Unforgivable (14 page)

“Where did that come from?” she asked, feeling more uneasy by the second. “What are you going to do with it?”

He turned around and faced her, the gun sideways in his hand but pointed toward her. She’d never seen that hard glint in his eyes before. He walked closer, took her hand, and shoved the cold metal in it. He squeezed her fingers around it when she didn’t automatically grab hold. She remembered Silas’s words about his father making him shoot a deer by squeezing his finger on the trigger. Ben was hurting her fingers the same way.

“If Silas comes anywhere near this house, I want you to shoot him. Do you understand, Katie? He’ll be on our property, a trespasser. You’ll be within your rights.”

“I can’t shoot him,” she whispered.

“Everyone knows you were consorting with him. It’s shameful, to me and to you.”

“I’m sorry I embarrassed you, but that’s no reason to shoot a man.”

“Don’t be stupid. Shoot him because he’s a killer.” He pinched her chin. “Do not trust him, Katie.”

“I…don’t.” That much was true. Mostly, she didn’t trust herself around
him
. 

He stepped back and the gun clattered to the floor between them. He swore and picked it up. “You idiot! It’s loaded and ready to fire. It could have gone off. Come on, I’m going to teach you how to use it.”

“I don’t want to learn. I’m not going to shoot anyone.”

He pulled her out the back door. “I’m going to the Greater Atlanta Academy of Veterinary Medicine’s annual Atlanta conference. I leave tonight, remember?”

She remembered him mentioning it the week before, but had forgotten in light of everything else that had happened recently. Her squirrels tore off into the surrounding trees at their approach. After the gun went off, they’d hide for weeks. Maybe never come back. 

“I suppose I could cancel it,” he said.

“No, I don’t want you to do that. You’ve been looking forward to it for months.”

“Especially that discussion on advances in the treatment of feline viral diseases. I know how much cats mean to you.”

“Why don’t you take me with you? I wouldn’t mind seeing Atlanta again. I’ve only been that one time.”

He molded her into position with the gun in both hands. “You know we can’t close the clinic for three days. One of us needs to be around to handle emergencies.” He was even more adamant against bringing in another vet to cover their business. He was a private person and didn’t want anyone nosing around his business. “Look, I’ll just cancel. Hopefully I can get some of my registration fee back.”

“What do you want me to do?” 

Her words echoed in her mind as he showed her how to aim the gun. What
had
happened to her? She thought adults just lost their fight. Her mother was a survivor, but she wasn’t a fighter. She’d back down on any fight. Katie could try to convince Ben to take her to Atlanta, but she realized something: she didn’t want to go with him. She needed some time to think, to clear her head.

“What if there’s an animal out there?” she asked, nodding toward the woods. “Or a person?”

“If it’s a person, it’s Silas sneaking around and he deserves to be shot.”

The shot blasted through the peaceful Sunday sounds of nature. Birds scattered from nearby trees, and all Katie could hear for a few seconds was the muted aftershocks. He pointed out different targets among the trees, and she pulled the trigger. When they’d emptied the chamber, she couldn’t hear a thing.

“I didn’t think about ear plugs,” Ben repeated for the fourth time. “The gun’s for emergencies, that’s all. I’ve had it for years.”

She wondered if Silas had heard the shots. Once her hearing had returned to somewhat normal, she asked, “What did you mean by Silas sneaking around here?”

Ben settled into his chair for the rest of the day. “I didn’t want to tell you, because I didn’t want you to worry. But now I
do
want you worried. I’ve had a feeling lately of someone watching me. Last night even, after we went to bed. I walked around the house and looked outside, but of course I couldn’t see anything in the dark.”

“I didn’t hear you get up.”

“You were out, thanks to the wine. It was only a feeling, but I didn’t like it. Until the sheriff finds something to nail that bastard with, I want you to stay put, you understand? No walks in the forest. No visiting the neighbors.”

She felt a part of her resist. Maybe not the advice, which was wise, but how it was worded. An order. She wasn’t sure what he saw in her face, but he reached out to her. She stepped forward and slid her hand into his.

“Katie, I worry about you, that’s all. You’re trusting. And while that’s a wonderful thing, it can also be dangerous if you trust the wrong person.”

She nodded, feeling that bit of fight leak out of her. He was right. He was always right. “I’ll be careful. I promise.”

He smiled. “That’s my girl.”

Her own smile was weak as she pulled away. “I want you to go to Atlanta, Ben.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind canceling if it’ll make you feel better.”

“No, go. I know how much you’re looking forward to it. It sounded like the girls who got taken were out walking or hitchhiking. I sure won’t be doing that. But I’d like to talk about getting a second car again. When you go for a few days, I’m stuck out here in the woods.”

The relative calm that had settled over Ben’s face evaporated. “We’ll talk about it later. I need to think about what the Sheriff told us.”

And that would be that until she gathered up her nerve to ask again. Sometimes he brought up the money factor, upkeep on two vehicles when ninety-five percent of the time one was all they needed. And, after all, she wasn’t actually bringing in any money. She helped Ben out, that’s all. She didn’t draw a paycheck, didn’t earn a dime on her own. All their money went into the hospital’s account, and Ben took a weekly paycheck to cover their bills.

Katie returned to the kitchen where she prepared soap to clean the walls. On top of the cabinet was a tin. Standing on the counter washing the upper walls, she could see it, but not from the floor. It was the change from her expenditures over the last year. She’d been tucking it away just in case. In case of what, she didn’t know.
Cosmo
said all women should have their own money. That’s when she realized how dependant she was on Ben. She had nothing, not a dime, not a speck of credit.

Silas would like the idea of her squirreling away money.

Silas.

As she scrubbed months of grime off the top of the refrigerator, she pictured him tenderly holding her face, kissing her. Telling her she was a nine. 

Silas was a man full of shadows and secrets, but in her heart, she couldn’t believe he was a killer. Yet, hadn’t he asked her not to trust anyone, not even him?

Ben waited until late that evening before leaving for Atlanta. Katie looked pensive, but she didn’t necessarily look worried. He wanted her worried. Not terrified, of course, but worried enough to be careful—and to stay away from Silas.

When he’d gone into the bedroom where she was packing his case, he caught her looking at her reflection over the dresser. She was holding her hair up high enough to show the wine stain on her neck. She dropped her hair when she saw him standing in the doorway.

“What’cha doing?”

“I…” She glanced at the mirror, her face flushing pink. “I was just wondering what my hair would look like shoulder length. For a change.”

“Sounds like a Bertrice influence again. Besides, you wouldn’t want your birthmark to show, would you?” Her face shadowed at that remark. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He was fifteen years older than her, and looking at them in the reflection, he could see every day of it. Not that he was bad looking. She just made him look even older, because she looked so young. Short hair would make her look even younger. “I like your hair the way it is. Not up, not in a pony tail, not braided….just like this.” He ran his fingers through the soft strands.

“Don’t you get tired of it? I do.”

“Never.” He kissed her temple, then went into the bathroom. She was still looking at herself when he emerged. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay while I’m gone?”

“I’ll be fine.” She kissed him on the nose and closed up his suitcase. “You have a good time, learn a lot.”

“Okay. If you’re sure. I’ve got my beeper in case you need me for anything. Harold’s going to give you a ride to work the next few mornings and Bertrice is set to give you rides home.” 

She stilled. “Harold doesn’t have to give me a ride. I can walk through the woods and catch a ride home with Bertrice.”

Ben lowered his head. “What did we just agree on about you wandering in the woods? I don’t want to hear from Harold that you didn’t take his ride, understand?”

She reluctantly nodded. He kissed her on the mouth, much more suitable than the silly nose kiss she’d given him. “And no borrowing clothes from Bertrice. I want my wife to look like a woman, not a teenybopper.”

“I won’t,” she said on a soft sigh.

“What are you feeling, Katie? Tell me.”

“That I’m going to miss you.” She hugged him hard, and he felt the worry ease out of him. Now he could focus on the upcoming conference.

It was dark by the time he pulled out of the driveway. He settled in for the long drive. The headlights caught his attention when he turned out of town. He realized they’d been behind him for a time now. The vehicle stayed exactly three car lengths behind him, whether he sped up or slowed down. It was enough space that he couldn’t see what kind of car it was because of the glare. For twenty minutes the car followed as he wound his way to the Interstate. And then, just as Ben took the on-ramp, the car turned around and headed back toward Flatlands. 

Katie spent most of the night wondering if Ben truly did feel as though someone were watching him. Was his paranoia affecting her, or did she have the same feeling now? Relief picked up her mood when dawn opened up an overcast morning. It disappeared when Harold arrived at her door to take her to work. Only he wanted coffee.

“I’ve already washed out the pot. Sorry.” She knew she didn’t sound very sorry as she stood in the doorway.

“I thought Ben said you’d have a cup of coffee for me, for taking you into work and all.” He glanced into the house. “Have anything leftover from breakfast?”

“No.”

He was blocking her exit from the house. He weighed well over two hundred pounds, all of it muscle. He was probably near forty, and though he obviously worked out regularly, he didn’t give much attention to the rest of his appearance. His head was a brown mop of unwashed hair, his cheeks bristly with shadow. And that hideous tic pulsed at his eyelid.

“So, you all alone out here, huh?” he said, taking in the yard.

She took the opportunity to slide around him and lock the front door. “Yep.” She pushed aside food wrappers and two empty beer cans before climbing into his truck. The extended part of the cab was crammed with junk.

“Is it scary at night?”

“Not really.” 

“If I was a woman all alone out here, I’d be scared.”

“I’ve got a gun.” She rather liked the surprised look on his beefy face, even if she detested the gun itself. He didn’t need to know she probably couldn’t shoot anyone with it.

Harold scratched his head. He probably hadn’t washed his hair in a week. “I heard they think the girl from Haddock might’ve been murdered. Or kidnapped at least. Same as the one near Milledgeville. I hear tell there might even be more, though no one at the sheriff’s office is talking much. Being on the town council, I’m privy to a lot of information.” He slid his gaze to her. “What’cha think about that? Scary, someone like that living round these parts. Could even be someone we know. Wouldn’t that be something? Someone we see day in and out.” His brown eyes glittered with interest, and the tic pulsed even faster. “That would make it interesting, wouldn’t it? Too boring around here.”

The truck lurched, forcing her to grab the strap by the door. “I hope it’s no one we know.” She was thinking of Silas, of course. “Do you know if they have any suspects?”

“They’re sure looking at Silas Koole. He’s back in town, you know.” His grin widened. “Oh, that’s right. You knew that. Heard you were…what’s the word? Consorting with him.”

“I wasn’t consorting with him.” Where’d he hear that word, anyway? And where had he heard about the consorting to begin with? 

She was startled out of her ruminations by Harold’s big hand slapping down on her thigh. “Don’t worry none. We know you’d never cheat on the doc.”

She stiffened and waited for him to remove his hand. He’d averted his gaze back to the road ahead as they passed the old cemetery. What to do? She didn’t want him to think she was uneasy around him. He might play on it, and she had two more mornings to deal with him. But the heat of his hand, coupled with the inappropriateness of it being there, was unnerving.

Finally he lifted it to point out the barn just off the road. “If you get lonely during the day, come on over and visit for a spell.” The sign over the closed double doors read
One Man
’
s Trash
, and that’s basically what it was. The gray, weathered wood looked as though it would fall over in a gentle breeze. The yard was littered with the things that didn’t fit into the large building, including an old wagon, a Hearse up on blocks, and a doghouse that was in the same condition as the barn. “I know you and Ben are into that fussy stuff. He hasn’t bought anything from me in a while, though. You could come over and see what I’ve got.”

She had shifted so his hand couldn’t come back down on her thigh. She pressed against the door waiting for the hospital to come into view. “Thanks for the ride,” she said as she pushed out of the truck. Even though he honked goodbye, she didn’t look back. She’d mentioned to Ben her dislike of having Harold take her to work once before, but he said she was being silly. Harold was harmless.

Sure he was.

Harold watched her unlock the front door and close it behind her. She didn’t even look back or wave. There was gratitude for you. People thought she was a snob. They were right. Here he came out of his way to take her to work, and not a speck of thanks.