Unlovable (22 page)

***

My lack of sleep caught up with me on
the drive over to the hospital after school, and I fell asleep in
his car.

“
Maggie.” Something warm
brushed against my cheek, I awoke to see Seth’s face only inches
from mine. I looked into his eyes, down at his mouth and back to
his eyes. One more time my stupid eyes dipped to his
mouth.

“
Sorry.” I shifted away from
him. “I haven’t slept much the past few nights.” I scooted out of
the car and sucked in a lung full of cold crisp air to clear my
head.

Walking into my mom’s room a few
minutes later, I recognized the expression on her face instantly;
she wanted a drink.

“
Hi, Mom, how’re you doing?”
I leaned in awkwardly to hug her, and true to form, she shoved me
away.

“
How does it look like I’m
doing, you stupid girl.” Her insults were commonplace to me, but I
felt embarrassed having Seth hear them. I had hoped she’d play nice
if she knew we had company.

“
Mom, do you remember
Seth?”

She stared at him for a moment before
nodding. “Yes, yes, the handsome boy. What are you doing
here?”

“
I brought Maggie to see
you. She’s been worried.”

“
I wonder what this random
act of kindness is going to cost her. Wait, let me guess, you
brought her here purely out of the goodness of your heart.” She was
beyond sarcastic now, she was behaving downright rude.

“
Mother,” I said, shame
washing over me.

“
I have homework to do,
Maggie. I’ll be in the waiting area studying until you’re ready to
go. No rush” he said, walking out the door. My mother didn’t wait
for it to close before she started up again.

“
Maggie, he’s much too
handsome. Mark my words, he’s only after one thing.”

Thanks, Mom. You sure know
how to build me up
. I walked over to the
window and leaned against the sill. “When are they going to let you
leave?”

“
Tomorrow. Why? Are you
planning on letting him into my house while I’m gone?” She narrowed
her eyes. “You stupid—” Doctor Colter came in cutting off her
insult. I noticed he was walking with a slight limp.

“
Good afternoon, Maggie, how
are you doing?” He smiled warmly and limped over to my
mom.

“
Hello, Dr. Colter. I’m
fine, thanks. Did you hurt your leg?”

“
Oh, well, yes. It’s
nothing. I twisted my ankle getting out of bed this morning,” he
said, his ears now bright red. “Just one of those freak accidents.”
He turned to my mother. “Mrs. Brown, how are you feeling?” He was
being polite; my mother never married, she was Miss Brown, same as
me.

“
I want a drink, that’s how
I’m feeling.” The agitation in her voice was tangible.

“
Mrs. Brown, we’ve talked
about this. The drinking has to stop, your body can’t take much
more. Think about Maggie.”

“
Why do you think I drink?”
she said, folding her arms tightly across her body.

The warm smile abruptly left Dr.
Colter’s handsome face. “Your blood count is increasing.” His tone
had turned cold and formal. “If you continue to improve we may send
you home as early as tomorrow.”

“
I want to go
now!”

“
Not a wise choice, Mrs.
Brown. You may need another transfusion, and if you go home now
you’ll be back in here by the end of the week.” She grumbled
something under her breath I couldn’t quite hear. Judging from the
way Dr. Colter’s jaw clinched, he heard it just fine. “You should
reconsider going into our Rehab program. We have an excellent unit
here at—”

“
I already told you I’m not
going into Rehab. There’s nothing wrong with me. Get
out!”

He didn’t fight her, what would be the
point? If she wouldn’t help herself, there was no Rehab program in
the world that could help her. “Good afternoon, ladies.” As soon as
he left, my mom started on me again.

“
This doesn’t mean you and
that boy can go into my hou—”

“
Time for your medicine,
Mrs. Brown.” A perky young nurse came in with a syringe full of
something and injected it into the IV tubing. “Hello, I’m Natalie
DeLyzer, and I’ll be taking care of your mother tonight. I’m afraid
this medication is going to make her sleepy. You may want to say
your goodbyes quickly.” My mom’s eyelids were already drooping as I
brushed the hair off her forehead.

She shoved me back without opening her
eyes. “Go away, brat.”

“
It’s the medication, honey,
she doesn’t mean what she’s saying.” Not having the heart to
disagree with her, I left.

I was tired of loving a woman who
didn’t love me back.

I made my way over to Seth. He and Dr.
Colter were talking in the lounge area. “Hey, that didn’t take
long, no need to rush on my account.” Seth’s eyes were filled with
kindness even after the terrible way my mom had acted.

“
They gave her something to
help her sleep.”

“
This is who you’re waiting
for?” Dr. Colter smiled widely at Seth.

“
This is the girl I was
telling you about, Maggie Brown. Maggie, this is Cole.”

“
Yes, her mother’s a patient
of mine. You should take this pretty young lady home, she needs
some sleep. She’s hardly left her mother’s side.”

“
I will. See you later,
Cole.”

“
Do you know everyone in
town?” I asked, walking to the car.

“
I know one doctor and
suddenly I know everyone?”

“
Booker Gatto?”

“
That still hardly
constitutes everyone, Maggie.”

“
Speaking of Booker, he gave
me a ride home from the hospital last night. Why didn’t you tell me
Lunch Swap is your charity?”

“
I don’t know,” he shrugged
modestly.

“
Are you going to tell me
about it?”

“
Fine, while I make us some
dinner.” We drove to the local Wegman’s grocery store. He
filled the small cart with an assortment of foods, including, red,
green and yellow peppers, scallions, boneless chicken breast,
Jasmine rice, and stewed tomatoes, to name a few.

“
All this for one meal?” I
tried not scowling at the huge bulb of garlic he sat on the
checkout counter.

“
A lot of this is for the
Spanish rice, it’s my favorite. And remember, you like this now,”
he said, pointing to the garlic.

Back at my house, he had me mix up
some honey and butter for the brown bread he bought, while he
worked feverishly over the rice dish.

“
Where is your garlic
press?” I handed him a knife, he rolled his eyes. A few minutes
later he asked for our cheese grater, I again handed him a knife.
He shook his head. “We should have done this at my
house.”

I set the table as he added sautéed
chicken breast to the rice. It sizzled deliciously in the pan, and
my stomach quivered in anticipation.

“
Okay, enough stalling, Mr.
Double standard. Spill it.” I said, sitting down to the
feast.

“
Double standard? How do you
figure?” He sprinkled a minuscule amount of salt on his rice after
taking a small bite.

“
You want me to tell you
about everything going on in my life, yet you neglect to mention
we’ve been delivering lunches for
your
charity.”

“
Maggie, holding everything
inside because you don’t trust anyone, and not bragging about a
charity you run are two totally different things.”

“
Possibly.” It was amazing
how well he knew me already.

“
Don’t let the left hand
know what the right hand is doing, sound familiar?”

“
Fine, the left hand just
found out about the right hand, so tell me.”

“
My dad started the Lunch
Swap, wanting to give back to the community, and I think he wanted
me to be aware of the needs of others around me.” Seth sliced each
of us a piece of bread before continuing.

“
He believed there were
those who didn’t want a handout and if offered a free lunch they
wouldn’t accept it, which is why the Lunch Swap isn’t
free.

“
For example, Mr. McSheehy
lectures at local schools and organizations a couple of times a
year about his experiences in World War II. Instead of paying him,
the groups who schedule him donate the money to Lunch Swap, which
helps defray the cost of the lunches.

“
Miss Ethel crochets baby
blankets. I take them to a local thrift store, and whatever money
they make on the blankets, they donate to the Lunch
Swap.

“
Some of our clients do
services for each other,” he said, spreading honey butter on his
bread. “Others help out by coming into the shop and preparing the
lunches. To be part of the Lunch Swap family you have to donate
time, or a service to someone within the community. It’s
unimportant how small the act is, it’s the act itself that matters.
We’re helping each other, no one has ever been turned away because
there’s always something a person can do to qualify.”

“
It's a great idea,” I said,
slathering a large chunk of honey butter on my bread; it was
delicious.

“
The senior citizens love it
because they feel useful again, and they don’t feel guilty for
taking a handout because it’s not. I learned a lot while working
with my dad, and after he died, the best way I could show my
appreciation for all he’d taught me was to continue with the Lunch
Swap.”

I looked at him in awe; he was an
amazing guy. “What’s the matter?”

“
Nothing,” I said with a
smile.

He reached across the table, touching
my hand. “I thought we were past the whole blocking me out
thing.”

“
A leopard doesn’t change
its spots overnight.”

“
As far as I know you’re not
a leopard.” He raised his brow at me.

“
I was thinking you’re an
amazing person. There, happy now?”

“
Yes,” he said, grinning
smugly. “Did that hurt?”

“
Horribly!” I grimaced in
mock pain.

“
Do you want me to kiss it
better?”

“
Amazing, yet still a
hopeless flirt.”

“
Only with you, Mags,” he
said. “Only with you. 

After dinner, he took my hand while we
walked out to his car, and my heart skipped a beat, or maybe three,
I hardly noticed anymore. I’d grown accustomed to my body’s
over-reaction to him.

“
Dinner was wonderful, thank
you. Are you sure you don’t want to take some home? There’s enough
left to feed a small army,” I said, pulling my hand away to help
steady my heart. Okay, maybe I still noticed.

“
Positive, you keep it.” I
slid my hands into my pockets, it was exceptionally cold out
tonight. Seth reached over, zipped my jacket, and tugged the hood
up.

“
Maggie, I don’t like the
idea of you sleeping here alone, not with these killings going
on.”

“
Seth, I’ll be fine. I stay
here every night and nothing has ever happened.”

“
Why don’t you spend the
night at my hou—?”

“
No!” My heart leapt into my
throat. I knew it. We hadn’t even dated and it was already
starting.

“
Maggie, I didn’t mean
anything by it, don’t overreact. If it makes you feel better, you
can stay at my house, and I’ll come back here and
sleep.”

“
That’d be silly, I’d be
alone there too. Why does it matter whose house I’m alone
at?”

“
The murders have been on
this side of town, Maggie, I wasn’t suggesting anything
else.”

I guess that could have been what he
meant. “Sorry. I’ll be fine.”

“
Be careful. Lock the doors
and check all the windows.” He pulled out a cell phone, punched
several buttons, and placed it in my hand. “Here, take this.” His
hand immediately sprung up to my mouth. “If you don’t take it, I’ll
throw you over my shoulder, drag you off to my house, and tie you
up in the basement. Your choice,” he said sweetly. “If you need me,
if you get scared, if some strange feeling invades your body and
you feel like you want someone to talk to,” he said, arching an
eyebrow, “call me. I programmed the speed dial, button number one,
to call my cell directly.”

“
If I have your phone, how
can I call you?”

“
This is a pay-as-you-go
phone I picked it up for you at the hospital gift shop,” he said
nonchalantly.

I felt ashamed for jumping to
conclusions. “I don’t deserve a friend like you.”

He took my face in his hands and
looked into my eyes for several moments. Sliding his hands around
to the back of my neck, he pulled me slowly toward him and caressed
my cheek with a kiss no more than half an inch from my lips. “I’ll
see you in the morning,” he whispered against my skin.

Oh, man, I’m in so much
trouble!

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