Unlovable (44 page)

“
I’m sorry, Book. Maggie
told me what happened. It’s not fair. He was a wonderful man. Was
it his heart?” Booker didn’t answer. “Maggie said Dreser didn’t
touch either of them, thanks to Sam, he saved their lives.” Seth
sat down next to Booker, placing a hand on his shoulder. I tried
drying my tears, but they kept coming.

“
Did she tell you about the
deal she tried to make with the foul scum?” Booker’s voice was
imbued with anger. “Tell me something, Maggie. What kind of a man
do you think my grandfather is—was?” The bitterness in his voice
was unmistakable. I had no idea what he was thinking. Why was he
angry with me?

“
Do you honestly believe he
would have gone calmly back into the house and allowed that
loathsome pig to do whatever form of torture he wanted on you?”
Seth’s eyes turned sharply to me. I was confused and had no
response to Booker’s anger. All I tried to do was keep Sam
alive.

“
He was a wonderful man, a
good man, and he didn’t deserve to die!” he shouted. “You don’t
make deals with drug dealers. They NEVER keep their word! They are
foul sick creatures who should be eliminated!”

“
Book, that’s not fair. She
tried to help.” Seth was attempting to walk the delicate balance
between comforting his friend and protecting me.

“
Fair? I’ve had to bury my
mother and my sister thanks to drugs. Now I have to bury my
grandfather, courtesy of a drug dealer. That’s not fair. When you
have to bury her,” he said, pointing angrily at me, “we’ll talk
again about what’s fair.”

Seth walked over and drew me up off
the floor. “Perhaps we should go.”

“
Perhaps your girlfriend
should learn to listen. What did I say, Maggie? Do you even
remember, or where you too busy whimpering about not seeing Seth
for a whole 24 hours?” His words ripped through my heart. “I said
DON’T LEAVE THIS HOUSE! How do you expect me to protect you if you
won’t listen?”

“
Enough!” Seth’s arm wrapped
around me, anger literally flew from his eyes; it was intimidating.
He practically dragged me out the door and into his car. Too
distraught to speak, I remained silent the entire drive
home.

I walked into his house feeling as if
the world was on my shoulders and I was about to break. “I’m really
tired, I’m going to bed, see you in the morning.” I barely kept the
tears in while running upstairs and climbing into his too-high bed.
Burying my head under a pillow, my tears were set free again.
Almost immediately, Seth’s hands guided my shoulders gently onto
his chest.

“
I was trying to help Sam.
He thought he was having a heart attack, and was afraid if we
called 911, Booker would drive like a wild man to get
home—”

“
Which is exactly what would
have happened,” Seth interjected. “And with all the rain, he could
easily have gotten into a wreck.”

I nodded. “Sam wanted me to drive him
to the hospital, it’s the only reason I left the house, I
swear.”

“
Book didn’t mean it,
Maggie, he’s hurting. I can only imagine the pain he is going
through. If I had lost you…” He didn’t finish his sentence, instead
he pulled me up tighter against him. “His past dealings with
dealers and addicts have clouded his thinking. He’s a passionate
man, and doesn’t always engage his head before he lets his heart
scream out. His tongue can be brutal sometimes,” he said with
reproach. After several more bouts of tears, I fell asleep in his
arms.

I awoke in the morning to Seth’s soft
sweet kisses on top of my head. “Good morning,” I said, smiling
weakly up at him, the happenings of yesterday still front and
center in my mind.

He smiled and looked over at the
clock, it was nearly eleven. “I have to go do Lunch Swap,” he said,
slowly pulling away. He'd already showered and dressed.

“
I’m going too.”

“
Maggie, I wish you
wouldn’t. Please let me find out if there is any new information on
the case. Hopefully, they’ve found the last Dreser.”

My stomach knotted up as I thought of
Sam again. “Okay, I’ll cook up something wonderful for lunch while
you’re gone.” I was in no mood to battle having to stay home.
Truthfully, I didn’t want to leave the security of his house. He
brushed his teeth while I occupied myself in the kitchen. I noticed
there was an agent sitting in his car out front. He yawned and
stretched his arms, which were probably stiff from sitting out
there all night.

Seth kissed me good-bye, never
mentioning a word about staying inside, no doubt, knowing Booker’s
words from yesterday still weighed heavy on my heart. The tears
began again as thoughts of Sam played through my mind. I forced
myself to stay busy, I couldn’t think about him anymore, not for a
while, it hurt too much.

Because of everything that happened
yesterday, I didn’t get a chance to visit my mom. I called the
hospital, and the nurse said that she had developed a fever, and
they were running some tests to see what was wrong. More bad
news.

I began defrosting some chicken,
though I wasn’t hungry in the least. I dug out Seth’s favorite
Spanish rice recipe, maybe I’d want to eat something if I knew he
would enjoy it. As I browned the rice, the phone rang. To my
frustration, it was a nettlesome telemarketer. I tried repeatedly
to tell him no thank you, except the man was persistent, if not a
little dense. I gave up on being polite and hung up on the guy, but
not soon enough. The forgotten rice was now burnt and the entire
kitchen was saturated in smoke.

The back door opened and the security
system began beeping. It was Booker. He came in and punched in the
code.

“
I didn’t know you were
Jewish?” He smiled weakly as he opened the kitchen
windows.

“
What?”

He looked horrible, as if
he hadn’t slept at all.
He walked over to
the stove and stirred the blackened rice. “Burnt offerings,
right?”

“
Pretty weak joke, Booker,”
I answered cautiously.

“
I’m sorry, and I’m not
referring to my truly wonderful joke.” He came over to me, gently
taking me by the shoulders. “Maggie, I didn’t mean any of those
horrible things I said. I’m just tired of the heartache caused by
drugs and these ruthless dealers.” His face was racked with
anguish, it took every ounce of my strength not to burst into
tears.

“
Cole said when they opened
up Sam’s chest in the operating room his heart was severely
damaged. He didn’t have a chance. He said Sam must have been having
small heart attacks for a while.” He wiped a tear from his cheek
and continued.

“
Knowing my grandfather, I’m
betting he asked you to drive him to the hospital.” I nodded. “He
was probably worried I’d get in an accident trying to get to him.”
He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.

“
Like I said yesterday, he
told me how you tried to save him, about the whole deal with
Dreser.” He stroked my cheek softly. “I can’t believe you’d do
that. Do you have any idea how badly he would have hurt you?” His
eyes shut again, and he dropped his forehead to mine.

“
You astound me, Maggie.
When I said I wasn’t strong enough to lose Sam, I didn’t mean you
should die for him.”

“
I know. I couldn’t get your
face out of my mind. I thought about your family all being gone
too. It’s unfair.”

“
It wouldn’t have been fair
for Seth to have to lose you either, he loves you so much. I
honestly think he would have gone insane if he did.” He held me as
we stood in the smoke filled kitchen sharing our sorrow.

“
I don’t suppose you’ve an
older sister who’s looking for an incredibly handsome man to fall
in love with?” he asked, drying his face.

“
You know an incredibly
handsome man looking to fall in love?” He groaned playfully.
“Sorry, I’m an only child.”

“
Drat.”

“
Drat? Do people still use
that word? Man, you are old.”

“
You’re real funny, Magpie.
Come on. Let’s see if we can fix this mess you are trying to pass
off as food.” I whacked him with the kitchen towel as he dumped the
rice into the sink.

I was surprised to learn Booker was
almost as good a cook as Seth. The lunch turned out pretty good
despite the whole burnt offerings episode. Seth walked in as we
finished setting the table. Book quickly crossed the room and the
two men embraced, each saying nothing, they didn’t have to. Booker
eventually broke the silence as he tried to apologize. Needless to
say, Seth wouldn’t hear of it.

“
We’ll get through this
together, like we always have.”

Two days later was the funeral, it was
heart wrenching. Sam was well known in the community, it seemed
like everyone in town was there. Because of the size of the crowd,
and since we had no idea of the whereabouts of the remaining
Dreser, Seth and Cole never left my side. It was almost comical to
observe me moving around with my “hot guy” shield. I was forbidden
to go to the bathroom and therefore didn’t dare eat or drink
anything all morning, yet somehow I still had to go. Thank heavens
Mrs. Gianchi showed up and saved me from an embarrassing
moment.

I cried so many times during the
service the skin around my eyes cracked and bled. Booker was a
wreck. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, to hold and comfort
him, but how do you comfort someone who has lost their entire
family?

Booker decided to keep the burial part
of his grandfather’s service private. Only a few of us were there
to watch them lower Sam into the ground.

After the service, we invited Booker
over to Seth's house. He declined, saying he wanted to spend a
little more time at the graveside. My mind was reeling by the time
we arrived home. Seth and I sat silently on the couch in each
other’s arms for a very long time.

“
How are you doing?” I
asked, stroking his tight brow. For the past two days he had been
so busy ’being there’ for Booker, he hadn’t taken any time to mourn
his own loss. He’d known Sam his entire life, and his death had to
be affecting him deeply.

“
I’m okay. It’s difficult to
believe he’s gone, he was such a driving force. He had more energy
than did most men did half his age. Part of me is happy for him, I
know how much he missed his wife, and I’m trying to focus on how
sweet their reunion must be. I do okay until I see Booker’s face
and the sorrow that owns it right now,” he said, his eyes filling
with tears.

I held him close and thought about how
difficult it would be for both of us to be separated by death and
hoped we would never have to experience it, though in his chosen
profession the odds weren’t in his favor. Why couldn’t he just be a
math teacher?

“
You look tired, would you
like to take a nap?” I hadn’t slept much in the past two days,
instead spending many hours at my mother’s side. Her condition was
rapidly deteriorating. When I was able to sleep, my dreams were
haunted by a dead drug dealer. I shook my head; no naps.

“
How about a bubble bath?”
he suggested. I was beginning to think
he
had a thing for bubble
baths.

“
You could kiss me, we’ve
hardly kissed since you’ve come back. You didn’t meet another woman
while you were gone did you?” I traced around the outline of his
lips with my index finger.

“
There are other women out
there?” The look on his face was one of genuine
surprise.

“
Oh, you’re good.” I kissed
his cheek. “Did you come up with that all by yourself, or is it a
line from one of your old movies?”

“
All by myself.” Seth put
his arms around my waist and drew me close. “You know, some serious
kissing would be a wonderful distraction,” he said. I continued to
nuzzle his neck, working my way up to his mouth, kissing him softly
before pulling back and looking into his eyes.

“
Bubble bath,” we both said
it at the same time. He took my hand and led me
upstairs. 

After my long hot bath, I found Seth
in the bedroom sitting on the bench seat below the bay window. His
head was leaning up against the curtains with his eyes shut. I
walked over and sat in his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck as
he broke down in my arms.

His tears finally slowed as the phone
rang. “Let the machine get it,” he said as I wiped his cheeks. “No,
wait, it might be Booker. You’d better answer it.” I reluctantly
moved to the phone.

“
Hello, Maggie,” Cole said,
his voice heavy. “I know you planned on coming to see your mom
around 7:00, but it might be a good idea if you came a little
earlier today. I'm afraid she’s not doing well.” My head nodded at
the phone and hung up without saying a word. Seth already had the
keys in his hand, and we immediately left for the
hospital.

When we got there, we
bypassed the elevator and ran straight up the stairs. Walking into
her room, there was a feeling that could only be described
as
death
.
Machines were beeping, and alarms were screeching unceasingly.
Several nurses and two doctors, one being Cole, were scrambling
around her. Some were performing CPR, others were injecting her
with drugs. I watched in horror as they gave her electric shock.
After what felt like an eternity, the alarms finally ceased and the
machines started chirping rhythmically again.