Unleashed (28 page)

“Have you been sending me notes? You already admitted to following me. Did you chase me from the park
, Ray? I was scared to death.”

“What notes? I haven’t sent you any notes. I was there in the park that day. I wasn’t anywhere near you. I saw a hooded person lean
in and whisper in your ear, and then you freaked. I followed that person instead of you. I followed them following you. I then watched them enter your building. I can’t get into Edge, but they can. This is serious, Katya.”

I don’t remember Ray being an actor. The sincerity and fright rolling off him should be imp
ossible to duplicate. Either Ray is telling the truth or is in need of an Academy Award.

“I’m sorry if I frightened your daughter yesterday. I just wanted to give you a message. I couldn’t get close enough to actually talk to any o
f you. I just wanted to know that you all were okay after what I did to you. I want you guys to be happy. I’m blessed that I have a son, and now, a granddaughter. I mean none of you any harm. I will do everything I can to see who is behind my release and who frightened you in the park. I’m sorry. I’ll leave you a message with your doorman if I find something out. Please don’t disregard it. I’ll try to be good otherwise, I can’t promise you, though. Once this is taken care of, I’ll leave the area. I can promise that, at least.”

Before I could respond, Ray
abruptly turns and leaves the bakery. His large stride eats up the space between me and the door. He is gone in an instant as if he never was even here.

I think calm thoughts as I wait my turn in line. I can hear Cort’s laughter and his smooth voice
answering his fans. The familiar happy sound reground me to the here and now. I’m not in the past lying on the hard, forest ground with a rock shearing my back as a psycho ruts on me. I’m in a bakery waiting for my order. We’re celebrating the start of a new life for Aaron and Kayla. 

“Ms. Water, your
order is packaged up.” I snap out of my reverie when the lady behind the counter calls out to me.

“Thanks,” I sa
y and I step forward. I hand the cashier my debit card as a hand snakes around my waist, causing me to flinch. I recognize Cort’s familiar possessive touch, and breathe a sigh of relief.

“What’s the matter, Kitten?” Cort whispers in my ear
. He pulls my back against his chest, and I slowly relax into his warmth.

“I’ll tell you in a minute. Let’s get our order and get the hell out of here.” I try not to shake. I tense my entire body, but it betrays me. I involuntarily shake as the shock of seeing Ray Hunter wears off.

“Are you alright?” Cort rubs his hands up and down my arms, trying to warm me with friction. It helps to relax my tense muscles, but does nothing for the chill. It’s not the kind of cold that heat fixes. It is a soul-deep chill that only time can warm.

“Here ya
go, guys. Tell Kayla I said congrats,” the pretty girl behind the counter says as she hands us our sweets.

“Thanks, I will do that.” I try to sound pleasant and manage to cover my fear. The adrenaline is evaporating from my system
, leaving me exhausted, and the day has only just begun.

“What happened?” Cort asks as we walk down the block toward the Edge building.

“Ray gave me his message. The one he wanted to talk to Ezra about.” I calmly say. My even voice completely belies the stew of emotions brewing in my mind.

I listlessly walk down th
e street, carrying a box of bite-sized cheesecakes. I contemplate eating a few to get my strength back. Sugar would help, it always does. I eye the devil’s food cupcakes that Cort is toting. Yeah, they would do a better job. I lick my lips in anticipation of chocolate gooeyness.

“What? You saw Ray
? Why didn’t you call for me?” Anyone who didn’t know Cortez any better would think he was angry. But I do know him better. Cortez is scared.

“I could still see you. I was in a crowded bakery
, and Ray couldn’t hurt me. I was fine. Maybe, a little scared, but physically fine,” I flippantly mutter.

I repeat
the entire conversation I had with Ray, verbatim.

“Do you think Ray
was telling the truth?” Cort asks, hope strongly lacing his voice.

“Yeah, I do.
Strangely enough, I believe Ray. He has no reason to lie. If he wanted to fuck with us, he would have. So why bother doing it this way? Ray’s eyes don’t hold that crazy look anymore. A few times I saw it flash across his face when he talked about needing to feed his hunger. Let’s not tell Ezra until tomorrow morning. I don’t want to worry him. Ezra needs to be calm in order to deal with all the people in our apartment. I won’t lie, I’m scared shitless. If Ray is telling the truth, then someone at the party could be the stalker. Ray said they have access to the Edge building. But we have to find someone who has access to Edge and ShadowHaven.”

We walk
silently for a block, while I try to form a question that has been plaguing my mind. “Cort, I need to ask you something and I know that it’s totally the opposite of what we were just talking about. You don’t have to answer if it’s too uncomfortable.”

“You can ask me anything,
Kitten.” Cort turns to look at me and dramatically rolls his eyes. “Anything to take Ray off my mind. Please,” he eagerly begs. 

“Okay, just don’t get mad
,” my voice cracks with worry. “Ezra said something strange. He said that you haven’t touched him, either. What did Ez mean?”

“Of course you couldn’t pick something fun to talk about
, like the conflict in the Middle East or world hunger. Not my Kat, she has to go in for the kill.” Cort exasperatedly sighs, sounding just Ezra.

“What we’ve done with you is the most we’ve done in a very long time.
Last night was incredible. I mean Ezra and I affectionately touch here and there when we’re alone, nothing more- nothing less. An embrace or a quick kiss, but most of the time we avoid physical contact.” Cortez sounds sad, as if he wishes it were different. 

“Why not? Is it because you aren’t into guys? I thought since it was Ez
ra it didn’t make a difference,” my tone twists with confusion. 

“No, I don’t like guys,
” Cortez says, but I can hear denial thick in his voice. Cortez looks like he wishes he could drag his fingers through his hair out of frustration but the bakery box fills his hands. “Shit,” he hisses under his breath.

Cortez
is silent for a moment, and I just walk with him. I won’t force this conversation if it’s that difficult. I’ll see if Ezra can make sense of it for me later.

“I have no issue with touching Ezra at all.
I want to, badly. It’s like breathing. We were very close before Ray came into our lives. Close in the way that Ezra didn’t think anyone else existed outside of me. It scared me, so I pulled away and starting dating girls because they weren’t Ez. And then Ray came along, and he made me do things to Aaron that I will regret for the rest of my life. I’m scared that certain acts will bring it all back in a rush, so I refuse to do them. But that isn’t why I have a difficult time letting Ezra in. He betrayed me. He’s lied to my face. I had a girlfriend and Ez was with her without me. But I understood that. Then he cheated on me with another man… I can’t get over it. I’m not a girl, and I can never be a girl. But a man… I don’t even blame Ezra, anymore, I blame myself.”

I just stare ahead in disbelief. Ezra is one of the most honorable people I
’ve ever known. I just can’t believe it. He may stalk, but he feels like he’s doing these domineering things for our best interests. I just can’t see Ezra cheating on Cortez. I can see the faith and adoration gazing out of their eyes when they look at one another. You can almost see their connection, as if the thread is a tangible thing.

“I didn’t talk to Ezra
for almost a year. It was the first year of my marriage. It was around the same time he started dating that bitch. I’ve always associated Adelaide with his cheating. It has nothing to do with her, but it was around that time. So when I see Adelaide, I remember the lies, the betrayals, and the agony. Ezra tore my heart out, and he never showed a bit of remorse.”

“I can see that. When I
see Adelaide, I want to tear her limb-from-limb. Maybe someday we can do that together.” I laugh to lighten the moment. “Who?”

“Ezra was going through a tough time and I wasn’t there for him. I was wrapped up in my wedding
, and then my marriage. I was trying to start a real life with Divina. I avoided Ezra since I had a hard time not touching him when I was around him. I didn’t want to admit my true feelings for him- they hurt too much. Ezra’s lies and betrayals were turning my stomach. When I’d look at him, he’d lie to my face. Ezra has mental issues that aren’t for me to discuss. But he was broken, and I just couldn’t help him because of my hurt feelings. In time, I got over that… for the most part.”

“What did Ezra do?” My voice cracks, because if Ezra can cheat on Cort, how easy would it be for him to cheat on me.

“I won’t tell you who the girl was. I had a girlfriend. It wasn’t true love or anything. She was my best friend, our best friend. What Ezra did was disrespectful- the lying to my face. I thought we were better than that. I thought both of them were. A lot of stuff happened that I can’t talk about- it’s too painful. But I was getting over it when Ray took Ezra, and then Ray came back for me and Aaron. Then I couldn’t get over what happened to us.”

“Oh, Cort,” I cry, wishing I could reach out and comfort him, but the bakery boxes are filling my arms.

“It is what it is… I knew we’d eventually find our ways back to one another. After… Ezra found an outlet for himself. He read about BDSM in his studies. We knew Marc was into the lifestyle, so Ez went to Marcus for advice. I didn’t speak to Marcus even longer than Ezra after this. It took me a long time to realize it wasn’t their fault, and I’m still not sure if it was the other guy’s fault. I’d love to just blame them. It’d be a lot easier than blaming myself.”

“What happened? Do you blame the lifestyle because of this? Why isn’t it Ezra’s fault? I understand why you’d feel resentful towards him. I feel it for you. But why are you blaming yourself?” I rapidly ask question after question. Ezra is so tight-lipped and he orders everyone else to be when I ask them questions. But Cortez is his own man, and he usually answers whatever I ask.

“I’ll start at the beginning,” Cort mutters. “Ez and I were close, closer than brothers or lovers. We were true partners, and I thought we shared everything. Obviously I was wrong,” Cort’s voice breaks, causing tears to well in my eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper.

“Ezra’s first betrayal was keeping the most important thing from me- his mental illness. I noticed it faster than anyone else, but I was helpless to stop it. But Marc-”

“Marcus helped?” I say in shock.

“Marcus isn’t much older than we are. He married Diane when we were fourteen and he was twenty.” I raise my eyebrows at that. “Yeah, Diane is a cradle robbing bitch,” he fondly says. “Cougar,” he chuckles out. “Anyway, Marcus came to live with us earlier than that, before he even graduated from High School. I saw Marcus as a God. He was larger than life. We could go to Marc for anything. He was like a mentor to us. It makes me feel worse for hating him for so long.”

“Please tell me you aren’t say
ing what I think you’re saying,” I gasp out. 

“No…no way.” Cort
uncomfortably laughs, and I know I’ve hit on something Cort won’t talk about.

“I see Marcus as an older brother,” Cort
lies. I can hear it in his voice. “Marc introduced Ezra to a man who he thought could help him. For my sake, Marc even made sure it was a man who didn’t like men. I may not like men in that way, with the exception of Ezra.” Again, Cort’s voice breaks as if speaking the lie is physically difficult. I don’t know what Cortez is hiding, but I think he’s hiding it from himself.

“Ezra definitely prefers men to women
, like only three women have ever aroused him,” Cort looks at me sideways.

“Um… you’re saying the Ezra is actually gay, aren’t you?” I squeak out.

“Yes,” Cort softly admits. “Ezra is gay.”

“And I know these women, don’t I?” I roughly choke out.

“Yes,” Cort mutters. “And Adelaide isn’t one of them…”

“Lovely,” I hiss. “Queen, me, and the mystery girlfriend,” I deduce.

“Genius,” Cort says with a sad smile. “No worries, Kitten. Sex isn’t just about body parts. It’s about connection.”

“And now Marcus’ bridge statement makes a heluva lot of sense,” I grumble. Marcus knew that Cortez will always need a woman and Ezra and Cortez will always need each other. Finding a woman they both want, one that won’t freak out that they need to be with each other, is a once in a lifetime thing… on maybe a twice or thrice in a lifetime thing, according to Queen and the mystery girlfriend.

“Speaking of Marc, he thought he was doing the right thing for me- making sure Ezra’s Master didn’t do men. But the Master/sub relationship is complicated. You will do things you didn’t think were possible. Look at Aaron. He would beg to be taken, even by me. I didn’t, but Ezra did. By the way, I never saw Ezra helping Aaron through his issues as a betrayal,” Cort says with conviction. “I broke Aaron and my partner was putting him back together.”