Unmarked: Sean's Story (Chosen #4) (13 page)

Chapter Twenty-One

Sean

Nick and Lizzie were waiting outside their brownstone apartment across from the Boston Commons when my truck pulled up to their building. I threw the keys at their valet boy and opened Aoife’s door. She wore a simple black dress and she looked beautiful. She had a small scarf that she used to cover up the portion of the dress that dipped a little too low into her cleavage. I wanted to rip the scarf off and nibble on her there but that would be way too slimy to do on a sidewalk outside of a brownstone in the most pretentious neighborhood in Boston proper. I still gave her the look that I wanted to.

“Me, too,” she said as I brought her down to the sidewalk. I grinned at her and she looked at me with an appreciation that we both knew that bed sounded better than going out with another couple. We were double dating. Damn. When did that happen? It felt so formal now and yeah, I guess I kind of liked the idea of her dressing up. I liked the way she helped me tuck a short sleeve, black dress shirt into my khakis. I liked that we matched. I liked that my sleeves were bold and rich when they were pretzeled in with her white milky skin. We were a fucking awesome couple and we both proudly knew it.

It appeared that Nick and Lizzie were also stunned by how we looked together as a couple. Nick had his phone out and was checking something but kept glancing up to look at Aoife. I could see he was trying to place her. She didn’t look like she did the night of their party. Lizzie’s mouth was slightly open like she wanted to say something to us but couldn’t find the words. We stepped up to them and Aoife gave a little wave to Lizzie – obviously trying to jump start some kind of a greeting.

“Nick, I am not sure if you remember Aoife from your party a few weeks back but this is my girlfriend. Thank you for that party, by the way.” I laughed. “Aoife, this is Nick Sawyer and you have met his wife, Lizzie Sawyer.”

I sounded so professional and studious that I wanted to make fun of myself. It must have worked though because while Aoife was shaking hands with Nick and laughing about something, Lizzie stared at me in wonderment.

“What?” I asked in a loud whisper.

“You have never called me by my married name. I am always Lizzie or just O’Malley. Who are you and what did you do with my best friend?”

Aoife saved me from answering Lizzie as she interrupted us.

“Lizzie, ‘tis a pleasure to see you again as well. Thank you so much for including me tonight. I have heard fantastic things about the cannolis I am going to eat tonight.” She held out her hand and Lizzie immediately grabbed it to shake it before drawing her in for a hug.

“I am a hugger!” Lizzie exclaimed as she pulled away. “And yes, the cannolis are to
fucking
die for. Babe? Are we doing a cab?” She looked at Nick who was again looking back down at his phone with a perplexed look on his face.

“Babe!” Lizzie basically barked out before Nick’s head whipped up to face us all.

“What? What’s up?” he asked, looking at each one of us.

“Nick, are we grabbing a cab or are we taking our car?” Lizzie asked again, sounding slightly annoyed. Were they…fighting? Every time I had ever seen them over the years, their hands were on each other constantly.

Now it was Aoife and I giving each other playful looks and grabbing one another as Lizzie and Nick discussed the transportation. A yellow cab pulled up to the side of the road and Nick immediately went to the back door and opened it for us. Lizzie got in, then Aoife, and then he motioned for me too.

“I don’t mind sitting up front,” I suggested to him.

He waved his hand.

“Don’t worry about it. I have to answer this one text on a band gig. If I am back there with her, she will probably throw the phone out the window,” he said laughingly, but his eye roll meant that he probably wasn’t joking around.

“I saw that,” Lizzie yelled out from the back seat. I jumped in and we all took off towards Peppi’s Fine Italian in the North End.

It never ceased to amaze me how Nick could go into any restaurant, not even give his name, and was immediately seated – even when a line was forming outside on the sidewalk. Aoife noticed and raised her eyebrows at me. Lizzie was watching me like I was a new play toy that she hadn’t quite figured out how it worked yet. I smiled at both of them, taking Aoife’s arm, and followed the typing Nick to a private and very intimate booth in the back.

I sat next to Aoife and across from Lizzie. We all picked up our menus and my hand went under the table to find Aoife’s leg was bouncing up and down. She was nervous. How had I not seen that before now? She looked like she was taking it all in stride but actions prove true feelings. The poor girl was not enjoying herself at all. I grabbed her hand and brought it up to my lips.

“You are awesome,” I said, kissing her palm softly. She went beet red and snuggled her head into the crook of my neck.

“Sean, you are too sweet to me.” She kissed my cheek and went back to calmly looking at her menu. My hand went back onto her thigh and she wasn’t shaking. I looked up when the waitress approached and Lizzie was still staring at me.

“What are you drinking tonight, O’Malley?” I asked with a wink.

“Can I get cranberry vodka?” she asked the waitress.

“I’ll take a beer,” I said and glanced at Aoife who was nodding her head. “Make it two.”

Nick looked up from his phone. “Beer is good for me, too.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Nicholas, it’s the first time out in months without the kids giving us grief and you are on that God damn phone the whole time.”

“Elizabeth…Don’t call me Nicholas,” he said with a warm smile.

“Pshhh,” she pushed an unintelligible noise out of her lips and rolled her eyes at him. She gently put her hands over his and brought the phone out of his grasp.

Whoa.

Give the man back his device, I thought, as it looked like we were about to witness a hostage situation. Even Aoife tensed at the look that Nick gave Lizzie as she threw his phone in her clutch.

“Much better. Now, Nick, why don’t you tell us how your day was since I haven’t seen you in many.” She was on fucking fire. The red headed bitch was back. I remembered this part of her. When she acted like this, her brother, Conner and I would run for the hills.

“Well, since you have decided to take a break from the studio to focus on your art, I have had lots to do today,” Nick answered with air quotes around the word art.

Even the people at the next table sucked in a breath at that. Then Lizzie went beet red and I tried to reign in my protective side. In no way was I going to defend her right now and what was is about confrontations at Italian restaurants. Did these two have actual Italian blood and pasta brought out their edge? Aoife started to giggle a little and we all looked to her with a question on our faces.

“How long have the two of ya been married now?” she asked through another half laugh.

They both answered something about ten years and she nodded with a smile. “That’s a long bloody time, yeah? Good for the both of ya. It can’t be easy every day, I imagine.”

Aoife was bloody brilliant and Lizzie knew it, too. Within a few moments, we all had our drinks and the decade old couple were sitting up against each other and laughing about something on his phone she had given back to him.

I threw my arm over Aoife’s shoulder and watched her take a swill off of her beer. “Did I tell you that not only do you look totally hot tonight but you are also my hero? When did you become a genius?” I asked, nodding to the couple on the other side of the table.

“The art of distraction, Sean. Have you not been paying attention at Kenpo?” She looked at me like I was an idiot.

Umm… Art of distraction? Shit. I am so screwed. A small smile found her lips as she realized that I hadn’t been paying attention. I was always looking at her ass in those yoga pants.

“Oh, I have been paying plenty of attention at Kenpo,” I answered in a deep throaty voice.

In that moment, we didn’t even realize we were still at the restaurant with other people around. She put her hand on my face and gave me the most adoring look. I watched her as she took in my face. I loved every moment of it. Her inspection made me feel like I was a bad ass, alpha man.

Lizzie cleared her throat and we both looked over to her to find an inquisitive look on her face. Nick was back to playing on his cell phone.

“So, you two are really a couple?” Lizzie said with a twinge of some undertone I had never heard before. Not jealousy, it couldn’t be that. Astonishment. It was mild astonishment.

“We are,” I said with a shit eating grin as I looked from her to Aoife and back to Lizzie.

The meals we had ordered only minutes before were placed in front of us by the waitress with finesse.  Nick looked up and nodded his head. What a jack ass. We all started to dig in.

Except for Lizzie.

I raised my eyebrows at her while I took a bite of my manicotti. Aoife noticed but she continued to look down at her plate. Something was either about to happen or this was an impasse that Lizzie was debating and she should keep her fucking mouth closed.

“Aoife, how long are you going to be in Boston?”

There it was
.

I dropped my fork, rather loudly, and threw my head back against the booth. Aoife’s hand immediately found mine and she squeezed it pretty hard.

“I leave back to Ireland at the beginning of August,” she answered. There was dread there. Like I knew before she answered, the final resolve was implied in her tone of voice. She didn’t
want
to go back. She was in love with me. She wanted me as much as I wanted her.

“That will be tough on Sean when you go,” Lizzie stated, taking a drink off her little straw.

“Lizzie,” Nick said in a calming voice. She looked over at him and he gave a slight shake of his head. We all knew she was just thinking about the summer she fell in love with a man from Ireland. We were all thinking about how he left and would never to be seen again. We all knew that it was the best damn thing that could have happened to her because she did find Nick. She did have a wonderful life but the pain from that summer never left. I saw it in her eyes when I looked into them. It was probably less acute but seeing Aoife and I together had to be bringing up some shit from her past.

No matter what happens to get to where you are – a deep love like the one she had had for Teagan does destroy a little bit of the innocent person you were before. Lessons learned, stronger for it and all that bull shit does not erase the terrible agony of losing someone. If we could all go back and start innocent again, no one would have to doubt the motives of people.

“I will be equally as heart broken when I return,” Aoife answered. Her voice was choked and not nearly as strong as it had been the entire day. Even in the shower, as I massaged her, exposed and totally vulnerable, she had a laughing and strong vocal demeanor. Now, she was withering.

“Lizzie, that is something that Aoife and I will deal with together and privately when it happens,” I confirmed stonily as I nearly shot daggers at her. She didn’t back down though.

What was with her tonight? Fire. She was on fucking fire. I heard Nick mumble something, put his phone away, and then start in on his chicken.

“What will there be to deal with? Do you plan to go see her? Will she come back?” As irritating as she was, these were questions I wanted to know. Did Aoife want me to visit? Would she miss me so much that she would come back?

“I hope that Sean and I will stay together but my family is in Ireland. I am very devoted to my family. One family member, especially.” Aoife said a bit stronger now.

I nearly choked on my next bite. She had to be kidding me. Her father? The bastard that left marks all over her body? Loyal to
him
? The guy who drank himself into who knows what kind of trouble? The same guy who expected her to pay for his living arrangements? She couldn’t be serious.

Lizzie pursed her lips together and gave her one nod as she absently looked down at her plate of ziti. She picked up the fork and began to eat. She had heard the same speech so many summers ago. Family. Family always came first. Not love. Love wasn’t strong enough. It didn’t match the loyalty. Loyalty beat out love hands down.

It was in that moment that I got it. It was what Lizzie was hoping for. Sure, love is grand. It is fun and fuck, it’s love. But it had nothing on tradition and dedication and rules. She could never be mine. She would never be mine. She didn’t want to be mine because if she truly did, she would choose me. She would, at the very least, ask me to visit. She would offer up a little piece of hope to hold onto for a future together.

Silence was in between all of us. It was in the forks, the glasses, the napkins. Silence was an ice block that had literally dropped on our table after Aoife confirmed her plans. It was cold and so fucking uncomfortable.

“I need a smoke,” I finally said as I threw down my napkin and got up. No one said a word but I did hear Aoife let out a slow breath. No one followed me and thank God for that. My night was officially ruined and I wasn’t pleased about the turn of events. I was beyond wounded.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Sean

I didn’t even go back into the restaurant. I smoked like five Reds as I waited for the other three to come out. I watched people run across streets, kids messing around with a basketball, and couples holding hands as they enjoyed their date night out. I had one date night out. It turned into watching other people have date nights.

The ridiculous idea that I was like everyone else and I deserved a long lasting intimate relationship with another woman was shoved into my face once again and to boot – it was at the mouth of Lizzie O’Malley herself. She would claim that I needed to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. I would tell her the bigger picture was so God damn boring that it made me want to drool. Sean Ford – grew up with mom, apprenticed with a tattoo artist in Newburyport, Massachusetts, fell in love, got heartbroken, dated a few women, became owner of a tattoo The Ink Shop, fell in love again, got heartbroken again, and decided to live to work until the day I died.

Aoife’s sleep talking dream came back to me. She wanted us forever. She screamed it. She was having a major battle with herself and I was fucking frustrated.

If I told her that I wanted to live in the moment that could be far more interesting. What if we didn’t get cannolis that night? What if I took the girl that I loved back to
our
apartment and made love to every inch of her body? She would tell me she loved me, kiss my lips softly, and we would fall asleep entangled in one another. That was my story. That was what I wanted to hear. Only that.

The three of them eventually made their way out of the restaurant. Aoife ran up to me and handed me a to-go bag. She smiled quickly and nodded to the bag.

“You didn’t finish,” she stated. I wanted to throttle her. Really, Aoife? I didn’t finish? How about you? Will you finish?

I nodded and took the bag. We followed Nick and Lizzie to the corner.

“Cannoli time,” Lizzie beamed. She fucking beamed as she rubbed her palms together fast.

“Yeah,” I said, scratching the back of my neck in a way to sound somewhat sorry. “I can’t go. I got a call from The Ink Shop just now. One of the smokes called in so I am going to head up and take his clients for the rest of the night.”

And I would. I would walk into The Ink Shop around eleven and growl at any smoke that didn’t let me have their appointment. I needed to hear the machine and got lost in art. I needed death metal love songs and the beat of my heart as I made the music part of my ink session. There really wasn’t any better escape.

“What?” Lizzie basically yelled so loud that we all jumped. “Don’t you dare fucking lie to us, Sean. You are going to have cannolis and stay in Boston with your girl.”

Was she on drugs? She just basically told me to sell my stock in Aoife before it plummeted and I went broke. Now she wanted me to go all in?

I shook my head, slightly out of confusion, and partially because I was annoyed. I risked a glance to Aoife whose face was turned away from the entire conversation. She quickly put her hand up to her face, removing something, and then went back to hugging herself around her waist. She was just as wounded as me.

“This was a really bad idea,” I said to no one in particular. I had to say it. It was the truth. There was no way we could all pretend that everything was just peachy and move on to the cake. My excuse to go to The Ink Shop seemed disingenuous but it was far better than the alternative of staying here and playing games.

Was it me or did everybody feel like we were being caved in to a smaller circle by other tourists? Not to mention that everyone that passed by us, noting the tension, kept their eyes fixed on my stern look and the girl’s somewhat fearful ones. Aoife changed her stance and stood off to the side and I could tell she was beginning to cry. Lizzie and Nick kept looking at each other for something to either say or do to make this awful situation any less uncomfortable.  They didn't know what to do and the really fucked up part was that none of this would have even gone down if Lizzie had kept her trap shut.

I took the initiative and hailed a cab down. I opened the back door and let Aoife get in. She was a little thing, hiding into herself even more. It looked like she almost expected me to lash out at her. Then I looked at Lizzie. I didn’t know what to feel at that point. Sure, she was my friend, but was this line of questioning her true agenda when she asked us out to dinner in the first place? I rolled my eyes at that idea while she gaped at me.  She must have thought I was rolling my eyes at Aoife. She was so wrong. How could someone I thought was absolutely flawless for so many years become a raging bitch in a blink of an eye?

Lizzie tired me out just thinking about her questions and her innuendos about my relationship to Aoife.  Nick immediately went to the front door of the cab and got in. Lucky bastard. I planned on taking that seat so I didn’t have to sit next to the crux of this problematic evening. I slammed the door behind me and let out a huge exhale, praying that no one would say a damn word the entire way back to Boston Commons. I wanted my truck, my girl, and our bed. I would pretend nothing happened, unless of course, she wanted to talk about it.

“Are you guys going to stay and have dessert with us at our place?" Lizzie asked, trying to sound upbeat.

"No, "Aoife and I blurted out at the same exact time. We looked up to each other at the same moment, as well. She wanted to talk. She wanted to run. She didn’t want to be around people. Fuck. I don’t know what look crossed over her face but it wasn't favorable. Had she given up? Had I looked like I had given up? Did we both want to give each other up?

Either way, we had something to talk about and it wasn't going to happen outside of Nick and Lizzie’s place. The valet kid went to grab my truck. I offered Lizzie a quick hug and shook Nick’s hand. Aoife just waved a little goodbye to both of them and said thank you for dinner. I had forgotten that they probably paid for dinner I shook my head as I got into the truck and thought I would call tomorrow and tell Nick that I really appreciate them taking us out.

I didn't appreciate them taking us out. It was one of the worst nights I’d ever experienced. Even the night that Aoife showed me her scars was so much more awesome than it was tonight and all because of Lizzie. Lizzie had to go and open her big, fat fucking mouth and tell us her feelings about what had happened to her – not to me
–
so many years ago.

Wasn't Nick pissed about that? I looked over at Aoife who is just staring out the window not even trying to grab my hand or say anything to me.

"Hey," I said softly.

She looked over at me and I saw the tears swimming in her eyes.

"Hey," I said a little louder and motioned for her to come closer to me.

"I'm so sorry, Sean," Aoife said quietly as she finally moved a little closer. We took each other’s hand and I gently stroked her fingers with my thumb.

"I know. Me, too."

We both walked into her apartment and we didn't say anything. Aoife turned toward the bathroom and I sat down on the folding chair in the kitchen. Minutes passed and I knew she wasn’t just using the bathroom for normal reasons. I walked up to the door and listened for a while. I got angry. I got fucking pissed. I put both of my arms on the door frame.

"You can run and hide but you will want to come back to me. If I knew you liked to play games, I wouldn't have given us a second thought when we met, Aoife. It's you and me talking or I walk."

I heard a rough sob come from the other side of the door and I sighed. She had thirty minutes to get her shit together and then I was bolting. I was exhausted from this rollercoaster of women coming and going. I went and sat back down in the kitchen and watched the bathroom door and the clock simultaneously.

Aoife walked out of the bathroom thirteen minutes later and her face was beyond tear stricken. She looked like she had been crying for days. I looked up to her and gave her a sad smile. I wanted her to know I wasn’t pissed at her, per se. I was disappointed in the evening.
There wasn’t any other way to describe it. We went from having a couples date to trying to figure out life’s answers within hours. It was fucking dumb.

"Are you going to go to The Ink Shop?" She asked inquisitively.

I shook my head.

"No," I said sternly. “I think we need to talk. I don't know what all that was about tonight. I miss you already and you haven't even gone. "

"I feel the exact same way, Sean," Aoife said as she took a seat.

"But you haven't left yet,” I concluded. She nodded her head and her eyes lit up a little. I wanted to smile at that hope but I couldn’t get out of the funk that killed our joy tonight.

We sat there in silence for a few moments – staring at one another – almost looking for the answers we wanted, we needed, we had to have.  Then we abruptly got to our feet, reaching for one another. Folding chairs fell to the floor as we hugged each other with reverence, sorrow, and hope. It was passionate. We hugged each other so hard that it almost hurt physically. However, if that hug could cure the predicament we had found ourselves in, we wouldn’t go one day without one another for the rest of our lives.

I wouldn't want to ever let her go. I wanted her to stay with me forever and I try to tell her that in our hug. I needed her to know that if it were up to me, I would be with her forever. I wanted her to be mine. Only. Her. She was the only one in my eyes, in my mind, and in my being.

*****

By Monday, Aoife and I were well on our way to becoming hermits. We didn’t see or talk to anyone but each other and the delivery people. We spent every second from the moment we hugged to the alarm blaring us awake in bed on Monday morning, naked as the day we were born. She was fucking unbelievable. She initiated sex more than I did and I was either inside of her or connected to her in some way throughout the two days. I don’t remember how many orgasms I had just Saturday night alone but my body this morning was feeling it. Both days were amazing but certainly Saturday was the night we went hard core at each other. I was so sore that I questioned how she could possibly feel.

“Good morning, Irish,” I snuggled into her neck and smiled.

“No, I don’t want to go to work,” she whined. I laughed hollowly because I didn’t want her to go either. I wanted her all to myself, for my whole summer, my whole life
–
just her and me and this bed.

“Call in sick,” I whispered into her ear and I saw a large grin grace her face. Jesus. How could this woman not be only mine forever? We fit. We were two of the same and I knew that she felt it, too.

“I want to,” she admitted. She let out a long exhale and curled her body into my chest. She was so warm and together we started breathing a little heavier.

“Good, call in sick, and let’s go get married,” I growled into her ear.

Oh. My. God. I just proposed. We both went still. She turned her stunned eyes up to look at me and I must have looked equally as shocked because she started laughing so loudly. I had never seen her laugh that hard.

“Shit,” I blew out as I rolled on to my back. “It just came out. I mean, that’s what I want. I want you. I don’t want you to go to work today or tomorrow. I don’t want you to go home to Ireland. Just stay. Stay with me.”

“I so very much want to. I mean I want to stay home today and I will ring my boss,” she said as she looked up to my eyes. She placed her palm on the side of my unshaven face.

“Sean,” she started with a bit of an argument in her tone. “I want to stay with you in America but I can’t. Please don’t ask me again. It is just as hard to tell you that. Probably more hard than it is for you to hear. I promise as soon as something happens and we get a place, you can come to see me.”

Her eyes begged me. Fucking begged me. It was apparent that she and I would be equally sad and it threw me. I had been so selfish. She would hurt, too.

That understanding somehow made me feel a shitload better. I must have been a fucking jack off because now that I knew she didn’t want anyone but me – I could somehow breathe again. Jesus. Love was serious bull shit on a dandelion filled, green meadow.