Until the Sun Burns Out (3 page)

“Sounds like someone’s got a little crush,” Grace crooned.

“I do not have a crush on Austin.” I was perched on the edge of my bed, cell phone pressed to my ear.

“We’ve been on the phone for a half an hour and you’ve mentioned him no less than twenty times. You totally have a crush on him,” Grace insisted in that know-it-all tone she had perfected over the years. I could picture her sitting cross-legged on her pink floral bedspread, her dark brown hair pulled up in a messy bun on the top of her head.

“I only mentioned him because he’s annoying and rude,” I pointed out. My gaze flickered to the window where the blinds were open to reveal the beach. It was late, but that didn’t stop people from hanging out near the water. Voices floated on the breeze. Kids ran past. Adults sat in the sand, laughing with friends. I imagined sitting out there with Grace, and it made me miss her even more.

“Sure.” She chuckled in a way that told me she wasn’t convinced.

“It’s true.” I sighed, unsure of why this was rattling me so much.

“Good, cause I don’t need you getting some boyfriend there. Then you won’t want to come back.”

I snorted. “Trust me. I’ll want to come back. I’m counting down the days.”

“You better be, because it sucks here without you.”

“Oh, really? Even with all the time you’ve been spending with Brody?” I teased. Out the window I saw orange flames in the distance, grey smoke pluming in the sky. Standing, I walked forward trying to figure out what it was. On closer inspection, it became clear that it was a bonfire. A large group stood around it, their faces illuminated by the yellow light. I remembered how two summers ago our family spent a weekend camping at the lake. Grace had come with me, and we stayed up every night talking and giggling by the fire. My stomach knotted.

“Brody’s not interested in me,” Grace said in a pouty voice.

I turned away from the window, leaning my back against the wall. In the other room, Luca and Dad talked loudly over the television. It sounded like they were watching the sports channel. “I thought you said you two had been hitting it off.” Grace had sent me a dozen texts about him just a few days ago.

“I thought we were too, but it turns out he was only interested in Ava.”

“Oh.” Ava had been a friend of ours for years, and I knew that Grace had been hanging out with her a lot since I’d been at my dad’s. “I’m sorry.” I felt bad that Grace was hurting, but I wasn’t exactly sad that she and Brody hadn’t started dating. I’d seen so many of our friends grow apart when they got boyfriends. It seemed when a boy and girl started going out, they forgot about their friends and focused only on each other. I never wanted that to happen to Grace and me.

“It’s okay. There are plenty of other boys.” There was a smile in Grace’s voice, and it made my lips curl upward at the corners. That was the thing about my bestie. She was definitely a “glass is half-full” kind of girl. Always looking on the bright side. It was one of the reasons I loved her so much. I tended to veer to the negative so easily, but she knew how to yank me back into the land of positivity.

“That’s the spirit,” I told her, jumping on the happy train.

“And don’t worry. I’m sure your beach boy will come around.”

“He’s not my beach boy.” I bristled.

“Someone’s protesting a little bit too much,” she bantered.

I frowned. “It doesn’t matter anyway. He doesn’t like me. That’s obvious.”

“Oh, come on, Mina. You know that when a boy is mean to you that means he secretly likes you. We learned that all the way back in kindergarten. Remember what’s-his-name?” The snap of her fingers reverberated through the phone lines. I closed my eyes, the sound making her feel close. “Nick,” she answered her own question. “He was always pulling your hair and stuff. But then at the spring carnival he gave you that plastic ring.”

I giggled at the silly memory. “True, but I think we’ve graduated from those days. We’re not exactly in kindergarten anymore.”

“Some boys still act like they are,” Grace joked.

“Truth,” I agreed.

***

Footsteps shuffled on the ground, voices spinning around me. My eyelids flipped open, and I shot straight up in bed. It was pitch black, and I had to blink repeatedly while my eyes adjusted. My heart pounded beneath my flesh. It took me a minute to register where I was. I knew I wasn’t home, but I quickly remembered that I was at Dad’s beach house. Mostly because I could hear the waves lapping against the shore from outside the window.

I honed in on the noises coming from the other side of the bedroom door. It didn’t sound like Luca or my dad, but I couldn’t be entirely sure. It was clear that it was coming from down the hallway though. Maybe in the family room. It was more than one person, and their tones were hushed. Hair prickled along my neck. Tossing off my covers, I slid to the edge of the bed until my bare feet hit the hardwood floor. It was cold against my soles, and a shiver rippled up my spine.

Standing up, I glided across the floor. When I reached the door, I quietly turned the knob, and it popped open. Tiptoeing down the hallway, I kept my ears perked. It was quiet now, but that didn’t keep my pulse from racing or my palms from sweating. As I rounded the corner, I swiped my palms on my pajama pants. The fuzzy material stuck to it. Prying my hand off, I stepped into the family room and then gasped, startled.

“Mina.” Dad jumped, startled as well. He was backing away from the front door. “What are you doing up?”

“I thought I heard voices. Was someone here?” Shaking my head, I realized that didn’t make sense. Dad was in his pajamas too, and since I’d been here I hadn’t seen him interacting with anyone but Luca and I. But he was closing the front door when I came out here. “Or did you just get home?” Again, I didn’t know where he would’ve went in his pajamas, but I had to ask.

“Um…” Dad scratched the back of his neck. “No. I actually got up because I thought I heard voices too. So I peeked outside. Turns out it was just a group of beachgoers.” He threw me a chagrined look. “I’m still getting used to living on the beach, I guess.” It was plausible, but it did little to quell the suspicion that had creeped up inside of me. “Since we’re both up, what do you say I make us your favorite midnight snack?”

My heart lifted. “Chocolate and marshmallow sandwiches?’

“Yep.” His lips stretched into a smile.

“You have the stuff to make them?”

“Of course. I bought all of the ingredients the minute I knew you were coming for the summer,” Dad explained. “I was so excited for your visit.”

My stomach knotted at the word “visit.” I was his daughter. I shouldn’t have had to visit him. I used to live with him. We used to be together all of the time. How could this be enough for him? How could it be what he wanted?

“If you hadn’t moved, you could see us all the time,” I pointed out. His smile faded. “Why did you move here, Dad? If you love us the way you say you do, why did you move away from us?”

Dad’s eyes softened, and he stepped toward me. “My parents divorced when I was a kid, and I remember driving through town with my mom and stepdad, and sometimes we’d run into my dad. It was so awkward. He felt it, and we felt it. Later he told me it was so hard for him to see me and not be able to be with me whenever he wanted. And, honestly, I hated the way the custody was split. I lived with my mom during the week and stayed with Dad on the weekends. It was so much back and forth and it was confusing.” His eyes were glazed over as if he was a million miles away in his mind. It made my insides twist. “I couldn’t imagine doing that to you and your brother. I didn’t want you to have that kind of life.” He shrugged. “I thought this would be better. Your life will be stable. You’ll get to live in one house all school year, and then the summers will be like one long vacation. And when you’re here, I won’t have to share you. Besides, you and your brother always loved the beach.”

I could see that he believed what he was saying. He thought this was what was best for us. But he was wrong. None of this was best for me. None of this was what I wanted.

“I loved the beach when we went there as a
family
,” I said. “But we don’t have a family anymore. You took that away.” Angrily, I whirled around.

“Mina,” Dad called after me.

My shoulders stiffened.

“You can’t keep treating me with disrespect like this. I’m still your dad.”

Peering over my shoulder, I laughed bitterly. “For only three months a year.”

“That’s not true, Mina,” he said gently. “I’m your dad forever. Nothing can change that.”

A lump formed in my throat. He had no idea how much I wanted that to be true.

“I’m only a phone call away,” he added, and my heart hardened right back up.

“You don’t get it,” I snapped. “I don’t want you to be a phone call away. I want you down the hallway. I want you in the same house so I can see you every day. Not just during the summer.” My lips quivered, moisture pricking at my eyes.

“I want that too.”

“No, you don’t.” Swallowing hard, I lifted my chin. “You’re the one who left.” Before he could respond, I raced down the hallway and slipped into my room. Once inside, I firmly closed the door. Leaning my head against the wall, I breathed out deeply warding off the tears.

The sandwich sat on the table between us like a peace offering.

The early morning sun streamed in through the windows, painting yellow lines on the floor. I’d woken up early with the intention of getting out of the house before Dad got up. The last thing I wanted was a confrontation again today. I was tired of fighting. That’s why I planned to go for a walk and call Mom, beg her to let me come home. It may not have worked during our last conversation, but I knew eventually I could wear her down. I always could. She was a pushover. Dad used to tease her about it too. At the time I thought it was good- natured, but now I wondered if it was his way of putting her down, getting in a dig at her.

However, I never got a chance to call Mom because Dad was already awake when I went into the kitchen.

“I made it for you this morning, since we never got the chance to have it in the middle of the night,” Dad explained, pushing the plate nearer to me.

I stood next to the table staring down at it, my mouth watering. It had been months since I’d had a chocolate and marshmallow sandwich. Mom refused to make them for me. She thought they were gross. It had always been something Dad made. A snack we enjoyed together. And even then I didn’t get it often. Only on special occasions.

Reaching down, I picked it up. I may have been angry with Dad, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t eat the sandwich. Besides, it was already made. No sense wasting it. When I took a bite, chocolate oozed out and dripped down the side of my mouth. Darting out my tongue, I licked it off. The mixture of the sticky marshmallow crème and sweetness of the chocolate melted on my tongue.

“Sit down a minute.” Dad waved his hand toward the chair across from me, and then I knew why he made the sandwich. It was a bribe.

Well played.
I was enjoying the snack too much to decline. With a sigh, I threw myself down onto the chair. After my butt hit the seat, I wished I hadn’t thrown myself down quite so hard.

“I know you’re upset with me for leaving, and I don’t blame you.” My head snapped up. It wasn’t what I was expecting. I would’ve responded, but my mouth was stuck together from all the marshmallow crème. So instead I simply chewed, and listened. “And I’m not going to sit here and explain the reasons your mom and I split up again.”
Thank goodness. It was hard enough to hear the first time.
“I’m done making excuses. The divorce was between your mom and I, and I don’t expect you to understand any of it. And I’m sorry that you and your brother have been hurt by our mistakes.” He paused, his eyes catching mine. “But you’re my daughter, and you’re here for the summer. I want us to make the most of it. Do you think we can do that?”

I swallowed down the remainder of the sandwich. My gaze swept the room, taking in the large windows overlooking the beach, the stack of DVDs in the corner (many of which were my favorite), and the board games sitting out on the coffee table. Then I returned my attention to Dad’s face, open and vulnerable, expectancy written all over it. He’d been trying so hard, and I was tired of making him pay for his past mistakes. No amount of tantrums was going to get my parents back together. What was done was done. End of story.

So, I forced a smile. “Yeah, I think we can.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Wearing a smile of his own, he snatched up my plate. After carrying it to the sink, he turned on the water. “So what do you want to do today?”

“Go to the beach!” Luca leaped into the room, already wearing swim trunks.

Giggling, I nodded. “That sounds fun, actually.” Ever since the last time I’d seen Austin, I’d been avoiding the beach. But I figured if I was with Luca and Dad, it wouldn’t be so bad this time.

“Beach it is, then,” Dad said, turning the faucet off and wiping his hands on a nearby towel.

It didn’t take long to get ready, and we were at the beach in no time. Even though it was still early, it was already sweltering. Luca and I thought ahead and had already put on sunblock up at the house. So the minute after we dropped our stuff in the sand, I hurriedly peeled off my swim suit cover up and headed to the water.

“Race you there!” Luca called, sprinting past me.

“Not fair!” I called back, taking off behind him. It only took a few seconds for me to catch him. Not only was he younger than me, but I’d always been a fast runner. It’s what made me good at soccer.

I reached the water before him and turned around to do a little victory dance. Luca snickered as I strutted and flapped my arms like a chicken in the shallow part of the water. It was frigid as it slid over my toes with each motion, and goosebumps rose on my calves. But it felt good. Giggling, I spun around and then stopped cold. A few feet away Austin watched me, his expression a mixture of amusement and surprise. Face heating up, I froze, mid-flap. Luca shot past me, unaware of Austin’s presence. Lowering my arms, I wrapped them around my bathing suit clad body, as if the mere act could shield me from embarrassment. Not that it would do the trick. Nothing but a time machine could’ve saved me.

“Come on, Mina. Let’s go bodysurf in the waves,” Luca hollered, running further into the water.

“Yeah, Mina,” Austin parroted him, nodding his head toward my brother. “I’d like to see you try to bodysurf again too. The last time it was really entertaining.”

Annoyance thrashed in my veins. Everything about this guy got under my skin, from his snarky remarks and sarcastic attitude to the fact that he looked so good shirtless.
Wait.
What?
Shaking my head, I scolded myself for even thinking that. As he continued to watch me with those dark, mischievous eyes, the need to prove him wrong rose up inside of me so strong it was like a windstorm tearing through my insides.

Grunting, I turned away from him and marched into the water. I’d show him I could bodysurf better than anyone out here. I’d make him eat his words. With my gaze trained on Luca and the wave that was coming at him, my toe hit something solid, causing my body to lurch forward. The water came at me hard and fast, smacking me in the face. I barely had time to register what happened before I went under.

Well, that went well.

The freezing water encompassed me as I fell to the shallow dirt below. After getting a mouthful of sand, I pressed the ground with my palms and hoisted myself up. When I came out of the water, the first thing I heard was Austin’s laughter. My blood boiled. Wiping sand from the front of my bathing suit, I whirled around, narrowing my eyes.

“What is your problem?” I asked him.

The laughter ceased, but I could still read the amusement in his eyes. “What is
your
problem? I’m just having fun.”

“At my expense,” I pointed out, spitting sand out of my mouth.
Eww. Gross.

Even Austin winced a little at that, which only made it more embarrassing. Frantically, I wiped it off with the back of my hand.

“You do give me a lot of ammunition.” His gaze flickered down my sand-covered body as if to emphasize the point. I wanted to shoot back something pithy about him, but I couldn’t come up with anything. There was nothing funny about his appearance. In fact, he sort of looked like he belonged in some kind of teen magazine about celebrities on the beach with his muscled chest and navy swim trunks riding low on his waist.

Glancing behind me, I caught Luca riding a wave. At least he hadn’t seen me fall or I’d have them both laughing at me.

“I’m glad you find me so amusing,” I said dryly, pushing past him. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get cleaned up.” Mud dripping from my body, I made my way back to where Dad was lying out on his towel reading a book. When I got closer, his head bobbed up and his eyes widened.

“Mina, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I brushed away his concern.

“She just got in a little fight with the ocean.” I flinched at the sound of Austin’s voice, not realizing that he’d followed me. “Hi, Sir.” Moving around me, he thrust his hand toward my dad. “I’m Austin.”

Dad pinned him with a curious stare while taking his hand. “I’m Paul, but you can call me Mr. Kincaid.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Kincaid.” Austin flashed Dad a charming smile.

I rolled my eyes. What was he doing?

“My parents rent a summer house just down the way a little bit.” With his index finger, he indicated which direction. “We come here every summer.”

Dad nodded in a way that told me he was warming up to Austin. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. But I was more concerned with getting all the dirt off of myself, so ignoring them, I yanked my towel out of my beach bag and started wiping mud from my skin.

“I just bought the house back there.” Dad turned, pointing to his beach house.

“Cool. I remember the last family who lived there. Older couple,” Austin said.

Luca waved and hollered something unintelligible to us from where he splashed around in the waves. Dad’s gaze slid over Austin’s shoulder. “Um…you two will have to excuse me. I’m going to go see what Luca wants.” After he stood up, he looked at Austin. “It was nice to meet you,” he said before walking off.

Once he was gone, I turned to Austin, my eyebrows knitting together. “What was that about?”

“I introduced myself to your dad.” His tone was flippant, nonchalant.

“Why?” I asked. A kid threw a Frisbee past my head, and I turned right in time to see his dog catch it in his mouth.

“Cause I wanted to meet him,” Austin spoke slowly as if I didn’t understand the concept.

“Did I ask you to meet him?” I questioned, exasperated. He laughed, and it caused frustration to burn through me. “What is so funny now?” I threw my hands up, confused.

“You are,” he said, still chuckling. Stepping forward, he plopped down on Luca’s towel. “You know I’ve been vacationing here since I was four, and you are by far the most entertaining summer kid I’ve met.”

“I’m so glad I can liven things up for you,” I said sarcastically.

“Me too,” he responded in all seriousness. “I was feeling pretty down when I first got here. My sister’s going away to college this fall and this summer she’s been so focused on her future plans, she’s had no interest in hanging out or doing any of the things we normally do on this trip. Until you arrived, I thought this summer was going to royally suck.”

My heart softened at his words. Slowly, I lowered down onto the towel next to where he sat. “Sorry,” I said quietly. “That must be tough.”

His shoulders bobbed up and down, that easy smile returning. “It’s always hard when the family dynamic changes.” When his gaze bounced to mine, there was understanding in his eyes.

I swallowed back the emotion that slowly crept up. “Yeah, it is.”

“That your soccer ball?” His head swiveled over to where Dad’s stuff lay in the white sand. When my gaze landed on the slick black and white ball, I was surprised. I hadn’t even seen Dad bring it. He must have been hopeful that we could play at some point today. My throat felt tight.

“Yeah, it is.”

“You play?” He stretched out his legs, his feet pushing against the sand. It coated his toes and the soles of his feet. The muscles on the back of his calves flexed.

“I used to.”

“Maybe we could play some time.”

“Sure.” A slight breeze picked up, and a strand of hair whipped into my face. I brushed it back with my finger. “I wouldn’t mind kicking your butt in soccer.”

“Says the girl who just ate a mouthful of sand trying to walk into the ocean.”

My expression hardened. “That was an accident. I tripped over a rock or something.”

“Oh, yeah?” His eyebrows lifted. “And what was your excuse the last time?”

My face flamed. Pressing my lips together, I realized there was no way to answer that without embarrassing myself more. What could I say? That the wave hit me because I was too busy staring at him to notice it was coming at me?

A group of teenage girls in bikinis sauntered past. His gaze flickered to them momentarily, and my stomach soured. Not that I cared. I didn’t. But for some reason it irked me. Maybe because I knew I’d never look like them.

“It’s okay to admit you need help,” he said, tearing his eyes from the group of well-endowed girls. “I’m happy to teach you how to bodysurf.”

“Oh, I know how to bodysurf,” I told him.

“You do know you’re not supposed to surf with your face, right?’

“Yes,” I hissed. “I know.”

He chuckled. “All right. Then show me what you got.”

“Oh, I will. And then I’ll beat you in soccer too.”

“One thing at a time, summer girl.” Standing, he offered his hand.

I stared at it a moment before taking it. When his fingers closed around mine, my stomach did a somersault. As he guided me to my feet, I thought back to what Grace had said during our earlier conversation. Was she right? Did I have a crush on him?