Until the End of Time (19 page)

“I don’t know. She looks like she died with him. I don’t know what’s going to happen to her now. She’s so lost without him.” Gretchen had talked to Azaya, who thought she should come back to New York and go back to work again, but Gretchen wasn’t sure. They had made a life here, and she thought Jenny wanted to stay, although she’d have to give up the house when they found a new minister, but that would take time. And the baby was coming any day.

Jenny got the call from the hospital at four
A.M
., hours after Gretchen left. And she had promised Lucy she’d be there. She got up, and she could hear Bill in her head, telling her he was right there with her. He would never leave her. She felt peaceful as soon as she remembered the words. And it started to rain when she went out to the truck. She drove her own, instead of his. It was a half-hour drive to St. Mary’s, and the nurse had said the baby was coming quickly, so she picked up speed. There were several sharp turns on the road, but the old Chevy truck held the road well. She was just nearing the last turn, when she turned and saw Bill sitting beside her, and smiling at her. He was right there with her in the truck.

“What are you doing here?” she asked him, as she smiled too.

“I told you I’d never leave you, silly.” She remembered it perfectly. And she was still smiling at him, as her truck slid out of control on the last turn, in the rain, and she saw lights coming toward her. She turned to see what Bill would say, and he looked peaceful, as she reached a hand out to him, and the truck coming at her hit her head on, going at full speed, and the yellow truck disappeared under its wheels, as she and Bill quietly walked away.

Chapter 11

Maggie had gotten the call from St. Mary’s at the same time Jenny did, that the baby was coming. She jumped into her clothes and grabbed her purse, as Frank woke up and looked at her.

“Where are you going? It’s the middle of the night.” He sounded as disagreeable as he always did when he drank too much.

“Lucy’s having the baby,” she said quietly.

“I don’t want to hear about it. Give it to them and forget about it,” he said, as though a life could be given up and forgotten as easily as that. She wondered if he felt the same way about her. She said nothing and walked out of the room. She went outside and got in her car in a light rain and wondered if she should have offered to pick Jenny up, but she hadn’t thought of it. She was glad she still wanted the baby, in spite of losing Bill. It would give her something to live for now, Maggie thought as she drove, praying that Lucy would come through it all right. She was so young to endure so much. Her own delivery had been traumatic, and she’d been ten years older than Lucy was now. At fourteen, Lucy just wasn’t ready for what was in store for her.

The rain slowed Maggie down, and an accident as she approached the hospital blocked the road. There were police standing by and an ambulance. A truck had overturned, and she explained to the officer, when he stopped her, that her daughter was having a baby and she had to get to the hospital, so they escorted her through, and she drove on. And as soon as she got there, they handed her surgical pajamas to change into and rushed her to the delivery room. It had all happened so quickly, and Lucy was ready to push. She was screaming piteously when her mother walked into the room, and Lucy grabbed her arm and clawed at her, as her mother tried to calm her down.

“Where’s Jenny?” she shouted as they held her down so she didn’t fall off the table, and finally they strapped her down which made her scream more. They were going to use forceps if she wouldn’t push, which would only make it worse. But they couldn’t reason with her, she was in too much pain. “I want her here too!” she screamed. “She said she’d be here!” Lucy said, terrified.

“She’s coming,” Maggie said with a calm she didn’t feel. It was ghastly watching her child in so much pain, it made her feel sick. “They called her when they called me. It’s raining and the road is blocked, so it may take her a while.” But Lucy’s baby wasn’t willing to wait. It was ripping its way through Lucy’s young body, and she felt like she was drowning as she screamed.

“Come on, Lucy, help us … we want to help you … let’s get the baby out. It will help us if you push,” the doctor said gently, but she was in too much pain to listen or care. She felt like she was dying. And finally they used the forceps, which only made her
scream more. There had been no time for an epidural, and it was too late now to give her anything for the pain.

“Can’t you do something for her?” her mother begged, wishing that Jenny were there too. It might have helped. But she’d obviously been delayed on the way, or stopped by the roadblock.

“We can give her a C-section,” the doctor said quietly, “but I’d rather not do that. It’ll be an issue for her in subsequent births, I’d rather she deliver naturally the first time.” But it was infinitely harder for her. Then finally, agonizingly, slowly, with the help of the forceps, as Lucy continued to scream, the baby’s head emerged, with a look of surprise and a mass of dark hair like Lucy’s and Jenny’s. The baby looked like both of them. Then they delivered the rest of the body—it was a baby girl—and Lucy lay there sobbing as her mother stroked her cheeks. They gave Lucy something for the pain then as they sewed her up and took the baby away. Jenny was supposed to be there, but she wasn’t, and they carried the baby to the nursery, to wait for her, while Maggie stayed with Lucy until she drifted off to sleep, still whimpering. It had been a terrible night that her mother knew she would never forget. And all for a baby they were giving to someone else. It made Maggie sad to think about it. Lucy was still asleep when they rolled her out of the delivery room and into a room where Maggie sat in a chair, dozing all night. In the morning, Jenny still hadn’t come.

Maggie called her house, and no one answered. And when Gretchen arrived to make breakfast for her, she saw that she had left, and her truck was gone. She didn’t know who to call or where she went, as she looked around. Jenny hadn’t left a note. She was
about to leave, when the phone rang and Gretchen picked it up. It was Maggie calling again to see where Jenny was. Gretchen thought it odd that she was calling and then wondered about the baby again and if it was Lucy’s. “Her truck’s not here,” Gretchen said simply. Bill’s was in the driveway, but the yellow Chevy was gone.

“I was expecting her last night,” Maggie said without explaining, “and she never came.” It had been a long ordeal, and she was exhausted. “There was an accident on the road,” she told Gretchen, and then her voice trailed off into nothing, and there was silence on the line.

“Oh my God,” Gretchen said. “I’ll call Clark.” He would know if something had happened to Jenny, and who was involved in any accident in the area. She called the sheriff’s office, and he came on the line a few minutes later and confirmed Gretchen’s worst fears.

“She lost control of her truck,” he said, sounding devastated. “She got in a head-on collision with an eighteen-wheeler coming around the bend. She must have died instantly.” He felt sick as he said it. She had died four days after Bill, and for an instant, Gretchen knew it was what she would have wanted. They were meant to be together, forever. Her life would never have been the same without him, even with the baby. She hung up, feeling shaken, and called Maggie back and told her. The two women cried and then hung up. And Gretchen called Azaya in New York and told her. She promised to call Helene, and Bill’s family, to tell them. She couldn’t imagine telling Jenny’s mother. Tragedy had struck twice in one week.

Maggie sat for a long time, thinking about it, while she waited for Lucy to wake up, and it was almost noon when she did. Lucy’s voice was hoarse from screaming, and she looked at her mother with
blank eyes. She hadn’t even seen her baby after it was born, and had planned not to, since she was giving it up. But now Jenny wasn’t coming to take it. Maggie told Lucy as gently as she could what had happened to Jenny the night before. Lucy lay there, sobbing silently, with tears streaming down her cheeks. She had loved Jenny, and now her baby had no one to adopt her. She looked at her mother with agony in her eyes. But they were the eyes of a woman now, not a child.

“Mama, can I keep her?” she begged, and without hesitating, her mother nodded, as Lucy sobbed in relief. It made everything that had happened to her the night before worthwhile. She could keep her baby. “What about Dad?” she asked with panic in her eyes. And with the same certainty she’d had a moment before, Maggie knew that it was time. She was ready.

“I’m going to leave your father, Lucy. We’ll figure it out, the three of us, you, me, and the baby. What are you going to call her?” her mother asked her.

“Jenny,” Lucy said with a sad smile, as her mother leaned over and kissed her.

Chapter 12

Gretchen made the arrangements for the funeral with Maggie’s help, and Azaya’s advice from New York. It was held at Sts. Peter and Paul. Her mother came back from Philadelphia and looked like a ghost herself, as Gretchen did her best to shepherd her around. Helene was incapable of making any decisions. She was too distraught. She looked very frail as she attended the funeral of her only child.

All the men and women who had attended her groups were at the funeral, and the teenagers in Jenny’s Girls, everyone she had touched, reached out to, and helped in the eight months she’d been in Moose, which seemed like a lifetime to those who knew her. She had affected so many lives while she lived there, and before that. Two of the designers she had consulted for flew out to Wyoming, and the others sent enormous flowers. There was a memorial page in
Women’s Wear Daily
that day, with the announcement of her death and a tribute to her enormous dedication, talent, and contributions to fashion. Tom was the only member of Bill’s family who came out, and he looked shocked.

It was a brilliantly sunny day, and they laid her to rest in the cemetery where she had put Bill less than a week before. They lay together side by side, in the small cemetery surrounded by wildflowers. And afterward people milled around the house, looking lost, and they left quickly. It was just too sad being there with both of them gone now.

Helene offered to pack up the house, but Gretchen knew she wasn’t equal to it and suggested she go home. It was just too sad and overwhelming for her in Moose. She flew back to Philadelphia that night, and Tom had promised to stay a few days after to pack up their things. He felt he owed it to Bill. He and Gretchen were going to do it together. Helene had been in no condition to help. Tom was planning to take Gus back to New York, as a way to feel closer to his brother. He wanted to keep the dog. Tom and Gretchen sat outside that night, talking about them, and Tom told her how funny his brother had been as a kid, and how different he had been from the rest of the family, even then.

“He was a much better person than we were,” Tom said quietly. “It took me years to figure that out. I only got it last year. He was ten times the man my brother and I are, and my father. And he was so lucky he found Jenny. He adored her.”

“And she adored him,” Gretchen added.

“He had a crazy theory, that people who love each other like that stay together forever. They become stars in the heavens when they die, and then they come back and find each other again. I hope that’s true for both of them. They deserve it.” He was quiet for a while, and then he spoke to the woman who had become his friend through two funerals, of people they both loved so much, although
he had hardly known Jenny. “I’ve made some important decisions lately,” he confided to her. “I want what they had someday. I’m going to get divorced when I go back. I think my brother showed me that you really can find someone to love the way he did Jenny. I never understood it till recently, but he was right.” She nodded. She felt that way about Eddy.

As they sat together, looking up at the night sky, they saw two falling stars shoot through the sky close together, and disappear.

“I hope that was them,” Tom said softly, and Gretchen smiled, as tears rolled down her cheeks. She hoped so too. That they were in heaven now, two stars together, forever.

Robert and Lillibet

2013

Chapter 13

The day dawned warm and beautiful, with a cameo-blue sky, as carriage after carriage drew up to the plot of freshly prepared land. The men had organized and cut the lumber, and it was stacked and waiting. And the women had been cooking for several days. The younger children would play nearby, while the young girls helped their mothers with meals, and the able-bodied boys would help their fathers with the house raising, which was one of the happiest activities the entire community engaged in. And by nightfall, the family would have a new home. The following day the windows would be put in, the floorboards laid, and the plumbers among them would put in a simple indoor plumbing system, as well as an outhouse. The propane tanks would be put in, to light and heat the house and provide hot water, as there was no electricity.