Until the End of the World (Book 2): And After (18 page)

Ana’s brought two machetes from the weapons in the bus. I puncture one head, then another. It’s almost too easy. We enjoy the lack of guttural moans and listen to the warm breeze rustle the leaves and the steady drone of the tractor. The fury that follows me all day, every day, has abated for now. It lies on the ground with the bodies, but I know it’ll follow me home.

“Ana,” I say. “Thank you for taking care of—I couldn’t.”

She wraps her arms around her knees and catches her lip in her teeth. “I didn’t want you to. I thought it would make things worse. Look at Caleb.”

I watch the Lexers on the ground and say what I’ve been thinking. “I should have done it. You would’ve, if it’d been you.”

“I don’t know,” Ana says. She scoots closer so that her knees touch my shoulder. “I’ve thought about it, and I don’t think I would. You’d do it for me.”

I think about having to kill Peter or another one of my friends. It’s almost as bad as Adrian, but I’d do it so she wouldn’t have to. “I would.”

“I know. And promise you’ll kill me if I don’t have time to do it myself. Don’t let Peter. You do it—you’ll get me in one shot.”

“Yeah, right,” I say. “Like that’d ever happen.”

This is the kind of thing Ana jokes about, but the humorless look on her face tells me she’s not this time. “Promise me.”

“Fine. I Promise.”

She nods and stretches out. I do the same, and we lie in silence until the radio in the van crackles. I slide down and peel off a glove.

It’s Mike, at the first gate. “Ana, Cassie, check in.”

“We’re on our way, Mike. All clear.”

“Okay.”

We pull through the gate Shelby’s opened a few minutes later. Mike finishes scribbling in his ever-present notebook—he was a writer in his past life—leans in the bus and pulls his head back out in disgust. “You ran into Lexers? I can smell it out here.”

I’m not good at lying, but Ana jumps in. “A couple on the road to the lookout.”

“Really? There are never any up there.”

Ana shrugs. “Well, they were making their way up, and we didn’t want to be caught out.”

“Good thinking.”

We wash our weapons and clothes before lunch. I feel good, like I’ve taken control of the situation. I ignore the guilty voice that reminds me I’ve broken the promise I made to Adrian. But I promised that I’d never do anything that would keep me from him, and he’s not here.

I’m woken by the sound of clanging metal and Barnaby’s incessant barks. I went to bed at seven in the morning, and it’s only a couple of hours later. I pull the blanket over my head, but when my half-asleep brain realizes that noise is hands on the fence—a lot of hands, from the sound of it—I jump into my boots, grab my cleaver and slip on my gloves.

I run toward the shouting that’s been added to the noise. Half of the farm stands watching the east fence. Caleb pushes through them, spike in hand, and I follow. The front of the crowd parts to reveal well over a hundred Lexers at the fence. The chain-link sags under the press of bodies. I don’t know how many it would take to push it down, but it looks like if they sustained this in a single spot for long enough, they might be able to do it.

One detaches from the pack and laces his fingers through the fence a bit farther down. He rattles the metal and releases a high-pitched scream that makes my skin crawl. I’ve never heard anything like it before. There’s an answering scream from behind me. I spot Bits in a tight knot with the other kids, hands fisted and face chalk-white. Her eyes are so wild that it scares me more than the Lexers at the fence. The Lexer’s mouth opens again, and I end his next scream with the spike of my cleaver.

I hurry to where Bits has buried her face in Hank’s armpit. “It’s okay,” he says. “Cassie got him.”

Hank winces when her nails dig into his side, followed by another ear-splitting scream. I wrestle her away and sink to the ground. I fold myself over her head in my lap, but she won’t stop screaming and thrashing, no matter how many times I call her name. I’m still wearing the pair of Adrian’s boxers that I sleep in, and she sinks her teeth into my thigh hard enough to break the skin. She takes off for the cabins when I yelp and let go.

Peter comes to a halt at my side and does a double take. “She
bit
you?”

“I’m fine. Just see if she’s okay.” Now that the Bits show is over, the other kids stare at the fence with pale faces. I rise to my feet and turn to where Penny stands. “Why are they out here?”

Penny appears overwhelmed by the kids and the scene in front of us, but I don’t care. It’s time she joined me in the real world. “Th—They ran out when they heard the noise,” she stammers. “I couldn’t get them back in.”

“That’s your one fu—freaking job!”

Penny pushes up her glasses and blinks. I don’t think I’ve ever yelled at her, and even now she flashes me a placating smile. “Cass—”

I ignore her and return to the fence. It’s sagging more than it was when I arrived. A fencepost shifts, and the chain-link bulges in a few feet. There are yells from the crowd behind us, which doesn’t help at all. Someone needs to get the spectators out of here if they’re not going to lend a hand. I stab an eye socket and then a forehead. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ashley brandishing a spike and shoving it through the fence.

Ana runs her spike across the links and hollers, seeking to get the crush of bodies to spread out. I move down to where she is and bang on the fence. A dozen detach from their friends and move to us. Liz and Dan do the same on the other end. Once they separate, it’s easy for all of us to finish them off, and we survey the bodies while we catch our breath. The fence is covered in gore, and the stench is terrible. It’s going to take all afternoon to move the stacks of Lexers that lie outside.

“That sucked,” Liz says, and rubs her lower back. She glances at the onlookers, who murmur amongst themselves.

“Are you okay?” Caleb asks her.

“I’m fine, but the old back isn’t what it used to be.”

“Let me help,” he says, and winds his arm around her waist.

“Cabe, I can walk.” Liz tries to shake him off, but he guides her anyway, pointing out rocks in her path. I can hear her mutters from thirty feet away.

Ashley drops her spike in a bucket and walks to where we stand. Her eyes are huge and she offers us a tremulous smile. “I tried to help,” she says, and then she starts to cry.

I put an arm around her. “You did great, Ash. It’s hard, though, isn’t it? Especially the first few times.”

Ashley pulls back and raises a hand to wipe her eyes. Before she can get it there, I grab her hand in mine and hold it up. She looks at the splattered blood and her breath hitches.

“Wash up first and don’t touch anything,” I say. I haven’t heard of anyone getting the virus through blood splatters, but that’s probably because they’re a zombie now.

She nods and leaves for the shower room that’s built onto the laundry. Ana watches her go. “She was good. I wish they would let her do guard.”

“Looks like you need a bandage,” Dan says, pointing at the blood that runs down my leg into the top of my boot.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t think I’d get bitten on
this
side of the gate. I’ll help with cleanup, but I want to check on Bits first.” I’m still in shock that Bits bit me. It’s so unlike her, and I can’t help but feel upset that she bit me of all people.

“We got it,” Ana says. “We have enough people without you and Peter.”

It’s a lot of bodies. We need people to load and move them, plus guards to make a perimeter around the ones doing the work. There are some, like Sue, who can’t do patrol for other reasons but willingly help with disposal when needed.

“Thanks,” I say, and turn to leave.

Dan follows me. “Hold up. I’ll walk with you. The other trailer’s down there with the truck.”

Meghan rushes out of the crowd and rests a hand on Dan’s bicep. She’s cute, with a sloped nose, dimples and two short, brown pigtails. “Dan! Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sure, Meghan. Just gotta clean up now.”

She blinks slowly, wide-eyed. It would be annoying if it was fake, but Meghan’s sweet, if a little too adorable and helpless. She could do patrol; she’s in her early twenties and all her parts are in working order, but the one time she tried to stab a Lexer, she missed. Through the fence.

“That was so scary, but I knew if anyone could do it, you could. Cass, you were so brave, too!”

Killing Lexers through a fence isn’t brave, but I thank her because she’s sincere. Sincerity or no, I can’t stop myself from clutching Dan’s arm after we’re out of view. “Danny, you were soooo brave! You’re my hero!”

“Don’t. Please.”

“But, why?” I ask in a perky voice. “I knew you’d save me!”

He pushes me playfully. I’ve decided to forget the moment in the vegetable garden when I got weird. Maybe he didn’t realize; it’s not like he knew what I was thinking.

“I think Meghan might be visiting The Love Den tonight,” I say.

“No way,” he replies. “I told you, I’m taking a breather.”

“Mm-hmm.” He elbows me in the side. We’ve arrived at my cabin, but I hesitate before going inside. “You sure you don’t need help?”

“Nah, we’re good. Just take care of Bits.”

“Okay.” I stumble up the cabin’s steps on the bootlace I didn’t take the time to double knot.

“How was your trip?” Dan asks.

“Yeah, like I’ve never heard that one before,” I say.

He laughs as I head inside. Bits is asleep in my bed, curled in Peter’s arms, with Sparky in hers. He stares at the wall with a wrinkled brow, but it smoothes out when I enter.

“How is she?” I ask.

“She’s okay, but she feels terrible about biting you.” I raise the hem of my boxers to show him the bite, now rimmed with the beginnings of a bruise. “Yowch. As well she should. Did you see Doc?”

“I’m sure it’s fine.” I sit and yank on my boot without success. “C’mon, you old boot. Work with me here.”

“Why do you think inanimate objects can hear you?” Peter asks.

It pops off, and I turn with a grin. “They can, see? Sometimes you just have to ask nicely.”

I push Bits’s cot against the bed so I can lie down and caress her cheek. She exhales with a flutter of eyelashes. Barnaby has followed me, and he hits the floor with a thump and a long sigh.

“Could there be another creature in here?” I ask.

“You might be able to fit a cow in that corner.”

I smile, but another look at Bits and it slips away. “She was doing so well. I thought doing the comic with Hank was helping.”

His eyes are cautious when he whispers, “She misses Adrian, too. She loved him.”

“I know.”

I close my eyes. I’m so tired; what I wouldn’t give to sleep it all away like Bits can. Peter runs a finger over my eyebrows the way he does when Bits has a nightmare. I can see why she likes it; it sucks all the restless thoughts out. I couldn’t stay awake if I tried, so I let myself go.

***

I open my eyes to find Bits staring at me from Peter’s arms. He breathes heavily and doesn’t wake when I take his hand from where it rests on my neck.

“Hi,” I say. “How are you feeling?”

Her lower lip trembles. “I’m sorry I bit you.”

“It’s okay,” I say. “Well, actually, it’s not okay, but maybe try not to bite me again?”

She sniffs and whips her head back and forth.

“I thought you were a zombie fighter,” I say. “Did you forget and think you were a zombie, so you bit me?”

“No,” she says with a giggle.

I reach to touch her but pull my hand back. “Wait, are you going to bite me again?”

“Cassie, I’m not gonna bite you!”

“I know this is all so scary.” I take her hand in mine, and she nestles our clasped hands under her chin. “What can we do to make it better?”

“I don’t like it when you leave. I want you to stay at the farm all the time.”

I want to tell her I will because I want to make her happy, but I can’t do it. I guess I could, if I didn’t want to remain sane. “I know, honey. But that’s what keeps us all safe and fed. How about if I’m here when you go to sleep, at least when I’m not on patrol?”

It may not be good enough, but she nods. When she’s not biting people, she’s a sweet, accommodating little person.

Peter’s eyes open. “Good morning, baby girl.”

Bits murmurs hello and buries her face in the pillow; she hates to disappoint Peter. He doesn’t pass judgment, which forces you to evaluate yourself. It can be really annoying. I try not to think about how let down he’d be if he knew what Ana and I do when we’re outside the gate. I’ve broken my promise to keep her reined in. It may not have been a real promise, but I still feel guilty.

“You know,” I say to him, “I think it was that nickname you gave her—Bits. Because Bits bit me.”

“So it’s my fault that
Bits
bit you?” Peter winks at me over her head and tightens his arms around her middle. “Hey Bits, you’re not going to bite me, are you?”

Bits makes an exasperated noise and lifts her head. “No, Peter!”

“Well, I’m going to tickle you, Freckles.”

She’s in hysterics before he’s touched her. I think of the Peter of a year ago compared to this one, who looks at Bits with such tenderness even while he tortures her. He’s become one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. I know it was always in there, but I don’t know that he would have become the person he is now if it weren’t for all of this. And it strikes me that he’s quite possibly the only good thing to come out of the end of the world.

I find John sitting at the desk in the radio room, where he does a morning shift. His hands are laced behind his head, and he stares at the map on the wall above our radio. It has pushpins just like Whitefield’s, and the south is turning green, slowly but surely.

“What’d Zeke have to say?” I ask.

“They can’t get Grand Canyon on the radio,” he says. “I wish we knew what was going on.”

“Will Monte Vista go check it out for us?”

His jaw bulges, and he bumps a fist on the desk. “Nope. They’re too scared. Part of me doesn’t blame them, but it’s foolhardy to stick their heads in the sand. You’d think they’d want to know if something’s coming.”