United State of Love (12 page)

‘Thanks for the advice but I am capable of looking after myself and my son. I’ve managed fine for the past year.’

Tex let go of her arm and, taking umbrage, Anna hoiked herself off the bed. He’d touched a nerve bringing into question her responsibility towards Luke. Being a good single parent had been her top priority, something she prided herself with having carried out successfully. She wasn’t about to let anyone cast doubt upon that.

Tex’s comment continued to niggle away at Anna for the rest of the afternoon, despite her endeavours to disregard it. Now, with the atmosphere between them uneasy, she kept the exchanges purely professional, only discussing Tex’s requirements for furnishing his apartment.

The king-size bed and two single beds could be delivered within the week but the sofa was on a back order of four weeks.

‘We could see about hiring a sofa and dining suite if that will help,’ suggested Anna, aware that Tex needed these items for next weekend as his sister wasn’t wasting any time in visiting.

The rest of the afternoon was spent browsing and selecting the necessary furniture from a hire store in nearby Worthing. Anna hadn’t enjoyed the starch atmosphere, or the stilted and awkward exchange of goodbyes that rounded off the day.

‘If I’m honest, I have to agree with Tex,’ said Zoe matter-of-factly as she slipped off the stool at the workbench of Nails by Natasha. ‘Mark has a responsibility to Luke and can’t just make him homeless. I really don’t know why you won’t seek legal advice.’

‘I’m still working on the alternatives,’ grumbled Anna as she admired her newly manicured nails.

This little treat was part of Anna’s plan to bring the old Zoe back to life. Zoe had protested that beautiful nails and nappies didn’t exactly go together, but Anna had been adamant and refused to let her sister-in-law off the hook.

‘I can’t see what the alternatives are, other than you and Mark getting back together, which actually isn’t an alternative at all.’ Zoe turned and raised her eyebrows at Anna, in the way that mums do when they correct their children for saying something rather silly.

‘Don’t worry, that’s definitely not an option,’ Anna remarked as she headed for the reception desk. ‘Put your purse away, Zoe, this is mine and Nathan’s treat.’

‘Really? You two are becoming quite a pair of schemers.’ Zoe smiled at her sister-in-law.

Anna carried on the conversation once they had left the nail bar. ‘I asked Mark for a divorce, but he’s not playing ball. In fact, he’s threatening to blackmail me.’

‘Blackmail! Why does that not surprise me? And how exactly is he planning to do that?’

‘By not agreeing to a divorce, making me go through the courts to get one, where he’s threatening to counterclaim and name Tex.’

‘Oh, he’s ridiculous,’ snapped Zoe. ‘What does he think this is, the 1940s? Who honestly today would really give a hoot?’

‘He could make things very difficult though.’ Anna felt too embarrassed to mention the photos – it made her cringe just to think about them.

‘What does Tex say about it all?’

‘I’ve told him I’m trying to work things out, but I just can’t think straight at the moment. Mark has totally thrown me by turning up and wanting to sell the house, and then I’ve got Tex driving me mad.’

‘Why’s that?’

‘Whenever I’m around him I just feel like I’m on the brink of losing control of my senses. It would be so easy to become involved with him, yet I know it will be asking for trouble.’

‘Get a grip of yourself,’ scolded Zoe as they reached the car. ‘You won’t be the first person to have a relationship with a work colleague. It happens all the time. You need to relax and stop worrying. You’re so stubborn at times. You and your silly self-imposed rule of not mixing business and pleasure.’

‘There’s a reason why it’s a saying,’ retorted Anna. ‘Everything is complicated enough as it is. Remember, you heard it here. I. Am. Not. Getting. Involved. With. Tex.’

Not getting involved with Tex was going to be a real test of her willpower, thought Anna as she strolled around Swanbourne Lake in Arundel with Tex and his nephew and niece. Eight-year-old Toby was running ahead, clambering up the surrounding chalky hills littered with spindly trees, their exposed roots acting as great foot and handholds. Meanwhile, little Josie was happy to hold hands with Anna and Tex as they swung her up off her feet and into the air every now and again. Tex had looked over at Anna a couple of times, and grinned at the delight of his five-year-old niece. His whole face seemed to light up with enjoyment, almost as much as Josie’s, thought Anna. He looked very relaxed, and very wantable.

Jamie had phoned and asked her to help Tex out on the Friday. Tex’s sister Gabriella and her husband were spending the day sightseeing in London, and Tex was on babysitting duties.

Anna had gone with the intention of keeping things very formal and businesslike but it really wasn’t appropriate with two young children, not to mention pretty near impossible with Tex in such a relaxed and happy mood. He was obviously pleased to be seeing his sister, who had greeted Anna warmly.

Like Tex, Gabriella was charming and friendly. Tex had already warned Anna that his sister wore a hearing aid, due to losing her hearing completely in one ear as a child, but she still liked to lip-read. As they had sat in Tex’s sparsely furnished apartment drinking coffee, Anna had given a lot of her attention to Gabriella's two young children, chatting earnestly with Toby about Power Rangers, and Josie about Barbie.

‘Thank you for coming today,’ said Tex as Josie ran ahead to join her brother at a rather large tree that, like the others, seemed to cling to the side of the hill. Anna remembered Nathan’s boys spending many a happy time clamouring around on the thick and rambling roots that looked like a heap of spaghetti which spread out at least two metres in diameter around the tree.

‘All part of the service,’ grinned Anna, laughing as Tex shook his head at what was becoming her catchphrase.

By the time they had completed a full circuit of the lake and arrived back at the kiosk, Toby was in need of the toilet. Anna and Josie waited on a wooden bench, watching the ducks and swans vying with one another to peck the birdfeed being thrown into the water by families with young children.

‘I want to climb the hill over there,’ said Josie, tugging at Anna’s arm and pointing.

Anna looked over her shoulder at the white embankment behind the kiosk. ‘It’s a bit too steep.’

‘Toby did. Why can’t I?’

‘I have a better idea, why don’t we feed the ducks instead?’ suggested Anna, hoping to distract the child. ‘Come on,’ she coaxed, taking Josie’s hand.

They stood patiently in the line waiting to be served while a family group ahead of them placed their seemingly never-ending order of ice-creams, lollipops, teas and coffees. Anna rummaged around in her bag for her purse, eventually finding it at the bottom, and checked she had enough change. As she did so, Tex came up and standing close by her side, slipped his arm around her shoulders, giving her a quick squeeze. Anna felt herself catch her breath as she breathed in the delightful citrus waft of Tex’s aftershave.

‘We were just getting some food for the ducks,’ she forced herself to say.

‘Great,’ smiled Tex as he looked around him. ‘Where is Josie?’

Anna looked down by her side where Josie had been standing just moments earlier but who now seemed to have disappeared. Anna scanned the group in front of her and the queue behind her.

‘She was here just a second ago,’ she said. ‘She can’t have gone far.’

‘She’s not here now though,’ responded Tex in alarm.

In unison, they looked towards the lake, searching for the little dark-haired child. Anna’s mouth began to dry up and she could feel a tightness encompassing her throat.

‘Oh shit,’ she murmured when she couldn’t see Josie anywhere. She looked at Tex. ‘She was right beside me.’

‘Jeez!’
exclaimed Tex. ‘How can you just lose a child?’

They broke from the queue and began hurriedly searching through the visitors. Where on earth was she? Dark thoughts began to swarm Anna’s mind – images of drowning, going out onto the road, abduction. What if she had fallen into the water unnoticed? Rushing to the edge, Anna scanned the surprisingly clear water. Nothing. She could hear the words
stay calm
in her mind, she mustn’t panic. Looking towards the exit, Anna now studied the people coming and going, checking each one to see if Josie was with them.

Nothing.

Tex, holding tightly onto Toby’s hand, was circling the area, calling out Josie’s name, and asking people if they had seen a little girl in a blue jacket with dark bobbed hair. All he got was shakes of heads.

Anna felt the panic and desperation beginning to take hold of her. She had lost a child! Tex’s niece. A little five-year-old who didn’t know where she was.

She blinked hard, this wasn’t the time to start crying and going to pieces. She had to find Josie. Her eyes met Tex’s and she could see his own panic there but she could also see anger. Anger directed her way. He marched over.

‘How can she have just disappeared? Why weren’t you watching her? Why weren’t you holding her hand?’ Agitated, he ran his hand through his hair and down over his face. ‘Damn it, Anna!’

‘I’m sorry. I just let go for a moment to get my purse out. I thought she was right by my side.’

‘Obviously not,’ he snapped.

Anna gulped. His words, his tone, his look were like a physical slap.

‘Okay, look, you wait here with Toby,’ she said, ‘in case she comes back or someone finds her. It will be you she wants. I’ll start walking back the way we came.’

‘Shouldn’t we call the police?’

‘Let me just have a quick look. I’m sure we’ll find her.’

Anna felt physically sick. She’d lost Tex’s niece just like that, in a blink of an eye. If only that family hadn’t taken so long with their order, she wouldn’t have been in the queue for so long waiting to buy bloody duck food. Josie hadn’t even really wanted to feed the ducks anyway. Oh God, this was a nightmare.

She began to jog back along the footpath, calling out Josie’s name, peering up through the bushes and trees, berating herself. She should have just let Josie climb the hill behind the kiosk then all this… The hill! Anna stopped dead in her tracks. Of course, the hill!

She raced back along the footpath, stumbling slightly as she veered off onto the uneven grass at the bottom of the hill. She called out for Josie and paused to listen for a response, then began scrambling up the chalky, muddy incline.

‘Josie! Are you there?’

She heard a faint noise.

‘Mommy, I want my mommy.’

It was coming from higher up the hill. It could only be Josie. Grabbing branches and roots, Anna clambered higher until through some overhanging greenery, she could see Josie’s pink trainer.

‘Thank God,’ gasped Anna, relief flooding through her.

If Anna thought she was going to receive a hero’s welcome, having redeemed herself by finding his niece, then she was very much mistaken.

Tex had been overwhelmed with relief as he hugged a sobbing Josie, scooping her up into his arms easily, carrying her in one arm and firmly holding hands with Toby with the other. Tex walked as quickly as Toby would allow him, back towards the town. Anna trailed behind feeling like a disgraced schoolgirl who had been sent to Coventry. Only when they reached the car park below Tex’s apartment did he turn and speak to her.

‘I can manage on my own now.’ His voice was tense, his eyes hostile.

‘I am sorry.’ She’d said it enough times, surely he had calmed down by now.

‘All you had to do was watch her for five minutes. What was so difficult?’

‘Oh Tex! I’ve told you, I only let go of her hand for a second. Everything was all right in the end and I have apologised. Lots.’

‘It is only by luck everything is okay. She could have fallen down that hill and broken her arm or leg. She could have gone into the road, been taken… Anything.’

His accusational tone igniting a defensive anger in her, Anna snapped, ‘I know. But she’s fine. Anyway, I’m not a childminder.’

‘No, but you work for Jamie who offers a PR service which includes a variety of things. You are being paid to help me and I needed help looking after the children. If you don’t like your job…’ He waved his hand dismissively, his eyes hard as he looked at her. ‘Go home, Anna. I’ll see you next week.’

He strode off into the apartment building, leaving Anna with the feeling she had been well and truly dismissed. She couldn’t believe Tex was overreacting so much after the event.

As she drove over the bridge, she pulled over to wipe the tears from her eyes. Tex was cross with her, more than cross, and that hurt. An unexpected feeling, not one of anger anymore, but one of sadness that she had upset him, she had let him down. She didn’t like it and she didn’t like the implications of her own reaction. Tex Garcia was getting under her skin, somewhere in a no man’s land of her feelings, somewhere between professional and personal. Gradually advancing towards personal, she suspected.

The weekend passed unexceptionally. Anna had half hoped Tex would ring her but she didn’t hear a word from him. Jamie had emailed her with the details of her client for Monday and hadn’t mentioned anything about Friday. Perhaps Tex hadn’t told him.

Mark had tried to coax her to come to the pub with him and Luke for Sunday lunch but Anna had declined. She was having a hard time just looking at Mark. Every time she saw him, images of those photos came flooding back.

Luke came out to the garden where she was picking at a few weeds, just really as a diversional exercise, anything to keep her away from Mark.

‘Are you staying here then?’ Luke asked, sitting himself down on the edge of the raised flowerbed.

‘I think so. The garden could do with a tidy up.’

‘Looks all right to me.’

Anna sat back on her heels and brushed her gloved hands together. ‘You go with your dad, it will be nice for you two to have some time alone.’ She regarded Luke’s raised eyebrows. ‘Unless, of course, you’d rather I came. If you don’t want to be on your own, that is.’

‘No, I’m fine, I want to go. Just thought it would be nice if we all went.’ Luke got to his feet.

‘Sorry,’ replied Anna, looking apologetically at him.

‘It’s okay, don’t worry about it.’ He bent down and kissed her on the cheek. ‘See you later.’

It had been a long day, longer than Anna had expected. Her Monday client, the German family, had wanted to be shown around Brighton and the surrounding areas to see where they would like to base themselves. A tour of where the schools were in relation to desirable residential areas had also been on the agenda, together with a visit to the seafront and walk along the pier. Nevertheless, it had been a successful day, and Anna was pleased that they had appeared genuinely grateful for her help.

Heading back home, Anna dashed into the local Tesco Express, emerging a few minutes later with a can of energy drink in one hand and a bar of chocolate in the other. Naughty but nice, she smiled to herself as she wandered up towards the station. She had twenty minutes to kill before her train got in, plenty of time to indulge herself. What first? Drink or chocolate?

‘I hope you’re not really gonna eat or drink any of that stuff.’

Anna looked up and there was Tex leaning against the side of his 4X4, his arms folded and a lazy smile on his mouth.

‘It really isn’t part of a healthy diet,’ he added.

Anna eyed him sceptically, not answering immediately. Her heart was doing that skippy thing again and her stomach suddenly didn’t feel it could take any food. She wished she could think of a clever or funny answer but her mind seemed to have frozen as well.

Tex eased himself from his resting point and walked over to her, standing well within her personal space. Slowly, he took the can and bar of chocolate from her hands and, with the accuracy of a Harlem Globetrotter, tossed them onto the flatbed of his Ford Ranger. Then he took her hands in his, holding them close to his chest.

‘I’m sorry for behaving so badly last week. I had no right to speak to you the way I did.’

Anna nodded. ‘It’s okay. I am sorry for what happened too.’

‘Shhh. Don’t. It wasn’t your fault. You were right. I was wrong.’ He smiled and led her towards the truck. ‘I’ll give you a ride. And I’ll buy you something healthy to eat.’ He nodded with distain at the can and chocolate bar.

In Arundel, he stopped the car and escorted her into the local pizza restaurant – just to check out the opposition, he told her.

Inside, Tex told her about his weekend with his sister and her family, who had now left to visit some friends in the north of England, and Anna recounted her day with the German family. An easy exchange of pleasantries which made Anna feel relaxed and happy again. When they left the restaurant and headed back to the car park where he had parked his 4X4, Anna couldn’t help noticing that Tex seemed a bit quiet, a small furrow in his brow.

‘Is everything all right?’ Anna asked.

He seemed to be struggling how to answer for a few moments, until they came to halt by the car.

‘There was something I wanted to say, about what happened at the lake the other day.’

‘Let’s just forget about it. Honestly, Tex, there’s no need to go through it all again.’ Anna stopped as Tex looked at her. There was a sadness in his eyes. Something told her this was important. Perhaps he was going to sack her. Maybe he had already complained about her to Jamie. ‘What is it?’ Why did she feel like she wasn’t going to like what he was about to say?

‘There was a reason for my overreaction at Josie going missing.’

‘I thought there probably was,’ she replied gently.

‘The ranch, back home, where I grew up. My parents have lodges that they rent out, you know, supplement their income. They’ve always done it, still do. Anyway, when I was fourteen my mom asked me to look after my sister, Gabriella, she was only three. My grandma was ill so Mom was going to visit her. It was a lovely summer’s day so I took Gabriella out towards the lake on the ranch. There’s a small play area there for the guests. She was quite happy playing on the little slide and climbing frame while I just sat on the bench watching her.’ Tex paused, looking across the car park and then back at Anna. He took a deep breath. ‘There was this family staying in one of the lodges. They had a daughter about my age, who I kinda took a shine to.’

Anna felt it was probably inappropriate to make some remark about Tex always having an eye for the girls.

‘Anyway, she was swimming in the lake,’ Tex continued, ‘so I decided to go for a swim too. You know, dive in off the jetty, impress her and all that. I was so busy showing off, I forgot all about Gabriella. It was about fifteen or twenty minutes before I remembered her. When I looked over, the play area was empty. She had wandered off.’

‘Oh Tex,’ sighed Anna. She took his hands into hers. ‘Is that why you were so upset the other day?’

Tex squeezed her hand. ‘That’s not all,’ he said, his voice quavering slightly, shame in his eyes. ‘Eventually we found her in the woods that ran alongside the park. Unconscious. She had fallen and hit her head on a tree trunk. I remember seeing the blood and not being able to work out where it was coming from, it was all over one side of her head and face. I was so scared. So very scared.’

Again, Anna could feel the pressure of his hand squeezing hers. ‘But she was all right though?’ she ventured softly.

‘Yes and no. It obviously wasn’t fatal but the bang to her head damaged her eardrum. All the blood was coming from her ear.’ Anna could see Tex gulp. ‘That’s why she’s deaf in one ear. She lost her hearing. For a long time I blamed myself. Of course, nobody accused me, nobody blamed me but I have always felt responsible for what happened. I should never have gone swimming, I should never have left her. If I had stayed in the park none of that would have happened.’

‘Tex, you poor thing,’ whispered Anna. She understood now why he had been so cross when Josie went missing. It was only because he was frightened, it must have brought back all those terrible memories. She also totally understood his feeling of guilt even though the rational part of him knew it wasn’t his fault. It was exactly how she felt about the car accident involving her and Mark. ‘I understand, I really do,’ she said in a hushed voice. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into an embrace as, on tiptoes, she rested her head against his shoulder. ‘It’s really okay, Tex, really okay,’ she said as his head sunk against her neck.

Anna felt Tex’s hand touch her hips tentatively at first, then the tension in his shoulders began to dissipate as she continued to hold him, until finally his hands slid round her waist and up her back. His lips fleetingly brushed her neck, the sensation making her catch her breath. He kissed her neck again. Without questioning herself, Anna pulled away slightly and turning her head, met his lips with hers. Just his kisses caused a total infusion of her senses. She couldn’t focus on anything, just the tingling, zinging, jingling sensation that was coursing through her like a galloping thoroughbred. A small tentative exchange of kisses, followed by a longer, more passionate, deeper one. It was almost too much. Almost.

Groaning, Tex pulled away first. ‘I gotta stop. This is not good for my blood pressure.’ He held her tightly to him instead, caressing her hair, dropping a small kiss on the top of her head. ‘Do you want me to take you home?’ he asked at last, looking down at her.

Anna could see the unspoken question in his eyes. Was this the moment when she abandoned all notion of not getting involved with Tex? Was this where she allowed things to go further?

‘Probably best if you take me home,’ she responded at last. ‘Sorry.’

‘It’s okay,’ he said reassuringly, before kissing her gently on the mouth.