Unlovable (23 page)

Early the next morning, I called and
checked on my mom. The nurse informed me that she’d had a rough
night, and Dr. Colter had changed her medications around to see if
that would help ease her through the withdrawals. He wanted to bump
back her release date to Friday. She was going to flip
out.

Seth called as I finished my shower.
“Are you still alive?”

“
Sort of.” I patted the
water off my face. “The undead came in the middle of the night,
and, well, I hope you don’t mind having a friend who’s a
vampire.”

“
I hear they’re not so bad
once you get passed the whole blood sucking thing.”

“
Good, hurry over, I’m
thirsty. Maybe I’ll nibble on you a little before school.” I
realized I was flirting as soon as I sputtered out the words. Me,
flirting, definitely a first.

“
Hmm, is that a
promise?”

Realizing I had no comeback, I
abruptly ended the conversation and finished getting dressed. Seth
knocked on the door as I was tying my sensible brown shoes. “Come
in.”

“
There’re crazed killers
running around, and you yell ’come in’ without knowing who’s at the
door?” He shut the door behind him and checked to make sure the
living room window was locked.

“
I heard your
car.”

“
Unless you can see through
the door, you couldn’t be sure.”

“
Ah, that’s part of my new
vampire skills, x-ray vision.” I smiled slyly.

“
Impossible.”

“
How do you know? Are you
some kind of vampire aficionado?”

“
I meant
you
are impossible!”

I laughed. “Let me grab my book bag,
and we can go.”

“
Wait.” He caught me around
the waist, pulling me next to him. “You said if I hurried over
you’d give me a little nibble.”

“
I thought we were just
friends, Mr. Flirt, remember?”

“
What if I want to be more
than just friends? What if being just friends isn’t working for me
anymore?” Without a hint of a smile, he leaned forward to kiss
me.

But I didn’t want him to, did I?
Fortunately, or unfortunately, I wasn’t sure which, someone began
pounding on the door, saving me from having to decide.

“
Come in,” I said
automatically. Seth threw me an exasperated look, I cringed.
“Sorry!”

My neighbor, Mr. Hoffman, entered with
the customary sneer on his face. “Is the hospital going to be
calling me all day?” It certainly wasn’t the first time he’d
complained having to take a message for us.

“
I have a cell phone now so
they won’t bother you,” I assured him.

“
When does your Mom get
home?”

“
Probably not until
Friday.”

“
She owes me money.” His
voice was a low grumble.

“
Money, what for?” As if I
didn’t know already. Booze. Since our phone service got canceled
the day before Christmas for lack of payment, she’d been asking
Hoffman to pick it up for her. I’d always leave a check for him in
the exact amount, but she must have increased her order again. I
had no idea how we were going to pay for it.

“
See, your mom’s been
running a little low on her vodka lately, and I’ve been buying some
for her. She said when her check came she’d skim a little off the
food budget to pay me back,” he said, looking at Seth, then back to
me. He stepped closer, and I drew my head back. He reeked of
alcohol and cigarettes, not a good combination.

“
A pretty young thing like
you, maybe we can work out a deal so your mom doesn’t have to pay
so much in cash,” he murmured low in my ear, running a finger up my
arm.

Seth crossed the room and had Mr.
Hoffman up against the wall in less than a second. “Get. Out. Don’t
EVER touch her again. Don’t even LOOK at her. Do I make myself
clear?” Mr. Hoffman’s eyes popped open wide. He nodded, saying
nothing as he lost his balance and slid to the floor. He scrambled
to his feet, and Seth handed him a wad of folded up bills from his
wallet.

“
Does this square up what
her mother owes?” He nodded, still too frightened to speak. “Get
out.”

I felt stupid. “Thanks.” I headed to
his car, and stood quietly, waiting for him to open the
door.

“
Your mother…” I turned to
look at him. His eyes were a brilliant green and his face burned
bright with anger. Clearly fighting for control, he didn’t finish
his sentence. He ran his fingers through his hair and opened the
car door without another word.

We drove to the school in
deafening silence. As always, he was around to my side of the car
before I could get out. “How do you do that?” I smiled, hoping to
lighten the mood. “You move stealth-like. One minute you’re over
there, and then suddenly you’re next to me, it’s very impressive.
In fact, I don’t even hear you approaching. It’s like
Poof,
suddenly you’re
there.”

“
I do not
poof
,” he protested
drily. With a whole lot of effort, I held back a giggle. I jumped
in front of him and began walking backwards to see his
face.

“
Do you have a magic wand up
your sleeve?” He shoved the arms of his shirt up, proving there was
nothing up his sleeves, so to speak, although I did get a look at
some really great forearms. He took a hold of my shoulders, guiding
me through a group of kids who were passing us.

“
Seth, please don’t let Mr.
Hoffman upset you.” I halted my walk, not wanting to chance a
collision. “I’ve had to deal with creeps like him my whole life.
You learn to ignore them.”

He looked at me as if I was insane.
“You’re okay with what happened?”

“
No, it’s disgusting, it
makes my skin crawl, but that’s life. There’s nothing I can do
except deal with it.”

“
Maggie, it’s not how life
is, your neighbor’s a creep. Most people don’t live like that, and
you shouldn’t have to either. You do realize the reason you go
hungry all the time is because your
mother
,” he said the word with
choler, “drinks your food money away!”

“
She’s sick.”

Gently shaking me, he let out a rush
of air, his mood noticeably calmer now. “And you say I’m the
amazing one. I think not.” Wrapping his arm around my shoulders, he
softly kissed my forehead as we walked to Mythology together. I
felt somewhat nervous having his arm around me, yet a part of me
enjoyed it too much to say anything.

After school, he took me to the
hospital. I stayed for only a few minutes, she was unbelievably
rude, not to mention angry at having to stay longer. “I may
actually prefer her drunk,” I said as we left.

By Friday, she wanted out badly. Due
to a paper work glitch, we weren’t able to leave the hospital until
almost 10:00 P.M. Seth drove us home and helped me get her inside
and into bed. She was still heavily medicated, but not heavy enough
to stop her from harassing Seth. To his credit, he said
nothing.

“
Thanks,
again
. I owe you more than I can
ever repay,” I said, walking him to the door.

“
I’m keeping track, you
know. So far, you owe me quite the kiss. Don’t worry. I’m not ready
to collect, yet.”

“
When did we rescind the no
flirting thing?” He shrugged and turned to go. “Wait, here’s the
phone back. I won’t need it anymore, thanks.” I dug down into my
pocket to retrieve it.

“
Maggie, I’d feel much
better if you kept it at least until w-they catch the killers.
Remember, all the murders have been on this side of town,” he
pointed out.

As soon as he left, I went straight to
bed, lack of sleep was my biggest enemy. I became downright loopy,
if not totally unreasonable when I didn’t get enough. Thankfully,
tomorrow was Saturday, it meant two things, sleeping in and
delivering lunches with Seth. I smiled, tucked the threadbare
purple blanket under my chin and drifted off.

I didn’t sleep well at all, waking up
several times during the night in a panic and running to check on
my mom. At 6 A.M., I finally gave up on sleep all together and got
dressed.

I was excited to see it had snowed, it
meant I could wear my new boots. After weeks of false promises from
the weatherman, we finally received some decent snow. I slipped
them on and shoveled our sidewalk. When I finished, I began
clearing off Gertie’s and discovered Fluffy fast asleep on her
porch. “Hey, dog, are you two timing me?” He came bounding across
the snow, barking for me to pick him up. I quickly finished and
took him back to my house.

Seth suggested we take him along on
our lunch deliveries, which turned out to be a big mistake. It took
us twice as long to finish having to fight to keep the dog from
getting into the food. Normally spending extra time with Seth
wouldn’t have bothered me, only with my mom being fresh from the
hospital I worried about her being home alone.

By the time he dropped us off, it was
nearly three o’clock. Fluffy darted out of the car door as
soon I opened it and took off after Gertie’s cat. Aside from the
free food, it was apparent he didn’t like the car ride. I rushed
into the house, setting the extra lunches Seth always gave us on
the table.

“
Mom, I have some food, are
you hungry?” I tossed my fleece on the couch and ran to my room to
change out of my boots. The house was too chilly for bare feet so I
pulled on my makeshift slippers and my old sweater before heading
back to the kitchen for some food. I found my mom standing by the
table, glaring down at the lunches.

“
Hey, Mom. How are you
feeling?” I zipped up the sweater against the cold.

“
What did you do to Mr.
Hoffman?” Her voice was as cold as ice. It stopped me dead. “He
told me to leave and never come back again.” I surmised she must
have gone over there first thing to get some vodka.

“
Mom, we don’t need him
anymore, you’re getting better. It’s been almost a week since
you’ve had a drink. You can do this, mom. The doctor
sai—”

“
I DON’T CARE WHAT SOME
DOCTOR SAID. I’LL DECIDE WHAT’S BEST FOR ME.” Her breathing was
erratic, and her face, red.

“
Where did you get that
coat?” She pointed to the fleece Seth had given me. “Did you take
what little money we have and spend it on yourself, you
self-centered brat?”

“
No, Seth… gave it to me.”
As the words left my mouth, I knew she would twist his gift into
something salacious.

Her eyes narrowed. “And what exactly
did you give Seth for the coat?”

“
Nothing, mom, he’s not like
that.”

“
They are all like that,
don’t kid yourself.” She turned back to the lunches and continued
with her acquisitions. “What about this food? Did he give you these
also, or did you buy these because you are too lazy to cook? These
are expensive.”

I had never served her one of Seth’s
lunches in the Styrofoam container before, having always set it on
a plate for her. “No, they didn't cost us anything, I-”

“
LIAR!” She took the lunches
and flung them across the living room, the contents spewed
everywhere.

“
Mom, I worked for those,
they were free.” As I explained Seth’s charity to her, she stomped
across the room and stood less than six inches from me.

“
You stupid idiot!” She
slapped me hard across the face. “Don’t you see what he’s doing?
He’s using you. I won’t raise another child if you get pregnant, do
you understand?” Not having her full strength back, she stumbled
against the table.

“
I’m not sleeping with him,”
I said, rubbing at the sting on my cheek.

“
Hah! I’ve seen the way you
look at him. You’ve been warned, young lady. You will not bring a
child into this house, is that clear? I’ll drag you down to the
clinic, and you’ll get an abortion, like I should have done with
you!” She dropped down heavily onto a kitchen chair.

I felt sickened by her words, and told
myself the alcohol withdrawals were causing her hideous mood, but
my heart was still breaking. She was my mother, for crying out
loud, did she feel nothing for me?

“
I met your father while at
a party with one of my girlfriends. I was only sixteen years old.
He was incredibly handsome, just like your precious Seth.” She
dropped her head against the back of the chair and shut her eyes.
She never spoke of my father. Whenever I had asked about him, she’d
say he was a loser and drop the subject.

“
He plied me full of Gin and
Tonics all night. I can’t remember how many exactly, but too many.
The next morning I found a note on the pillow.

’
Hey,
Betty, thanks for a great time
.’

“
Not only did he get my name
wrong, he didn’t even sign the note.” She snorted. “I never did
learn his name. When I figured out I was pregnant, it was unsafe
for me to have an abortion. I was so angry. I didn’t want a stupid
baby to take care of, I didn’t even want you back then.” She rose
up off the hard kitchen chair, limped slowly over to the
couch.