baby that she wasn't keeping. It had daytime TV written all over it. But like she'd said to Kai, she didn't care. It felt good to be wanted. It made her feel normal and she'd been missing that.

Only a few more weeks and she could start getting back to normal. What was the harm in enjoying time with Kai until he no longer needed her to take care of his mom? It wasn't like it could go too far. She was pregnant, and even after having the baby, it would be weeks before she could have sex and probably even longer until she felt good enough to want to. When it was time to move on, they both would. They could just take it for what it could be: a good time.

* * *

Over the course of the next week, Norah met with Teagan and spoke with Kim and Trevor. She'd decided they were the best match for her. Her appointments with the doctor seemed to come faster and faster even though they were only a week apart. Life had become a pleasant routine albeit a bit physically difficult. Where Lani was gaining strength and speed in their walks, Norah was slowing down. Lani hadn't sped by yet, but Norah had no doubt it might happen soon.

On the first of their daily walks, Norah's head was filled with the e-mail she'd received from Avery. He'd gotten the paperwork and said he'd sign and return it.

Overall, the e-mail was friendly. Little more than businesslike. She had a hard time remembering what she liked so much about Avery. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she'd been in love with the idea of her and Avery, not the man himself. Not too surprising, since she'd been in love more times than she could count since she'd discovered boys at the age of twelve.

“You're awful quiet today,” Lani commented.

“Lot on my mind.”

“When are you due?”

“Couple more weeks. Although the doctor said since this is my first, don't count on being on time. She said she'll induce after two weeks.” She inhaled as deeply as the baby would allow, which wasn't much. “Seems like a long way off.”

“It'll happen sooner than you think. You spend those last weeks praying to get that thing out of you and when it's ready, you're not anymore.” She chuckled.

Norah didn't like the sound of that any more than she liked the idea of waiting another month.

“What about after?”

“What about it?”

“Do you have plans?”

Norah shrugged. “Not really.”

“Then you'll come back here.”

“Well, uh . . .” She didn't know what to say. Kai hadn't mentioned how long this job would last, but he'd made it clear he'd hired her because no one else would. “Kai hasn't said—”

“Pssh. We already discussed how little that boy says.”

Something about the way she always referred to Kai as a boy made Norah smile.

“My therapist will stop coming here within the next couple of weeks. Then I'm supposed to make it to them. I'll probably be here for at least another month.”

“Well, Lani, we'll see.” She patted the woman's arm. As much as she liked the job and enjoyed the pay, she couldn't assume Kai didn't have plans to replace her when she had the baby. She didn't know how much recovery time she'd need.

After their walk and lunch, they played a game of gin rummy where Lani stomped her. Norah was grateful they didn't play for cash. The woman had no mercy on the pregnant girl. Then Lani settled on the couch with her latest novel, which meant she'd be napping soon.

Norah checked the time and hoped Kim was done with teaching for the day as she dialed the number.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Kim? It's Norah O'Malley. Teagan gave me your number and said it was okay to call.”

“It's definitely okay. I'm glad you called.”

“I wanted to let you know that I received an e-mail from the baby's father and he'll sign off on everything, so we're okay.”

“Excellent. How are you?”

“I'm okay. The baby is kicking up a storm and pressing on things that don't feel like they should be squooshed, but my doctor assures me it's all normal.”

“And how are you after getting the e-mail?”

It was kind of her to ask, but Norah should've expected it. Kim had been so kind and generous every time they spoke. “I'm okay, really. Thanks for asking.” She paused, suddenly unsure if she wanted to continue.

“Was there something else you wanted to talk about?”

“Yeah, actually. You know I'm due in two weeks.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

Norah heard the restrained excitement in her voice. She wondered how many times Kim and Trevor had been this close to having a baby and had someone change her mind. She wished she could offer some kind of reassurance.

“Well, although I can't sign the papers and make everything official for three days after she's born, Teagan said I can decide who she goes home with. I'd like that to be you.”

“Uh. Could you hold on a minute?” Kim sounded near tears. “I'm putting you on speaker. Trevor just walked in.”

“Hi, Trevor.”

“Hi,” he answered. “What's up?”

“I was talking to Kim about naming you guys as the people who would take the baby home. I don't want to take her home with me and I really don't want her in a foster home for three days. That's not fair to her. She belongs with people who love her.”

“Are you sure?” Kim asked.

“I get it. I do. You're worried that I'll tell you to take her and you'll fall in love with her and then I'll want her back. I won't. I'm not lying to myself and acting like it's not a big deal, but I'm okay with this decision. I can't bring her home with me.”

“Yes,” Trevor said, his voice clear as if he'd moved closer to the phone. “Of course we'll take her.”

“You can think about it. We have a couple of weeks at least.” She took a deep breath. “There's one more thing. In the hospital, they're going to ask me to fill out the birth certificate. It seems stupid for me to name your baby. Then you'd have to file paperwork to change it. If you tell me what name you want, I'll write it in.”

Kim came back on the line. “Her name isn't important. If you have something you like, we'd be okay with that.”

“So if I named her Butterfly, you'd be okay?”

Silence met her joke.

“I was kidding, guys.”

Nervous laughter followed. Norah rolled her eyes. “Really. I don't have any special names.” She'd never sat around as a teen picturing her wedding and naming imaginary babies.

“What do you think about Ella?” Kim asked quietly, her words just above a whisper.

“I take it the name is special to you?”

“It was my grandma's name and we were close. I think it's pretty and timeless.”

Norah admitted the name was pretty. “Ella it is then.”

They said their good-byes. As crummy as her life was, she at least brought happiness to Kim and Trevor over something as simple as a name. It made her feel good.

* * *

More days passed and Norah was increasingly frustrated with Kai. He had yet to address their late-night phone call. She hadn't brought it up because she figured he needed time to think things through. He always measured his words carefully, but he was making her crazy. He barely spoke a few measly sentences since his revelation.

She arrived at his house early, hoping to catch him lifting weights in the basement or at least before he ran out the door. As she walked into the living room, he came from around the corner, thankfully dressed, but his hair hung loose at his collar, still damp from the shower. God, how she wanted to touch it.

“You're early.”

“Yeah. I was hoping we could talk.”

“Shoot.”

She glanced around for Lani, but didn't see her. “Alone?”

He stiffened at the word. Was she really that bad?

One sharp nod and then he grabbed his keys and pointed toward the front door. He obviously didn't want Lani to hear anything. She followed him outside.

At the bottom of the steps, he turned to look at her, but said nothing.

“We need to talk about that phone conversation. About us. This.” She waved a hand between them.