Unfamiliar (15 page)

What was even more messed up was I still wanted to get close to her despite the fact that she had a boyfriend. I mean, not in a sleazy “I wanna get in your pants” way—just in a normal, friends kind of way.

Believe me, I wasn’t that kind of guy—the kind of guy who acted all sensitive and shit just to get into a girl’s panties.

If a girl was taken then she was completely off limits. Except Hailey didn’t seem like she was taken. Not that she acted slutty or anything—she just didn’t seem very happy with her relationship. Not that it was any of my business.

So here I was sitting around in the apartment with Jonathan and Tessa, waiting for Hailey to get here so we could work on our songwriting assignment. Unless she decided to bail on me again. That would kind of suck.

And, because I had a platonic interest in Hailey and her well-being, I felt that it was only normal to ask Hailey’s best friend about the jerk she was with.

“So what’s with Hailey and the guy she’s dating?”

Tessa, who was snuggled into Jonathan’s lap on the couch, looked over at me in surprise. “What do you mean?”

I shrugged, trying to act casual about the whole thing. “I dunno, I’m just wondering what their deal is.”

I wasn’t too sure how much Tessa knew about Hailey and her boyfriend, and I didn’t want to mention that Hailey had basically had a breakdown last night. What Hailey had shared with me was intimate—it was a small glimpse that I’d been given into Hailey’s world and I didn’t want to share that with anyone just yet.

Tessa hesitated before responding, looking troubled for a moment. “I’m not too sure. All I know is they’ve been together since they were fourteen.”

Bitter resentment rose up within me, and I tried to push it away before it took over me. I already knew that, but I didn’t like hearing it again. “Huh. So they’re pretty serious?”

“Yeah, I guess. She doesn’t really talk about him much.”

As I fell silent, I noticed Tessa and Jonathan exchange a look. I knew well enough what that look meant. They thought I was asking these questions because I was into Hailey, which was completely false, by the way. I didn’t care that she had a boyfriend—I only cared because I wanted to make sure he was treating her right.

What was really weird about the whole thing was that Hailey didn’t talk much about her boyfriend. Weren’t girls all lovey-dovey and shit about the guy they were with? If she’d been with him for so many years, wouldn’t she want to brag about how long they’d been together? I knew girls who made a big deal about three-month anniversaries, so it was weird that Hailey rarely brought up her relationship.

Which brought me to my next point. Obviously she wasn’t happy with the guy she was with. That had been clear enough after last night, yet she’d gone off with him this afternoon and stood me up, which left me feeling extremely confused about where I stood with her.

I guess I didn’t stand anywhere with her. That was something I had to come to terms with before I started growing too attached to her.

There was a gentle knock on the door and I jumped up from the armchair I’d been reclining in and hurried to the door, knowing very well who I’d find standing on the other side.

When I opened up the door, the first thing I noticed was that Hailey looked very uncomfortable. She was toying with a loose thread on her sweater, looking as though she was questioning whether she should be here.

Heck, she probably
was
questioning it. Why would she want to spend any more time with me than was absolutely necessary to complete our assignment? That’s probably why she’d cancelled dinner.

“Hi, Chase.” Her tone was cautious as she regarded me with those bright green eyes of hers.

“Hey,” I said, trying to remain casual as I leaned against the doorframe. “I’m surprised you showed up considering you bailed on me earlier.”

Low blow? Yes. Obviously I was having trouble letting this go.

I did start to feel bad when Hailey’s face fell and turned pale. “Chase, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you hanging like that. It’s just-I just-things are very complicated right now. I feel like a bad person.” Her face scrunched up a little and I was suddenly filled with a fear that she would start crying again.

Not wanting to upset her, I quickly reached out and grasped her by her small shoulders. “I’m sorry, that was a complete douchebag move. I get it. Something came up; I won’t hold it against you. Let’s get some work done, okay?”

Releasing her, I stepped aside and gestured for her to come inside. Once I’d shut the door and turned to follow her, I saw that Tessa had Hailey in a hug and was jabbering away in excitement. “Are you feeling any better? You were a complete mess last night. Luckily Chase and his big arms were there to carry you to bed.”

Tessa threw a wink in my direction as I took a seat at the kitchen table and opened up my notebook. She could be so dramatic sometimes, but I could tell why Jonathan liked being around her so much. Tessa was just a huge ball of positive energy and very different to all the girls he’d dated in the past.

“I-uh-I don’t really remember much from last night,” Hailey stammered, looking increasingly uncomfortable. “But I am feeling better.”

“Of course you don’t remember much,” Tessa continued. “You were wasted!”

I cleared my throat. “Hailey, do you want to get started on this thing?”

The only reason I’d interrupted their conversation was because I could tell that Hailey was feeling awkward and embarrassed about losing control last night.

Hailey shot me a grateful look and came over to join me at the table.

Just as Tessa returned to her seat on Jonathan’s lap, she suddenly sprung up again. “Oh, Hailey! You know that piano guy you like? That William guy? He has a concert coming up soon.”

“William guy?” Jonathan straightened up and shot Tessa a curious look.

“Yeah, William something. Hailey is in love with him.”

“William C. Lancaster,” Hailey supplied, a smile creeping onto her face. “Yes, I saw the flyer posted for it on campus. I already marked the date down in my planner.”

What made me smile was the fact that she didn’t deny that she was in love with him.

Jonathan was staring around at all of us like he’d just had the most amazing sex on the planet. “William C. Lancaster, huh? Have you ever met him?”

“No, but I would love to one day. His music inspires me. He’s flawless.”

Jonathan let out a choking laugh, and I shot him a glare. “Th-that’s interesting because he’s-”

Shit. Jonathan and his big mouth were about to blow everything as usual. Before he could finish his sentence, I cut him off.

“Are you gonna go to the concert?”

“Of course!” Hailey enthused. “I’ll probably be going alone though. No one I know likes that kind of music.”

“Well, you’re in luck!” Jonathan was grinning from ear to ear. “Because that’s exactly the kind of music Chase does love.”

“Really?” Hailey didn’t seem convinced as she studied me. “I didn’t think you liked classical music since you called William a pretty boy.”

Crap. What was I supposed to say? Jonathan really knew how to back me into a tight corner.

“Hell yeah, he loves classical music!” Jonathan said. “He’s just embarrassed to admit it because we make fun of him. He also loves pretty boys.”

I tore out a page from my notebook, scrunched it up, and threw it at Jonathan’s head. That only got him laughing again.

“That’s perfect, then!” Tessa cut in. “Hailey and Chase can go together. It’s a date! I mean, a platonic date.”

At this point, Hailey looked mortified at the thought of going on a platonic date with me, and I felt like I needed to kill Jonathan. I couldn’t figure out what he and Tessa were up to, but if they were trying to set me up with Hailey, it was never going to work.

Hailey already belonged to someone else.

Hailey

“It’s kinda cloudy today,” I commented.
Awesome, Hailey, talking about the weather— real cool
.

“Yeah, but I think we’ll be fine.”

“Maybe we should go somewhere else. I don’t know, some place indoors maybe?” We were at the bridge again today. He was right; no one ever came over on this side of campus so we could work on it without any distractions.

“Stop worrying. A little rain isn’t going to hurt you, Hailey.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Did you bring your notebook?” he cut me off.

“Obviously.” I wasn’t the one who never came prepared.

“Can I see it?”

“Yeah, sure, here.”

He opened it up and read over what little progress we had made so far.

“So, are you excited about the William C. Lancaster concert?” he asked without looking up from the notebook.

“Yeah, I’m really excited actually.”

He looked up then. “You must really like classical music.”

“I know I like him. I’ve only seen him perform once, but I was completely mesmerized watching him play—I can’t wait to see him again. I missed the first part of his performance last time.”

“Why’s that?”

“Braxton was running late.” I shook my head dismissively and shrugged. “He hates that sort of thing anyway so it’ll be nice to go with someone who appreciates classical music. Though I have to admit, I never saw that coming.”

He chuckled quietly to himself.  “Well maybe there’s more to me than you think,” he said, echoing what I’d once said to him.

I noticed that at some point in our conversation we had moved closer to one another. If I moved just an inch to my left I’d practically be sitting on in his lap. I bit my lip as he leaned in closer, a heady look in his eyes. Something about the way he was looking at me made me wonder if he wanted to kiss me. And then I wondered, what would I do if he tried?

A small part of me admitted that I would probably let him.

Our faces were too close. His forehead was almost touching mine. If I moved my head any closer, our lips would touch.

Not trusting myself, I jumped to my feet. What I didn’t expect was for Chase to follow me.

“Hailey.” Chase’s voice was low as he faced me, his hand pressed into the small of my back.
I was trapped. But in a way, I liked it. Right now, I didn't want to have options. I wanted him to be the only option.

Then, out of nowhere, those gray clouds he’d told me not to worry about broke open and the rain poured down on us. In a matter of seconds we were both soaked through. He let out a hearty laugh and pointed his face up to the clouds, his arms outstretched at his sides.

When he dropped his eyes back down to me, he caught me staring. I tried to look away but I was too late. He brushed the wet hair out of my face and his hands lingered just a moment too long. My breathing hitched as I thought about what it would be like to kiss him in the rain.

“You were right,” Chase said. I must’ve looked confused because he continued, “I guess next time I’ll check the radar before suggesting we work outside.”

“Oh,” was my lame response. “Yeah. I guess I should go change.”

“Are you wanting to call it quits for the day?”

“No,” I answered quickly.

“Do you want to finish working at my place?”

“Sure.” I smiled.

We were slowly making progress--on our lyrics and our friendship--if that’s what it was. It seemed funny to me now that I’d once thought he was just some stupid tatted up freak with freakishly huge arms. And though that gigantic skeleton tattoo still freaked me out, I found myself wanting to be around him. He made me laugh and inspired me to think about things differently.

He was such a walking contradiction and I found him fascinating. I was immensely surprised when Jonathan had said that Chase loved classical music. That didn't seem to fit at all with what I knew of him so far—the tattooed lead singer of a pop punk band (or was it punk pop? Why couldn’t I ever remember?) was a closet lover of the classics? Yeah, it didn't seem likely at all, but Chase didn't deny it. There was something off about this whole thing, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

I was feeling guilty about my thoughts of kissing him. And even though we’d made plans to attend the William C. Lancaster concert together as friends--I felt like maybe it wasn’t such a great idea. I wanted to go to the concert and ideally I didn't want to have to go by myself—but going with Chase? That had disaster written all over it--I still hadn’t told Braxton of said plans which was probably a bad sign.

A part of me hoped that I was able to come up with an excuse to get out of it and then I wouldn’t have to come clean about it to Braxton at all, but at the same time, I really wanted to go watch William C. Lancaster again.

When we got to Chase’s apartment and caught Tessa and Jonathan making out—I suddenly came up with the perfect solution: I would force Tessa, by the power of Girl Code, to come with. Then it would be a group thing and not so much a platonic date.

“Sure!” she agreed immediately, and I felt a huge wave of relief. “Jonathan should come too.”

Well, bringing Jonathan along wasn’t exactly what I had in mind--now it was less like a ‘group thing’ and more like a ‘double date’. I was totally screwed.

Jonathan and Tessa retreated to his bedroom, presumably to continue their make-out session in private. I assumed we’d work on our song in the living room so I was taken by surprise when Chase led me into his bedroom. He made himself comfortable, sprawling out on the bed on his stomach.

I took a seat on the floor—as far away from him as possible to avoid any further temptation. That didn’t stop me from thinking inappropriate thoughts though.

Trust me, it was hard to concentrate with the way Chase’s wet shirt clung to those ridiculously large arms of his. Not to mention the sight of his abs, which were clearly defined through the thin, soaked fabric.

Were those things real?

“So,” Chase interrupted my thoughts. “What do you think of something like this:

There is this energy, it’s calling me

It’s making me change my mind

There’s this intensity when you’re close to me

And now we’re blurring all the lines”

Blurring all the lines.

I had to force myself to swallow before I could answer him.

“It's good.” I said as I wrote it down, not making eye contact with him. “I like it a lot, actually.”

Chase was actually really good at this sort of thing. A lot better than I was expecting him to be when we were given this assignment. He was just full of surprises.

I grabbed my guitar and began strumming the chords, quietly singing the words he’d just come up with to see if anything needed to be adjusted. It was perfect.

“You're really good at this,” I told him.

“Great artist, remember?” he teased.

“So who broke your heart then, 'great artist'?” I asked playfully, and was surprised when his expression darkened.

“You don't want to hear it, trust me.”

Actually, at this moment, there was nothing I wanted more than to hear his story—to get to the roots of this walking contradiction that sat before me.

“That doesn’t really seem fair. You know my sob story, but I still know nothing about you,” I pointed out.

There was hesitation on his face, but finally he gave a small sigh. “My ex cheated on me a few months ago . We were together for three years.”

I was completely caught off guard. I hadn’t expected Chase to be the kind of guy who would be in a long-term relationship, especially considering he’d told me I didn’t know anything about love. Maybe when he’d said that, it’d come from bitterness. There was a lot I didn’t know about him.

“I’m so sorry, Chase.” And I meant it. Obviously this was something that was difficult for him to talk about.

He shrugged. “I’m over it now. I’m better off without her anyway. We fought a lot over stupid shit.”

I wanted to tell Chase that not everyone was like that. I wanted to tell him that he was a great guy. I wanted to tell him how amazing he was.

But before I could tell him any of those things, my phone buzzed in my pocket.

“It's Braxton,” I muttered, mostly to myself. It was a little early for his regular good-night call. “Hello?” I answered on the next ring.

“Hailey.” Braxton’s voice broke as he said my name.

“What's wrong?”

“It's Mom. She--.” His voice was rough and I heard his breath catch. I could tell that he had been crying and that he was trying to stop.

“Hold on a second, Braxton, I can barely hear you.” I looked over at Chase and mouthed the words, “I'll be right back.”

Then I quietly left the room so I could listen to my boyfriend's breakdown in private.

“What's going on?” I asked him once I was outside the apartment.

“She wants us to start planning her funeral,” he said quietly. “And I just-can you just come here?”

“Right now?”

“Yes.”

“It's a little late and I have class tomorrow.”

“Please, Hay?”

“Braxton—how am I supposed to get there? No car, remember?”

“Just, please. I need you. I can’t do this alone.”

“Fine, okay.” I told him as my mind worked out a solution. I didn’t want to do this, but if Braxton needed me, I had no choice. “I'll see if I can borrow Tessa's car.”

I hung up with Braxton and took a deep breath. This was not something that I wanted to deal with right now. I loved Mrs. Douglas and my heart was breaking knowing that we didn’t have much time left with her. But Braxton had put me in a difficult position. I hated asking favors of people and I wasn’t particularly fond of driving at night. Regardless, he’d said he needed me so I had to go. I owed him that much. He’d been there for me when my mom had left and through the following years of neglect by my drunken father. He was always there for me. Now it was my turn to be there for him.

“Something wrong?” Chase asked when I came back in the room.

“Yeah, I have to go,” I answered apologetically as I grabbed my things.

Chase’s face fell and I felt really bad for leaving so suddenly after he’d opened up to me about his cheating ex. Then his expression hardened and he simply shrugged. “Yeah, cool, I’ll see you later.”

Feeling a little guilty, I walked out of Chase’s room and knocked on Jonathan's door. I heard Tessa giggling and after a scuffling noise, like someone scrambling to get on their pants, Jonathan opened the door.

“What's up?”

“Can I talk to Tessa for a minute? In private?”

“Course.” He smiled sheepishly and left the room.

“What's going on, Hailey?” Tessa sat up.

“I have to ask a huge favor.”

I told her what was going on.

“Yeah, of course,” she said as she dug out her keys from her purse. “Here you go.”

“I’ll fill it up when I get back,” I promised.

“Hailey, it’s fine. Go.”

“Thanks,” I told her sincerely. Maybe she was right about the whole roommates-equals-best-friends-forever thing. I hugged her goodbye and left without saying anything else to Chase.

I was so grateful to Tessa for letting me borrow her car. I wanted to race to Southlake, but I figured getting a speeding ticket in someone else's car was probably not the smartest idea so I managed to maintain the speed limit. I finally pulled into the familiar driveway around 10pm. The surrounding neighborhood was quiet but the lights were still on in the Douglas house.

I didn't bother knocking on the front door. I assumed they knew I was on my way after Braxton's frantic phone call.

I heard the faint mumbling of voices in the back room so I headed toward them. Mrs. Douglas was on the hospital bed that had been brought in for her, looking much worse than I'd ever seen her. The stench of vomit hung in the air mixed in with what smelled like straight bleach.

She was asleep, propped up with some pillows. All the furniture in the living room had been shoved to the side to make room for the hospital bed. Mr. Douglas sat stoically beside her, holding her hand. It appeared that they had been having some sort of family meeting, presumably to discuss the funeral arrangements, and she had fallen asleep in the middle of it, too exhausted to keep her eyes open any longer. Braxton and Brad were still deep in whispered conversation near them.

“Why are we even talking about this?” I heard Braxton say.

“Because she wants to, Braxton. She wants a say in what happens to her. You aren't going to deny her that, are you?”

“I’m not planning our mother's funeral while she's still breathing.”

“It's not like I want to do this. I just don't see what choice we have. We can't just keep acting like it's not going to happen. This is what she wants.”

“It's just not fair.” Braxton sat down sobbing into his hands. His mom stirred at the sound of her son crying. “I don't want to spend what little time she has left talking about flower arrangements and music.”

“Braxton!” I whispered loudly to get his attention, but at the same time not wanting to disturb Mrs. Douglas.

He looked up and I could see that his eyes were red with dried tears but his face was streaked wet with new ones. He stood up when he saw me. I think he could tell that I wasn't very happy with him. I pulled him out of the room until we were outside on the porch so we could talk without disturbing his mom.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I don't know.” He let out a frustrated sigh. “This is so much harder than I thought it would be.”

“That doesn't matter. You can't act like that.”

“Can't act like what?”

“All sobbing and 'poor pitiful me'. It's her choice. You owe her that. If she wants a say in how she's laid to rest, give it to her. No matter how hard it is for you to think about—I guarantee it's a million times harder for her. This isn't about you, Braxton.”

“I figured you of all people would understand what it's like.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“Don't you remember how sad you were when your mother left you?”

"It's not the same,” I said. Any ounce of sympathy I felt toward him vanished and I was left seething. “Your mother doesn't want to leave you! She loves you! But she doesn't have choice—she's dying." My harsh--but honest--words caused him to flinch in response but I didn't care. I continued, "My mom chose to leave me. She decided one day that she didn't love me enough to stay. Trust me. That is a million times worse. Stop being so selfish. The only thing you should be concerned about right now is making sure your mom is able to spend her remaining time here with her family however she wants to, and if she wants to start planning her own funeral—then goddamn it, let her!”

Chase

There were only a few things in the world that really got me on edge. One of the major things was understandably my parents, but I was pretty sure a lot of people were put on edge by their parents. So, parents aside, I was quickly coming to the realization that one of my other triggers was Hailey.

Which made sense, right? I mean, I’d basically disliked the girl since I’d first laid eyes on her, but now things were different. Hailey put me on edge because I felt the complete opposite about her now. Now, I kind of liked her and that freaked me out.

Yes, Hailey had a boyfriend—I got it—but they weren’t married. People broke up after years of being together. So that meant there was still a chance for me. A few weeks ago, I was singing a different tune. I’d been completely against dating anyone. It was amazing how one girl—who was pretty much the opposite of everything I stood for—could change all that.

So, as I sat here on the edge of my bed trying to focus on our assignment, I was more focused on all the things I could do to her on this bed. It was distracting having her here in my room.

As usual, she was wearing one of her distracting outfits—a low cut, white shirt which showed off her boobs paired with tight black jeans. Damn could this girl wear jeans. I wouldn’t mind if she wore jeans like that every day.