Until the End of the World (Book 2): And After (17 page)

I shiver doubly at the thought. Not only is Vermont cold enough for me, but it would also mean we’d lost the farm. I’m comforted by the fact that Kingdom Come will continue to keep people safe, like Adrian wanted. And I like that he’s near, even if I haven’t gone back to the orchard.

“Alaska can take us in?” Zeke asks.

“They say the more the merrier. Good group of folks, it seems. Not a lot of Lexers to speak of so far this spring. They think the bitter cold might’ve killed even more of them than it did here. They still have to deal with stragglers from Fairbanks and Anchorage, but they don’t think many will make it over the mountains from the south.”

“Not like us,” Peter says.

We’ve had a daily average of thirty Lexers at the fence. Not enough to worry about, but enough to keep us on our toes. Enough that I have an excuse to stay at the fence and blow off things like art class and breakfast shift, where Mikayla’s sympathetic glances make me want to throw a pot at her.

“Then what would we do?” Ana leans back, boots on the table, and purses her lips. “It’d be boring.”

“Boring is good,” Peter says. “Boring is what we want.”

Ana throws a wink my way. She keeps me busy with weapons practice and guard. She’s tireless and brusque, two qualities that used to drive me crazy, but I now find them appealing. She doesn’t coddle me, and she doesn’t judge. I pretend I don’t see Peter’s frown when I fail to hide my smile.

***

Nelly and Adam have set up house in one of the barrack rooms. I gave Nelly a framed photograph that I found in Adrian’s things. Adrian, Nelly and I are sitting on a boulder, arms around each other, sweaty from a hike. None of us looks particularly well-groomed, but our smiles are so genuine that it’s always been one of my favorites. I took a picture of it with the phone so I’d have it, too.

Nelly holds out his arms. “How is it possible that I’m going to miss someone I hate so much?”

“I hate you, too,” I say into his shoulder. “A lot.”

Nelly’s always taken care of me, even if it’s by bossing me around and making fun of me until I’m on the straight and narrow. I know he’s here, but it almost feels like he’s gone forever. I give him one last squeeze and turn to Adam. “Take care of him. He gets too full of himself and needs someone to cut him down to size.”

“Believe me,” Adam says with a grin, “I know.”

I don’t trust myself to speak again, so I wave and walk to our trucks. Henry and Hank are coming to Kingdom Come and have thrown their few possessions in the back. Hank practically shoves his father into the truck in his excitement, and I don’t feel as alone as I did a moment ago.

I pull the sleeve of Zeke’s black t-shirt. “Get some rest, Zekey.”

“Lord knows I’m trying. You too, sugar,” he says. “We could go on vacation with the luggage under our eyes.”

“Zeke! Are you implying that I look like shit?”

“Never, my dear. I’d elect you Miss Safe Zone if I could.”

I can’t stand to see him so serious, so I’m pleased to get one of his big laughs when I throw a pretend baton in the air. I blow him a kiss and jump in next to Hank.

I flip over the dark earth with my trowel, lower a tomato plant into the hole and pat the dirt back around it. Bits works next to me, just like last summer. And, also like last summer, we’re both barefoot. I soak in the warmth of the sun now that the early morning clouds have burned off.

“So maybe they have special powers,” Hank says to Bits, paying no attention to where his trowel ineffectively jabs at the soil. “Like the girl can shoot bolts of lightning out of her hands.”

“No,” Bits says. “They’re like us, but better. Maybe she’s a ninja, like Ana.”

I laugh. Bits and Hank have become fast friends, as though they’d been looking for each other all their lives. They’re collaborating on a comic book about two kids who single-handedly save the world from zombies. I thought it might frighten Bits more, but imagining herself as a zombie killer seems to have had the opposite effect.

“How about they live forever, like zombies, only they’re still alive?” Hank takes off his glasses and rubs them with his shirt. “Maybe they took the antidote. Or the reverse virus or something?”

Bits gives him a hug, leaving him flustered. He may have grown up a lot, but he’s still the socially awkward boy I love. “Yes!” she yells. “That’s totally what they should be! And maybe the first scene is where they find the vials in a secret research lab.”

Hank drops his trowel altogether and says, “Yeah!”

It’s hard not to think of Adrian as we follow his directions on where to plant. I love growing things, but he loved it so much more. I swipe at the one tear I can’t contain and dig a hole for the next plant. By plant number three the lump in my throat is gone.

“How’s it going?” We look up to see Dan standing over us. “Bits, I think you forgot your shoes.”

“We don’t wear shoes when it’s hot,” Bits replies, and points to my feet. “Our feet need to run free.”

“Those are some dirty, free feet.”

“Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it,” I say. “We may be filthy, but we can wiggle our toes whenever we want. Unlike you, all trapped inside your boots.”

“Well, now I have to try it.” Dan bends down to strip off his heavy black boots and socks, and then moves his toes in the dirt. “You’re right.”

“See?” Bits says.

She swipes at him with her black toes. Dan catches her foot and tickles until she’s lying in the dirt gasping for breath. I can’t help but laugh at the belly laugh that erupts when she’s tickled, but I shake my head at Dan. “Feet are easy to clean. Dirt in the hair—not so much.”

“Do it again!” Bits says. “Please, Dan!”

He kneels to brush off her hair and points his thumb my way. “I would, but I don’t want to get in any more trouble than I’m already in.”

I smile and move to the next row. Bits and Hank run their latest comic storyline by Dan, who shows so much interest that they end up in a circle discussing the finer points of Lexer slaughter. It looks like I’m the only one in our assigned rows who’s going to do any work today. I don’t mind, but I’ve already decided not to come back tomorrow. This lends itself to too much thought.

Dan’s feet appear in my row. “Want help?”

“Sure.” I show him what to do, and we finish the last row in record time, starting on opposite ends and meeting in the middle. We strip off our gloves and sit on the dirt.

“Thanks,” I say.

He waves at the green that surrounds us. “Well, I should probably help to plant since I’m planning to eat. I like it.”

“And the tomato plants smell so good. Rub a leaf and smell your hand. I wish I could bottle that smell and wear it.”

“They do smell good.” Dan leans forward. “And you
are
wearing some. Or some dirt, at least.”

He rubs his finger across my cheekbone. It’s more a friendly gesture than anything else, but I want to be touched so badly that I can’t breathe. I want to lean into his hand and close my eyes. I want him to be Adrian.

I bolt to my feet, cheek tingling and stomach queasy. “Yeah, I guess I really need a shower. Thanks for helping.”

Dan looks a bit startled by my abrupt departure, but he shrugs. “Sure thing.”

I grab my boots at the end of the row but don’t head for the showers. The wrinkled petals of the apple trees are soft under my feet as I walk to Adrian’s grave. Someone’s put wildflowers on the rock that marks his mound of dirt. I should have been doing that, I guess. I slump against his tree and let two weeks’ worth of tears go.

I’m driving because I want to live to see another day, sort of. Ana sits in the passenger seat of the VW bus and rests her boots on the dash. “I wish we could play some music.”

“Why don’t you see what’s on the radio?” I ask.

“Ha ha. You know what I mean.”

I keep my eyes on the dirt road that takes us up the mountain to the lookout. “No music. We can’t hear anything with music.”

“I know. Fine. Did you see how my tomato plants are the biggest?” She hasn’t shut up about her plants since we got them in the ground a week ago.

“Yes, Ana. For the thousandth time, your plants are the biggest. Maybe you’ll win a blue ribbon at the state fair this year.”

“Look who’s Miss Cranky today. Geez.”

I glance at her. She’s raised her hands stick ‘em up-style. “Sorry,” I say.

“No, it’s fine. I like my women feisty.”

My laugh is drowned out by the song she starts to sing. This is not a good thing, and not because of zombies. Ana is tone-deaf, unlike Penny, who sings like an angel.

“Stop!” I yell. “You’re killing me.”

She raises her volume. It’s a Top 40 song that almost makes the apocalypse welcome, since I thought I’d never have to hear it again. I whack her on the head, and the last howled note hangs in the air as I pull into the driveway and park at the abandoned house. We wait in silence, but nothing appears.

I follow Ana up the steep trail. It’s five hundred feet to the top of the mountain, and though I might be in good shape, keeping up with her makes me winded. The trail opens to a clearing dotted with stumps, which has been enlarged with chainsaws and axes to afford a view of much of the south of the farm.

Ana hands me binoculars and raises hers to her eyes. “Penny’s on me about you.”

“What?” I ask, and turn to where she continues scanning the terrain.

“She thinks you’re all messed up and doesn’t like for you to be doing guard so much.”

“Messed up?”

“Yeah, she said something about the stages of grief—that you’re not doing them right. I don’t know.” She shrugs. “You know I never listen to my sister. She said I needed to stop encouraging you.”

I’m speechless and can’t see a thing through the binoculars with the way my hands tremble. I would kill Penny if she were in front of me right now. She’s got indoor plumbing, a baby and James. She has no idea what this is like.

I scan the quarry. The man who owned it had high hopes when he started mining, according to Adrian, but it never produced large amounts of granite, and eventually he gave up. The road that separates the three lakes is wide enough for one vehicle, although I think it must have been wider in the past. The fences have long been torn down by people seeking respite from a hot summer’s day. Lexers bob in the water. I can’t tell if they’re finally dead, since none of them are doing the backstroke. I see a Lexer moving across a field, and another standing by a farmhouse, but there’s nothing else interesting. I hold my binoculars by the strap and stare at a tree stump.

“All clear,” Ana says. She drops her glasses and notices my slumped shoulders. “Hey, don’t worry about Penny. You know she wants everything to make sense. She probably read a book about it. I say that if you want to be out here, you should be out here.”

I start down the path, wondering if everyone thinks that I’m doing this wrong. I know Bits does. She wants to be held all night. She wants the Cassie who was fun. I can only keep it up for so long before I need to escape. I thought I was doing okay, better than when my parents died, at least. I start the bus and drive down the hill at a snail’s pace because I don’t want to go back to the farm. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m failing everybody.

“Lexers at eleven o’clock,” Ana says at the bottom of the hill.

There are five of them heading up the road. They’ll probably be at the farm by this afternoon or evening. They’ll scare Bits. We’ll kill them and then have to drag their bodies far away to lessen the stench. We could nip the whole thing in the bud right now.

I hit the brakes and my chest flutters in anticipation. “Want to take them?”

Ana drops her feet to the floor with a laugh. “Really?”

I lift my cleaver and swing open my door. Ana races around the side of the bus and calls, “Hey guys, where you goin’?”

They turn. I think they were four men and a woman; it’s hard to tell sometimes, especially when they’re almost skeletons like a couple of these. I steady my cleaver. I have two guns and Adrian’s knife as well, so I’m not worried. One heads for me, thinking he’s going to get dinner, but he’s dead wrong. I take three big strides and the flat blade hits his neck with a crunch. His moans are cut off with his head. Some of them are easier to kill than they were last year, as if their muscles and bones have weakened from cold or time. I turn to the one who’s just laid a hand on my shoulder and shove him back. I saw him coming and knew I had time. I banish the thought that I might not have cared that much and push the spike into the soft spot under his chin. Ana’s finished two, and the last one stands in the center of the road, blinded by the moss that’s grown over her eyes.

“You want it?” she asks.

She grunts and makes a beeline for Ana, but I call, “Yeah, sure, I’ll take it. Over here, lady!” It turns for me, arms outstretched movie mummy-style, and walks eye-first into my spike.

“Nice,” Ana says. She wipes her cleaver in the greenery and then stares at me. “What was that about?”

I clean my glove with an antibacterial wipe we keep on hand for this purpose and throw my cleaver on the tarp in the back of the bus. “Like you said, I want to be out here. You want to look for some more?”

Ana hangs her arm out the window like we’re two girls on a road trip. “You know I do.”

The next group is a bit past the turn to Kingdom Come’s first gate, heading up the north road toward the noise of the machinery outside the gates. Ben has us getting in a few more acres of crops because of the food shortage, and they’re digging the trench that will surround all of Kingdom Come. They’ll have to stop work to take care of the Lexers. We might as well do it for them.

“Think we can take eleven?” I ask, but I’ve already put the bus in park.

“We can from the roof.”

We sit on the roof and call to them. They continue staggering up the road. I sit cross-legged near the edge and whistle, to no avail.

“Maybe they want you to sing for them,” I say to Ana.

She belts out another horrible song, made even worse by her snorts of laughter as they close in. The van rocks when they hit, but we’re safe up here. A woman flattens herself against the bus and growls, her gaping lips a mass of cracks and her tongue black. My spike hits her uvula with a satisfying crunch.