Undone (20 page)

Long, forceful strokes brought him divinel
y deeper as he gripped her hips and did it again. There was a blazing passion in her espresso eyes but beneath that Roan saw the implicit trust she put in him and he claimed her pliant lips. The kiss was a possession that she did not mind submitting to. She yielded beneath the onslaught and he growled in satisfaction. She moved so beautifully beneath him, her breathy sounds the tempo he fucked her to. She held him so tightly, delicate female flesh to his hard virility, Roan wanted to possess everything about her. “I’m going to keep you, Sophie.” The words prompted her orgasm and her hot, melting liquid around him incited Roan to pull out just in the nick of time, spilling his release on her lower abdomen.

Ellie’s growing concern of her oldest daughter was all that consumed her these days. There was something wrong with Sophie. After what happened with Julian
, she and Nicholas had tried to put things back to normal with their family and Ellie had believed that they’d been doing well. They’d even manage to give Sophie some space to readjust back in school and Ellie had even gone so far as to ask Nicholas to pull back the security detail for a while so that Sophie could go about her daily life without any interference from them. They’d believed that the more time they gave her, the sooner she’d come around and talk to them when she was ready. But Sophie hadn’t come around; in fact, she’d distanced herself from them completely. It was rare for her to answer Ellie’s phone calls these days and when she did she was quick in rushing off, making an excuse about having homework. It was all a lie. Nicholas had told her everything, but what had stuck out mostly was her involvement with Roan Westport. Ellie had been shocked at first, not having heard that name for years now. When she’d broken her engagement with Devlin, she’d put him and everything that had come with it behind her, including Devlin’s son. The breakup had been horrible, so Ellie had never expected to see either father or son again.

But now Roan was here, involved with Sophie and Ellie understood Nicholas’s apprehension. His reappearance did, after all, coincide with what had happened with Julian. It was enough to make one wonder. But then Ellie remembered Roan when he’d been younger. In the four years that she’d dated his father, Ellie couldn’t remember Roan doing anything mean spirited. He’d been a quiet boy, sweet and always ready to help in any way he could. He and Sophie had never gotten along, but Ellie had always suspected it was because he liked her. Roan had been devastated with the way things had turned out with her and his father, but she was sure that he would never try to hurt them in any way. His reappearance was simply coincidental, although convincing Nicholas of that was an act of God. He was sure there was a connection there and he was determined to pursue it, regardless of Ellie’s reservations.

They’d had several arguments on this since he’d told her, neither one willing to budge, they were at an impasse. What they did agree on was their mutual concern for Sophie. This was the reason why Ellie was here now, seated on Sophie’s bed,  silently waiting for her to be done with her shower. She’d come home only because Bella had called her this afternoon to go prom dress shopping and Ellie had gone with them. Through it all, Sophie had acted happy, laughing and joking like there’d been nothing wrong. The forced cheeriness had been for Bella’s sake, not wanting to alarm her younger sister to anything. Sophie had always been protective of her younger siblings. But Ellie had seen through the mask. She’d finally been able to glean a little bit of what Sophie hid so well from them.

The opening of the bathroom door had Ellie swinging her head to the right
. Sophie emerged from the mist in nothing but a towel and wet hair. Ellie heard her gasp, her onyx eyes widening because she hadn’t expected to see her. Before she could even scramble to find her robe, Ellie saw the cuts on her arms. Having her suspicions confirmed nearly bowled Ellie over. Silently, she rose to her feet, her hazel eyes misting she approached her daughter.

“Mom…,” she whispered anxiously when Ellie took hold of her arms. Déjà vu of when Roan had first seen her wounds flashed across Sophie’s mind in that instant. The same horror that had painted his features was mirrored back on her mom’s face, the tears in her eyes too much for Sophie to bear. “Mom,
it’s okay…”

“Stop it,” she whispered harshly, “just stop…Sophie…” There were no words. Ellie choked on her tears. How could she have missed this? How had she been so blind as to not see how badly it’d gotten? “Why didn’t you tell me? God, Sophie, I’m so sorry, baby.” Ellie pulled her daughter into her arms, the embrace nearly breaking an emaciated Sophie.

Sophie couldn’t speak, standing stock still as her mom embraced her. She tried so hard not to crack. She didn’t want to break down, told herself to keep it together. She had to be strong, had to show her mom that everything was alright. But as the seconds ticked by and her mom’s embrace only grew tighter, her sorrow echoing Sophie’s own made it so hard for her to remain detached. It felt like there was not enough air to fill her lungs; Sophie fought to breathe around the constriction in her throat.

The tears that came were silent ones as her arms wound around her mother’s waist retuning the embrace and holding her for all she was worth. “I can feel your sadness in my bones, Sophie.” That was Sophie’s undoing and moments later her body was wracked with sobs, her cries coming from deep within her soul. They went to the floor, but her
mom’s hold did not slacken. She brought Sophie’s head to her chest and allowed her the tears. She rocked her, soothingly petted her hair as she silently cried with her daughter. “You try to take on the world, try to be brave, but you’ve been hurting inside.”

"My heart hurts,
Mom,
all
the time,” she finally confessed, brokenly, tearfully. She unloaded her feelings of unworthiness, of being unwanted, of feeling so completely dead inside that she hurt herself just to feel something real. She spoke of the constant jealousy, the envy she felt towards her siblings and their relationship with their father, who doted and loved them more than life itself. Sophie told her mother of the mental damage Tony’s kidnapping had done to her. She’d never shared this much, never went in-depth of the true torture she’d endured, the devastation in realizing that her own father, her own flesh and blood had never loved her. What had been so wrong with her that he couldn’t love her like a father should? Love her as deeply and profoundly as Nicholas loved his children. Nicholas had been a tormented soul but the very instant he’d seen his children he’d done all in his power to be around them. But all Sophie had received from her father upon their reunion had been savage beatings and the reaffirmation that she had
Carlyle
blood coursing through her veins. 

Ellie listened as her daughter poured her soul, voice growing hoarse from the agony of digging up those thoughts and the dark memories behind them. When she spoke, Ellie thought about Tony, about the man who he’d been when she’d first met him and the mistakes they’d made. He’d been broken, even then, his obsession with drugs making it impossible for anything or anyone else to consume his life. She’d wanted him to get better, she’d wanted him to be in Sophie’s life, but things hadn’t turned out that way and Sophie had been the one to ultimately suffer through all this. Ellie couldn’t say she regretted being with Tony because that union had given her Sophie, Sophie who felt everything so deeply.

“I’m so sorry for the pain we caused you, baby,” Ellie said into the drawn out silence. “I never truly stopped to think about how all of this affected you.” Ellie pulled away to cup Sophie’s tear stained face. “You’ve managed to fool me so well with your happy mask that I never bothered to look deeper and I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am for that.” She kissed her daughter’s forehead, closing her eyes to the tears that wanted to fall. “Tony was your father and he did unspeakable things to you but you are
my
child.
I
gave birth to you,
I
raised you and it’s
my
blood that’s in your veins. You are
nothing
like Tony, not even a little bit. You are worthy of so much. You’re wanted by so many. You are loved more than you can ever understand, Sophie. Even in your darkest moments, even at your last, know that nothing and no one will ever shake my love for you. Do you understand me?”

Sophie was too overcome to speak, the profundity of her mother’s words, the conviction with which they were delivered and the overwhelming love she saw in her hazel eyes stole her ability to speak. But she felt it, felt it wash over her, seeping into her skin and absorbed by everything she was. Her mother was her everything.

~*~*~*~

Her depression didn’t magically disappear after that, but her mother’s words, love that she’d forgotten was there, made it easier to bear. Roan was another constant; his ever growing presence in her life was something Sophie was relying on more and more. He’d taken her out a few times now, casual dates that turned into long, passionate nights at his place. She’d practically moved in with him at this point, but they still had yet to define their relationship and maybe that was best for now.

“We’re here.” Sophie didn’t know where
here
was. He’d asked her if she was free this Sunday, when she’d said yes, he’d told her he wanted to take her to dinner.  She hadn’t realized dinner would be at someone else’s place. She looked beyond the passenger window at the quaint single family home nestled on the dead end street he’d parked the truck on. He came around to open the door for her, ever the gentleman, Sophie smiled as she alighted from the truck.

“That smile for me?”

“Who else would it be for?” she asked, forced to go to him when he tugged on the front of her jacket. He leaned down and she succumbed to his kiss. “Where are we, anyway?” she asked when he allowed her to breathe.

Roan slung an arm around her shoulders bringing her closer to him as he led them up the snow cleared pathway.
“My home away from home.”

“Took you long enough to get here,
Mi hijo.” Roan left Sophie’s side to greet the portly woman who beamed at him as though he wielded the sun. “Dinner was ready a while ago.” With a warm smile on her weathered face, she looked past Roan’s shoulder and peered at the girl who anxiously stood behind him. “You’ve brought a friend.” She turned back to Roan, her smile still glued to her face. “You never bring friends.”
Seeing the knowing gleam in her eyes, Roan laughed and hugged her. “No, I don’t. But she’s special,” he whispered against her plump cheek, before pulling away and leading her to Sophie. “Sophie this is Maria Drago, the woman responsible for my pudginess.” There wasn’t an ounce of fat anywhere on Roan’s lean body and Sophie could attest to that. 
With her best beaming smile, Sophie moved forward and accepted Maria’s warm hand. “It’s very nice to meet you, Mrs. Drago.”
“Ah, que linda!” she exclaimed, turning to Roan. “So pretty and so sweet. I can see why my Roan brought you. Come in, come in, I made Roan’s favorite food and you must tell me all about yourself.”

David
Drago was far more reserved than his wife, but Sophie saw the love he had whenever he spoke to Roan. They gathered in the small dining room, just the four of them with a feast meant to serve more. Maria and David were seated at the opposite end of the table, while Sophie and Roan occupied the seats on the right and the left of them. It was a sheer wonder to see Roan this way—smiling, laughing and enjoying the two older people around him. He looked at home here, the easy going banter something he’d done on several occasions now. While she watched Roan, Sophie felt David’s surreptitious glances every now and then. He didn’t make her feel uneasy, if anything he was probably curious as to the nature of her and Roan’s relationship. Well, he’d have to get in line behind Sophie, because she was also wondering the same thing too.

“So, Sophie, how do you know our Roan?”

Sophie stared owlishly, she’d known the question was forthcoming but she was caught a little of guard when the three occupants of the room turned to look at her.

“Our parents were actually engaged and Sophie here wasn’t too keen on the idea…,” Roan interjected with a grin towards Sophie, completely adept in coming to her rescue. He animatedly recounted the tale of their past, leaving out a few things, but highlighting Sophie’s hijinks. “There was this one time, I was at their house and Sophie’s younger sister, Bella, somehow convinced me to play tea party with her.  Twenty minutes into it I was wearing a floppy sun hat, had a pink feather boa around my neck and she was trying to apply lipstick to my mouth. What I didn’t know was that Sophie was recording the whole thing, the brat even took pictures! She blackmailed me for a month with
those.” Maria burst into laughter while David chuckled along with her.

“That’s my kind of girl,” said Maria, wiping the tears from her eyes and smiling at Sophie.

“She was a brat.”

“No
, Mi hijo, that’s what you call a girl with brains.”

The conversation veered off after that, the friendly atmosphere continuing long into the night. They readied to leave around nine, Maria handing Sophie two stacked Tupperware containers filled with leftovers, she hugged the younger girl tight and invited her to the next Sunday dinner.

“Thank you so much for the lovely dinner, and I’ll come back if Roan wants me to.”

“Of course he wants you
to,” she said giving Roan a pointed stare.

Roan laughed. “I wouldn’t dream of keeping her away.”

Setting a hand at the small of her back, Roan led Sophie to the car making sure she was nicely ensconced inside the passenger seat before heading back to say goodbye to David. 

“Is her last name Grayson?” Taken off guard by the inquiry, Roan frowned
, puzzled as to how David even knew that. In response, David silently handed Roan the card he’d been given. “He came by the other day asking to see you.” He watched carefully for Roan’s reaction. “Told him you weren’t there. He left me his card and said to call him when you got it.”