Unspeakable (29 page)

“Tell me how you really feel,” I muttered, scooting back on the seat.

“And I’m not okay with it, Willow. I’m not okay with just standing by and being your friend while you date an idiot like him. I don’t want to sneak around and see you just at midnight for a couple of hours. I’m greedy. I want all of you. I don’t share well.”

“What are you saying?” My heart beat doubled and my hands shook.

Is he going to make me choose between him and Jaden? Don’t make me choose. Please, please, don’t.

“Dump him and be with me. I’m not perfect, but I’m a lot closer than Jaden is, at least for you. You have to know that.”

“Or?” I whispered.

“There is no
or
. I won’t stand around and watch you self-destruct because of him.”

“You want me to choose between you?” I said slowly, looking in his eyes.

“I don’t want you to do anything tonight other than think. But tomorrow, yes, I want you to make a choice.” His eyes held me captive and his words fell like bricks between us.

I just stared at him. I’m not sure how long. Then I turned and opened the door and got out of the Jeep, leaning my back against the door. I didn’t even notice the rain hitting me. I just stood there, his words ringing in my ears.

He’s making me choose. My choice is him. Brody will always be my choice. But Jaden will tell. He’ll make our lives a living Hell. He’ll tell everyone what he knows. I can’t risk that…can I? Would Brody still want me if he knew?

“Willow,” Brody stood in front of me. “Get in the car. You’re freezing.”

I climbed into the Jeep when he opened the door. We drove to my house, neither of us speaking. It was the first time I felt uncomfortable with Brody. The first time I didn’t want to be with him. I just wanted to get home and climb into bed.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” he said when he pulled up to my house.

I nodded and slipped out of the Jeep.

Friday. It was a home game. I used to sit with Jenna, Tim, and a handful of other friends. But that was before Jaden’s new
rules
. Under the new rules designed to keep me
‘in line,’
he expected me to sit behind the players’ bench. But I’d decided that it would end that night.

The night before Brody had asked me to make a choice. I’d been up most of the night thinking. When I got up that morning, I intended to ask Brody for more time, but he deserved an answer. So instead of asking, I texted him and asked him to meet me at the football game that night. I’d tell him my choice then.

That morning, I got up early and took extra time with my hair and makeup. I wore my black jeans and a red, scoop-neck sweater. I picked red for a reason, and I hoped Brody would catch the hint. Pulling on my black boots, I grabbed my keys. After a quick trip to Starbucks—I was going to need as much caffeine as I could get—I drove to school.

“Two days wearing normal clothing. What’s the occasion?” Jenna asked when she saw me. I handed her a caramel macchiato. “Thanks. I so need this.”

“I can’t tell you now, but something big is going down today,” I whispered.

She grabbed my arm. “What’s going on?”

I looked down the hall, saw Jaden walking toward us, and barely shook my head. She looked over her shoulder at Jaden, let her hand drop from my arm, and turned to get her books out of her locker.

“I’ll see you in history.”

“See ya,” I called after her.

“Are you done with that?” Jaden asked, nodding toward my macchiato.

“Nope.”

“Then you’re throwing it out when we get to your class.”

I shrugged and slammed my locker shut, walking away from him. He caught up with me and grabbed my hand. We walked to my class. I stopped outside the door and leaned against the wall, drinking my Starbucks.

“Toss it and go sit down,” Jaden said.

“No.”

“What you mean ‘
no’
?”

“Did I stutter? I said ‘
no
.
’
I’m finishing my drink. If you don’t like it, go to your own class,” I said, my voice rising with each word.

“I told you, I’m not standing out here while you drink your freakin’ Starbucks.”

“Then don’t. You have two feet. Use them to walk away and piss someone else off.”

He grabbed my arm and started to pull me into the classroom. I flipped the lid off my drink with my thumb, aiming it at him. When he jerked me forward, the macchiato sloshed down the front of his shirt.

“Shit!” He jumped back and held his arms out to the sides, gaping at the coffee stain.

“Oops. I guess you shouldn’t jerk my arm while I’m holding a Starbucks in my hand.”

“That’s hot, Willow.”

“What do you want me to do about it? You were the one pulling on me!” I yelled.

“Look at my shirt!” he shouted.

“Yeah. Hmm. That’s probably gonna stain.”

“We’ll take this up later.” He stalked off.

“Doubtful,” I called after him and walked into class, dumping what was left of my drink in the trash.

I glanced at Brody. One side of his mouth tipped up in his signature, amused grin. “Nice sweater. I like the color,” he commented.

“I thought you would.” I sat down and looked to the front of the class.

The rest of the day went by smoothly, even though Jaden gave me the cold shoulder because of his ruined shirt. I chatted and followed him from class to class as if nothing was wrong.

That afternoon, after the last bell, Jaden followed me to my locker. “Do you need a ride to the game?”

“I don’t know why you ask me that every week. I have my own car,” I snapped.

“Watch the damn attitude. Just making sure.” He stared at me.

“I’m going to give Jenna a ride tonight. Just wanted you to know before the game so you wouldn’t think anything was going on. Her car’s been acting weird. Her dad is dropping it off at the mechanic’s this afternoon, so she won’t have it for the game tonight.” I lied.

“No. She can find a ride with someone else.”

“I’ve already told her I’d give her a ride. I’m not going to tell her no after I’ve already said yes. It’s one week, Jaden. Surely you can trust me with Jenna long enough to drive to the school and back home again.”

“Forget it. I’m picking you up for the game. She can find her own way.”

“No! I’m not coming up here three hours before the freakin’ game starts.” I yelled. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Brody and Jenna walk by. “I’m driving myself, and Jenna is riding with me.”

“Like hell you are,” he said through clenched teeth.

I leaned in close to him. He was so much taller than I was that I had to almost look straight up to see his face. I pointed my finger, poking him once in the chest. “Watch me.”

Jaden grabbed my finger, twisting it around. I bit my lip to keep from crying out. Brody took a step forward. I shook my head. Jenna grabbed his arm and held him back.

“I’m pretty sure if you break my finger on school property, you won’t be playing ball tonight.” I winced when he pushed my finger back a litter further.

“You better be at the game tonight, and Jenna better be the only one in your car.” He let go of my finger and shouldered past me, knocking me into the lockers.

“You’re not walking me to my car today, honey?” I called after him. He gave me the finger over his shoulder. “I’ll take that as a no.”

“Don’t provoke him like that, Willow.” Jenna came over, grabbed my hand, and looked at my finger. “You know what he can do.” She looked in my eyes. “We all do.”

I shrugged a shoulder. “I’ll be fine.” Trying to give her a confident smile, I failed. I could see it in her eyes.

I tried to take my mind off the game that night. I cooked dinner listening to my iPod, singing along with the songs. I did homework. I cleaned my room. But nothing worked. I spent most of the afternoon pacing my bedroom, wringing my fingers. I twisted them so hard my knuckles cracked.

Finally, the first text came through.

Jenna: Are you really picking me up?

Me: No. I’ll see you there.

Jenna: Ok. You’re acting weird.

Me: What’s new?

Jenna: True.

I paced some more, redid my hair and make-up and checked my outfit in the mirror twenty times. I didn’t consider myself particularly beautiful. I wasn’t completely unfortunate looking, but stunning? No. But that night, I was getting as close as I could.

Time for the next text. And it was the biggie. I took a breath and picked up my phone. My hands shook so badly I had to start over twice.

Me: Can you give me a ride?

There wasn’t an answer right away. It took three minutes. I know—I watched the clock. My heart thudded in my chest, and my breathing was shallow as I waited.

What if the answer is no? It’ll kill me.

Brody: Yes.

Me: Be here in ten?

Brody: I’ll be there.

I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I’d been holding. My whole insides shook. I was excited and terrified at the same time.

Brody pulled up exactly ten minutes later. I ran out the door before he could come to the house. My mom would never let me leave with him. She didn’t know I planned to break up with Jaden, and she wasn’t going to be happy about it.

Brody got out of the Jeep and held the passenger door open for me. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured as I slipped by him.

I smiled, feeling my cheeks heat with a blush.

“And you’re adorable when you blush.” He grinned. He ran his finger down the side of my face, sending a wave of tingles over my skin. I turned my head, kissing his hand.

Brody cleared his throat, rubbed his thumb over my cheek one last time, and shut the door. I watched him walk around the Jeep, swinging his keys around his finger, a finger on the other hand hooked around a belt loop on his jeans, which were riding just low enough on his hips to send any girl into heart palpitations. Smexy. Smart and sexy. That was Brody Victor. Sex personified. And he was mine. I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face.

He’s mine. Holy freakin’ shiznit.

“What’s that grin for?” he asked when he got in the Jeep.

“Just happy.”

“Yeah? I guess I don’t need to ask this, but I want to hear you say it. You’ve made a choice?”

“You’re my choice, Brody. Always have been.”

He nodded once, and a small grin touched his lips. “That’s what I hoped to hear. So, I guess this is our big coming out of the closet, so to speak.”

“Yup,” I said, rubbing my hands down my thighs.

He watched the movement. “Any idea what you’re going to do?”

“Not a clue.” I gave a nervous laugh.

“Well, it’s always good to have a plan,” Brody teased and put the Jeep in gear.

It was official. Brody knew my choice was him. Now, it was time to tell Jaden.

Holy hell. What have I done?

Breathe. Just breathe. I can do this. I just have to breathe.

We arrived at the football game a half hour before it was set to begin. Jenna and Tim were already there. Their expressions were priceless when they saw Brody and me walk to the bleachers and sit next to them, holding hands.