Undone (18 page)

“Nah, don’t be. It’s not like we’ve stopped talking; we check up on each other when we can. Last I heard, he was on sabbatical in Italy. He’s met someone, apparently, whose helping him unwind.” Roan took a sip from his mug and wistfully smiled. “He sounded happy.”

“I’m glad. He deserves to be happy. You both do.”

“You know that’s a guilt you’re going to have to let go of, Sophie.” She looked at him, shocked that he’d been able to read her so easily. “I don’t blame you for anything that happened in the past. Life happens, I’m over it, I’ve moved on. I don’t dwell on things I have no control over.” She hadn’t even realized she’d been waiting for his absolution all this time and the moment he spoke those words a weight lifted of her shoulders. Sophie found that she could breathe just a little easier.

“Why have you been so nice to me?”

Taken aback by the suddenness of the question, Roan did not know what to say, but luckily he was beginning to understand Sophie; she was everything unexpected, everything he was not. “Because being angry takes way too much energy. Besides, it’s not as hard as you try to make it seem.”

“You shouldn’t be friends with me, Roan. People tend to get hurt when they get involved with me.”

He was right there before she even knew it; he slid closer to her, taking her hand in his own to interlace their fingers. “Are you saying you’re going to hurt me?”

With their gazes locked, Sophie looked at him with those sad black eyes that made Roan want to protect her from everything. Before she could answer
, he continued, “Because, I think, you’re doing more harm to yourself than you are to me.” She’d left herself exposed, those violent marks on her arms on display for him to see. “Is this how you feel inside?” The tenor of his rich voice amplified his deep-seated concern.

“The kidnapping really screwed with my head,” Sophie finally said, her voice subdued. She watched his head bow as he tenderly ran his fingertips over the scarred skin of her wrists, the swelling going all the way up to her elbows.

“Tell me,” he urged.

“I learned to keep things to myself, you know? Bury them so deep that even I couldn’t find those emotions. But they were always looking for me. Regardless of how hard I tried to hide them. Tony Carlyle, my biological father, was maniacal. He was evil, Roan. There was nothing good about him and when I finally met him, when I looked into his eyes, I felt like I was going to end up like him.” She kept her voice even, concentrating on the sensation of his touch on her skin to keep her grounded.

“After they rescued us, the memories of him—his face, his voice, his eyes—everything haunted me for months. The nightmares were the worse. They felt so real, like I was reliving the kidnapping each and every time. I thought I was going crazy. So I started cutting.” The impression of the blade burning across her skin as she made those first cuts was forever imprinted on Sophie’s brain. Even now she could still feel it. There’d been desperation back then and that desperation had returned with a vengeance since the incident with Julian. The helplessness, the deep aching sadness that would not, could not be eased. But more than anything, Sophie had felt so alone, her self-imposed isolation threatening to eat her alive.

Startled, Sophie jumped at the feel of a hand on her cheek, not realizing that she’d been crying until that hand tenderly caressed her tears away. She leaned into the touch and tentatively met Roan’s gaze. His black eyes, like polished obsidian searched her, pierced her, peered beyond the surface and found
Sophie
. The lost little girl that was hidden away behind impenetrable walls.

Her heart thudded, she bit her lip, vulnerable to the core now. Fully exposed to this man, Sophie allowed herself to be seen.

“I…” God it was unnerving. Roan scared her. In such a short a time he was capable of doing what so many had failed in doing—making Sophie feel something real. “You’re dangerous, Roan,” Sophie admitted softly, forcing herself to pull away from him. She drew in a ragged breath, taking Roan’s strength with her.

“I could say the same for you,” Roan replied, his unerring gaze raking over Sophie like fingers on glass. “You bring out the protector in me.”

Unable to respond to such candidness, Sophie swept a hand through her hair and continued. Hoping Roan understood.  “I didn’t tell my parents. I didn’t want to ruin their reunion. They finally had each other. We were finally a family. I couldn’t ruin that with everything that was going on with me. On the outside, I was happy; I wanted them to see that I wasn’t like Tony. I worked myself to the bone in school—straight A’s, AP classes, valedictorian. But I was breaking down inside, falling apart faster than I could put myself together.

I bottled up a lot. Even with a psychiatrist, I’ve never told him my darkest secrets. I kept those to myself…in here,” she touched a hand to her chest, “where no one could see. Not even my mom. But one day, sitting in class, I just cracked. I started crying, unprovoked in my third period class I just sat there and cried. Everyone already thought I was weird enough, seeing me breakdown like that just put the final nail in the coffin.” Sophie sighed. “After that day I told myself never again. But after Andrew…I guess his betrayal just brought up all those ugly emotions again. It’s like falling for him just fortified the fact that I’m my father’s daughter, bringing nothing but pain and sadness to my loved ones.”

“I may not know a lot of things, but I know that you are nothing like your father.” He pulled away from her to cup her tear stained face within his hands, urging her to meet his gaze so that she could see the conviction of his words. “We do not inherit our fathers’ mistakes; you cannot take on his burdens and make them your own. He hurt you more than anyone can know and that pain may never go away, but you have to know that you are
nothing
like him. You are everything good and sweet and beautiful to me. If nothing else, take that away from our friendship, Sophie.” The conviction of his voice, the sincerity of his piercing gaze was Sophie’s undoing. In that moment, nothing could’ve possibly stopped her from claiming Roan’s lips.

The desperation was inexplicable, but all the same, Sophie hungered for the kiss like a starving woman and when she finally received it, Roan’s mouth yielding to her urgent tongue, Sophie took from him all she could. There was nothing gentle in the way she kissed him. It was scraping teeth and twisting tongues, hot wet lips and panting breaths coalescing into an energy that threatened to burn them both.

Roan nipped at Sophie’s lips, slipped his tongue over her bottom lip and savored the sigh that followed. Sophie’s response was to arch against him, the noises at the back of her throat, whimpers and moans had Roan’s cock straining painfully in his pants. He knew he had to stop. But logic took a back seat when Sophie reached for him, clutched at him like Roan was her lifeline. The sensuous dance of her tongue seduced Roan into a thrall as it claimed his mouth, finding and exploiting every sensitive corner like she understood the mechanics of a great sex.

She was a frenzy of motion, her hands working fast to remove Roan’s sweater, then his shirt. When Roan was exposed to her, Sophie coasted her hands down his chest, her warm mouth replacing her fingers in their exploration. She kissed a path down the expanse of Roan’s chest, over the rise and falls of his abdomen and when she was on her knees, reaching for the white drawstring of Roan’s sweats, sanity finally smacked Roan back to reality.

“No…Sophie, stop.” He captured her slender hands within his grasp before they could go any further and held them tightly. Bewitching eyes, black like his, stared up at him, the confusion there had Roan closing his own eyes for a second. Drawing in a shuddering breath he released it before opening his eyes again.

“Roan, what? What’s wrong?”

“I…we can’t do this, Sophie.” Saying the words had his body rebelling, calling Roan ten types of fool for refusing such a tempting offer. But he needed to think with the head above his shoulders rather than the one throbbing achingly in his sweats.  Roan tugged Sophie to her feet. He brought her hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “You are temptation personified, you know that?”

“So why ‘no’?”

“You
know
why. It’s way too soon for this. You have no idea the things I want to do to you, but I can’t allow lust to rule my judgment. You’re way to vulnerable right now and I won’t take advantage of you like that. I won’t allow my dick to jeopardize what we have here…what we
could
have. I wasn’t bullshitting you when I said you bring out the protector in me.” He pulled Sophie close and brushed a kiss across her forehead. “You’re mine to protect now, Sophie. Even if it’s from myself.”

Sophie went into his arms, burying her face against his chest. She sighed and sagged when he held her to him, his embrace everything she needed in that moment. “You suck,” she grumbled. “You’re too much of a good guy, Roan.”

His chuckle vibrated in his chest making Sophie happy to hear the sound. “I guess I’ll take that as a compliment.” She liked the way he kissed the top of her head. Sophie liked the way it felt being in his arms, in his clothes, his scent all around her, in his apartment where she could find momentary solitude. Roan made the emptiness bearable.

David
Drago grabbed a blue rag on his way to the backroom, he’d just been told by one of his mechanics that someone was looking for him. David figured it was probably another customer inquiring about the turn-around rate of their car. They were getting a lot of that these days, but, then again, he couldn’t really complain. For being smack dab in the middle of winter, David’s Auto Repair shop was doing good business. Sure they were shorthanded now, what with one of their mechanics out on paternity leave and the other sick with pneumonia, there was only three of them working on a surplus of cars.

The kid, Roan, was a big help, staying the extra hours to help David in any way he could. David didn’t know how he could’ve gotten through the last year without that kid. He entered the backroom/customer service area and stopped short at the sight of the well-groomed man standing no more than a few feet from him. He sure as hell didn’t look like David’s typical clientele. There was nothing about his pristine designer duds that indicated anything other than wealth. He didn’t even look like the sort who drove his own car to the garage to get it fixed. He looked like he had people for that. So David couldn’t understand what this guy was doing here. When he stepped forward offering a hand and a small smile, David wiped his greasy hands on the rag before reaching out to shake the offered hand.

“Nicholas Grayson.” On the upswing he gave a cursory glance around the small room. “Nice place you got here.”

“David Drago and thanks for saying so, but I’m sure that isn’t the reason why you are here, Mr. Grayson.”

If he was at all taken aback by David’s candor, he did not show it but rather slipped his hands inside the pocket of his tailored slacks and gave a wry grin. “No it isn’t. I was actually looking for Roan Westport...I was told he worked here.”

David frowned. “What’s he done?”

David’s frown deepened as he wondered what sort of trouble the kid could be in.

David had known Roan for the better part of three years now and since then the twenty
-three year old hadn’t done anything to make David suspicious of him. He’d come into his shop one summer three years ago looking for work and David had given it to him because he’d been in need of the extra hand. David hadn’t paid him anything, but he’d taught the kid a shit load more than he could’ve ever learned in the accelerated mechanic program he’d gone to. He’d been a fast learner, quick with his hands, and despite all the shit David and the crew gave him, he’d been willing to help each one of them out when they’d needed him most.

Maria Drago had instantly liked him when she’d met him and, in David’s opinion, his wife had always been a great judge of character. So she’d made it her mission to invite him over almost every Sunday night for dinner because she’d said he’d been way too scrawny for her taste. The kid had humored her for a good month before officially becoming a staple at their dining room table. Roan Westport was good people. He was a hard worker and was a good man who David not only respected, but felt a protective of. Roan reminded him of his own kid who was on tour with the U.S. Army overseas. David figured, in Alex’s absence, he could keep an eye on Roan until his own son returned.

Roan had never spoken about himself much, so David didn’t know whether he had family or was a runaway looking to lay low and start new and at this point, David didn’t really care. Roan had become a part of
his
family and family protected family.

“That’s a private matter.”

“He’s not here.”

He gave David a hard stare from his pewter eyes. “He is not in any trouble. I just want to talk to him.”

“Well, like I said, he’s not here.”

He reached into his pockets again but this time withdrew a card which he handed off to David. “When you see him again, give him this and have him call me.” It was said in a tone that was not to be denied and with a concise goodbye he was gone, leaving David to figure out what just happened and how deep in trouble Roan was in.

~*~*~*~

For what seemed like the umpteenth time in the last half hour, Sophie peered narrowly across the dinner table at her stepfather, who wore his customary poker face—his features revealing nothing of what he was thinking. She knew he was up to something. There was always intent behind everything Nicholas did. So she knew he’d asked her to dinner for a reason. She also knew he’d picked this particular restaurant for a reason. When he’d suggested dinner, Sophie had agreed because she had been led to believe that her siblings would come along. But when Dylan and Bella had made their excuses and hastily retreated, Sophie knew that their father had paid them off. Mom and Noah had been nowhere to be found. When Nicholas had lifted her arm to tuck it securely at the crook of his elbow, undeterred by her reluctant expression, Sophie had little choice but to accompany him. Now she really wished she’d made more of a protest.

Sophie knew her father; she knew he wasn’t the sort to dine in hole in the wall restaurants like Hyacinth. If dinner was all he was after, he would’ve taken her to any one of Gabe’s three restaurants on the other side of town. Little Village was for the college crowd; it was loud, dirty and tended to be on the cheap side. Everything Nicholas was not. So for him to bring her here of all places, Sophie knew he was after something…someone—Roan Westport. He never was one to leave well enough alone.

Sophie anxiously looked around the small restaurant, hoping that Roan wasn’t working tonight. She couldn’t deal with a confrontation of any sort right now and if Nicholas embarrassed her in anyway, Sophie didn’t know what she would do. Roan had been the one constant thing in her life. He was probably the only thing keeping her from drowning and she couldn’t let Nicholas take that away from her.

He skirted around the issue for a while though and Sophie failed to give him the satisfaction of any sort of reaction. He attempted small talk, asking about school and her classes. Reminded her that if she needed help of any kind, she could always come to him and her mom, and if she needed further time off to regroup, she could always tell them and they could work something out. The conversation was mostly one-sided, Sophie’s monosyllabic responses failed to give way to something more in depth.

“You know, don’t you?” she finally asked, tired of him beating around the bush.

Surprised that she’d actually said something, he met her gaze. “That depends on what you’re referring to,” he said slowly, taking a sip from his wine glass.

“I hate when you do that.” 

He raised an eyebrow, staring at her curiously. “Do what?”

“That stupid Jedi mind trick.” She sighed. “How long have you known about me and Roan?”

“I didn’t know there was a ‘you
and
Roan’, Sophie.”

“How long?”

“The very second he dropped you off at home.”

“Let me guess—you ran his license plate? Had him followed? Dig into his past?” she derided, suddenly wishing she hadn’t come here tonight. This was yet another carefully devised way for Nicholas to rip the world right from underneath her. “What did you find out? Was he married at some point? Gambling problems?”

“Sophie…”

“You know what? You guys need to let me grow up. I’m old enough to date whoever I want…”

“At the expense of your family’s safety?” That quietly worded retort was enough to make an impact and Sophie looked at him like he’d reached across the table to strike her. He knew. He’d called her out on it because he knew. He’d been able to look past the carefully crafted mask and see the monster that she’d been trying so hard to conceal, the evil whose blood she shared.

Without a word, she shot to her feet and dashed out of the restaurant. It was only fitting that the sky should open in that instant to rain down on her. Nicholas was calling her, screaming her name at the top of his lungs to come back, but Sophie didn’t stop; she ran in no particular direction, needing to get away. She hopped in the first cab she saw and murmured Roan’s address. She didn’t know if he was home or not, but went there anyway, hoping that she would find a little bit of solitude there like she always did. Once they arrived, she handed the driver more than was necessary, tip and all, before alighting from the cab. The cab drove off leaving Sophie alone in the cold rain. She stood in front of his apartment for a long while, unable to make herself move.

The rain pelted her, soaking her through the bone, but she didn’t feel it; she was far too numb to feel much of anything. She looked up at his window, way up high on the tenth floor, and saw the light. He was home. So why didn’t she go up to him? Why was she still standing here like an idiot? Sophie didn’t have an answer, but Nicholas’s words suddenly rang in her mind touching on reservations she’d had about Roan and his sudden reappearance back into her life. Had he somehow been involved with the whole Julian debacle? Was this just another ploy to get back at her family? Revenge for what had happened so long ago? Everything in Sophie screamed that it wasn’t true.

She could trust Roan. He was genuine, he wanted nothing more than to protect her, keep her safe from herself. But that niggling feeling would not let up. Uncertainty fueled the negative thoughts, telling her that she was stupid for allowing herself to be used once again as a pawn in a game that had begun when she was only a child. Her mind attacked her, cursing her naivety and the weakness in her that was so desperate for male attention that she would allow harm to come to her family just to receive it. Roan was playing her. Spinning the wheel so beautifully to conceal his real motivation. Nicholas was right. Nicholas was always right. She needed to distance herself from Roan…

Her cell rang just then and she wanted to ignore it knowing it was probably Nicholas or her mom desperate to get a hold of her. Sophie would’ve gone on to ignore it except that she didn’t have a way of getting back. She couldn’t possibly ask Roan for a ride in her current state of uncertainty. She withdrew her cell from her pocket and her heart slammed against her breastbone when she saw the name on the screen. Before she could even decide on whether or not to answer it, her phone was already at her ear.

“Hey,” he greeted softly hitting her right in the chest. “What are you doing?” He’d taken to calling her whenever he could, checking up on her in a sense, to probably make sure that she hadn’t offed herself. It was this side of Roan that battered at the walls surrounding Sophie’s heart and made her blind to anything else. “Sophie…?” Sophie closed her eyes, imagining the frown that settled between his brows, hearing the instant shot of concern that entered his voice.

“I’m taking a walk,” she answered with a sniff.

“It’s pouring out!” he blared.

“I like the rain.”

“Jesus! You have got to be the weirdest girl I know! Tell me where you are.”

“Outside your window.” She could hear him shuffling around, the sound of something falling had him cursing and then she heard the rapid descent of footsteps. When she saw him at the threshold of his apartment building, Sophie took an instinctive step forward and then another, and before she knew it, she was running to him. He caught her when her body slammed against his, held her so tight that her bones practically cracked, but she didn’t care because she held him just as tightly, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in the crook of his neck. He scooped her off her feet, keeping her close to his thumping heart and carried her inside.

“God you’re freezing!” He set her down on his bed, choosing to bring her to the bedroom since it was the warmest room in the apartment. He went to fetch a towel and hurried back to her. He was brusque in his ministrations, working quickly to dry her off. Sophie’s teeth chattered, the cold having seeped into her bones, she was shaking so hard. “We need to get you out of your clothes.” He helped her peel each item of clothing off her freezing skin, until she was in nothing but her bra and panties. The touch of his hand on her thigh sent a jolt through her, making her jerk forward. He caught her, large hands on her shoulders as he loomed above her. Sophie looked up, heart racing, pulse fluttering and a budding inferno melting her from the inside.

She tugged on the front of his shirt so that he leaned down and they were face to face. “Kiss me, Roan
,” she pleaded so sweetly, dying to feel his mouth on hers and when he acquiesced, her nerve ending screamed to life, electrified by the intensity of his kiss. He summoned a caged passion from the very depths of her soul, beckoned it to surface and demanded it take reign of her senses. Sophie was at his mercy, once again clinging to him like her life depended on it. With practiced ease, he wrapped an arm around her middle and lifted her further up the bed so that her head rested on the mounds of pillows at the headboard.