(Un)wise (24 page)

Not knowing what to think of the unexpected kiss, I went back to enjoying the movie, as I threaded my fingers through his.  Every once in a while his thumb would smooth over the back of my hand.

After the show, we all walked back to the hotel.  Everyone else was going to lunch, but the popcorn from the theater ruined my appetite, and I felt the tug of a dream.  So, Luke and I walked back to our room.

Instead of giving into the dream, I decided to take a shower and warned Luke it would be a warm one just in case he thought I was taking too long.  I hadn’t enjoyed the last time I fell asleep in a hotel bathtub.

Stripped down and letting the water run, I looked at myself in the mirror.  I still desperately wanted to Claim Luke and wished I was brave enough to walk out there just as I was to try to tempt him.  But I wasn’t.  The scars on my arms bothered me.  They were from a desperate time in my life that I really didn’t want to think about.  The one on my stomach was just stupid.  What really bothered me was my weight.  I’d gained a little but not enough to look appealing, in my mind.  Every time I pictured myself bare in Luke’s presence, a scene from Les Misérables—the old one, not the new—interposed itself.  It was the part where Uma Thurman pulled back the covers to offer herself as payment to her landlord.  Thin and sickly, she’d disgusted him.  That’s what I envisioned.  A grand gesture and an epic failure that would leave me crushed.

Covering myself with my arms, I ducked under the spray ready to wash away all my ugliness.  It didn’t work.

When I stepped out of the shower, I was the same scarred, thin me.  I looked around for my bag and started to panic.  I hadn’t brought it in with me.  Was this a self-fulfilling prophecy?  I sat on the toilet on the verge of tears with a dream tapping its sharp fingers on my skull.

Why did life have to be so hard?

A knock on the door startled me.

“You all right?” Luke asked from the other side.

I quickly stood and rubbed my yet unshed tears away.  “Yeah.  I just forgot the bag.”

“I’ll get it,” His voice sounded fainter, and I knew he had already walked away from the door.

Making a quick I-don’t-want-to-do-this face, I turned the knob and opened it a few inches to look out.  He had his back to me, picking up the bag from one of the beds.  When he turned and saw me, he stopped.  Shame burned me as I gave him an uncertain smile, closed the door a bit further, and held out a hand, palm up.  Only after I did it, did I realize I’d exposed my wrist.  My eyes flew to his again.  He hadn’t moved.

I curled up, died, and was reborn in the fires of my anguish.  Yanking the door open, I marched right up to him and pried the bag from his dead fingers.

“Just so you know, I had a boyfriend.  Before the dreams started, and I went crazy,” I said defensively.  “It was pretty serious.”

Finally, emotion broke through his shocked expression.

“But I cut ties when I realized what was coming my way.  You know I’m old enough in the human world...and I know that by werewolf standards I’m old enough.  When you’re ready, you let me know,” I said boldly, turning away from him.

He stopped me, curling his fingers loosely around my upper arms.  The same arms that had a death hold on the towel and my remaining dignity.

“What are you saying?” he asked, his voice laced with a hint of growl.

I dropped the bag and stepped toward him.  “You didn’t think a girl willing to cut herself, take drugs, run away from home, and hitch rides from strangers would save herself, did you?”

“Joshua?” he growled.

Giving a small laugh, I touched his jaw, tracing the ridge of it with a fingertip.  “No way.  He smelled like mud.”  Then his reaction hit me like a lightning bolt.  His tense jaw, his overly focused concentration on my face...nowhere else but my face.  He
wanted
to see more.  My heart started beating faster, and the angry shame shrank back.  Hopeful, I stood on my tiptoes.

“You smell like home,” I whispered brushing my lips against his.

He stood still, keeping his arms at his sides as I reached up and threaded my fingers in his hair.  My lips traced his.  Tiny tremors shook him.  Then, he broke.  His arms came alive and gently circled around me.  He tilted his head and pressed his lips against mine.  Tingles chased up and down my back.  His mouth opened slightly as he planted little kisses in a trail down my neck.  He nipped the tender skin there before continuing down to my collarbone.

“Tell me this is a yes,” I whispered, struggling to keep my focus.

He groaned, but didn’t stop.  His mouth wandered back up my throat so I had to tilt my head back.  He kissed his way to my lips, but before he claimed them, he pulled back to meet my eyes.

“This is a yes.”  He tilted his head exposing his throat.

I reached up to hold his shoulders and pull him down a bit.  The towel fell to the floor.  His breathing came in quick pants, matching mine.  I kissed him gently, rubbing my lips on the corded muscles of his neck.  Then, I bit.

He groaned and held me to him.  A surge of love flooded me along with a consuming need to possess.  They weren’t my feelings.  Not all of them, anyway.  I moved on kissing my way up his neck to his jaw.  When he pulled back, a bloody smudge remained where I’d bit him, nothing else.

His lips claimed mine in a bruising kiss, and he turned us, backing me toward the bed.  My heart started beating so fast I thought it would burst from my chest.

When we reached the bed, he stopped and pulled his shirt off.  I knew then that we wouldn’t stop at just Claiming.  Anticipation flooded me.  This time it was all my emotion.  I smiled shyly at him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

*    *    *    *

Snuggled against his side, I traced my fingers through the hair on his chest, content and peaceful.  No dreams tugged at me.  I hadn’t looked at him yet.  I wasn’t sure if he would regret what we’d done.

“You lied,” he said quietly, turning to kiss the top of my head.

“The last lie I’ll be able to get away with now.  Well, with you anyway.”  I didn’t need to ask if he was mad at me.  I knew he wasn’t.  I could feel his contentment blending with mine.

“Was there even a boyfriend?” he asked softly.

“Not a serious one,” I admitted.  “Still wish we would have waited for the magic eighteen?”  I had to know.

He turned on his side to face me, his expression tender.  “Yes,” he said simply.  “You are worth waiting for.”  His love flooded me, but I felt no regret.  I leaned forward to kiss him.

“You’re worth waiting for, too,” I said softly.  “But I didn’t want to risk dying without feeling this.”  The connection between us grew, bursting with love and life.  It wasn’t just the impressions I had felt with Joshua.  It was so much more.  There was no room for self-doubt.  With Luke, I could endure anything.  Be anything.  Even a Judgement.

My stomach rumbled, and a thread of concern flowed through our link.

“Let’s get dressed and eat,” he said.  The concern kept growing.

“What’s wrong?”  The depth of what he felt washed through me.

“You never eat right.” He rose from the bed.

I forgot to breathe.  I’d seen him in the all-n-all before, but now he was mine.  I just wanted to jump on his back and pull him back under the covers with me.  I wanted his touch.  Needed it.  I blinked as I struggled with my feelings and realized with a smile, they weren’t just mine, because concern still flavored them.

“If you don’t stop, we’ll never feed you,” he said with a smile as he strode to the bathroom.

*    *    *    *

We met everyone downstairs for dinner.  Nana glanced away from her conversation with Charlene to look at us, then did a double take.  Her sudden wide smile told me she knew.

“About time he pulled his head from his...” Grey started to mutter, but a nudge from Carlos cut him off.

Four new members had joined our group.  Michelle’s brothers clung to two faces I recognized.  Paul and Henry.  They spoke to Gabby with a long time familiarity as they entertained the boys.  Michelle and Emmitt spoke off to the side with Gregory and Mary.  Michelle’s eyes were red from barely restrained tears.

When Paul looked up and saw me hand in hand with Luke, he smiled and nudged his brother.  Heat rushed to my face.

Dinner moved slowly, just the way we needed it to.  Michelle agreed to let the boys go on a long holiday with Gregory and Mary.  Or as the boys thought of it, with Paul and Henry.  We spent the time talking about nothing important, though I caught Gabby’s unfocused gaze as she constantly monitored the Urbat progress.

After dinner, we all agreed to meet in the lobby early the following morning.  The next day’s travel would bring us to Peace.

I went to bed eagerly and looked forward to another good night’s sleep.  But I didn’t get what I wanted.

“Daughter,” she said, standing beside the bed dressed in her usual taupe gown.  “You are so blessed to have finally Claimed a Mate worthy of you.”

I stood at the end of the bed, looking at Luke on his side, curled around me, his arm resting over my waist.  I looked so small compared to him.

I glanced at the Taupe Lady.  “I thought I only dreamt of the past.”

She smiled.  “This is the past.  Just minutes old.”

“Why am I dreaming this?”

“I’m bound to the past as much as I’m bound to the present, floating in the shadows in between.  This is the only place we may speak.  You must hurry to find your sisters.  His anger is growing and even she won’t be safe much longer.  Tread carefully, loved one.”

She smiled and reached out to pat Luke’s bare arm.  He shifted in his sleep.  Then, she leaned over him to place a kiss on my sleeping self’s cheek.

I bolted upright, eyes wide, the feeling her lips lingered on my skin.  The place beside the bed was empty, but I couldn’t shake the creeped out feeling.

“What is it?” Luke asked, instantly awake and sitting up with me.

I turned worried eyes to him.  “I don’t think I’m done dreaming, yet.”

He kissed me gently, coaxed me back under the covers, and encouraged me to lay my head on his chest.  He ran his fingers through my hair and rubbed my back until I relaxed again.  Still, I lay awake long after he started snoring.

She was worried about Courage, I was sure of it.  If she lived in the past and the present, she had to know what we planned and where we were headed.  I bit my lip thinking of what Courage might be enduring despite Michelle’s vision of gentle treatment.

Luke inhaled long and loud just then, his fingers twitching in my hair.  I smiled at the sound before closing my eyes again.  We would never need to share a room with anyone else with the noise he made.

The morning brought heartache for the group.  We all witnessed Michelle hold back tears as she pasted on a bright smile and said goodbye to her brothers.

I glanced at Nana and wondered if she’d reached my mother.  She met my gaze briefly, but her expression gave nothing away other than how she felt about the current situation.

Liam gave Emmitt a hug and asked him to watch over Michelle.  Everyone heard his loud whisper. “I think she’s sad we want to play with Paul and Henry.”

Emmitt smiled and hugged the boy until he protested.  Then, Emmitt promised to take care of Michelle, always.

“You too, you know,” Luke murmured close to my ear.

Puzzled, I turned to him.

His eyes looked slightly green in the morning light.  He wrapped his hands around my arms and pulled me close.  “I promise to take care of you, always,” he whispered just before his lips brushed against mine.

“Always is a long time for a girl who keeps coming back,” I said leaning into him.

“Forever isn’t long enough,” he said enfolding me in a warm embrace and taking the kiss to the next level.

Nana cleared her throat.  “All right you two.  We need to travel today.”

Luke pulled back with a sassy grin and clasped my hand.  I needed the support after that kiss.  My head spun and heart stuttered.

*    *    *    *

We arrived at the last hotel I hoped we’d need to stay at.  Well, in our search for Peace anyway.  There was still a lot of traveling and waiting to do when—if—we exposed werewolves.  The Elders still hadn’t given us their official decision.

“It seems like she’s staying in one spot now,” Gabby commented sitting on the edge of the bed in Nana’s room.

“I think it would be best if just a few of us go,” I said.  “Gabby, since you can locate her, an Elder, and myself.”

Nana looked worried about that but didn’t need to comment.  Gabby did for her.

“We’ll need more than that.  There are more Urbat here than there should be,” Gabby said.

I wrinkled my nose.  It was a big city.  We didn’t have much of a choice.  We needed to be here.  I understood the need to protect ourselves but didn’t like how it would look to Peace.  Having a large group of strangers come up to you and try to convince you to leave with them...I didn’t see that going over well with her.

“What do you suggest?”

“Six of us.  Grey, Carlos, Clay, you and Luke, and me.  It’ll give us better protection and still leave enough protection here for the rest,” Gabby said.

I knew she was right.  “Okay.”

“Sam’s out driving to see what kind of place she’s stopped at.  When he gets back we can go,” she stood and walked to Clay who waited by the door.  “If it’s somewhere nicer, Nana promised we can raid her suitcase.”

“Absolutely,” Nana agreed, hanging some of her things.  Most of her wardrobe was a little more mature than I’d ever worn, but she always looked nice.

I looked down at my worn jeans and stained t-shirt.  Ugh.  Clothes kept you from being naked and cold; I hadn’t thought about them any further than that.  How had I not noticed?  I looked at Luke.

“How can you—”

“What you wear doesn’t matter.  You are beautiful,” he said leaning in to place a tender kiss on my forehead.  “Your clothes just help hide it from all the other guys out there.”

Smiling, I shook my head at him.  Possessive creatures.

*    *    *    *

Four hours later, Gabby and I sat in the car with a very mulish Luke, and stoic Clay.  To me Clay didn’t act much different, but Gabby kept glancing at him and telling him to calm down.  When she’d found out Peace was at a club, she’d insisted that we change since we needed to look like we fit in.

Nana agreed and took us both on an impromptu shopping trip that had me twitching.  I didn’t mind shopping.  In fact, I used to love to go clothes shopping.  Before the dreams.  Before Urbat started hunting us.  Before I had a mission to bring us all together.  Now, however, the time we spent shopping and being in the open troubled me.  When we walked out of the store, I sighed in relief.  We had made it through without incident.  And I had new clean clothes.

Initially, Nana and Gabby had gravitated toward cute little party dresses that were sure to make a man’s eyes melt and his tongue swell, but I’d flat out refused.  If we were caught between an Urbat and Peace, I wanted to be able to run.  Who ran in heels and a skirt?  The movie extras that always died first!  I did not want to be an extra.  Neither woman could argue with my logic.

In our bags of purchased items, we both had stylish new jeans—mine hugged my thin frame in a sexy way rather than a sickly way—and very gossamer tops to go over low cut camis.  Gabby went with pink over a red top, and I went with blue over a green top.  My eyes stood out even more with the color combination.  I even purchased makeup, surprising both Nana and Gabby that I knew how to use it.  To me it was just a depressing reminder that I used to have a frivolous life.  Now I had a life worth living.

Luke shifted uncomfortably beside me.  He wore his own jeans and a shirt he’d borrowed from Sam.  I couldn’t believe how trendy Sam dressed.

When I’d stepped out of the bathroom dressed for our encounter with Peace, Luke hadn’t said a word.  He moved toward me then did a slow walk around me.  He’d whispered words to melt my heart.  “I can’t believe you’re mine.”  However, he ruined it by telling me to go back and change.

I squeezed his hand and gave him a quick smile.  He frowned at me, his eyes dropped to my top.

“Ready?” I asked the group. Carlos and Grey were up front waiting for Gabby and me to give the word.

“She’s still in there,” Gabby confirmed.

“Let’s go,” I said with a deep breath.  I struggled to contain my excitement.  Five of us together again.  My last memory of that was tainted with blood and battle.  I hoped for more from this life.

Luke opened the door and extended a hand to help me out.  Though I’d won the argument about the dresses, Gabby and I still wore trendy shoes instead of the sneakers I would have preferred.  It gave me a few extra inches, which I liked when standing face to face with Luke.  I gave him a quick kiss and moved out of the way so he could shut the door.

The neighborhood wasn’t the best.  A few blocks back we’d passed a burned-out car on the side of the road.  There was no parking other than street parking.  Bottles littered the sidewalk.  Gabby gave me a worried glance.  I didn’t like it either but stepped forward anyway.  I wouldn’t leave until we at least met Peace.

Our low heels clicked in unison as we marched toward the club.  The red door set in the brick wall of the building marked the entrance.  There were no windows on the first level that I could see.  I had my fake ID all ready to get in, but the door was unmanned.  I began to wonder if the place was even licensed.

Luke made a small sound of disgust as he opened the door.  The reek of stale booze and smoke rolled out toward us.  Grey, the first one in the group, stepped in with a resigned look.  I appreciated that I did not have their heightened senses as I followed.  Luke held the door open for a moment longer than necessary trying to let in some fresh air then followed the rest of us in.

A band played at one end, a mix of emo and rock. A small crowd stood in front of them dancing.  The crowded bar stood opposite.  The man there kept asking who was next.

Directly across from the entrance a stage sat behind a floor-to-ceiling wall of chain-link fence.  Instead of band equipment, which would make sense, there were various fitness bags anchored to the ceiling off to the sides.  In the center of the stage, on a huge mat that spread across the floor, a tall redhead faced off with a mountain of a man.  The rest of the crowded room focused on the pair.  The man’s bald head glistened with sweat as they danced around each other. Both wore boxing gloves.  It looked as if the fight had been going on for a while.

“That’s her,” Gabby said unnecessarily.

I knew her at first sight.  Her rage boiled in her eyes. I was about to agree and suggest we wait at the bar, but Carlos was already pushing his way toward the fence, his skin rippling dangerously.  I didn’t care how drunk or high these people were, they were bound to notice.

I heard Grey swear and try to pull Carlos back.  Carlos shook him off like it was nothing.  That wasn’t supposed to happen with an Elder.

On the stage, Peace ducked under a punch and came back with an uppercut to the man’s jaw.  The crowd groaned, but it was a good-natured groan.  The man staggered back and shook his head.  Carlos had reached the cage by then and paced back and forth in front of it, barely containing the beast.

Peace caught the movement and glanced at Carlos.  Her opponent took that opportunity to swing.  It connected hard, snapping her head back with the blow.  This time the crowd booed, but I could barely hear it over Carlos’ rage filled howl.  He burst into his fur—
in front of everyone—
and crashed against the metal.

The wires bent inward, molding to the shape of his head and shoulder.  A few of the brackets mounting the fence to the floor gave way.  The fight on the stage stopped as the two stared at the huge beast attacking the fence.  Peace looked stunned, but her opponent just stood there placidly.

“Clay, Luke,” I gasped.  “What do we do?”  We needed to stop him. He was going to wreck everything.  We needed Peace to accept us.  We needed our first exposure to her and the world to be nice.  “Watch for people taking video or pictures,” I shouted.

Clay reached out an arm without moving, or taking his eyes off Carlos, and crushed a phone in someone’s hand.  Luke did the same but started working his way through the crowd, pulling me with him.  People barely noticed us weaving our way through them.  They were completely focused on the stage.  So was I.

With a roar, Carlos charged again.  Brackets popped free from the ceiling with a ping.  The fence barely held on.

Peace’s eyes rounded, and she took off through a side door behind the fence.  Carlos’ massive head swung in that direction.  He paused for a moment, listened, then he took off with so much force, his claws left trenches in the wood floor.

As if that were the signal, the crowd came alive with panic and fear. Everyone flooded toward the exit.  Luke wrapped his arms around me to protect me from being trampled.  Clay had Gabby pinned to the wall by the door.

When the bar emptied, and the four of us stood alone with the buzz of an overturned speaker to keep us company, I met Gabby’s eyes.

“What the hell was that?” I said in shock.