Unwanted Stars (34 page)

"No, no, no!
No
crying!" I said, wiping Hadley's tears away gently with a tissue.

"I can't help it. He's just...he's perfect."

"No he's not," I said with a laugh, "but you're pretty perfect for each other."

"Thanks." Tears slipped down her pink cheeks. "I think we've both found the loves of our lives, don't you?"

"Yeah," I said, blushing. "I do."

"I like him a lot, Aud. The way he looks at you. It's like—"

"What? Spill it."

"No, you'll get pissed. You hate when I get sappy."

"I can take it this time." I was dying to know what she thought. What she
really
thought about the two of us together.

"Interesting," she said, a look of mischief in her eyes. "The way he looks at you. It's as if you hung the moon."

"I hung the moon?"

"It's an expression. It means he's absolutely crazy about you. Like you could do no wrong."

"I know what it means, dork. But do you really think so?"

"I'm certain."

"Wow."

Silence drifted into the room and Hadley's eyes turned again. This time they were serious.

"Are you going to tell him?" she asked, biting her lower lip.

"Should I?"

"I can't answer that for you. So...
are
you?"

"Pregnant?" She nodded. "No, but I thought I was. And it scared the fuck out of me. I'm not ready. For any of that. I don't know how you did it, Had. Seriously."

"It was hard, I'm not gonna lie, but I wouldn't change a thing. Who knows how long Tucker and I would've stayed together if it wasn't for Marty, ya know? And Jason...I can't even imagine my life without your brother in it. The thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. He's my world. They both are."

"I need to be more careful. I'm just...not ready."

"I get it. You've got so much on your plate."

"I know. For god's sake, I'm only twenty-three!"

"Tabitha was only fifteen," she said softly, rubbing my arm with her delicate hand.

The realization hit me like a fucking Mack truck. Holy shit. She was only fifteen. I'm almost nine years older than she was when she discovered she was pregnant. I was an adult, living my life with a degree hanging in my apartment and life experience under my belt. She was a
child
. A fucking child. And my parents
rescued
her. They rescued her and they rescued me.

"For God's sake, how clueless have I been?"

My eyes pleaded with Hadley for the truth. I needed to know how foolish I'd been.

"Not clueless. Just hurt. Lost. Confused. They should have told you a long time ago, but they had their reasons. They're human. They made a mistake."

"A big one," I muttered.

"Agreed." She ran her fingers through my hair. "But their love for you...it's unwavering. Trust me, I'm a mom."

"But you gave birth to Marty. It's different."

"Auden Kelly, I can't believe you just said that...today of all days."

I had no idea what that meant. I looked at her, perplexed. She was pissed. I swear smoke was about to come out her ears, and I had no idea why. When I simply shrugged my shoulders, she continued, "Jason is
not
Marty's father by blood. Do you honestly think he loves him any less? Because if you do, maybe I shouldn't go through with this."

Her hands were on her hips and she was glaring at me in a way she never had before. I had dug myself a huge hole. Huge.

"Holy shit, Had. Goddamnit, I'm sorry."

"And don't say it's not the same thing, because it
so
is."

No, you're one hundred percent right."

"Thank you," she snapped before taking a seat at the table. "I used to worry about that, you know. It used to keep me up at night."

"What?"

"The thought of him not loving him as his own. It's why I pushed him away. Can you imagine if I hadn't realized how stupid I was being? Jason and I wouldn't be together. Marty and I would be fine, but...it wouldn't be the same. We wouldn't be
us.
"

My eyes welled with tears. She was right. Absolutely right. As usual, I was so wrapped up in myself, not looking at things from anyone else's point of view.

"I won't lie to him," she continued. "He'll always know that his birth father is Tucker. But he'll also know his daddy is Jason. And that will never change. Not ever."

I had no words. All I could do was nod my head as I listened to Hadley give me the biggest dose of humble pie I'd ever received. But it was necessary. I needed to hear it. All of it.

"I want to forgive them. So badly."

"Then do it," she said. "It's going to take time, sure, but they love you and they did a hell of a job raising you."

"I know."

"Take it from someone whose dad is gone. Don't lose yours by choice. Don't shut them out."

That stung. Hadley's dad dying when we were in college nearly destroyed her entire family. They were healing, but she and her mom missed him every single day.

"I'm so sorry, Had. I didn't—"

"No, it's okay. I just don't want you to have regrets. Wasted time without them in your life, ya know?"

"Yeah, I get it. Thanks."

"Sure," she said, pulling me in for a hug.

"This is supposed to be
your
day, ya know," I said, clutching her tight.

"Oh, whatever. I was having a moment."

"I love you," I said.

"I love you more."

"Oh, hi!" Hadley said, looking to the door of the conference room. A petite woman with shiny black hair and a pensive smile leaned against the door frame.. "Auden, this is Debbie, our wedding planner. She's the reason the library looks so incredible. She did it all."

"It's nice to meet you," I said, extending my hand as she walked toward me.

"Auden. Maid of Honor, right?"

"That's me."

"Ooh, that reminds me. Hadley, the wedding programs are at the double doors leading to the ceremony."

"Perfect. My cousins are handing them out. I'll let them know."

"Good," Debbie said, inspecting the room. "Your stylist just arrived. She's speaking to your photographer. They'll both be in soon. Kate wants to get some photos of you getting your hair and makeup done.”

"Sounds good," Hadley said.

"Are you nervous?" I asked. She shook her head decisively.

"Not at all. I'm ready."

"Then let's do this."

"He looks so handsome," Hadley said, peeking through the windows in the lobby. Jason was standing at the end of the aisle, his sandy hair in perfect style. Shiny black glasses sat on the bridge of his nose and brand new black Converse adorned his feet. He was such a hipster. His fingers were drumming on his thighs as he patiently waited for the doors to open.

"He's nervous."

"I know. It's cute."

"You let him wear Chucks? To his own wedding?"

She shrugged. "I wanted him to be himself."

"You're way too tolerant."

"Just wait." she winked. "Ready, Mom?"

Allison Foster, Hadley's mother, looked beautiful. The powder blue dress fit her frame perfectly. She'd managed to gain weight in the last year and was taking pride in her appearance. She still missed Mr. Foster like crazy but was trying to date and put herself out there. And I knew Hadley was proud of her.

"Yep, I am."

I loved that Hadley broke tradition and asked her mother to walk her down the aisle rather than asking a male member of her family. Of course she wished Mr. Foster could be here, but since he couldn't be, she wanted her mom to be the one to give her away.

"Riley, honey," Hadley said to my niece. "Are you ready to pull Marty in the wagon?"

"Uh huh!" she said, grasping the handle of the wagon. Marty was sitting, happily paging through a board book that Jason had created from pictures of the family. He was enamored with it, pointing to each picture and proudly reciting their name. Such a smart boy.

"I'll be right behind you, sweetheart," I said, patting Riley's head. "I'll take Marty out of the wagon when I get there, kay?"

"Got it, Audey," she said with a big thumbs up. God, I loved that girl, even if her mother was a total pill who still hadn't said a word to me about the adoption. I was certain she knew all about it too. She just didn't want to acknowledge it. I guess I wasn't worth the conversation...

The music played and the doors opened, Riley pulled the wagon down the aisle, and I heard Marty say, "Daddy" once he noticed Jason at the front. The smile on Hadley's face was absolutely priceless at that moment.

I followed Riley down the aisle, catching a glimpse of Campbell seated with my parents toward the front of the groom's side. He wiggled his eyebrows at me when I approached. I shook my head and mouthed, "Nerd." He snickered before putting a fist to his mouth to clear his throat. When I reached the front, I took Mr. Marty out of the wagon and held him in my arms as we watched his mom glide down the aisle.

"Mommy," he said, pointing to Hadley as she walked arm in arm with her mother. She waved to him before focusing her attention on Jason. Jason's hand covered his mouth as he watched his bride continue toward him. He breathed deeply, preventing any tears from slipping out. When her mother offered Hadley’s arm to Jason, he gave her a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek.

Jason took Hadley's hands in his after gesturing to the room. "I can't believe you did this."

"Were you surprised?"

"Totally," he said with a giant smile before stroking her cheek with his fingertip.

"Good."

"Thank you."

That moment between them was so genuine, so sweet, and so indicative of their relationship. It was one made up of gestures—giving, sweet gestures to show the other how much they cared, how much their needs surpassed their own. They were a perfect match.

Marty squirmed in my arms a bit as the Pastor welcomed everyone and began the wedding ceremony. "Mommyyyyy," he whined.

Hadley blew him a kiss and whispered, "Stay with Audey, okay, peanut?"

He nodded his head while making a poo-poo face. Oh, that face killed me. His floppy hair had landed in his eyes, so I brushed his bangs aside and kissed him on the top of his head, remembering the conversation Hadley and I had earlier in the conference room. Regardless of the blood flowing through this little boy's veins, he was my brother's son, he was my nephew, and nothing would ever change that. Being a parent wasn't about genetics, DNA, or pregnancy tests. It was about showing up. Loving a little person so much that you devoted your life to them, no questions asked. That's what Jason had done, and that's what my parents had done as well.

I glanced at my parents who were watching Jason with love in their eyes. My mom's hand clutched my dad's as the other dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. As if she could feel my eyes on her, she glanced my way and a bittersweet expression crossed her face. I glanced at Marty then back at my mom before mouthing, "I love you." She covered her mouth with the tissue, closed her eyes tight, and nodded behind her tears.

We were going to be just fine.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm pleased to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Jason Kelly...and special guest, Martin Kelly!"

The music blasted as my brother and his family walked through the double doors. Guests roared in laughter when they observed the matching t-shirts on Jason and Marty. Tuxedo t-shirts, perfect for dancing. I knew Jason wouldn't be able to wear his monkey suit for long, and Marty looked precious, his arms wrapped tightly around his daddy's neck, matching Chucks on his tiny feet.

They made their way to their private head table for three, a high chair waiting for Marty. Dinner was delicious and intimate. Campbell and I sat with my family, which was a little awkward considering I'd yet to have a real conversation with Gemma, Granddad, Maya, or my dad. I stayed relatively silent as Campbell engaged everyone in pleasant conversation. I found myself popping up to chat with friends of Hadley and Jason so that I could avoid direct eye contact with any of them. Gemma was giving me space. I knew she'd never want to have a confrontation in a social situation like this, so, I was golden with her and Granddad. Maya was focusing all of her attention on Riley. She was micromanaging that poor girl's every move.