Universal Alien (14 page)

C
HLOROFORM WAS PROCURED
and put over the assassins' mouths and noses. They all went back to fully out. “We have a little while now,” Reader said. “What's the story?”

“Bring the rest of the family down here. They need to hear what I'm going to say and I need the kids to verify something.”

“I don't want—” Chuckie started.

Put my hand up. “I don't care what you want right now. I'm telling you that your secrets need to come out, completely. Your children almost died today. If what I'm going to tell everyone about hadn't happened, your family
would
have died today. You can work with me and we can fix this, or you can work against me and leave the people you love the most in mortal danger. Your pick, but I have no idea how long I'm here for, and if it's a short-term loan, speed is going to be of the essence.”

Chuckie looked like he was ready to argue, but Buchanan spoke up. “Everyone upstairs knows what's going on, at least to a certain degree, based on what's just happened. Trying to hide this, or lie to them about it, is the definition of stupid.”

Chuckie sighed and nodded. “Fine. You're both right.” He trotted upstairs and came back with everyone. “Okay, we're all here.”

“Kit-Kat, are you okay?” Caroline asked me. “You haven't done anything remotely normal since . . . you ran us to the safe room. And, right now . . . you're looking at all of us like you've never seen us before.”

“I've seen you all before, just not the yous that you are.”

“Katherine, whatever are you talking about?” Aunt Carla asked.

“Before I answer that, kids, I need you to look at the woman here. Have you ever seen her, or this man,” I pointed to the guy Chuckie had identified as Raul, “before? Anywhere, here or in Australia or even just in passing?”

The kids all gave it their attention. “I have,” Jamie said. “She tried to kill us.”

“When?” Charlie asked, sounding shocked.

“A long time ago,” Jamie replied.

“No way,” Max said. “But I've seen her. I don't remember where.”

“We know her, Mommy,” Charlie said. “We met her in the park last week. She gave us candy, remember? She wanted to have us meet her kids and do a play date, but you told her we were heading back to America and it would have to be a rain check.”

“It so figures. And, no, honey, I don't remember. Because Max is right. I'm not your actual mother.” Charlie looked stricken, Max relieved, and Jamie . . . Jamie looked a little disappointed.

“I
told
you she wasn't our mommy,” Max said to Jamie.

“She's the mommy we needed,” Jamie replied stubbornly.

Everyone stared at her, me included. “What, sweetheart?” Chuckie asked carefully.

But Jamie just shook her head and wouldn't speak.

“My Jamie is a chatterbox,” I said to Chuckie. “What's going on with this Jamie?”

Everyone looked uncomfortable. Max heaved a sigh. “Jamie doesn't talk a lot. And . . . other things.”

“She's spoken more today than she has in recent weeks,” Pierre said, sounding sad and worried.

Shoved worry about this Jamie to the side and took a deep breath. “Fine. We'll move on. You may not understand it, and don't ask me how, but the best I can give you is this—I'm in Bizarro World. Oh, and this is Malcolm Buchanan. Like Charles and James, he's C.I.A. Just like my mother was. I'm not from this world—on my Earth, aliens exist and I'm married to one of them. I'm sure aliens exist here, too, though I don't think they've come to Earth to live. Have they, Dad?”

“How long have you known?” Dad asked.

“Me? I've known since I was twenty-seven and I discovered aliens were on the planet.”

“Kitty, for the last time, aliens are not on this planet,” Chuckie said.

“No, but they're out there, and they're communicating with us . . . aren't they, Dad?”

He nodded. “We're far from being able to visit, and communications take a long time, but intelligent life is out there, and, for us, quite nearby.”

“In the Alpha Centauri system, which has a lot of populated planets, doesn't it?”

Dad nodded again. Pierre, Aunt Carla, and Caroline looked shocked, but not nearly as shocked as Chuckie and Reader. “I'm sorry, boys. It's need-to-know and you didn't. Really, you still don't. Kitten, Charles is right—there are no aliens on this Earth.”

“Dad, I can't tell you how much I appreciate that you were a good father and read some comics just to keep up with me. You said ‘this' Earth. Meaning that you're feeling fairly confident that there's more than one universe out there.”

He gave me a small smile. “The current thinking is that we're part of a multiverse. And I'm looking at the proof. You're here.” He shook his head. “You're not my daughter. I mean, you are, clearly, but you look just a little . . . off. You're acting off, too, and not because of a concussion. How you moved . . .”

To her great credit, Aunt Carla wasn't arguing with Dad. Had a feeling it was because she also thought I wasn't the “right” Kitty. Which showed a rare ability to be insightful that the Aunt Carla I knew didn't have or never bothered to use.

“Yeah, it's called hyperspeed. I have it because my particular alien is both very powerful and was given a drug that mutated him. Our daughter, Jamie, who is the exact same age as this Jamie, did a mother-and-child feedback thing. So, I'm sort of part alien now.” Looked at Chuckie. “I really
am
Wolverine with Boobs.”

“Then where's
our
mommy?” Charlie asked in a little voice.

“I . . .” I was going to say that I wasn't sure, but my head throbbed. Had a feeling it wasn't hurting because of slamming into concrete. “Well, like your Grandpa Sol said, there are a lot of universes out there. And many of us are in all of them. Sometimes we're the same, and I guess sometimes we're not, but . . .” I winced as my head throbbed again.

Then I saw it. I saw the Universe Wheel. And I remembered it, and every time I'd seen it. And I also remembered that I never actually remembered it once I left the place where I was floating and watching the Wheel turn.

So, someone was trying to help me. Had two guesses for who, though others might be assisting as well. Sent a mental “thank you” out, and then got back to the business at hand of freaking out everyone in this basement.

“Katherine Katt is in a lot of universes out there. I've seen them. I'm one of the Katherine Katts that exists. In my universe, aliens from the Alpha Centauri system live on Earth.” My head throbbed again. “In fact, they're only on Earth—or I only know about them being on Earth—in my universe. So, in this one, they haven't come here.” Meaning Ronald Yates had never come to town. The implications of which might or might not matter right now.

“And . . .” I remembered more. “I saw her, your mother, your Kitty. She and I passed each other, just at the instant when she was knocked out, I think. So, that means she's in my world while I'm in hers.”

“But, if this is true and we're not all choosing to believe some bizarre fantasy, how did you get here?” Chuckie asked finally. “I mean that in the Bizarro World way, by the way. As in, was there a portal, were you both in the same place at the same time, or what?”

“Chuck, it's true,” Reader said. “You know in your gut it's true. And I saw her in action, you didn't. And by ‘saw' I mean watched things happen in the blink of an eye when I couldn't see Kitty, because she was moving so fast. There's nothing on Earth that could do that. At least, not on our Earth.”

“I felt . . . something, when we switched. That's all I've got right now, I'm sorry.”

“Why were you switched?” Buchanan asked thoughtfully.

“I think we were switched because the Kitty in this world and all her kids were about to die. I've been trained for five years to handle impromptu emergency situations. I handled it. She'd have died.”

“You don't know that,” Charlie said defensively.

Looked at Jamie. Who looked smug. “Yes, I do. Don't I, Jamie?”

She didn't reply. Chuckie cleared his throat. “Okay, I can believe that. My wife is a great driver and has excellent reflexes, but she's not trained to handle assassins. Speaking of whom, why did you know the kids would know the woman?”

“Because she exists in my world. She tried to kill me and Jamie when Jamie was just an infant. Well, she tried to kidnap Jamie and kill me. Because my Jamie is amazingly talented, in a very alien talents way.” Looked up at Buchanan. “You saved us from her, by the way. That's how I found out what you really did. So, how long have you been shadowing the me in this world?”

“Since your senior year of high school.”

Everyone, even Chuckie—hell, even Dad—looked shocked. “Dude, you're not that much older than me.”

“No, I'm not, but I'm older than you by enough. You were my first solo assignment, after your mother recruited and trained me. Protecting you, or rather, the Kitty from this world, has been my job for a decade.” He looked over at Chuckie. “And it's been necessary. You were added on as a protection target once you two got married. And the children, of course.”

“But you worked with us on missions,” Reader said. “You going to tell us you're Multiple Man and can be in more than one place at a time?”

“He's Doctor Strange, actually.”

“Whatever,” Buchanan said with a short laugh. “No, Angela had others doing family guard duty when we were on missions. She only pulled me in for the really tough ones.”

“So you're saying you've been protecting us from threats for a decade?” Chuckie asked. “I call BS. You worked too many missions with us for that to fly.”

Buchanan shrugged. “By the time Max was born, Angela had a team covering you. I was the head of it.” His eyes flashed. “And all my people are dead, too, just like all of hers. Out of her entire team, the three of us in this room are all that remains. Someone just tried to take you and your entire family out. That would include Reader, here, wouldn't it?”

“But we were called back because of the threat,” Reader argued. “If what the kids and Kitty say is true, and we have no reason to believe it isn't, then these assassins were going to hit us in Australia. Coming home saved us from them.”

“Did it?” Buchanan asked, speaking for both of us. “We're all only standing here, alive and in one piece, because an alternate version of Kitty—one with superpowers, I might add—just traded places with her. Otherwise, your family's dead and the murder-suicide that would have happened in this house later wouldn't even be questioned.”

“Malcolm is right, Charles,” Aunt Carla said quietly. “And as insane as it is to say this—I believe this Kitty. She moved me and Caroline at a speed that's impossible. She lifted things far heavier than she should be able to. And what she says makes sense. It's never sat properly with me, the story that Angela died in an accident. Based on what I know of my sister, this all seems more likely than not.”

“Aunt Carla, please let me welcome you to Team Megalomaniac. I'll explain the name later, but suffice to say, I'd like you thinking of every weirdo thing that's happened around our family for the past, oh, forty years or so, please and thank you.”

“There's a lot,” Dad said quietly.

“I'm sure there is. Start thinking of it, and writing it down. We may need to cross reference for connections and such. Caro, same for you, only focus more on politics. Charles –and you have no idea how hard it is for me to call you that—and Malcolm, let's get the Most Promising Conspiracy Theories lined up and ready for review.”

“I believe we can start with the company we hired to take care of our home and vehicles,” Pierre said. “The lack of anything being cared for combined with your airbags not opening screams suspicious to me.”

“I totally agree. Oh, and I hate these people, whoever they are, who have put these plans into motion. I say this a lot, by the way. There's a conspiracy afoot, gang, and it's been afoot for a while. Chu-, argh, Charles, once our prisoners wake up I'm going to question them. But, while we're waiting, how's your Wi-Fi situation down here, and do you have a spare laptop I can use?”

“It's excellent, Kitty the Alternate,” Pierre said. “And we have a plethora of computer equipment you can use. But why do you need it?”

“Because we're outnumbered and outgunned. And that means it's time for me to try to see if any of our reinforcements are out there.”

W
E'D WANDERED THE BIGGEST RAT MAZE
in the world, entered a gigantic library that would make the Library of Congress feel inadequate, and were now in a conference room that looked like a giant fishbowl. Somehow, the people I was with felt this was more secure than the hospital room at Walter Reed had been. Perhaps aliens couldn't read lips.

I'd met more people than I had a prayer of remembering, especially because ninety percent of them were gorgeous, and it was getting hard to differentiate one stunning beauty or amazing hunk from the other. Was grateful the A-Cs ran the gamut in skin tones and attractive body types just like humans did, because otherwise I'd have had less of a chance of remembering them than I already did.

Everyone was brought up to speed, at least insofar as how I was here and where we assumed “their” Kitty actually was. I'd gotten a very high-level overview of what the past five years had been like for my Cosmic Alternate. Apparently, even more complex than homeschooling two preternaturally bright boys and a little girl who was likely autistic. It was kind of nice to know that I rolled with the punches wherever I happened to exist, though.

Amy was still persisting in the idea that we were pals, which was more than a little annoying, especially because I knew Mom wanted me to fake it. I hadn't seen my mother for far too long—disobeying her direct orders right now seemed . . . ungrateful. And I was hugely grateful for whatever had flung me here, because, despite everything else, getting to be with Mom and to know that she loved me, even though I wasn't the same me as her daughter in this universe, meant everything to me.

Amy was picking up that I wasn't on board with our becoming BFFs again. She was wisely across the conference table from me, meaning I couldn't lunge at her, so she was still smart.

“Kitty,” she said during a brief lull in the barrage of information, “I swear to you that I'm not your enemy.”

“So your mother tried to tell me when Charlie and Max both were born. But I didn't care then and I don't care now. Your parents? I still like them. You yourself? I'll fake it just like my mother wants and everyone here says I have to, but in reality, you've been dead to me for eight years.”

Everyone gaped at me and Amy's face drained of color. Christopher put his arm around her and hugged her to him. “What did you say?” Charles asked slowly. “About her parents?”

“They still keep in touch with us, in the hopes that Amy and I will somehow reconcile. We won't, but why hurt Herbert or Solange's feelings?”

“Holy God,” Crawford said. “Kitty, is Herbert Gaultier doing any, ah, untoward experiments in your world?”

“No. He's a freaking humanitarian. He's got one of his research facilities focused on curing cancer. They've made some real breakthroughs. He got into it when Solange got sick. He found a cure for her, which works, but only if you have a specific genome type or something. The FDA can't approve it, therefore, so he's treated people in France, sort of illicitly and sort of not. Successfully each time, though. He's how we met Doctor Marling.”

“Doctor Marling?” Martini sounded shocked. “Antony Marling?”

“Yes. He's the leading pediatrician worldwide for children with . . . autism.”

“Why would you need to know a doctor like that?” Tito asked.

No time like the present. This Charles would hopefully not react defensively and get us into a huge fight in front of all these people. And if he did, maybe Martini or someone could reason with him and explain that saying the word didn't make either one of us bad parents. “Because, while we aren't sure, it seems that Jamie is autistic. Haven't you noticed anything wrong with her?”

“Ah, our Jamie is not autistic,” Martini said. “Precocious and, ah, talented and more. But not autistic.”

“Do both you and the . . . other me think that?” Charles asked.

“I think so. Charles is extremely . . . touchy on the subject. We can't talk about what's really wrong with Jamie without fighting. He thought what Doctor Marling suggested was crazy, but I think he might have been right.”

“What did Marling say?” Martini asked.

“Sorry, but I need us to get back to the Gaultier and Marling thing,” James said, voice tight but loaded with authority. It was clear he was saying this as Top Dude in the Room. And all the others nodded and turned to him, so apparently he was the Top Dude in the Room. Interesting. I'd have pegged that role for Martini, Richard, Charles, or Paul. “Kitty, in our world, those men were two of the most evil around, and they caused a tremendous amount of damage, pain, and suffering, much of which we're still dealing with.”

“Well, in my world, they're both dedicated to saving lives and are humanitarians of the highest order.”

“In our world, my mother is dead,” Amy said in a small voice. “She died when we were sophomores in college. Chuck verified that my father murdered her.”

“Oh. Wow. God, I'm so sorry.” I was. I knew what it was like to have lost your mother far earlier than you ever thought you would. “If it helps at all, your parents are still madly in love in my world.”

Tears rolled down Amy's cheeks. “It does. A little. They're both dead here.”

“I killed her father,” Christopher said. “Because he was going to kill all of us, starting with Amy.”

“I can understand that. I mean, I guess. If he was like you say he was here, killing your only daughter would be par for the course. Herbert would die for Amy in my world.”

“How could he be the man I remember him being when we were young in another universe, but one of the most evil men around in this one?” Amy asked plaintively.

“Is LaRue Demorte around?” Crawford asked. “She might be working for either Gaultier or Marling.”

“Never heard of her.”

“You're sure?” Martini asked.

“Chick named Street of the Dead? I'd remember a name like that. And no, as I said, I've never heard of her.”

“That explains a lot,” James said. “She may have been the person that flipped Gaultier toward the dark side here.”

“She was Gaultier's assistant, then his mistress, and then his wife,” Charles explained. “She's brilliant, and extremely evil.”

“Glad we've never met.”

“And if Ronald Yates never came to that Earth,” Richard said, “then perhaps that means the people he'd have influenced stayed on a different path.”

“Who's Ronald Yates?”

“My father,” Richard said sadly.

“And our grandfather,” Martini indicated himself and Christopher. “Most evil man in two solar systems. Makes Amy's father and Antony Marling look like small change, and that's saying a lot. Seriously, we'll continue to brief you on what it's like here while we marvel at how nice and calm your world is at the same time.”

“Our world is hardly calm.”

“Great, then we'll play World Badness One-Upmanship as we go along.”

I couldn't help it, I laughed. “You talk like I do.”

He nodded. “You've rubbed off on me. Don't worry, I like it.”

“Let's go over our list of megalomaniacs,” Crawford said. “I'd love a rundown on who's a saint and who's still a sinner.”

Lorraine hit something and a screen descended. There was a long list of names on it. “Wow, you guys have a lot of enemies.”

“We do,” Claudia said. “You—well, the other you—have helped us defeat most of them and hold the others at bay.”

“Go my Cosmic Alternate.” Looked at the list. “Leventhal Reid. He's an American politician, or he was. He died in a drunk driving accident right around the time my mother died.” Checked all the expressions in the room. “Ah. You think my mother was protecting him or after him?”

“Based on our experiences,” Charles said, “she was after him.”

“As a warning,” Martini said quietly, “my Kitty is terrified of him. It doesn't stop her, but she considers him the most evil man alive or dead. And in our world, he's back from the dead. She preferred our grandfather to Reid.”

“Wonderful. What are the odds I'm going to meet this charmer?”

“I'm hoping zero, baby.”

“Works for me.”

“It's the same situation for LaRue,” Charles said, also speaking softly. “And I'm hoping you don't run into her, either.”

“Apparently visiting Bizarro World isn't nearly as fun as I was led to believe. Okay,” I said in a louder voice, “never heard of Madeline Cartwright, but Cybele Siler Marling is Antony's wife. Her sister is Madeline Siler, and based on that née Siler I see behind her name on your list, I assume it's the same woman. She works with Cybele and Antony doing cancer research. She's a huge activist in Europe and lobbies in the U.S. all the time.”

“So, she's a good guy?” Crawford sounded shocked.

“Yes, as far as I know.” Continued to peruse the list for people I hadn't already talked about. “Ronaldo Al Dejahl I've never heard of, the Al Dejahl Terrorist Network doesn't exist—and believe me, we're world travelers so we pay attention to the various terrorist organizations. John Cooper is a really common name, so I have no idea, but I don't know one personally. Esteban Cantu . . . vaguely familiar, but that's not that uncommon a name, either. No one I can place. Vincent Armstrong—hey, didn't you say he was President?”

“Yes, he is,” Serene confirmed. “He was an enemy. He's not anymore.”

“Nice to know people can change. Don't know him, he's for sure not our President, however he could be a Congressman or a Governor—I certainly don't know all of them by name. Lillian Culver, no idea, Abner Schnekedy, are you kidding and who could forget that name? No idea who he is. Guy Gadoire, name's vaguely familiar but I have no idea why. Vance Beaumont, Edward Brewer, Nathalie Gagnon-Brewer, Leslie Manning, Bryce Taylor, Eugene Montgomery, Lydia Montgomery, Marion Villanova, Langston Whitmore, Marcia Kramer, and Zachary Kramer are all people I don't know. All of them could exist in my world, by the way, I just don't know them. I'm not sure that this means anything. Or that my doing this is useful at all.”

“Just keep on,” James said. “Better safe than sorry. They're not all our enemies, most of them are politically connected, and two of those people are high up in the U.S. government. Here, I mean.”

“If you say so. I haven't heard of any of them, so they can't be that high up where I come from. Casey Jones, Howard Taft, Harvey Gutermuth . . . my God, who names these people? No idea, unless you've got issues with a long-dead president. Club Fifty-One, never heard of it. Farley Pecker . . . him I'm pretty sure I know. He's the head of the worst bunch of so-called religious lunatics this country has come up with in a long time.”

“Yeah, he's exactly the same here,” Christopher said.

“How awesome for both of our universes.” Ran through a zillion more names—there were a lot of people on the A-C's Potentially Sketchy Humans List. I knew none of them. Then I hit a couple that I did recognize. “Wait—Jack and Pia Ryan? What the hell?”

“You know them?” Charles asked.

“Yes, they're friends of ours. Jack owns the Lexus dealership in Silver Spring where we buy all our cars. Pia's in sales. He lives for jokes about his name and how he's the same Jack Ryan as in the books. They're cool. Why are they on your Enemies List?”

“Ah . . . they weren't actually . . . on our side,” Crawford said.

“Well, he might have been,” Serene said. “We don't know for sure.”

Looked around the room. Everyone looked kind of uncomfortable, and the A-Cs weren't looking at me. “Oh, for God's sake, what is it?” No one answered. Most of them were looking at the conference table or the ceiling. Decided to do the math for myself. “They're both dead here, aren't they?”

“Yes,” Charles said. “I'm sorry. They weren't our friends. Pia worked for the C.I.A. We think she killed Jack because he found out what she was up to. She was murdered by the Mastermind.”

“The who?”

“That's a long explanation—” Christopher started.

Charles put up his hand, shutting Christopher up. “We have a Sith Lord active, and Pia was eliminated during Apprentice tryouts.”

Allowed this to compute. “I should probably be embarrassed that this explanation was the most understandable of all that you've given me since I woke up, but it was. Got it. Wow, things really suck here. At least in some ways.”

“They do,” Richard said. “But so far, we've been able to combat them. What I find interesting is that while some people, such as Charles and James, seem the same in your world, many do not.”

“I think it's the Yates Factor,” Charles said.

Martini nodded. “Granddad isn't here to spread his evil, people who maybe could have gone either way flipped toward good.”